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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2007-01-31 10:48:06 |
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ATTENTION EVERYONE!! I know a SURE way to cheer you up at least a tad bit. Go to this site and you'll be lifted from depression for a few minutes or so. XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp-oJhBxn6o  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-01-31 15:53:00 |
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what kind of video is that,dark?? hope it can make everyone smiling. =) |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Hello everyone... How are you? Fine thank you. I'm back from Malaysia, back from visiting Honey'ko, and back to gendou. I've got lots to read and catching up to due. Anything important I should know right away? Being with Honey'ko was the greatest time of my life and now that I am back in America I get depressed immediatly. Luckily I still got skype and msn. I think I may post some pictures later in the show pics thread for all to see. That wasn't so bad at all, I read through the entire thread since my last post. There was less than I thought there would be, and here is the reply. I typed this before I read the replies so I am now aware that he is a memory now, but I dont want to delete all of it so I will just leave this part since it may be helpful advice to others. Esther what kind of guy is your ex? Look at him from a perspective of a person who doesn't have feelings for him. Is he honest, good willed, rightous, loyal, etc. Normally the ones you can trust are the ones you think are nice people and not always the ones closest to you. I knew some of my friends were dirtbags but I trusted them because I thought we were friends. But I wasn't immune to their dirt after all. Wolf, I really like ur story about the dog. Its like wolf and dog become friends for a day. I can see a lot about that dog in you. It like how you are stunted from your previous injury or how you feel injured because of your track season being as it is. It seems you have gotten more poetic in the time I was gone. Beatrix, take that cat doll out of its bag. When you see another guy you think you can love hold that cat doll up to you and ask yourself, "Can this person amount to the memory of this doll?" If you can ever find someone you love as much as Kaien then good luck. Then take that doll and bury it in a time capsule once you are sure you are over him. Maybe one day you can dig it up and be grateful for the feelings of you first love? About the self-loathing thing. I felt that a lot before. When failing to be ones own ideal self. The best cure I'd say is compliments from others. Like my entire life I never thought I was good looking. Yet in the past month ive never been compliment on my looks so much in my entire life. I came to suddenly think maybe I am good looking. Next thing I know, when I looking at the pictures of my trip I start to think... whos that handsome man in that pic? Ou, thats me. Looks are just an example though. Self disappointment can come from just about everything. Normally some things aren't fixed by compliments. Looks are mostly based on perception, but some things need to be actually worked towards. D-Ninja, its about time we helped you now. You are really self-sacrifical. I think its best u just go for what you want. You can still aim for your own desires without hurting anyone else. In fact getting what you want may help other in getting what they want to. So you found another girl? What happened? My advice is, maybe more casualness here and there. Sometimes thinking about everything and every factor may be the wrong way to do things. Go with insticts perhaps. When talking even out your subjects. I know you can talk about deep and intellectual stuff all the time. But sometimes you need casual talk to put a foundation down. Sometimes you can talk about the most deep and out there conversations, but then maybe you do that too much you never bothered to talk about what types of food you like or you wouldnt know what each others day is like. That causes a lack of intimacy. Its good to get to know what they are thinking, but also good to get to know them in general. Maybe you should try starting from square one, think of each person you meet different. Some can't be handled the same, experiences from the past may be counter to what you should do. Sometimes you don't need to dig so deep into a person's phyche and just accept what is in front of you. Know one needs a perfect understanding, just acceptance. You may just need to accept yourself and those around you without trying to find out everything. I guess you should just find an escape from thinking I say. I think you are sometimes too smart for your own good. When you get lost and everthing seems to crumble down, just take a break. While you busy playing that video game or watching that anime, everything may have already seemed like yesterday's news. I'm not even sure if I am on the right page as you so I am going to stop here.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-01 16:44:28 |
| Thanks jomunga, in a nut shell I've know her for a while but am ust now getting to know her better. In the few weeks that we've been talking we've become fast friends. I guess the situation between us is about the same as you and honey'ko, except we're not in a relationship. This girl managed to work out of me my life story, something I've never really told anyone. In doing so I changed dramatically; mostly because I now have a concept of self and I know who I am for once. Any way, I have no worries about being casual with her. It's actually to the point that I started using emoticons again :p. I never use them, so for me to actually use one is like coming into an office on casual Friday wearing a T-shirt and jeans, ultra-relaxed. We're in the same book, just you're a few chapters ahead of me. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-01 18:52:56 |
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thanks jomunga..we're friends right now(me and my ex) but we didnt close anymore since he clashed with me. D-Ninja:how are u??feeling good??well,sometimes we need to accept that someone who makes our life more colorful is just a friend.its kinda hurt but if u didnt think about it so much,i'm pretty sure that u can handle this kind of feeling.yeah,I know its hard but it is one of the fact of life.the God wants to see us whether we can go through this challenge or not.Believe in God. =) |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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As I stare at this swollen and bruised mass that used to be my shoulder I can't help but remember so many other times I ended up disappointed in myself. My wounds represented the growing process. They were there to show me that I should push harder, learn from my mistakes, and inevitabely become a better person because I have been there, done that, and came out on top. But this one seems a bit different. You could say I had it coming because it I always seem to get what's coming to me. I was almost feeling good about myself. I guess that was a big mistake as far as the powers that be were concerned. I was finally on my last week of 6on/1off plyometric training before I stepped into serious lifting. With re-conditioning complete my body would be able to handle the addition of 40 some lbs. of muscle I would pack on before I moved to my cut and tone routine to that would...I just realized I'm talking about something no one is really interested in. Anyway with my chinese food hot and ready to eat I gingerly hopped from my computer chair, sidled down my hallway and stood on my hands at the top of the stairs. I happily waddled down the stairs on my hands before becoming a complete moron and attmepting to take 2 steps at once. Quickly I lost balance and tumbled down my stairs as graceful as a sack full of potatoes. Rolling with laughter I got up, lunged into the kitchen, and began to shovel away my dinner. With the completion of my eating frenzy I noticed my right arm was very heavy. After bringing it to the attention of my brother(a nurse) I lifted my shirt to hear him roar with laughter. "HAHAHAHAHA you dumb mother f**ker you strained or tore your shoulder muscle!" was all he said to me before he poked my swollen, bruising mass and ran off giggling like a 8 year old schoolgirl. Which in hinesight is hilarious because of the size and amount of fur my brother possesses. Nonetheless it feels like someone jammed a rusted, jagged hunk of burning metal up my arm. Now I sit and smile because I completely give up. If I stop smiling then I will probably throw my face through something large and dense as many times as I can before passing out. I have lost the will to move on and though I feel frustrated, saddened, and a little shocked I almost welcome it. And it's in that moment I realize, "Man I'm f**ked up." |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-04 19:42:50 |
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Hmm, Wolf, good to see you. I can always find you in here. ^^, That's pretty wrong of your brother, who's a nurse, to not only laugh at this serious injury, but poke at it, also. You can always expect bad things to happen to you in the real world of reality. Even now, currently, I tell my friends, or "show" them that I act normal everyday. I go to school, go home, eat, computer time in between, homework, reading for this dumbass permit that I hate to take (first time failed without studying and the class, I slept a lot). I have parent troubles here and there, my chest has a weird feeling from time to tome, and other problems, too. I only have like, one friend who I tell all this stuff too, my best friend, only cause she understands best. Telling this to my other friends, simple is a waste of time, so I wear a mask, with my friends unaware of the easy to sense feeling in me. With you problem, Wolf, there is none, 'cept your shoulder, of course. Err, I'm not really sure how to respond to you now positively, but I try to act "truly" happy within, because it helps make the outer me (behind mask), seem, more joyful. Everybody's life has ups and downs, that's just a fact, but if you already know, why bother to worry about the bad stuff, right? Do whatever it is to make you happy. XD Also, I would slap your brother. ^^, 
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2007-02-04 20:02:19
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Hey Wolf, this might be a flat-out "duh," but it seems like you'll break a bone or dislocate something by stripping over a rock... Is it just me? Or when you fall, do you like... fall down uber fast and smack into the ground like a sailor hitting land after 3 years? I can seem to fall down the stairs, wrestle with my dad, get kneed in the gut and pushed down the stairs again, and still manage to walk to work in freezing weather (with no coat) to work the next day, at which I regularly carry 80 pounds of water to someone's car. I dunno if I'm just like Hercules, or if you're strangely apple-like... But yeah, that seems strange to me >.> And giving up because when you get happy you get reckless seems kinda irresponsible, no offense. Why not just be more careful? Or avoid letting yourself get so reckless? BTW, I agree with DA there :D *No idea if that helps or just makes you angrier... But yeah, I wanted to say something*  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Sach I couldn't get angry with anyone's opinion because it is just that. They're opinion and they're quite entitled to it. I do think that faceplanting, busting my leg or dislocating my knee because I fell 2 stories onto it is a little worse than tripping over a rock but I do agree that my hazardous lifestyle gets me injured a whole lot. This incident struck me as odd because it was a very mundane siuation that did me in. The majority of the time I get injured because I compound my punishment and do increasingly more dangerous stuff. I exercise until I have nothing left to give then go do other physically demanding things. Today happened to be back/shoulders/tris so I was already tired before I even attempted to walk on my hands. The only reason my shoulder is hurt is because if I didn't attempt to post off my shoulder I would have nosedived into our lovely retro tile floor. Maybe that would have been better because I am very thick-headed. I was just pissed because my own idiocy set me back another 2-3 weeks and I am a very impatient and demanding person when it comes to myself. And to answer your question, I'll always end up being careless and reckless sometimes but I could not be content with myself if I did't push myself to the very limits of my ablilities. I am fully aware that sometimes I push a little too hard. I just had to get this situation off my chest before I ended up breaking something or injuring another body part. My brother informs me that even though it looks nasty and hurts like a son of a b**ch it's not that bad. The relationship between my brother and I is unique and debasement is our own form of endearment. We give each other negative reinforcement to make sure the lessons sink in. Mine being not to try something new on an already battered body(dropped the common sense bomb on myself). DA it's good to see you man! I haven't seen you haunt around these topics for awhile. You should be doing what I am doing. Getting this stuff off your chest before it eats you alive. I think that feeling you're getting in your chest is you choking down the words you want to say to your parents. I know it sounds impossible but confront them and tell them how you feel about the situation. If you hide behind that mask then those people aren't friends with you but the concept you created. I also used to walk with a mask but as you come into your own you'll realize the foolishness of that mask. If the people you know are really your friends than they will support you, speak their minds, and accept you no matter what path you choose to walk down. Sometimes friends split because their paths lead in different directions. It's the true friend that will never think ill of you once you've departed from one another's side. But my brother's poke is noted and will be be brought to justice when the siaution presents itself. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-04 21:52:34 |
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Hehe, good luck with your brother. Oh, about the chest thing, I meant every so often, I would have some weird feeling, not like, mentally, but like, when I cough or something, it would hurt, and sometimes I loose my breathe for some reason. I can handle my parents, no problem. ^^, My mask is not really, a mask protecting my face like a shell or gate, more like a wall that only a few people who understand at the least, can even simply, "walk past". Kind of like, "inside, outside", you know those sayings, right [?], type things. I'm not too broken inside, though, I thought of some weird stuff to do to always remember and I had a dream one time, that I was talking to my best friend, aka my other side of the mirror, since we're like so close and alike in all ways, I had a dream where I told her about all this stuff. I was like a nightmare sort of or a creepy dramatic scene with Aruma in Kare Kano or something... If you seen that anime and those scenes, then 'nuff said. ^^, But yeah, no worries, Wolf, as we all have this inside of us. My level of breaking it, seems high, but I can conquer it with help of my friends. Just smile and live on with life. Stress and stuff, is only a temporary time period in ones life, and although it does come back here and there, you should know it and just.. . live with it, I guess. ^^, *throws water balloon at Wolf* Cheer up, foo~ *peace sign gesture*
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-04 22:18:20 (edited 2007-02-04 22:18:52)
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*sigh* for a very stupid reason, my child is being ripped from my arms. (my computer) for a month. D: i don't know how i'll survive. (i guess maybe i'll sneak on at school) anyways, so long fellas. darn, and i just made a new avvy and siggy too. D: oh the pain!  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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it's almost valentine and i dont have a "valentina" TT___TT   "those who wonder...are not lost" |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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yea, i dont have one either....oh well, i don't really think that it is that big of a deal...its a silly holiday anyways...it kinda died for me when i stopped getting cards and little candy hearts on em (mmmmcany=dy hearts....*drools*) thanks guys...for everything!  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-05 11:31:41 (edited 2007-02-05 11:32:08)
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Jed your not exactly alone there. Valentine's day is a really bad day for me for that reason as well as another which I don't have time to tell right now. Maybe later. Bad experience.    |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-05 14:12:27 |
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Valentine people, everyone has someone on valentine's, themselves. Even if you have no permanent relationships you can still enjoy your own company. This may sound stupid, but which would you rather do: be happy or be sad. Plus you never know, just keep looking on to tomorrow. So what if you don't get anything for Valentine's or have anyone to give something to, you will undoubtedly have many years in which you will have both. The trick is looking forward to the next day. If for some reason you can't do that, live for that day. Wake up and pick someone's name out of a hat, or out of your own head, and give that person something. Take the time out of your life and give it to that person. Nothing feels better than knowing that somewhere someone is smiling because of something you did. Wolf, don't look at everything as a setback. Sometimes things can be more helpful than you would first expect. I'm not saying that everything has a purpose, but things do happen that if they hadn't things would have ended worse. Not everything that happens is bad, it may seem it a first but that doesn't mean it has to stay that way. For example: if your girlfriend were to dump you sure you'd be single but what if you met the woman of your dreams after wards. You may never have met her if you would have still had your old girlfriend, and chances are that relationship wouldn't have worked out. In that case the seemingly bad event led to a better ending. DAngel, somehow after I saw you in the chat I knew you'd come here. It's been too long, welcome back. anywho... Don't be afraid to open up to people, sometimes it's the best thing you can do. Masks are great for hiding yourself and also protecting others from the burden of knowledge. The thing about masks is they're great to wear to parties where people don't necessarily need to know everything about you, but you shouldn't wear one everywhere. If you do you'll end up seeming monotonous and lacking in personality. Yet perhaps the worst side effect is that wearing this mask doesn't let you see you for what you are. You always see yourself in the mask, and never without. You get used to you that way so you never take it off, and you begin to forget who you are. When that happens you can never stand on your own, you constantly need to fall back onto that mask for support. The thing is that mask is a lie, it's that simple. You are using a lie to build yourself upon. Lies are rarely sturdy and often are wrought with contradictions and weak points. In building yourself upon this you are setting yourself up to have your bas kicked out from under you. The best thing that you can do is bear your soul, and knock this base out now. It will bring you down a bit, but if you don't there's going to be a lot more of you to fall down. Also the chances of recovering from it after too long are slim. It will hurt for a while, but ultimately throwing down that mask and remembering who you are will rebuild that base and make it easier to stand than ever before. That and if everything works out you can have someone else to help support you. Even the slightest support from someone can remove a substantial burden from yourself. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-05 14:23:21 |
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"Even if you have no permanent relationships you can still enjoy your own company" That I can't do. I annoy myself greatly.^^; Anyway, guess I'll share my little story then now that I have time. Happened on Valentine's back a few years ago. Our school did this thing where they sold candy/bar things with Valentine's cards for a dollar or two and then they were handed out on the 14th. I got the courage (Or had a lapse of sanity for a minute) and bought one for a girl I liked in my class. When it was handed out she didn't really say anything and never actually had any of the candy things. Gave it to her friends and they shared it out. I was made fun of for a month or two after that, not the kind of 'guys joking around' kind of making fun, the serious kind. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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I'll never understand why people get worked up over this little holiday. If you're really lonely then you'll feel it all year round. Or is it that the spirit of the season draws out all those insecurities in people? Though I am a complete hypocrit in what I'm about to say I still believe it is valuable advice. DNinja said it right by saying you shouldn't worry yourself over opening yourself up to a person you have hopes of starting a relationship with. To be afraid of the consequences is to throw up the white flag before the competition has even started. I understand not everyone can be confident in themselves but even if you get shot down there's always tommorrow. It's the ups and downs that let you know you're alive. As far as my little fiasco I can't overcome the limits of text over the internet. I write as though I am speaking at the time and it's hard to decipher tone in written word. I'm big on that so I'm sorry if there is confusion between what I may say sarcastically or metaphorically because it all turns out the same on our lovely white text. I'm really quite alright, my problem is that whenever I begin to feel good a little switch goes off in my head and I try to ride it out until the wheels fall off. Maybe that's a little childish and irresponsible? You bet your ass it is, but relating it to the above topic atleast I'm not throwing in the towel before I even begin. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-06 03:50:28 |
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ahh....i'm back cant catch up with u guys for a while.got lots of homework to wolf: its hard to make someone to understand but they'll understand it later.sometimes,we have to work hard to make them understand what we feel. ahhh..valentines day..i hate that day and this year,i dont have any valentines.i'm going to study over,over and over again.i was hoping but nobody is going to accompany me.what can i do is seeing my bestfriend celebrate it with his lover. other people celebrate it with their lovers but i'm not.its going to be a tiring day since i'm a prefect at my school.anyway,happy valentines day,everyone! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2007-02-06 14:02:57 |
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Feeling kind of depressed now after getting the news about Chiro. She had just joined the DA RP too and was quite good at it. I miss her even though I didn't know her well, never got the chance. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Hi there... Just new here... What's happenin'?... Just here to help out on people who have probs... Even though I have some which really needs fixin'... Yet still i don't 'cuz I'm still too damned to be reparin' it... :D
Oh yeah the great
1337 |30'/!!! |