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Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by darktokiro on 2011-04-16 11:47:52 (edited 2011-04-22 12:33:58)

The Guardians:The start Chapter 1 (Setting, Second World,Japan,Tokyo,Time 3:00am) Tokiro: (Why do I keep getting up so late at night...well i guess it has something to do with my brother its been 3 years since he vanished...whatever im goin back to sleep.) Next day (Alarm goes off) Tokiro: "Awwwww common you stupid thing turn off!! (throws the clock on the floor) Well i gess i better get ready for school. (Goes to the bathroom,comes out gets his ,,backpack,opens the door and goes to school.) (After School) Tokiro: (Walks out of the school) (Notice a woman on a motocycle) Student(girl): ( To the strange woman) "Tokiro...Yea his that kid...I know him his in my gym class oh there his is over there."(Points to Tokiro) Strange Woman: "Hi...Tokiro right?" Tokiro:"Yea thats me." Strange Woman: "My name is Hakary Yuka, Your bother send me to find u to see if u were..." Tokiro: " My brother!! Were is he!?" Hakary: "Come down his ok... I think ... anyways he send me to make sure u were ok plus i need to train u..." Tokiro: "Train me for what!?" Hakary: " Come down.. (Why did he send me,of all people why me...?) You have to train to get your abilities going... Let me explain, Look at your right arm ... It has a blood seal." Tokiro: "A blood...seal?" Hakary: "Yes, Seals are strong forms of energy that your body picks up from some where, an energy explosion or some strong energy that hit you when u were a baby." Tokiro: .... Hakary: "The energy that hit you was so strong it could not mix with your normal flow of energy making the energy rise up to your skin." Tokiro: "So does anyone else have a blood seal?" Hakary: "No" Tokiro: "Wait doesn't that means that your never seen a blood seal and how do you know what the seal name is?" Hakary: "Your big brother named it when you were little you almost killed him. It control negative energy and it boost the negative energy effect and power. You won't be able to fully use it if you don't become a reader." Tokiro: "A...what?" Hakary: "I will explain everything but lets go o your place" Tokiro: "So we can talk privately...Right?" Hakary: "Yea... and i also need a place to stay for a while hehe ^_^; " Tokiro: -_-'" ... Later in Tokiro's house Hakary: "Wow nice place, anyways lets get to the point." (Hakary explain everything about the elementals to the creamers about this world and the other.) Tokiro: " What about my brother?" Hakary: "Well i don't know were he went he told me to train you then he left." Tokiro: "Here your bed is ready." Hakary:"Oh thanks" Hakary: " Hey Toki don't try anything when im sleeping. ^_^ " Tokiro: "... x_x' " End Of Chapter 1 Chapter 2 (Morning) Tokiro: (yawns) "Huh...Im late...dang it." Hakary: "Mornig toki,today training starts,so what are you goin to make...Im soo hungry." Tokiro: "Training,but i have to go to my school." Hakary: Oh righ i have to go to my job...hmmm well can you make something to eat?" Tokiro: "Sure" (After eating) Tokiro: "hope your self to anything when you get here" Hakary: "See ya Toki." ^_^ Tokiro:"Bye" (Walking to school Tokiro thinking if she was telling the truth.) Tokiro: (Hmm...really if that is all truth why has nothing wierd ever happend in this city and i don't remember attacking my brother...)"This is to much to take in..." Tokiro:(Gets to school doesn't pay attention to anything or anyone, gets to class and screams) " WHAT ARE YOU DOIN HERE!?" Hakary: "My job duh,anyways what are you doing here?" Tokiro: "This is my class." (The bells ring) Hakary: "Morning class I am Mrs.Yuka im your sub teacher for today and....." (An explosion is heard,people screaming and running out of the classroom) Hakary: "Tokiro traning has ...BEGAN!!" Tokiro: "Wait what!!?" (Hakary grabs Tokiro by his hand and pulls him out of the classroom runing and the walls hitting Tokiro in the face,they get out side.) Tokiro: AAAAHHH YOUR NUTS WOMAN!!? Hakary: "Ok get ready." Tokiro: "Ready for whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!" (Hakary throws Tokiro and Tokiro spins in the air and hits a giant serpent and lands on top of it.) Tokiro: "What do i do!!?" Hakary:"Thats a genma" Tokiro: "That thing use to be a human!!?" Hakry: "Tokiro close your eyes think of a spining energy in your stomach rising up and coming out of your hands and entering any element around you then use it to attack the snake!!" (Tokiro closes his eyes and picture his energy rising up getting inside of the air and screams...) Tokiro: "Here I go!!! Air blast...Nothing is happening!!!" (The snake hits him with his tale and he falls...Hakary catches him.) Hakary: "Ok this has gone long enough! and what the hell is an air blast?''(I think that this was a bit too much for him -_-'). (Hakary gets Tokiro on the floor were his safe and vanishes, people saw a shadow passing by the snake then the snake gives off a scream...The snake falls in half and vanishes in the air.)(Hakary falling from the sky slowly into the ground.) Hakary: "Well that wasen't a challenge well time to get started on his training"(Hakary looks a him with mysterious eyes) End of Chapter 2 Chapter 3 (Tokiro wakes up) Tokiro: (with bad vision) "What happend?...Were am I? Ah my arm!" Hakary: "Were in the broken dimention you hurt your arm when you were hit by the genma." Tokiro: "Broken dimention? what is that? and why its it so dark no light or FLOOR!" Hakary: "Comedown your here to train and to activate your energy i think your brother sealed them...(What a pain...)So this is a dimention a created to train myself but since i have to train you i desited this is yours and mine training dimention." Tokiro: "Ok but what about the people that know me? Woulden't they notice im gone?" Hakary"No i made clones to take the places of you guys and any time that you go back all the memories of that clone will go into you so you will know whats goin on." Tokiro: "By the way what do you mean you guys?" (A shadow figure appears next to Tokiro) ????: "You really thought you were going to leave me all alone huh!?" Tokiro: "No way Yukie!?" Yukie: (Hits Tokiro in the arm) Tokiro:"Ouch!! What was that for!?" Hakary: "You know her? She followed us and heard everything so i had to take her with us." Hakary:(She seems to pick up some energy too wats it from the blast tokiro's brother made that also hit tokiro?) (In the backround at the same time hakary was thinking. Tokiro: "Why did you came here!?" Yukie: "I was brought here you bum head!") Hakary: " Ok comedown trainig has began but first tokiro come here." (Hakary Grabs Tokiro) Hakary: (Does a wierd hand spell) "Destroy the seal of the million suns!!" (Hakary punches Tokiro in the arm) Tokiro: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Hakary: "Don't be a cry baby thats nothing." Yukie: "O.O your not going to do that to me too right!? *_*' " Hakary: " No you don't have your energy seal in. you see Toki's brother seal his energy so he dosen't go crazy when he realeses it" Tokiro: "What happens now?" Yukie:"Wait she will tell us soon enough." Tokiro: "Yukie didin't ask you!" Yukie"Don't Call me Yukie why do you even call me that!?(Punshes Tokiro in the face)" Tokiro: "Because I feels like it"( In a low voice) plus it was the nickname i gave you for your present when i counden't get you anything" Yukie: ...( Thats right I forgot all about that) '...Im sorry but..Can you call me by my real name please?" Tokiro: "No!" Yukie: " Ok have it your way Takun haha" Tokiro: " -_-' ok what ever Rikku just don't call me that..." Rikku: "Deal" Hakary: "Ok if you two are finish lets get started" End of chapter three

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-04-22 07:05:16

@Toki: lol, the intro was a little confusing, but I couldn't wait to read it, it sounded really interesting! You've made a good start on your first 3 chapters too! Apart from a recurring spelling error (dimension, I think you meant instead of dimention) I think the story is brilliant! Btw: when you said "First off the story focus on this world and the second world which is made of smaller worlds", so is Earth part of the Second World? And could you describe a little more about the 1st and 3rd worlds please? @Doomlight: what are VTOLs? Some sort of aircraft? I'm not sure how I feel about army novels yet, but we'll see how it goes :) they just usually really confuse me ^^; @Tsuna: lol "PHAILED" xD your story is seriously funny lol, can't wait for the next chapter!! @Alice: Welcome!!! I'm Mokona, love your siggies btw! :D Xx

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by darktokiro on 2011-04-22 12:33:33 (edited 2011-04-26 16:06:06)

The guardians:The start Chapter 4 Hakary: Ok now you two sit down ....*they sit* Now i need you to think of nothing at all and then when you hear or see anything tell me,now close your eyes think of nothing like i said before think of nothing at all...(this is goin to be a while) *while hakary observes the two of them rikku and Tokiro,Tokiro opens his eyes* Tokiro: Nothings happening.... Hakary: Shut up and focus!!! *Tokiro closes his eyes again and then all of the sudden...* Tokiro: (what is this were am i?) Hakary: (I think he fouded ... he founded his dimention) *Tokiro is in a place pure white in the backround and a cherry blosssom tree it seems to be in the middle area of the place* Tokiro: Wha...? this is so weird i feel better like i was been healed i feel like my body can never give out i don't feel hugry or anything here were am I? *Then he hears a voice* Rikku: Toki hey toki!!! Tokiro: OH yukie how didi you get in here? Rikku: I don't know i just did what hakary said anyways what its this ....? Hakary: Seems like they are in their dimentions(soul) Im goin in i think ill go to Tokiro's dimmention first. *Hakary closes her eyes* Hakary: Rikku wat r you doin here in tokiro's soul? Rikku: This is tokiro's soul? Hakary: u were able to enter this... Hakary: OK training done for today but first Your abilities rikku are based on bending space meaning you can teleport were ever you want and thru dimmentions easly and also you can control light. Rikku: OH cool ^^. Hakary: Ya but you can only use it when you become a reader. Tokiro: What about me!? Hakary: You seem to be able to control time and dark energy but like a said you need to become a reader.Now lets work on your elemental abilities ok now that we are here tokiro think of your hand on fire but that it doesn't burn. *tokiro does what his told and his hand burst on fire* Tokiro: o.O woah hopw come this doesn't hurt? Hakary: while your in your soul or dimention you can think about anything and it will come true so its really useful because you can train here with enemies you think off and you can also change anything you want here now rikku can't change anything because its your dimention not hers but me im more skilled and can change a few things now tokiro you need to be careful because if i hit you here when you leave your dimention its still goin to hurt so anything that happens here happens for real but you can also become better at controling abilities by coming here to train now here. *Hakary claps her hand one time and makes three clone of her self* Hakary: fight them for three hours and ill be back when the three hours are done good luck. Rikku: Ok what do i do? Hakary: Come with me. *Hakary grabs Rikku by her hand and says "Lets go see your dimention." * End of Chapter Four @Mokona4: Yo my bad for typos yea its dimention but i have to write fast cuz im usually busy so im sorry.The 1 world its heaven or the spirit world its mostly that,the second world its made of different smaller worlds which are known on earth as songs,shows ect. Earth use to be part of the second world but because that world focus on what was real it seperated and became the third world the fourth world its hell as some of you know it and sorry if i confused you ^_^; In all of the worlds reality its what they think is real and because of that its why they are in their own world but earth thought that reality was reality not really what they thought reality was. <- its just little hard to explain but if you have any more questions ill post the and again im sorry ^_^; @everyone sorry for the two signature ^_^'

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-04-24 01:47:02

Here I am again posting another chapter for my extremely stupid clan series. I believe this is what they call crack on fanfiction sites. Crackity crack crack. Next chapter shall be on streaking. The Chronicles of the Gendou REBORN! Clan – Chapter 2 – Who’s The Son? Hello again, reader. Welcome again to yet another chapter of the chronicles. This chapter will be about romance, mystery and family. Please continue reading… Genres: Romance, mystery and family Characters: Cam (Camille), Taro (Kotaro), Crome and Tsuna (Me) Summary: Taro, Crome and Tsuna were hanging out in chat one day when suddenly Cam popped in. As she had been missing for quite a while, we all asked her where she was. She then replied, “Oh, I’ve been looking after your son Crome.” The story as follows… One day, Crome, Tsuna and Taro were hanging out in chat. Suddenly, Cam logged in. Crome and Tsuna were quite happy to see Cam, as she hadn’t been in chat for some time (or anywhere online, for that matter). She had then replied: “Oh, I’ve been looking after your son Crome.” Cue epic gasp. And once again, all hell broke loose. “YOU HAVE A SON CROME?!” Tsuna shrieked in amazement and… dismay. “I have a son?!” Crome had pulled out the /omg emote. “My son has a son?!” Taro howled, with an expression that said “I’m gonna rip out your intestines and feed them to the dogs!” “Yes he does.” Cam replied calmly. “Since when?” Tsuna gasped. “Yeah, since when?” Crome echoed. “Don’t you remember Crome? That day…” Cam’s voice trailed off mysteriously. Tsuna then asked Cam who was the son. Cam only replied that she was the nursemaid and that the one Tsuna should be asking was Crome. Taro shouted “WHO’S THE WOMAN WHO RAPED YOU?!” “I’m innocent O_O!” Crome shouted back, flapping his arms in synchronization with the /omg emote in an attempt to fly away from the mess. Desperately, Tsuna asked Cam one more time “Cam, do you know who the woman is?” Taro once again pulled out the expression and said, “THAT’S WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.” Cam replied, “I don’t know Auntie. Ask Crome.” “Crome?” Tsuna asked warily. Jeebus, this whole thing is screwed she thought. “I really don’t know anything! I’m innocent! You’ve gotta believe me boss!” Crome squeaked, cowering in a corner. “First off, don’t call me boss, and second off, how can you not know who the woman or the son is? If Cam says so…” Tsuna’s voice trailed off uncertainly. “I really don’t know anything!” Crome squeaked before logging off. “…” Tsuna mentally sweat-dropped once again. (Notice how I’m always sweat-dropping) Eventually, Tsuna shook her head and went back to reading manga, in an attempt to get back some of her sanity. A few days later, Tsuna related half of this story to Worm, who once again kept loling. So… how was it? Too whacked? Too fast? Too draggy? Too short? Reviews, reviews :3. P.S.: @Mokona and Komaro thankies :3.

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-04-27 09:53:04

Tsuna: Hi again, first off, well done on another chapter which had me smiling all the way through lol :) Erm, just as a personal preference maybe you could include more about how Crome, Tsuna (you), Taro (<- name of a food I like btw) and Cam know each other? But otherwise very good but way too short! >< Toki: Oh, I totally get the worlds thing now lol, I really like how Tokiro and Rikku have discovered these new abilities now and I like where the story is going :) Xx

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-05-03 20:13:07

"'WHO’S THE WOMAN WHO RAPED YOU?!”'" I'll get back to that in a sec. xD @inaby: Welcome to the club. =3 @Toki: The story definitely has potential. There are a lot of typoes though. Aside from that, it seems to be progressing well. @Tsuna: “WHO’S THE WOMAN WHO RAPED YOU?!” was the first thing I saw while scrolling like crazy to the bottom of this page. xD Still insanely amusing, which is definitely a good thing. xD

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by Matsuna on 2011-05-07 08:50:05

Gosh! It's been about 5 months since I last continue my story. Some people thought I'm not coming back to this club. I was actually busy with some stuff for the last 4 months. I'm in Malaysia now. Will be going back to London next week. 'Ahem' Continue my story. Yuka began listening to the radio for about 15 minutes while reading her book. After that, she walked quickly to the toilet before the air hostess bring the food to her in about 20 minutes. What she didn't know that she's in the toilet longer than she thought, because she has a stomachache. She thought to herself, 'I didn't expect that I have a bad stomach ache until now. Is it because I ate too much, the sandwich filling was bad or am I starting my period?' She kept her wondering about it for 5 minutes while in the toilet. Last time Yuka had her period was a couple of weeks ago, so it could be either the sandwich filling or she ate too much at the airport. In her hand luggage, she brought some sanitary towels with her in case it starts. She also brought extra ST and about 2 to 3 boxes of tampons in her suitcase. She was glad that her suitcase was not over 20KG. After 15 minutes, she felt good after she went to the toilet. She got off the loo, watched her hands with soap, then went back to the seat and continue reading her book and listening to the radio. At about 10:30pm, the air hostess gave Yuka a vegetarian meal. During her teenager days, Yuka didn't like the plane food while travelling around by plane with her friends and family. She has no idea why she dislike it. I think because the food on the plane doesn't taste nice. She always prefer the food in the country itself than the plane food. Although Yuka ate a sandwich with the crisps and a bottle of water, she started to eat the food as much as possible.

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by darktokiro on 2011-05-09 15:27:46 (edited 2011-06-22 08:52:47)

@Everyone Enjoy! Chapter 5 Hakary's Clones:"Yea what's up with you your all beat up" *Tokiro throws a punch at the clone* Tokiro: "AAAAAAAH!" Clones "Miss" :p Tokiro: (Dang it why do i keep missing they are so fast plus i think there not even trying what should i do...) Clones"Come on its that all !?" *Setting changes to a place where theres red circles on the sky and theres nothing but dirt on the floor.* Hakary:"This is your dimension. Rikku:"Wow this place is not as great as I thought it would be." Hakary:"Your dimension is your soul and heart its base in what you want the most." Rikku:"I can see thru the circles they seem to be other places." Hakary:"does are portals to other dimensions." Rikku: So what does that mean why is my dimension all a big nothing and i can see other dimensions?" Hakary:"Well seems like what you want is to see what other people are feeling and you don't care about your own self, thats why its all nothing in here." Rikku: *sighs* So i see.. Hakary: " Your dimension can change if you change. But this dimension mean you want to take care of others." Rikku: "... Hakary: "Well here" *she makes three clones* " Fight with them for three hours." Rikku:"Wait what !?" Hakary: Bye~ *she vanishes* Rikku: ..."crap" *Back to Tokiro his half beat up and hasen't hurt the clones* Tokiro: "Urg" Clones: "Hahaha" Tokiro: "Dang you" *Someone appears behind the clones* ????: "Let go of him" Clones: "heh!" *They drop Tokiro on the floor* ????: * Runs up to the clones and the clones turn into mist* "What the?" *Tokiro faints and the setting changes to the dark dimension were Hakary took Rikku and Tokiro* Hakary: *opens her eyes and stands up* "Heh so thats his power." *Setting changes to Rikku's dimension* Rikku: *faints* * Someone appears in front of the clones and takes them out* *Setting to Hakary again* Hakary: "Oh so thats hers." To be continued... in the next chapter.

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-06-12 21:40:27

Sorry guys, i've been busy. I'll update this as soon as I can. ~Doomlight http://i34.tinypic.com/33pad0k.jpg

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by clannadkanon on 2011-07-02 20:43:23

Hi to all members! May I join this club? I really have my eyes on writing a story for a long time... And I would just like to ask if this isn't restricted to just short stories? Maybe even long ones? Thank you!

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-07-03 00:45:01

@All- sorry guys for not posting... busy much... a teaser of one of my projects Gilmoire of Alice: Memories of Uncertain A white haired girl that was standing at the middle of the lake, she has a white complexion she looked at me, her blueish cyan eyes *-*-* “WAIT!!!” But she did not hear me and with a blink of the eye the girl dissolved from the background as if she was being absorbed by the scenery, I was stunned for a moment for what just I had witnessed *-*-* I saw something *-*-* Without any hesitation I ran Then on the deep part of the forest I saw a huge mansion, on its look it somehow abandoned due to the vines that however the the surroundings were a bit cleaned *-*-* She became submissive, she surrendered herself to a some plight, she closed her eyes, I can see tears flowing from it *-*-* “I am sorry for following you, I don't have any intention to hurt you” *-*-* *-*-* “May I know your name?” The girl did not reply, however she took my hand and traced letters, I realized what those letters mean, it was very simple, a very common one “Alice?” The girl just nodded, she smiled at me without any question, her eyes really shone, truly admirable one could really thought of stealing them, they were like priceless gems that one could keep and give value *-*-* “ ” “Gilmoire of Alice...” I opened the book and it was full of letters, I realized it was a diary; however I immediately closed it because it was a girl's matter and I don't *-*-* *-*-* “ALICE!!!!” With one full swing I slice the intruder's body in half, without any wasting second I reacted and attacked the rest, yes it was a bloody and vomiting moment that no one could bear But with no regrets... For the sake of Alice... For the girl of utmost purity... For the girl who became my princess The room transformed into a slaughter room, screams filled the room, the internal organs scattered, blood covered the floor and walls, mutilated body parts on random places, the place was indescribable, one could shout all foul words that the world could think of However I did not care, for I don't want them to make her suffer furthermore *-*-* I looked at Alice, I can see her torn up dress but But inside I trembled because she witnessed the one that I kept, yes I am one of those “devils” that she hate, the ones who put her into misery, the one who took away everything that she really hold, the thoughts of being killed by her begun to spin however it does not have a big deal because I am one of “them”, I closed my eyes and tried mo turned around, however without any hesitation or sign of hate or grudge, she walked forward and embraced me, she cried badly, personally I don't know what was that for, however I believe that for both of us, she saw how the dark desires threatened her innocence, I released the “demon” inside of me and witnessing the two sides of reality *-*-* I carried her and returned to the mansion, I took care of her needs, I carefully *-*-* She embraced me, something that was too sudden The pain from her body was unbearable I took my coat and covered her white delicate body and carried to a shaded place under a big tree, *-*-* I embraced her with all of my might, but the truth is I embraced her because I love her, the girl that who given me the light inside my dark world, despite of her imperfectness, she is the perfect and the only princess that I truly treasure, then I heard from her heart, the words that will forever give me the reason to live “I... Love... You...” With those broken words was heard, she embraced me back tightly and with our last breath we hold on as the flames devour everything, in our final plight, with all of my strength, I carried her and dashed towards the flames, nothing in mind but in our chosen fate, whether we die in this burning mansion or we live in this unjust world, it does not matter anymore, the important thing is that we are together She hugged me tightly as the burning debris fall around us, I could feel her heart beat was shouting with loss and despair, she wanted to live despite of her tragic fate But I did not lose hope, I believe because I want to believe... nothing more, nothing less *-*-* Black flames was circling around me, everything that near to me went decayed and turned into ashes, the people stood around us, they are prepared to attack us “Die children of darkness!!!” *-*-* One dared to attack us but, before he could draw near, his body begun to decompose and turned into ash, during its demise we could hear it scream and panicked, he wanted to return and ask to spare his soul however its plight cannot be undone, we witnessed his decomposing body until its remains was no more, they dropped their torches and weapons in fear, it was a moment of deafening silence “How pathetic isn't it?” *-*-* “If you care for your well being, may I ask that leave this place and forbid yourselves to enter this place, our realm, for this is the testament of our chosen path and the cruelty of humanity” -->

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-07-03 09:17:40

@ clannadkanon- I'm pretty sure it's fine if you want write longer stories and post them here. Also, welcome to the club!

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-07-04 04:28:29

Hello everyone I 'd like to join this club heres a small (well whast I think is small) taster of my writing let me know if you have any critism or corrections... also this story continues so let me know if you like it :3 [Train] It is a dark night. Riko is a former college student. He is sitting on a train going to a small town called Shale. The train has only two people on it. Riko is looking out the window. (Riko): "My name is Riko. My parents were killed in an accident 2 months ago that made me drop out of college. I have a little brother named 'Hugo'. I'm raising him because we've no close family. We lost the house to debts after my parents died so we're homeless" The train comes to a halt. Riko gets up and takes his rug sack. He then exits the train. (Riko) [While walking]: "Will things get better [Looks upward at the sky] I hope so!" INTRO [Shale] Riko walks into the town and looks at the town clock. He then looks downward at a fountain and sees Hugo sitting on it. (Riko): "Hugo is only eight but acts like a teenager. I worry about him all the time, what he might do if I'm not around" Riko walks up to Hugo Riko: "Sorry I'm late, you ready to go?" Hugo stands up and grabs his bag Hugo: "Yeah" The two start walking (Riko): "Hugo doesn't say much and rarely shows interest in anything, this can't be the life of a child" Riko and Hugo come to a Mansion with an old tower. The mansion is a converted Doctors Surgery and the tower is vacant and is currently Riko and Hugo's living area. The two creep around to the back to the tower. Riko: "Keep it down!" The two sneak into the tower. The door squeaks when it's opened. They walk up the stairs to the room at the top. [Tower / Shale, Co. Dublin] Riko and Hugo are eating food. Hugo gets up and walks over to the trap door leading to the roof. He's thinking, when Riko asks him; Riko: "What's wrong?" Hugo: "It-s ... s ...not fair" (Riko): "This again! The deaths are the only thing he talks about now" Hugo: "Bad things-?" Riko: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Hugo: "Yeah" Riko: "Things happen because they happen" Hugo: "No!" Riko (While munching): "Believe what you want.... (He swallows)...but you're not a bad person" Hugo: "I am" Riko: "I'm sick of your complaints just shut it!" After a long pause Hugo says; Hugo: "I'm going to sleep goodnight" Hugo climbs into his sleeping bag (Riko): "I would have said sorry but I wasn't! I had enough of Hugo, spending all my time isolated with him was getting to my head I had to do something or else I may end up taking it all out on him" [Dream, School Hallway] Riko is dreaming about his secondary school. He is talking to his friends when a student is tripped. Everyone looks and laughs. The student struggles and gets up with a gun. Everyone begins screaming and running for the exit. The student fires the gun. [Present] Riko wakes up panting, he looks around [Roof of the Tower] Riko has walked up to the top of the tower using a ladder and he's looking out at the town (Riko) "If something bad happens something good happens after" Riko: "...Or" (Riko) "Karma, why do I have such bad luck? Maybe Hugo is right" [The next day] Riko: "Come on hurry up" Hugo: "..... ...." The two walk down the stairs and onto the street sneaking so they aren't noticed by the owner Riko: "Damn!" Riko looks at his watch Riko: "I'm gonna miss the train can you get to the school on your own??" Hugo: "Ok" Riko begins walking, looking back he says; Riko: "Be careful Ok?" Hugo: "Ok" [Riko's workplace] Riko is cleaning floors when the manager calls Riko into his office Manager: "Riko!" Riko: "Yes sir!" Manager: "Can I see you in my office for a minute?" [Managers Office] Riko: "Yes?" Manager: "Riko ... sit down" Riko sits down Manager: "Riko, I was going to promote you this morning ... Riko: "Huh?" Manager: "But after looking over your records" He sits up in his chair takes a deep breath, Riko begins to look nervous "It turns out you have an 8 year old brother and you both have lost your parentless" Riko's eyes widen. Manager’s secretary comes into the office. Riko turns around instantly Riko: "!!!!" Secretary: "Sir, The Social Worker is here" (Riko): "Social Worker!?" Manager: "Hold on a minute, Riko listen to me I want to help you. I'm doing what's best for him" Riko: "You... You can't even tell me his name" Manager: "I..!" Riko: "It's Hugo and I'm never going to let you take him away because he's not your only family" The Manager gets up and walks out Riko: "Social Worker what'll I ... ....do???" Riko looks at the manager talking to the social worker, Riko stands up (Riko): "Here! I'm running for it" Riko cautiously opens the door, shuts it behind him and walks down the hall Manager: "Riko No! ... Stop" Riko begins running. The manager runs after Riko. Riko runs into the elevator, before the elevator goes down. The manager runs down the stairs. Riko: "My locker" Riko gets off at the second floor he runs to empty his locker into his bag. He runs to the main entrance where a man shouts his name. He runs out of the door and out onto the street. [On the train] (Riko): "I couldn't care less that I’ve lost my job with so many bad things happening (sigh)" Riko takes out his bag and looks at the things from his locker. He finds an old picture of him and his parents. Riko: "It’s not fair!!" People on the train start looking at Riko. He throws the picture back into his bag. [Shale] Hugo is sitting on the fountain again Riko: "Hey!" Hugo: "Your back early-" Riko: "Lets go" They get to the mansion and tower but this time the tower door is locked (Riko): "It's locked I can't tell Hugo" Riko: "How about we go eat first?" Hugo (Surprised): "Eat?" Riko: "Yeah! Why not" (Riko): "I think I have enough money" Riko and Hugo go to a restaurant [Restaurant] Waiter: "Alright I'll be back in a minute" Hugo: "How are you paying for this?" Riko: "With money" Hugo: "....." There's a short pause then Riko asks; Riko: "I get into town at 5, yeah? You get off school at 3. What do you do for them 2 hours??" Hugo: "I sit on that fountain" Riko: "Why?" Hugo: "There's nowhere else to go or anything else to do" Riko: ".... .." Waiter comes back Waiter: "Here are your drinks” Hugo: "Thanks" Riko looks at Hugo Riko: "Maybe adoption wouldn’t be the worst idea" [Outside the Restaurant] Hugo and Riko are about to start walking to the tower, it's cold and dark so Riko looks for the flashlight in his bag. Hugo: "You lost your job again" Riko: "Ugh? What?" Hugo: "Your wearing your uniform under your clothes" Riko: "I just forgot to take them off" Hugo: "No! You lost your job again. You said things would get better" Riko: "They... Will" Hugo: "If I'm around they won't" Riko: "Don't say that" It begins to rain, Riko walks ahead and turns back to says: Riko: "Come on!" Hugo: "This is my worst day ever!" Riko (Shouting): "Oh yeah, because you lost your job today didn't you? Hugo: "I hate you!" Riko: "Fine because I couldn't care less!" Hugo (Shouting): "I hate you!" Hugo runs off Riko: "Hugo get back here! ... Hugo! ... Hugo!" Riko runs after Hugo Hugo: "Stop following me" Riko: "Hugo ... I didn't mean that!" A man is walking his dog and see's Riko chasing Hugo Man: "Hey! Leave that kid alone!" Riko puts his hand out to grab him but Hugo falls onto the road in front of a car. Riko: "No!!!!" Hugo: "!!!!" The car swerves and the side of the car hits Hugo. Hugo crashes to the floor. The car speeds off. Riko falls to the floor in shock but quickly recovers and runs to Hugo's aid. Riko: "Shit! .... No Hugo! No I didn't mean it" Hugo: "I don't ... hate-" Riko: "Hugo" Riko drops his bag Riko: "Just ... Just hold on" Riko picks up Hugo and gets him on his back and begins running Riko: "The hospital ... I'll have to ... get the train into town but... It doesn't matter I ... I have to get him to ... a hospital" An old woman is walking down the street she sees Riko coming she calls out; Woman: "Oh my, what happened" Riko walks up to her Riko: "Help he was hit by a car. I need to get him to a hospital" Woman: "Oh Lord! There's a doctor in town Doctor Kenneth I'll show you it's this way" The woman leads Riko to the mansion Riko: "Thank you!" Woman: "I hope the boy will be alright" Riko: "Thank you" Riko runs to the door but the door is locked and a sign is on the door saying closed Riko: "No!" Riko bangs on the door but Hugo slips from his back and lands on the ground Riko: "Hugo!!" Riko spins round to help him when the door opens and a girl comes out Hannah: "What's going on out here?" Riko turns around toward her gasping Riko: "Help" Hannah: "Oh Jesus!" Riko: "Please he was hit by a car" [Inside] Hannah and Riko carry Hugo into the examining room and put him on the table. Dr. Kenneth walks in Dr. Kenneth: "What’s going on??" Hannah: "They were just standing outside the door. He was hit by a car" Dr. Kenneth takes a look at Hugo Dr. Kenneth: "Hmm how long has he been unconscious?" Riko: "About 10 minutes" Dr. Kenneth: "Thank you will you please wait outside" Riko: "Yes!" [In the waiting room] (Riko): "I can't stand waiting just waiting reminds me of-" [Flashback / Hospital] Riko is waiting in the waiting room anxiously a nurse walks in she looks very depressed she asks for Riko Riko: "Anytth-" The nurse turns and begins sobbing, Riko begins shaking her head Riko: "Egh... Ugh" Nurse: "Our medical staff tried everything they could but-“ Riko: "I .... I" Riko runs into the bathroom and begins throwing up [Doctors Office] Hannah: "Coffee?! She hands him a cup of coffee Riko: "Thanks" Hannah: "So you live in town?" Riko: "Yeah!" Hannah: "And what's your name?" Riko: "Riko" Hannah: "What a weird name oh sorry" Riko: "That's ok" Hannah: "So wait a minute I know you!" Riko: "(Gulp)" Hannah: "We go to the same class in Trinity! I haven't seen you around a lot" Riko: "That's because my parents died!" Hannah jumps and causes the table, she was leaning against, to rumble. The lamp on the table falls and breaks Hannah: "Oh no! Sorry" Riko: "It's my fault" Dr. Kenneth comes out Dr. Kenneth: "What happened?" Hannah: "Just an accident" Riko: "So?" Dr. Kenneth: "The collision knocked him to the ground he may have suffered some form of shock but nothing fatal" Riko(Sitting down): "Thank God" Hannah: "If your parents are gone does this mean your taking care of your brother" Riko: "Yeah but I'm not doing a very good job. It's because of me this happened. I could have got him killed" Dr. Kenneth: "Is there any family that would take him" Riko: "No! I'm also unemployed and homeless. If I kept Hugo than you might as well dig our graves" Dr. Kenneth: "Hugo? You have no where to go" Riko: "Well we've been living in your tower" Hannah: "What!?" Dr. Kenneth: "Hmm so that's your stuff I found today" Riko: "Yes and I'm sorry" Dr. Kenneth: "I've never been homeless so I wouldn't know... You can leave Hugo here with us!" Hannah: "!!" Riko: "I... I can’t! Can I?" Dr. Kenneth: "The choice is up to you you're free to stay the night to make up your decision" Riko: "There's no question Hugo deserves a better life" Hannah: "Dad you can't let him leave his brother" Dr. Kenneth: "This is Riko's decision" Riko: "I need to go" Dr. Kenneth: "I found your bags in my tower, here!" Riko: "Thanks" Dr. Kenneth: "Show Riko up to his room? I'll put Hugo in the spare room next to yours" Hannah: "Ok!" [Bedroom] Hannah: "Try and get some sleep" Riko: "I will thanks" Hannah: "Where will you go?" Riko: "Back to the city and I'll get a job" Hannah: "Please come back as soon as you can" Riko: "Please take care of my brother" Hannah: "I will" Riko and Hannah are standing beside each other at the door. Riko leans over to Hannah and she kisses him. She pulls away. Hannah: "I'm so sorry" Riko: "Me too" Hannah: "Well goodnight!" Riko: "Yeah goodnight" Riko closes the door and leans up against it (Riko): "Is Hugo going to stay here? He said he hated me, does he? Why should I care?" He lies down on the bed (Riko): "I haven't slept in a bed this comfortable since that time" [Next Morning] Riko is saying goodbye to Hugo. Hannah and Dr. Kenneth are listening from the door. Hannah: "We can't do this! We can't keep Hugo. This won't work!" Dr. Kenneth: "If it doesn't ... adoption!" Hannah: "No you-" Riko comes out the door Riko: "He'll stay with you" Dr. Kenneth: "Okay are you leaving?" Riko: "Yes! Thank you for everything" Riko begins walking down the stairs, Dr. Kenneth follows. Hannah: "Is Hugo not going to say goodbye" Riko: "No" Hannah and Dr. Kenneth say goodbye to Riko and he begins walking. Hannah goes up to Hugo's room. Hannah (Softly): "Hey why didn't you say goodbye to your brother?" Hugo: "He just left me here, I hate him!" TO BE CONTINUED...

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by darktokiro on 2011-07-21 07:30:29

Chapter 6 Tokiro: *opening his eyes looking at someone that was male Tall he looked to be 17 or 18 years old he had neko ears and he had a scar on one eye.* were am I? ????: Your still in your soul. Tokiro: Who are you? ????: You should know im part of you. Tokiro: huh? ????: Im your power source. Tokiro: I still don't get it.... ????: You'll find out. Tokiro: Whats your name? Rasenku: My name is Rasenku Tokiro: My name is Tok--- Rasenku: I know who you are. Tokiro: So what now I was told to fight does clones-- Rasenku: Yea i know im part of you i know everything you know. Tokiro: So what now? Rasenku: She is trying to give you my power but you can't handle it so leave and comeback when you can. *Rasenku leaves and Three figures shows up one seem to have neko ears and had a ninja mask that covers her nose and mouth she had dark blue hair and she seem to speak* ????: his a real pain right,so weird you saw him first your not even at the level of his power. Tokiro: Who are you guys? Mizu: Im Mizu *She points at the other figure That had blone spiky hair and seems to be smiling* Thats Rai and thats *She points at another guy with black hair and a black mask like hers but he was the only one who did not had neko ears* Thats isago he doesn't talk much. Tokiro: Ok nice to meet you all. Rai: Ok now we are going to start! Mizu: Indeed Isago: ... Tokiro: Hmmm what? *They take out swords out of nowere mizu was holding a blue sword Rai was holding a yellow sword and Isago was holding a light brown sword* Tokiro: Wait wait whats going on??? Mizu: Now!! *They ran to Tokiro and try to stab him* Tokiro:*he moves just in time but mizu then comes behind him and swing her sword tokiro keeps running and doesn't know what to do* Mizu: Show Us your power lets see if you can hadle us! Rai: *appears behind tokiro* Boo! Tokiro: Ah! * He manages to move out the way but then Isago comes from the top and swigns at tokiro* Mizu: (His never going to be able to use us if he keeps running) Rai: Here i come! hahaha *he runs to tokiro and swing right for tokiro's head* *Tokiro grabs Rai's sword* Tokiro: Now is my turn, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! *Tokiro brakes Rai's sword with his hand and punches him and sends him flying and Rai fall on the floor* Mizu: Now i come! Tokiro: grrr *hits mizu and she falls without being able to move* Isago: *Tries to get him from behind but fails* Mizu: *Stands up looking fine* Is that all you got? *They all run up to tokiro and stab him* Tokiro: (Dang it what now?) *he hears hakary's voice* Hakary: You need to agree with them. Tokiro: ( what?) *They stab Tokiro* Mizu:so do you agree to use us? Tokiro: ye..yes how come it doesn't hurt? Mizu: Because why would we hurt our master? Tokiro: *gives a small smile* Thank you. Mizu: *criying* No thank you for coming for us. To be continued.... Special 1 *Tokiro with a microphone in a studio with a giant tv on the back* Tokiro: Hello everyone and welcome to our first special Today we are going to speak to Gin from bleach. Gin: Hello there! Tokiro: So gin how did-- Gin: This use to be my studio before all the arrancars were killed T_T. Tokiro: Yes they sold it to me to make my little specials. *Gin drops to the floor* Gin: I want my studio back T_T Tokiro: -_-; why don't you stay here for a while. Gin: OK then ;) Hakary: tokiro I invited a few friends hope you don't mind... Tokiro: who did you invite? Ichigo: How the heck did i got here and were am I!? Tokiro: what the? Pablo: Hi Im pablo...or am I????? *puts tobi's mask on* Muahahahaha! Rikku: Weeeeeeeee Tokiro: Get off the tv Rikku!!! Al and Ed: PARTY!!! WOOT WOOT! Hakary: Oh the dj go here! Rikku: Now its a party!!! TM: Woot Woot! *Party starts* *lights start flashing Everyone starts dancing* Tokiro: -_-; is this even mine anymore...*walks out* Hakary: Ok gess ill take over. *leaves to another room* Well as you can see we are going to have a party so we will be busy and don't forget to follow "The Guardians: The Start" Bye for now! Tokiro: Anime can get out of hand sometimes @_@;

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by holkers on 2011-09-03 22:27:55

It's been so long since I've write anything. But this is the newest freestyle I've write through Facebook xDD Bed time stories with Uncle Holks :U Today, I shall tell you a story with a good moral value that you can teach and explain to your kids = w= ______________________________________________________________________________ Once upon a time. There was a dragon coming down to kill all the little dwarfs... One of the dwarfs, bluntly, decided to kill the dragon himself. He said, "The dragon scale is worth than our 10 gold bars! I shall take it and enjoy it for myself!" He then grab his dwarfen sword and shield and runs directly towards the dragon's face. He then scream his dwarfen battle cries. Once the dragon notice him.. The dragon started to do some playing games. The dragon waits for him to emerge more closer. The dwarf is 5 feet away reaching the dragon's nose when the dragon relax-ly blow fire through his nose at the dwarf. The dwarf is out drawn with black ashes around his body. The dragon smiled and lay his body down the ground and launch the dwarf with his nails back to where the dwarf was.. All of the dwarfs in that village saw what happened with a shocked. The dragon snorted and said, "Hahaha, c'mon! You all dwarfs could never beat me! You're so little and I'm big!. The oldest dwarf in the village then said, " CHALLENGE ACCEPTED." The oldest dwarf then grab his battle tools and stand in front of the battle line. The other dwarfs follow suit, even the dwarf's kids. The first burned dwarf wanted to join in, but his wife has pulled him into their house for a good treatment. Women dwarfs in the village, too, gets ready for herbs and other medical tools for their husband when they've defeated the dragon. The dragon saw this actions and gets his own battle stand and said, "You wanted me so bad eh? Then I shall not make this simple! D: Errm.. and so, the group of dwarfs then dispatch into 3 groups. Air-force, land-force and dirt-force. The dirt-force quickly dig 3 meters down infront of the battle line. While the land-force fire arrows and stones to the dragon. The dragon then taunt them by flying higher than the dwarfs could reach. BUT. The air-force group dwarfs quickly throw net over the dragon. The dragon was shocked as he had too focused on the land-force and dirt-force. The air-force dwarfs then pulls the dragon down to the ground. The dirt-force are still digging a tunnel through the dragon's belly. The dragon struggles to get free from the net. He tried to blew fire but the net doesn't caught fire. The dwarfs laughed and said "This net was crafted by our very own ancient wizard dwarfs! You could never lit a fire on it! And shall you not be escape!" The dragon grunted and tried as hard as he could to get free so he could kill all the dwarfs and let his bully fulled for a year. The dragon roars, "FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU When I do get out, you'll will be in my belly!" *grammar correction. Boohoo Holk* The land-force quickly take this chance to throw all their weapons to the dragon. The oldest dwarfs then said, "THROW AT HIS EYES!" And all the dwarfs aimed at the dragon's eyes. The dirt-force finally reached the bottom of the dragon's belly. They then dig a hole around the dragon 5 meters deep. The dragon's weight gives the dirt a dropped out and the dragon falls into the hole, 3 meters deep. The dirt-force quickly make their way down to the hole to give a few more meters deep. The air-force then locked down the net on the ground and the oldest dwarf quickly chanted a few words and the net is locked. Once the dirt-force completed their mission, they climbed back to the ground level. All of the dwarfs then cheered as their hard work have payed off. The dragon grunted loud and clear and blows out fire here and there in the hole. The net stays firm as where it is. The dwarfs handshake and give themselves a pat at the back and congrats to each other. The wives of the dwarfs were as happy as they can be and gave a big hug to their husband. The oldest dwarf then walks back to the burned dwarf and said, "When all powers and skills combine together, we can defeat the enemy himself. And share the victory together." The burned dwarf then apologizes for his stupid acts and will remember his lessons. The dwarfs community then share their prize that night with the joy and sounds of the dwarfs music and laughter, with everyone has their own dragon scale and tooth. The end :3 Hope you've enjoyed that! :D I claimed someone that I can't remember because photobucket is ended.

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by Love_Anime on 2011-10-17 12:23:09

~Marked Prince~ She ran faster and faster with a baby tightly against her chest; the ruby necklace gliding back and forth, the knights chasing her with swords and shields, screaming out “Give us the baby!!”. She hesitated a little bit but eventually kept on going. One of the knights threw a rock at her head trying to make her stop and as the rock impacted a wound upon her, the blood started to drip down her face onto her new born child. The mother ran faster and faster and suddenly lost the knights. She sat the baby aside trying to calm him down, wiping the blood away from his eyes. “My son, the true heir to Shamballa, shall not die in a place like this.” She said with anger in her voice. She grabbed the ruby necklace and clenched it between her fingers, “Even if he is destined to destroy the whole entire world, I will…” she started to cough as she was finishing her sentence. The blood ran down her lips to her hand. She looked to her child with a kind of sadness and depression and said “I shall protect you with my life, because you my son, are the prince of Shamballa, not to bring destruction to the world but to only bring happiness and joy to your people.” She wrapped the blanket around him tightly, placing him on the ground. “And with this restricted witch craft I shall bring you to a different era; a place were you can do actually that and become what you are destined to become.” She used her blood to make a circle around him, with unholy symbols. “The great witch of the north commands you gods to open a gate to the next life. And I shall in return give you everything I have left to offer, on this I agree to the everlasting contract!” She said so loudly that even the gods could here her. The knights came closer and closer by the minute shouting “She’s over here!” There were flashes of lights all around the baby and suddenly a door appeared before them. Several arms came out of the door that grabbed the baby, eyes looking down at the mother, teeth that were grinding back and forth with anticipation, and with this she determined that this was god. The mother looked up and said, “And if thou doesn’t keep thy word, may heaven hold me back from killing the gods themselves!.” Laughter came through the dark eerie door. And as the door began to close, the mother said something so terrible that even said in the witches covenant would be killed instantly. She said the words that took the last of her breath, “I Love You….” Chapter 1: The Confrontation Dear Diary, I had that dream again, the dream of the new born baby and his mother. It’s been happening ever since my 16th birthday. I have so many questions to ask them like, who they are, why am I dreaming about them, do they have anything to do with me? During the dream a door appears before them, and the woman calls it god, but I don’t promptly know how that’s possible because god is a loving human being who has a child named Jesus and that kind of religious stuff. My mother says “just don’t worry about it; dreams don’t have anything to deal with reality”. But I can’t help question her motive. A few years ago I found out I was adopted, so maybe it’s my real mother, but I doubt it. Talk to you later…. Sincerely, Maximum Jacobs He closed his diary and took a few minutes to himself to organize his thoughts. I’m an ordinary high school boy. he thought. Nothing but an ordinary kid who just wants to get through the day. He took a deep breath, got up and put his diary in the drawer next to his bed. He took out a comb, walked next to the mirror and started to brush his hair. He put his comb down, lifted his hand up and briefly touches the mirror with his fingertips and said “Maybe there’s another me out there, that I don’t know about…” he barely smiled “Maybe this is his dream, his imaginary world..” he walked over, grabbed his coat, took a deep breath and with a big smile said “It’s time for school!” As he was walking, somebody shouted “Maxi!!!” he turned around and noticed a girl with short blond hair and blue eyes running towards him. Oh great, it's Tune... He thought as she stopped right in front of him. “So Maxi, going to school I see!” she said with a big grin. “Tune, I wish you can stop calling me Maxi and start calling me by my real name Maximum” he said with a grunt. “Nope can’t do that!!! Ever since we were kids I’ve called you Maxi so I’m not about to ruin the tradition” she crossed her hands trying to show that she was serious. It was quiet for a moment until Maximum grunted and started to walk again with Tune fallowing him. It was still early in the morning; most people just starting to wake up, the sun just rising. “So Maxi… I have something to tell you…” She said with hesitation, “yeah what is it?” Maximum said with annoyance. “Well... I’ve got a secret to tell you…” she looked at him with a soft smile as they stopped for the train to pass. “It’s a very special secret that I’ve kept hidden for so long...” her eyes glimmered “But I can’t tell you know … Someday I will, but not now.” They started to walk again, a huge smile on Tune’s face. Maximum couldn’t help but wonder what the big secret was she had to tell him. But soon after, they arrived at school, both of them exhausted from the walk. “Well I’ll see you later, Maxi” Tune said as they were about to go their separate ways. “Yeah see you later” Maximum said as he waved her goodbye. He grabbed his binder from his locker and walked on to his morning class. In school Maximum was not a popular kid neither a geek, but just a normal kid. Some kids do consider him weird because he keeps to himself a lot and doesn’t really take the time to talk to other people or make any other friends except Tune. The bell rang and as always, he was the first one to arrive. He looked out the window and noticed the clouds were starting to darken must be a storm coming he thought. The class went on as usual. Kids drawing on desk, throwing stuff at the nerds, and at other times the lesson would be so boring that some kids would go to sleep. Maximum looked outside the window and noticed the wind picking up and a few sprinkles of rain here and there. “I heard there was supposed to be a hurricane today.” A kid next to him said, “Yeah right, there wouldn’t be any school if there was” another kid replied. Before the bell was about to ring an announcement from the P.A. came on “There will be an early dismissal today due to the server weather we're having. So after 1st period please get your utensils and report to the buses.” Thunder crashed into one of the trees and broke a branch; rain poured down on the school. Wow it’s getting very bad out there Maximum said to himself. The bell rang and all of the kids ran down to their lockers and got their stuff. Maximum was about to leave but then noticed he left his binder in his desk. So he went back into the class room to get the binder. But suddenly a humongous explosion occurred, that knocked him to the ground. He picked himself up as quickly as possible and ran to see what has happened. As he was out the door his eyes widened when he saw the front end of a plane right in front of his face. A plane crashed into the school he thought and as he turned his head he’d seen that half of the school was gone leaving only the trace of blood and body parts crumbling with concrete as evidence. Tune! He thought with a worried face, “Tune!!!” He screamed out as he started to run. He kept on running screaming out her name, and then he suddenly slipped in a pile of blood. His hands and clothes covered with the blood of many people that had been taken by this horrific incident. Maximum looked at his hands, with fear in his eyes. “God please...please…” he said as he started to cry. He then heard a sound coming from his far right. He got up with blood dripping from his clothes. He walked for a bit and again he heard the noise. “Ma...Xi...” a voice said so soft and calmly, “Over here…” He turned to his side to see Tune with blood soaked upon her. “MA...XI…I’m right here” she said with blood running down her back, he walked up next to her and bent down, tears running down his face. “Maxi I knew you would come to find me...” she said as life was leaving her eyes. “Don’t worry Tune I’ll…” He stuttered, “I‘ll go get some help…” as he was about to get up, Tune lifted her hand slowly but softly, and touched his hand. “Maxi the… secret I wanted to tell you…” she lifted her face up just a little bit. “The secret I wanted to tell you about... for so long” gushes of blood started to drip from her face, the sharp piece of metal stuck to her back made it painful for her to move. “Don’t talk; save your strength…” tears still poured from his face. “She lifted her other hand, in order to touch his cheek, “The secret ...is...” Maximum's eyes were in shock; he couldn’t deal with the pain in his heart. He griped her hand tightly thinking that this was the only way to save her. Her eyes starting to close very slowly, “Tune….” Maximum said gripping her hands very tightly “please don’t leave me.” Before Tune's eyes shut for good, she said the words that took the last of her breath… “I love you…Maximum” .

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-10-19 00:01:50

I don't mind, feel free to post your stories :D. But make sure they follow forum rules. ~Doomlight http://i34.tinypic.com/33pad0k.jpg

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-11-29 00:08:30 (edited 2011-11-29 00:16:11)

Hmm... I'll be honest and say this much, it seems like it has the stuff to be a good story. You might want to give a better synopsis, because when you skip the synopsis you don't have a clear plan out in mind. I can understand that you want to make it into different arcs. But first concentrate on one arc instead of branching out into 8 different arcs. More than likely you could combine some of the Arcs together because you might not possibly have enough to write for each and every arc. Try to explain the characters, like how they are, and other stuff. Basically just brainstorm how you want the characters to start off as. Then later along the story they change. You don't need to plan for the change right this second but it's better to have a clear goal in mind. The character names seem good, BUT it doesn't match the country of origin (Unless of course Osea is from Ace Combat(Osean Federation)) ~Doomlight Edit: I'm in the process of updating the 1st Post :D http://i34.tinypic.com/33pad0k.jpg

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-11-29 13:44:34

Well, as a general rule, you should never start your story with a history of the setting. You should first introduce a character, perhaps a conflict with another character, and develop a relationship or two, then casually introduce the history as the story progresses. Something I like to do with my stories is bring in a newcomer (not necessarily an outsider) who's unfamiliar with what's going on, such as a student who had been hospitalized until recently. Don't start off with an introduction of the place; wait until at least a small portion of the cast of characters has been introduced into the story. I've been diligently writing chapter stories for seven years (although I've yet to finish a single story because I keep rewriting them), so this is the advice of a seasoned creative writer. Thanks to liweny for this lovely Mystia claim icon! <3

Re: Writers Club/Guild Link | by on 2011-11-30 02:23:55

DON'T WORRY I'm alive technically speaking. It depends on what you are comfortable with. Mystia is right that generally you shouldn't start off with the history unless you can directly link it to the main character eg. flashback/dream/something B and C depends on you. Like I said before that you should choose what you are comfortable with plus you need to see how it would effect your overall story. If you were to say that he is an immigrant from another country, you open up the possibilities of a backstory of why he had to leave his previous country but if he were to fight for a country that he recently moved to the backstory would make it all that necessary. If you take path C, you have the benefit of having a structure set of (Friends, Family, History, misc) but you would still need to explain a bit and add backstory. But this is my opinion @Mystia: Don't worry haha, I do the same too but instead...they get lost...and I can never find them :(. I wrote this at 5:23am EST (GMT -6:00) so if stuff doesn't make sense, I'll re-post eventually ~Doomlight http://i34.tinypic.com/33pad0k.jpg

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