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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
 
on 2007-04-07 05:57:50 |
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Starting to regret that.. Doesn't the fact you didn't take too much that mean that you still got something there worth of living? Don't say such selfish things like I wanna die. I wanted to die too. But neither I was too cowardly or then I thought too much about other people. I know you have thought about that too. Or let's say I trust you have thought about it. But the fact here is, that what do you win if you die? You know. Maybe you'll find out if there is life after death (there propably ain't) so don't you think it would be better to be here, and find out, if there would be more what life could offer you? If you give up now, you'll never find out! That's why I keep believing in life. I don't know the reasons behind your actions. But I hope you can trust life. Find the good things, okay?   |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-07 06:12:25 |
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neh..nee chan you say find good things.. what if there arent any good things for ya to find.. lol.. i dont really feel loved by my family.. i wante to help my sister sen songs to her..then my mum just was like " WHY ARE YOU HELPING..im busy AND YOU DONT HELP ME.." i was like " i just helping her..she say a while only.." then my mum walked away asking not to help her.. lol...i just wanted to please my family thats all.... seriously..thats all..just making them happy is making me happy.. but i cant seem to do that..i made them even more angry.. i cant do anything..even when i do something right..it seems so wrong.. even when i get injured..she scolds me..why cant i take care of myself.. even when it was people who bullied me..i merely just fight back.. i get a scolding.. what shit is this... i aint wrong...but i got punished.. typing all this make me feel worse..cause i usually act like i dont care.. haha..im all happy and all..it doesnt..seems to work..lol.. times and times again i wanted to run away..LOL..but i cant go anywhere..im stuck in this bloody shit place.. im really wondering was it wrong to give birth to me?.. 
RENO..IS CLAIMED..
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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I understand that what I say is very selfish, but I don't think many people know why I feel the way I do. I hate my body. I hate everything about it. I really wish I could look like other people. I REALLY hate it too, not just dislike a few things. I spend hours crying in front of the mirror. I've also starved myself a bit, scrubbed my face to the point that it bleeds, and have done other such things. So far I've lost 15 pounds from fasting, and I'm still ugly. I'll never compare to other girls. They can't understand either, because everyone loves them for their beauty. All that bullsh*t about personality is really untrue. My therapist says that I feel this way because of the sexual abuse I've gone through. I differ in opinion. ~ S.A. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-07 06:58:54 (edited 2007-04-07 06:59:48)
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fattie...you're right..we might not feel what you are going through..maybe cause we have never been through it..but..it not your body only..its your parents who gave birth to you.. and your body.. dont hate it.. i hate my face too..im sick and tired of what people always say...so i rarely take pictures..cause i think im ugly too..but i grew to at least stop hating myself..you can lose weight in a healthier way..like exercising..maybe jogging?.. dont starve yourself..they one who are sad might not just be you..it can be you parents..maybe your friends..maybe your siblings..maybe us?.. everybodies personality is different..like take mine for examples..i usually laugh alot..i smile alot..but truely..what i am thinking is exact different..i tired from trying to please my parents..i was a rugged teenager to be exact...use to be..i would scold bad words and all..but not smoking of course.. but i have changed..for the better..i feel a lot better.. but if your personality is great itself..dont change..stay that way.. :] whatever the cost..i may never maybe really understand your pain..or sorrow..but pleasedont hate yourself..dont cry..its easier to smile..smile more..i think everyone no matter who or what..looks nice smiling..
RENO..IS CLAIMED..
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by Ryoko no baka
on 2007-04-07 07:33:51
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@shinji + fattie Know that you two are definitly not alone, and many of the others made it through. This is a time you both have to face, and if you don't pull through, it may get very ugly/serious. I understand how both of you feel. Isuues of weight, beauty, family, responsibilities... etc. the list will never end until you decide to end it. These things can eat you alive, as I'm sure both of you already know that. @Fattie: I know it's tough, and I know reading these words won't make you feel any better. Truth is, nobody can help you, but we can only show you that we care. I've been through the suicide thing now, I have actually three packs of Contact and Aspirin in my drawer right now, but I don't think I will use them. Thought about it, but then was too scared, and felt like a coward. I also have marks in places where I have tried to cut... but again, got scare. There are so many things in this world you haven't experienced, you've only started! I mean, you started on the wrong end, but know that there are alot of things waiting for you, and those are wonderful, beautiful things. I don't know what those things re, but they're there. I live only on the hope that life will get better, and I hope you will too. Please do not hurt let yourself hurt yourself again. and, please know that there are people in this world that cares. Shinji does, Nekomimi does, and I do too. ^^ @Shinji: family... yes, I know this story well. I am in a similar situation. Again, you re not alone. The way you try to please them just shows that you love them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem arises when those expectations are taking too much out of you. I know I've contemplated suicide due to this issue, and I lost my appetite... and then food hit me in the face and I gained weight massively.... It wasn't healthy. But, through all this pain, I've come to realize that love is not something that should hurt you. It's hard, but you gotta understand that parents are there to love you... but they are also human beings. They need a release sometimes aswell, if you're the next available punching bag, they'll punch it. (metaphor) I know the feeling feels like complete sh*t, but that's life. Life is a balance of the good and bad. Just know that your family loves you and there are reasons for why they do what they do. I'm still struggling with this issue, but hopefully, you will handle it better than I did. i believe in you, and you need to believe in yourself and help YOURSELF through this. Isn't that what your name is all about, Shinji? ^^ Anyway, both of you, I wish you the best. I know all of the above sound really like ramblings, but I meant every single word of it. Above all, if you need help, ask. Do not hide everything behind a smile, (I did, and still do) trust me, it feels great to cry once in a while if the need/urge arises. Good Luck! ^^ |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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Thank you a lot for your kindness, Shinji, Ryoko and anyone else. It was comforting. ~ S.A. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-07 20:59:56 |
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@ryoko no baka..ARIGATO.. :]..hontoni arigato..i pulled my self through..^^ @fattie..you too..gambateh..we here..XD..friends..xD
RENO..IS CLAIMED..
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-08 08:39:16 |
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Fattie (even though I doubt you are one), why should you compare yourself to others? They aren't you, nor are you them. What you're doing is similar to comparing an apple to a pear, they may both be fruit but that doesn't mean they are the same. If you're looking to improve yourself base that on yourself, not others. Perhaps the more important thing to be know is to never put yourself down, as it's the same as taking down a building to go up stairs. You may get to your destination but you've destroyed everything around you and you really haven't gotten anywhere. Shinji, it would be cliche of me to say that you can't please everyone, but it is true. Not every battle can be won, but you should still try your all. You're a nice person and you probably want to do as much good as you possibly can, that's very noble of you and I applaud you for it for I try to do the same. I often find myself in your position, you give all you can to others and it seems like they give you nothing but pain in return. It's very easy to say that you give up on that person and walk away, but the thing that happens is that they often need you even if they don't show it. The best thing to do when people don't directly appreciate you, is to take the pleasure out of the action and not the response from others because frankly, people are stupid like that. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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| You know I can really relate to what you're saying fattie. Though I wasn't looking for a girlish figure...that'd just be weird of me. Even in my past prime I was not satisfied with my body. No matter how much I improved myself there was no sense of peace or contentness. It was because my view of perfection left room for no error, no deviation, and no room for myself. We all must realzie that we are flawed; we are human. But we also have our own uniqueness. The traits that seperate us from all the others and make us special. Sometimes we are too blind to see it so others must point it out and other times we find it only by mistake. So my message is not too far off from what others have said. We all have to find our own way. Once you walk the true path, you will find all you seek. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-08 21:04:23 (edited 2007-04-08 21:07:04)
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hi again~ i've been keeping this for a few days. i have a friend.lets call her MN. well,she's a new friend to me and I don't know so much about her.One day,I sms-ed her and asking what was happen between me,her and my ex~ well,first of all,she said she's sorry if it because of him.I was surprised because I never talked about my ex to her.I replied to her,why you did all these things to me?(She take away my ex from me,without me knowing it).She replied but she did not answered my ques.I felt a bit angry to her and I ask her,"Do u care about my feelings?".She said,she do care about my feelings.If she care about my feelings,why did she do all these things to me?I mean,we're friends and she take away my ex without me knowing it!I'm so pissed off but I still tried to calm down.She said everyone makes mistakes.I replied to her,"And u can avoid thses mistakes by thinking what to do and not to do!"After that,she never sms me. First;she said she care about my feelings but she take away him from me.does she care about my feelings?I can say that she did not. Second:She said everyone makes mistakes and I think she can avoid it because she know about me n him relationnship.I could say she did not think. Third:She said she is my friend but for me,a friend will not ever do that.Right?At least,me and my friend can be honest t each other that I have a crush on her bf.(tehee..) Fourth:She lied to me.I know that he's in boarding school and they're not allowed any cellphone to bring.She said that he called her.Hey!How come he can called her?He talked to me before he went there that he will not bring his cellphone! And now,I don't know what to do.I am really confused.Tell me what should I do in this situation?Omg~/eat myself.. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-09 16:14:26 |
| Esther, ask yourself "is she worth it?" Is this "friend" of yours worth keeping around you and is she worth the emotions she brings to you. If she is then stay the course and try to repair your friendship back stronger than it was before. If she's not then don't let her affect you anymore. People who do things to get other people to respond will stop when they're attempts aren't met with success anymore. It's one of the few ways to resolve that kind-of problem peacefully without escalation. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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hi everyone, im just so freaked out right now! im gonna have the biggest exam ever and its like a turning point of my life..and im soooo freaking scared right now. sometimes i just feel like giving up but i wont want that. i keep on consoling myself that i can do this but the thoughts of failure always come and haunt me. wah! im so scared! >.<  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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| This is natural for everybody. No matter how much we study, train, or prepare ourselves for an important event we always find the fear of the consequences sinking in. I would step back and take it easy if only for a few hours. Do something to calm yourself down. Realize that all your preparation will come to use. It is the dire situations that bring out our nobler selves. I have faith you'll rise to the moment, all you have to do is believe and give it your all. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2007-04-24 15:07:47
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Aye, I haven't been in tune with this thread (or the last one, really...) for a little while... But I can't help but notice: Where's Nightmare? The original Depression Thread creator seems to be in "Hiatus" mode... His last post was in the 3rd thread, with "Thanks guys... For everything!" as the last sentence, and his latest activity was on march 14th... Tinna, did you bark at him on your birthday? :P  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-24 15:09:10 |
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I have a question about this thread.... Do we just come out and say what is bothering us? Or.... I don't know >< I just have to get something off of my chest.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-24 15:42:05 |
@eureka:let's hear it.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-24 15:43:03 |
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@Without You: Are you sure you want to hear it? There's alot.... >< |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-24 16:02:48 |
| crap I feel like vomiting! i've got insomnia fro like weeks now! red bull and lipovitans' the only thing keeping me from going burn-out! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-04-24 18:08:52 |
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Eureka, that's what this place is for. No matter the size of problems or even the number, there are always those willing to help you get past them. When your problems cease to be yours alone they become much lighter for you to carry and you can get past them much faster than you would on your own. That said, go ahead and tell us, we'll listen. N.S.Kai, that much stimulants isn't good for your body, chances are the prolonged insomnia that you are experiencing is due to your bodies natural chemical balance being offset from all those drugs. Simply put, put down the stuff and let your body crash, it needs to reset so let it before you cause permanent damage. Sach, I agree, I hope he's ok. I've been wondering where he's been for a long time now. I only hope the worst hasn't befallen our comrade-in-arms. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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I really hope Nightmare is doing well. Until you mentioned it I didn't realize he's been gone for that long. This thread is open to anyone and everyone. The best advice is to just start typing and your problems will reach the page. It's our privilege to give advice and comfort so you don't have to deal with your problems all alone. NSKai I'd have to agree with DNinja on this one. Drop the energy drink and take a nap. From one insomniac to another, go find a corner and curl up in a blanket. As for sleep aids, may I suggest the monotonous writings of John Locke or, if you're old enough, a case of beer and the Cap N'Tab game. Your body needs sleep to refresh itself and remove toxins. If anything in particular is causing your insomnia then I'd encourage you let it go for now, get some sleep, then take care of it ASAP. |