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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-18 16:41:36 |
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Pame:: Did you do something to make him say this these things about you? A [decently] close friend I know, has had "relationship/friendship" problems with my best friend (who I call my "cousin/sister"). He's in complete denial because when they broke up, yeah, it was heartbroken. She's over it by now, or has been over it, but now he has this hatred against her. He's said all these things about her not loving him ever, stuff like that, using the break up as a tag team partner... They're not talking now, but even the friendship is lost. Well, Pame, something like this be what you're currently in right now? I feel bad for you. T-T 
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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Esther I once felt exactly the same as you do now. In fact I still struggle to share my emotions with other people because it creates awkward tension between myself and the people I talk to. But it is unfair for you to have to bear all of that pain within your heart. It can cause scars that will not heal. I beg you not to keep it all inside. I always thought it was unfair for me to place my problems in the hands of other people and I still do to a certain extent. But you must realize that your loved ones want to help. Even if they do not understand, they are there with a shoulder to cry on and with an ear to listen to your problems. Letting it out will give you the most relief from your problems. To be so strongly disturbed by the praise and scolding of your parents shows how much you love them. Sometimes it is the parents fault that they neglect to praise the positive things and focus on the negative things. Your parents want you to grow up balanced and they do not want to disturb this growth with their constant interference. But you must realize that parents feel obligated to step in and guide you when the negative things do show up. I misjudged my parents in the same way. In sports I came home with medals upon medals from all my achievements looking for the pride in my father's eyes. When I got just the opposite reaction I was looking for, I threw a lot of my medals and plaques out. It was when I threw 4 of my gold medals at my father that he told me what I mentioned above. They only want what is best for you even if they do not know the best way of going about it. After all, no one is perfect. Humans are very complex. I am not asking you to completely change the person that you are today. That, in fact, would be a step in the wrong direction. I am asking you to look within yourself to see who you really are. Be true to yourself and you will find truth in others. Love yourself and you will find love in others. You can only ever be yourself. So you must choose the path to follow. I am only asking you to understand your motives before choosing that path. It will save you a lot of heartache down the line and leave you feeling at peace inside and out. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by zparticus27
on 2007-03-18 21:04:55
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crap that's exactly how i feel...hahaha i once failed in HS so i had to retake that subject...thinking that i was being a burden to my parents i strived hard so hard that during graduation i earned a few medals and became a salutatorian...hahaha i was so proud of myself that day. i was able to show my parents that i can suceed if i really put my efforts in it...sure they were a bit proud of me but on that day my mom said..."are you really the honor? maybe you just paid your teacher to keep your grades up" damn, that felt like a knife in my heart...i strived hard so that i can be deserving of their blessing but they still doubt my capabilities....hahahaha life is sure complicated...so it is hard to share problems with them...i feel akward just talking about myself so i tend to hold it in...i naver dared to tell them my problems...and at times i just let it all out...i cry for no reason at all....so calm myself i just pray.... well just had to let that out...i hate those moments when i just wanna blow up that i feel i can take on anybody....those momnets that i can say "hey punch me!"to to release everything... so if you can,try to express those feelings to someone close to you... for me i just can...i too scared...hahaha im a coward...im a fool... hahahaha if it wasnt for God...well i dont know how will i ever cope with these feelings... and yeah...time heals most wounds...lets the scars serve as a guide and not make the same mistakes... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-19 15:27:10 |
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nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Pame is sad T___T That makes me sad... specially casue i don't know what to do to make her feel better.... I wish i could do something for her T__T   |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
 
on 2007-03-19 15:34:06 |
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DA AND GC: I didn't say anything...I have never talked bad of him...never...And i don't know what caused this reaction...I seriously have no idea....Plus, he is definitely overexagerating...which makes even more sad...and frustrated....I tried to talk to him...I tried to make him understand...but then he wouldn't...he didn't understand my point...T-T Now ...I really don't know what else I can do...I guess I lost another friend...T-T and worse to that...he said that people close to me say bad things about me...he didn't even care to tell me who these people were...he basically laughed about it when I said that I trusted in my best friends, cuz they are the ones that i truly care...and he laughed and said..."Are you sure?...I said yes...I would put my hands in fire for my best friend...and then he replied..."Oh well...then you'll get burned!" So that made me feel like crap...Now, I have no idea...if what he is saying is true...I'm confused...I don't know who to trust anymore... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-19 15:40:21 |
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Pame:: Hmm... your friend might've heard something bad or just misunderstood some sort of rumor? Rumors... yeah, they're all over my school... Some are from these guys at my lunch table but moving along... Did you try yo talk to your friends? The ones that "purposively" talk bad about you behind your back or something. "I would put my hands in fire for my best friend." That's saying something, but what he said was dull and he needs to get slapped or something. Though, I'm not sure of what really happened so I'm not sure if I can help much, sorry. T-T Just hope... you make it work out soon. Be strong; FIGHT~
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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This is just the way most people take things out on others. He believes he has been slighted by something you said about him and now he has closed his mind and wants nothing but the same feeling of hurt to be felt by you. I guess his arrow has struck true because it seems that you feel betrayed as well. Many friends talk about one another when they are not around. If I see something that has changed or seems odd about one of my friends I will bring it to the attention of his other friends but I do so only so that I can help them. Others however just bring it up so that they can damage that friend in some way because of jealousy, revenge, and many other deplorable things. If that person does not want to hear what you have to say then you both waste your energy attempting to communicate your feelings. Give it a little time. Maybe this person will get over it when he realizes the foolishness of his attitude. Once you have given it some time then atleast try to get him to sit down so you can have another chance to understand both sides and rectify the situation. Or if this guy is anything like I used to be, nothing you can say will change his mind if the assumed insult strikes true enough in his heart. If that is the case then it is up to him to forgive or hold a senseless grudge. Like all young men they just need their space to sort things out. Seven years is a very long time to sever a relationship that deep over a supposed slight against him. If I were him, I would be pressuring you for answers instead of pouting about it like a child. In any case I wish you luck and clarity in these tough times. If he is any bit the man you think he is, you can be sure that he will not fail you by the end of this ordeal. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-19 16:10:00 |
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Pame: I would seriously smack someone with that cynical attitude...and I'm patient. Like DA said,talk to your other friends about this,or ask someone you trust at school if there are any rumors around about you.But you cannot lose trust in people. If you do,then you'll most likely get as cynical as your friend is right now. There's always gonna be someone trying to keep you down.Don't let it tear you up inside.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-19 16:50:09 |
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Thank you so much! Yes...I'll give it time...That's all i can do for now! Thank you!!! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-19 18:35:39 |
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I picked the wrong day to go out. Of course I should have seen it coming. There's always a lull before this thread explodes. Believe in your friends, the more trust you place in them the harder it will be for them to break away from you. Establish mutual connections and make so that your friends can't leave you because they depend on the support you give them. When you've done that you have insured that you will have friends for as long as you keep those attachments in place. Saying you trust your friends is one thing, but actually doing things that show it is another. If someone doesn't believe your words, show them with your actions. And if they don't trust you enough to look past such things that may or may not be true then perhaps you need a more trusting group of friends to call your closest. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-20 16:48:51 |
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it has been a pleasant to accept all your advices and opinions.Now,I feel better after i cried.I still go on with my live.thanks wolf,zparticus,gc and everyone who read my entry.as long as i've someone to listen me,it is enough~~wehee~ @D-Ninja:this thread wont explodes.believe me~x) |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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I know I haven't been replying much on gendou at all lately, but I still read the depression thread. I just don't have much to say these days. Wolf, I am going to say that what you did was completely right. Dont go to deeply into it. You could kick him while hes down for all I care. Anyways... Friendship troubles seems to be the motif right now. I'd like to give advice, but it would be counter productive. After all, I have no friends. I dont want friends actually. Opprotunities to make friends just come to me, but I avoid them like the plague. All I know is that any friend that I have gotten close to screws me over, most people on my "to kill list" are former friends. I find that my best friends I had where the ones that I never really got close with. Before I was such a good friend that I got taken advantage of. However now that I have Honeyko I found that any friends at all would only get in the way. She tells me I should go make friends and she tells me I have friends, but I dont acknowledge that. She has more friends than I thought possible and she is close with them all. She makes them so easily too. Its rediculous of how many friends she has. When I was in Malaysia, there was the concept of my friends are yours going around. But I didn't open up to her friends even though they were trying to include me as much as possible. Anyways hmmmmm, now you see why im not a good person to ask for advice on friends. I am not saying I don't like friendship, I think having friends is a great thing. Just not for me. Ou Nae Nae, I know how you feel, I got the same problem. Just she is more than a hour and a half away. Its about 18 hours on a plane. Anyways, life is good. I am just waiting for when Honeyko can finally come to america, then when we can finally move in together then when we can finally get into a routine in which we can live our lives together. I have my worries, but I feel like the future is looking good.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-21 17:54:27 |
| Jomunga, even if you violently deny it I will be your friend. you've been there for me on many occasions, and so even if you say you have none I'll still be there. Even if you don't say it you'll have friends. In any case, good luck with honey'ko I can only imagine the desire on either end to live with each other. I hope things work out for you two, even though I know they will. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-21 21:39:14 |
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ahh man,i missed this place havent been here for like 4 or 5 days and it feels like 2 weeks >__< ehh...feeling so crappy rite now caught a cold, have been working my butt off, parents pissed at me for not eating dinner.........arggg im procrastinating again >___<  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
on 2007-03-22 10:13:21 |
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RGH!!! I'm depressed as I can possibly be!! Rabbit imoto-chan isn't on as often, I'm as lonely as a butt monkey in Christmas and I MISS DA RABBIT!! BUAAAAHH!!! TT__TT  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by Ryoko no baka
on 2007-03-23 03:34:26
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Sorry everyone... I haven't been here for a while... Itried not to seriously, ciz I wanted to try and actually be happy for once... instead of being shrouded in this constant cloud of pain.... having said that, I realized I can't. My teacher just marked my test... and she marked a question wrong, but it is right... and the other one she took off two marks, when it only deserved like a 0.5! I mean... if she was a bitch, and felt like 2 marks just to spite me.. FINE, but I got the first one right. She said: "If I look at yours, I have to look at everyones!" (yeah... that'syour JOB dumbass!) "Everyone just wants more marks!" (no really?!Why should I settle for a 70 when I can get an 85 if you give me those marks... and yes, it was a double digit difference.) If just annoyed me... SHe's DO LAZY!!! Doesn't she know marks are really REALLY important in grade twelve... I mean.. SERIOUSLY!! I'm not rich, I need that scholarship! AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH CUZ I CAN'T SWEAR RIGHT NOW!!!!! GAH! She pissed me off sooo much! I tried not to think about it.... but I ended up bruising my hands from punching the wall.... WTF!!!! DIE!!!! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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Dninja, I like everyone on gendou and such. In a way we are friends, but then again it solely depends on how one defines a friend. To me I consider a true friend to be kinda like Huck and Fin or Milo and Otis. I feel like what I have are acquaintances; people I know, like, and chat with. But it lacks a bond. I dont think I will have any friends to share that bond with. But I am completely bonded with honeyko so it doesnt matter. I guess what I am trying to say is that I dont consider a person my friend until they are as or more important to me than myself. Dark, shes right above you! Catch the rabbit! Ryoko, sorry about the teacher problem. They sometimes go crazy and loose their soul. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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by
  
on 2007-03-24 22:24:42 |
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Guys... I just wanna say sorry... I dont feel much like talking, but yeah... I'll try. To those that know of the 'L' incident... Im really sorry. The culprit sorta like admitted to me that he has a friend thats gonna do it... I even admitted to him that my account was previously hacked, not knowing that he was the one who tipped of 'the friend'... But i shrug him off thinking that he was joking. I did not tell Gendou of the posibility... I never believed that he was... like that... So now, i feel really bad because if i would have taken this into account... All the 'L' pwnage would not have happenned... Or at least been less chaotic... Once again.. Im really sorry for what i should have done... I guess, im feeling responsible as well for all the mess that happened the last 24hours... Only to find out that the culprit/origin of the cause... Was by a trusted friend that got banned... And i was INFORMED BEFOREHAND! Seesh. i really feel like a piece of worthless trash leecher now... I blame my stupidity... My innocence... And my own self for not being able to see through all this... Once again.. Soooo sorry... I just feel that i need to post this out to the people here in Gendou.com... Because i've made great friends and fell in love with the site... So. Yeah... (oh and i've already said my piece to Gendou himself... If that is what you're wondering me to do...)  Claimed |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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Jomunga it's nice to see you post around these parts again. I'm glad life's goin' good for you right now. I agree it takes a lot more than a positive disposition to be friend but those bonds do have to start somewhere. Inferno, I am not what you would call, "on the up and up." So I really don't know about all the specifics of this incident. However it seems you made an error judging the character of this friend. It happens to all of us somewhere along the lines so don't beat yourself up too much over it. Sometimes we blind ourselves to the darkness of other's hearts because we truly want to believe that the light will be the side that prevails. But life is rarely idealistic, I beleive the remorse you feel is punishment enough. As always just make sure you learn from these things because ignorance can be lethal. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V4
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It is so tempting to just consume all of the aspirin in the medicine cabinet...and I've done something like it before. I didn't take enough to actually die, and I think I'm starting to regret that. ~ S.A. |