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Determination and self-control
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-08-18 18:36:39 (edited 2007-01-07 21:07:18)
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How often have people said "It was too hard," "I couldn't help myself," "I had no choice," "I can't change it," or anything else like that? Those quotes make me angry, except maybe the "It was too hard" if they put in enough time on whatever was too hard. It was too hard - People often start a project, and then give up nearly immediately. Why give up so fast? I can see giving up on building a house ot something like that, but not everything is like that. People give up in games, give up on working, give up on making things better, people give up on anything that's uncomfortable. Now, what would bring more pleasure; Saying "I beat Halo 2 on Heroic, and it was my first time playing it," or saying "I beat Halo 2 on easy!"? I am asking you all to stick with things, even if they're hard. Never give up, never give in. I couldn't help myself - Yes, you can. You just didn't feel like doing what you were supposed to. This is a sign of lack of self-control. Having self-control is one of the most important things you can have; those with no self-control are frequently greedy, raping and stealing everywhere they go. And if you say "How am I supposed to get it? It's not like I can just ask and suddenly be able to control myself!" Actually, it is almost that simple. A good way to do this is to buy a large amount of soda (if there are people around you with some free cash), and sell it for more than you bought it for. If you can find 12-packs for $2.00 each, and you sell all of the soda without drinking a single can, you make $1.00 with every 12-pack you sell. So not only is it self-improving, you make money in the process XD Do what you know will help you and others around you. I had no choice - There is always more than one choice; usually there are at least three. You may just not like your choices. Example: Friend A tells you that friend B did something horribly wrong, and that you shouldn't tell anyone, but you don't agree not to tell people. You have three basic choices here: A: Keep quiet B: Spread it around C: Ask friend B why s/he did it and if it's even true Another example might be... Your friends all say "C'mon, you're not cool until you do this!" when it's something stupid like (the parents' phrase) jumping off a bridge. You might say "I have no choice" and go on with whatever it is... However, you do have more than one choice: A: Jump off the bridge B: Use logic to tell them why it's not cool C: Simply leave You have choices, you just need to see what choice is the best one to take. I can't change it - This one bothers me the most. I once heard someone I know say something along the lines of "I saw someone walking down the street a while ago. Do you have any idea how many people's lives changed because of him?" If you're dressed in rags, are walking slowly in a dejected manner, and you're carrying an empty bottle of beer, would that make someone feel uplifted? Or what about if you're looking straight forward, you're taking long, triumphant strides, and have a spring in your step, would that make someone feel uplifted? Everything you do changes things around you, just like a spider web. If you tug one of the threads, all of the threads connected to it will change. That's why all must be strong and hold each other up to make the web stay connected. Then the spider known as happiness can eat flies and live XD Everything you do has an impact. Lastly, people don't want to try things. If you try, who knows what will be accomplished? Just do it.  |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
on 2006-08-18 19:02:51 |
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Wow, Sachiel, what great points you've made! You are truly one of the few people left in the world with common sense. You don't have that silly voice in your head that tells you to accept ignorance. Congrats. Humanity is so varied, yet it seems that the better off a people are, the less respect they have for their fellows. So basically, it seems that financial prosperity warrants moral and sensical decay. You also have to consider the families some people grow up in. You obviously have a fantastic upbringing, yet others are not so fortunate. Millions of people are subject to turmoil at home, which may give them the trait to give up quickly. In that case, you can't necessarily blame them for psychological inadequacies. Nevertheless, we can only hope for the best. |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
 DaedalusMachina
on 2006-08-19 00:06:55 |
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Most human beings have an innate need to belong in a group, which is evident in almost anything you look at. Political parties, religion itself, companies, sports teams, etc. To some people, it goes so far as the choices they make, regardless of the logic behind it. Myself, I have always hated/been afraid of groups of people, so I've never even been tempted to do as they do. As a result, a lot of the things I do are very different and a bit radical. |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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| The best way to be in good control of your reality is to be distracted from reality. Mainly,the action you want to abstain from's reality. |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-08-21 11:12:27
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Something else to think about... Do you have any habits/traits that you wish were gone, yet you can't seem to get rid of it? Everything you do gives you something; While sometimes it may be apparent what your payoff is, sometimes it's not so apparent. Examples: You are overweight and you hate yourself for it, yet you can never lose weight and keep it off. What might you be gaining by staying overweight? A: The obvious; you enjoy eating. It provides stress relief, something to do, it could do any number of things. B: The hidden; I recall hearing a story like this one from a woman who was raped when she was young, and ever since then she was overweight. Why? When she was thin, she felt sexy, thus prone to rape again. She ate and ate to feel secure. What you must do is find out what you're gaining by doing whatever it is you don't like, stop doing the bad habit, and get the payoff by doing something different, preferably something productive. This may take a lot of self-control, however... Something humanity is beginning to lose... |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by overlordsero
on 2006-08-21 15:00:15
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when has humanity ever had self control?? 
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-08-21 20:36:44
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Ever since I came around :P I'm gonna FIX THE WORLD!! No more depression, no more meaningless wars, no more greed, no more idiots, no more stereotyping, no more stupid stuff. And this is where I begin!! :D |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
 the 'papermaster'
on 2006-08-21 21:17:05 |
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wow, sachiel sure has his work cut out for him, eh? |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by overlordsero
on 2006-08-22 10:53:15
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Yeah he does! XDXDXD hmm... everyone... JOIN THE CAUSE!!! Join SAROW!! Sachiel's Absolute Reign Over the World (SAROW) Join today and get a free lolipop!!! (while supplies last)
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
on 2006-08-22 12:00:12 (edited 2006-08-23 06:15:50)
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wow! it's been a while since i last found a thread that's full of sense. and it's really overwhelming me. hahaha... i almost thought of leaving gendou.com because this is suddenly dominated by people who just wanted to waste their time or play the role of something/someone else. anyway, i do agree that people never run out of choices. but it do happens when you only have one choice to choose from. i had this situation, just two weeks ago when i really wanted to leave the company i've been working for because i'm not really liking the job. so i talked to my immediate supervisor and he listed all the consequences of my decision because he was thinking then i have not thought about it that much yet and he strongly believes that i'm not giving myself a chance to enjoy that job. he said i still have to render a 30-day notice before i could leave and i can't request for an immediate resignation. i told him i had made up my mind and i couldn't even render the company a week notice. i'm in the operations anyway. i do not have to wait until someone replace me in that position because there are thousands of people on the floor doing the same job. besides i have been on their operations for two weeks only because i came from a different account. so my supervisor let me talk to the operations manager, and he told me the same thing about rendering 30-day notice. he added that the only reason they could waive it is if my performance would affect the company. and i told him it would later on, because i was only forcing myself to come to work during my last week. and i'm not really doing good because my thoughts are flying somewhere away from that job. it's a job by the way that i don't really like but the only job that opened opportunity for me then. and everytime i'm doing my thing there, i was always like "i shouldn't be doing this. this is not what i've been dreaming of," haha... i'm quite idealistic, too bad for me. but that's not what i wanted to talk about. it's when i talked to the project manager because she's the real person who could grant me my request. when she told me that she can't waive it because it's in our labor code. it's either i render the 30-day notice or she'll sign my resignation letter but on my employment history it will show that i was terminated. it felt like, she had given me no other choice but to terminate myself. hahaha... because if i would render 30 days more just to wait for my resignation be approved, i would eventually do things that will force them to terminate me. i'm not allowed to absent for the next 30 days or i'd be suspended or terminated. but with our work schedule, it would be impossible for me not to get sick and be absent. i'm not a machine. i can't work graveyard, 10 hours, 5 days a week. that's 10 hours in the office plus 4-5 travel hours. plus i can't sleep in the morning. so for three months i have not been getting enough sleep. like 2-3 hours everyday. i'm also pretty sure i would make other mistakes during that 30-day notice because i can't focus anymore. my mind is set already to looking for a new job. see? she should have told me it's either you'd be terminated by rendering 30 days more or you'd be terminated by not. hah?! so where are my choices? it's not literally speaking. we never ran out of choices, that's true. but, it's the value of the choices given that make them appear like the other's non-existent. boy, am i making sense? urrghh... it's hard to vent out in english. hahaha... i'm raging whenever i talk about this with my friends using our own language. hehe... because i thought, 'the nerve of that manager to impose on me the labor code as if i didn't know why the 30-day notice to the company was included in the law.' it's about transferring responsibilities to your replacement. but i don't have anything to transfer plus i've been in the position for a week only. and it's as if her company had not violated a lot of labor codes, which was among the reasons why i decided to leave. hmp! okay, okay i'm done with my rants. i just got carried away. and this is about choices if i'm not misunderstanding it. by the way, i chose to be terminated. as if i had other choice.  |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-08-22 15:13:55 (edited 2006-08-22 15:14:15)
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Well, here are my two cents: If they were making you work that much and giving you little/no time to sleep, why is it your fault for making mistakes? Wouldn't they hold some responsibility? After they've seen you making mistakes because of lack of sleep, wouldn't they either have to let you off without termination or reduce your hours? Sorry if I didn't understand correctly X_X |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
 
on 2006-08-22 16:45:15 |
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Well, only the "it was too hard", but the other ones I don't think I've barely said before. Maybe once or twice? |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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I am going to test determination and self control for myself very soon. For the past couple of years I have been doing jack shit in school. Never doing my homework and rarely coming to class. But now since I have a need for a future I am going to have to actually work in school. I'm going to see how far determination and self control goes when I go from deliquent studnet to semi-rolemodel student. I'm still not gonna do all my homework or pay attention all that much, nut unlike the typical me; I am going to do some work. Anything can be changed, it just depends on how much effort one needs and how much they want it. Sometimes something that is too hard isn't worth the the reward it yeilds. But were theres a will theres a way. As long as one has the willpower one can change things according to their own image. If one thinks they are inferior then they should get some will to go exercise. Once they become a hulking mass of destruction, their self-esteem will raise through the roof. They can work to making a special talent or they can feel different by creating their own style different from anyone elses. Everyone has something to apply their will, self-contol, determination, and common sense. It all starts from their vision of what kind of person they want to be. If one want to be their own ideal of the perfect person then they should use the choices they have and show how much guts they have to accomplish it.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
on 2006-08-23 06:14:54 |
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sach yes, you got it bro!^_^ why were you worried if you had misunderstood it? am i that disorganized in writing? haha... no they can't reduce the working hours. there's mandatory 2 hours overtime everyday. and we work graveyard because it's a contact center which serves foreign clients. i was one of their too many customer service representatives. it's the job's nature. i knew that the industry works that way but i never realized it would be really hard for me. the primary reason is that i can't like the job not really about not getting enough sleep. and your right why can't they just let me off instead of terminating me? so then i won't have a bad record and i won't have a hard time explaining to my future employer/s. |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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sometimes the choices given will not give satisfaction to us. so, we'll just have to choose the best out of the worst. living in limited choices has been the routine of my life. so many factors, family, friends, rules, and stuff restrict me from doing what i want. yeah, it hurts me sometimes, but i wont want to just brood about it and waste my life. even in the harsh situations, i'd want to make the best in everything. eventhough the best isnt good enough, i would be satisfied that i have tried hard on them. and people can control themselves if they want to. hoping for miracles to happen wont change anything. if you want to change something, change it with your own two hands (and brain, of course), just sitting there and thinking of failure that might happen (i cant change it, it was too hard, i cant do it, what if... etc etc) wont do anything. get up, wake up and get some common sense, and start acting. maybe your act wont change something major, but its a change nevertheless. so, self-control and determination? i'd say "dare to fail", even if you've chosen the crappiest choice, maybe its best for you. and the quote "try harder" is one of my favorites. im such an optimist :D  |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
on 2007-02-08 10:27:54 |
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This is too true. Even I do it sometimes. Especially when it came to my classes in Kendo. Sach is totally right. but in these times, people tend to care less of others' opinions and are more self centered. "I can't do it" " I can't help it" "I had no choice" always pointed and centered around I I I Me Me Me. kinda get it right? now these days, parents are more or less lax on their children. I've noticed this in many a cases where children that whine and throw tantrums get their way. This leads to less self confidence in working areas and more cockiness in popularity subjects. "My way or the highway" as they would put it. In these senses, it's pretty apparent that most of these qualities come from past areas. self-confidence also plays in roles of suicide. Emotions have the ability to cloud logic, logic is viewed as unimportant, Most are more cocky than confident. Even in my work as a kendo instructor, I have to make the determination to make lessons and keep those demonic kids in check. I always feel crappy in the end or even in the middle of it thinking " can't do this" But why I'm still doing it is because I like it. I suppose in the end, people's self-centeredness is going to be the downfall of all common sense, right?  |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
on 2007-02-08 13:01:56 |
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I agree with all the points made by the original poster. However, I would like to add that the choices we make everyday is based on how much life experience we have. For those who are chronologically challenged (young people), they may not have enough experience in their life to make sound decisions. I think I can safely speak for all of us that there are decisions that we make now that would have been made differently if those decisions were made when we were younger. Take marriage, for example. If I was 16, I would have loved to marry the girl of my dream. But if you ask me how I think about my marriage now, I would say you better know what you are getting into before you get married because it can be too hard for some people. And by the time you realize you made a mistake it's too late. Also, as you get older, some decision are made much easier such as loving someone. That is because as you get older you realize your time here on earth is short. There is no time to lollygaging (spelling) around.  |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
 
on 2007-02-08 15:46:57 |
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Yep.. I agree with Sach.. We can find a lot of people saying "I can't do this",, "It's too hard" or something like that... but in fact,, mostly they just don't want to do it.. either it has no beneficiary for them or they're too lazy for that or whatever.. and about "I can't change it"... I really hate this quote.. you make your own decision.. if it's wrong.. you're the one to blame.. and by saying you can't change it,, you want to blame the others.. not always.. but mostly it is.. like "I can't change it.. they made me like this.. and it's too hard for me to go back now" that's just an example.. i mea.. people who say this thing mostly want to blame the others.. they don't want to take the responsibilities of what they did.. and I agree with Dark,, people's self-centeredness is the cause of this matter.. 
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Re: Determination and self-control
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by
on 2007-02-10 14:45:05 |
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I think I wrote something like this a long time ago. I heard it somewhere: ~~Do or do not, there is no "try"~~ I really like it because it represents that when you wanna do something, you must go for it! completely... not being lazy, as hard as you can. When someone says "I can't change it", why don't saying "I don't want to change it" instead? Determination is powerful... believe me.   |
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Re: Determination and self-control
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I quote from The magical Shopping Arcade of Abenobashi: "Where your mind goes, your abilities are soon to follow." I play indoor soccer. And one thing that perturbs me is when someone needs a break and they stay on the field. I beleive in determination, but timing and preparedness have to be taken into account. Not everyone can run a marathon at a drop of a dime. If someone becomes too overzealous in their determination that they go blind to the obvious, then I think there's a problem. Self-control is an under-rated quality in people, I have friends who have screwed up their lives because of giving into peer-pressure. As for choices, I agree that there is always an option. Even no action is an action. I also beleive that ignorance, while it is the bane of clear thought, is also an effective weapon. Just as faith is an effective armor.
The next witty thing I think of and remember will likely end up here.
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