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Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-10 21:52:35 (edited 2006-07-17 23:36:19)
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Have you noticed that there are these cliches that RPGs have, as if some secret RPG Constitution was written a long time ago and strictly followed by all RPG makers and programmers? If you talk about them, it's actually really fun to discuss them. Here's my first, about heroes' first towns and upbringing: 1. The RPG Gods hearby declare: All heroes will be seperated from their Godlike parents at birth and be raised in some crappy, podunk town before they set off to save the world (by the way, their first mission will be at some local cave, problaby rescuing a dog, or worse for your pride a pig, that ran in there). Don't play outside unless you know how to kill slimes and imps. Sometimes, the hero will be raised by his Mom, but she lies to him about his superhuman Dad until the last possible second. Thanks, Mom! She also chose to raise him in the crappiest town on Earth with the worst magic, items, and equipment in the game, therefore impeding her son's Godlike potential. Otherwise, an eccentric older guy will raise the hero, usually he knew his Dad. And this town has to be a mile away from a castle too, and they have the second crappiest equipment on Earth. Don't worry though, when you get to the third town you'll find even more valuable equipment than the castle, even though it clearly has a worse economy than the castle since it is another podunk village. Keep your thriving economy a secret, Town#3! WTF? Does the mayor of this town raise taxes so high and then wastes the money instead of buying new houses or some walls to protect his uber-village from the outside world? |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-11 05:45:41 |
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2)when travelling in the field,you are always as big as the building in the city,but once you enter the city,you shrank... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-11 13:54:02
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| 3: The RPG Gods declare: You may have spells that can destroy the world, techiniques equal to the force of nine trillion nuclear bombs, and a Dragon/Airship like the Starship Enterprise, but you will still need an insignficant metal key to open a metal or even wooden door to the next level! |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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on 2006-07-11 18:14:06 (edited 2006-07-11 18:17:30)
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4: If someone dies in battle you can revive them, but if they die out of battle you can't.    |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-11 18:31:53
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| 5: THE GODS HEARBY DECLARE: No matter how out of place, even if it we have to revolve the story around it, in every RPG there WILL BE a Fire Level, an Ice Level, a Water Level, and of course, the Sophisticated Technology Level!!! |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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on 2006-07-11 18:36:31 |
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6: People don't lock their doors, so walk in and take anything you want, then you can even have a chat with the people your stealing from and walk right out the door. This doesn't work in shops though. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-11 18:43:51
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| 7: Every single princess and hero's girlfreind has the healing magic. No explanation. Just the way it is. Why? Because the RPG Gods said so! |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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on 2006-07-11 18:56:19 (edited 2006-07-11 19:26:31)
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hahaha!!!! i got magz that tell 99 weird RPG rules, so here's goes 1. the more you progress in the game the more equipment they got in the store ( stronger equipment ), mean that the last town has the strongest weapon of all store 
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-11 19:22:41 (edited 2006-07-11 20:06:04)
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| 8: RPG gods hearby declare: 99% of a dungeon will look the same. However, when the background, walls, decorations, etc. suddenly changes, watch out, you've reached the final floor/room. Sometimes, there will be a highly technological room or floor, with sensitive computer equipment on the walls open to the touching and corroding, right next to the dirty, ecologically unstable cave. Ussually a simple door will sepearte them. And miraculously, after 1000 years, the door is still in perfect condition. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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on 2006-07-11 19:28:17 (edited 2006-07-11 19:29:38)
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2. the hotel/inn always has empty room for your party
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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10) When you fight, you can summon various summon and their attack always amazing really destructive but the enemy is just a few meter from the heroes why didn't the heroes got hit as well? As a symbol I can be incorruptible. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-11 19:41:40 (edited 2006-07-11 19:43:47)
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| 11: The evil emperor's right hand man will always end up being the main bad guy in the end, always. Couldn't you tell by his hair style and laugh being more evil than the emperor's? |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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on 2006-07-11 19:44:14 |
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3. change status effect always poison, blindness, sleep, paralyses,confusion. wheter the name will be altered or not the effect is the same
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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12) Most of RPGs' game main hero are armed with sword As a symbol I can be incorruptible. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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on 2006-07-11 20:00:52 |
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13) No matter how many times you go to the inn to sleep, everyone and everything stays the same as it was 2 seconds ago. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-11 20:01:02 (edited 2006-07-11 20:29:40)
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14: IF you encounter a boss at the very beginning of the game, he will slaughter you mercilessly (and you will barely get a chance to practice this RPG's funky controls). No explanation, he was just cruisin' and beating on noobs and decided to whip on some teenager(s) chillin' in the middle of the woods...of course this fight will motivate you to kick this b*****'s f***ing a** later, which you will. At that point he may respect you for "growing up", and then you can't help but love the guy who tried to murder you earlier. And of course, he is actually a henchman to the evil emperor (now we all know the real reason you set off to stop the empire). Don't confuse these battles with the incredibly easy first fight you can't lose that's set up to teach you how to fight, you can tell the differnce because some guy narrates every command you do, as if you are too stupid to read or experiment on your own. And inexplicably, sometimes you can see the "item" command, but your character forgot how to reach for the potion his pocket to actually use the item command, as it is unselectable. Also, that ???? command? Use it, ASAP. It's something good. Very rarely do question marks hide weak attacks. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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You will always have traveling with you: The smart-@$$, the person with the inferiority complex, the theif, the optimist, etc. I think you all know the rest. lol Basically all of the stereotypes rolled into one group of wandering hoodlums. ~ S.A. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-11 20:54:57 (edited 2006-07-11 20:55:29)
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Often times, when you encounter pirates, especially sky pirates, they will be very freindly and actually non-violent, not like the "Al-Queida of The Sky" that the rest of the world makes them out to be. And why would they be? Usually, they are the only pirates around! Watch out for the highest-ranking pirate girl, she seems harsh, but has a heart of gold, and can't wait to, um, you know, mmmf the unsuspecting hero. All her years traveling with many burly men has left her longing for a girly-man like you, Mr. Hero! If you get on a boat, don't get attached as it will be destroyed later on- but it's cool- later on the ship is recreated and made better, or you might get a sweet air ride. Sometimes the ship can be turned into a deep-sea submarine, too, defying the laws of physics and engineering. Sadly, some ships become useless and end up sitting in the bay, and later on you may fly over them on your dragon. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
 イタãƒX
on 2006-07-12 01:20:09 |
...there is alwys a legendary sword hidden in the game...  |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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on 2006-07-12 03:02:06 |
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if your character injure badly and even died in battle just sleep one night in the inn/hotel everything will be alright. like all injury gone in one night
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