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Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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Ok, so here's the story... I'm in love with this girl. When I confessed, she rejected me once, saying she didn't love me the same way, that she just wanted to remain friends. Few weeks later, she says she'd try loving me and get together. Another few weeks later, she rejects me again, saying about how things won't work out because of our different backgrounds and how our families won't approve of the relationship, if there ever was one. After another week or so, she decided to try again. In the end, it didn't work out again. But we still remained friends. Later, while eating with her, I commented about how close she is with one of our other friends. She was quite shocked about the observations I stated to her.This got her to think about her feelings towards said friend. And has resulted in the both of them getting together now. I don't know what to feel right now... All I know is that I still love her and that I hate the relationship she's in right now. I feel sick when I see the both of them together. When she talks to me about it, she gives the same doubts she has when I was trying to get together with her. Maybe its because she's in love with him? Then again, she did tell me she did love me the same way at one point, so it can;t be just that. I wonder what I had done wrong to deserve this... I know this so-called 'sacrifice' I've made was for the better, she has always seemed happier with him than me. *sigh* But at what price did I pay for this sacrifice? Most of my friends have told me, even her, that the reason she got together with him was because of me, because of what I talked to her about. Did I do the right thing? Did I bring all this upon myself? I am still very much in love with her, she's still always on my mind. Somehow, from the start, I knew it would have never worked and would have come down to this.I know I have to move on, but emotionally, I'm not ready. |
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
on 2008-12-07 23:53:48 |
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I really want to talk you out to move on at first but I see you understand.. for your answer for my point of view well what you did at first was just talking... but then she took notice and then things happen... then you question should I just shut my mouth at first but hey, things already happen... you said yourself that she was happier with him. So well if I were you I gave her up too... maybe you should go vacation alone or without her ^^ trying to relax and forget about her ^^ and alter on you will think of it as sweet memories ^^ cheer up dude 
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
on 2008-12-08 02:39:15 |
| Are you really close friends with her? That might have something to do with her confusion about her feelings with you. Even though it seems that she is really hurting you with her wishy-washy emotions, if she really values you as a close friend she might be afraid of jeopardizing that by dating you. The friend that she is now dating however, she might see that friendship as one not as close or precious to her, so she doesn't mind risking it by starting a romantic relationship with him. I know girls are really crazy and confusing and hard to understand. I am one too.. v.v |
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
on 2008-12-08 02:55:21 |
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Same with sammeh. I had a relationship with someone kindof like this.. I know how you feel. But think of it this way: she wants to remain friends; meaning she, too, wants to stick with you longer.Another thing is that you confessed to her, and she totally acknoweleged it! That doesnt happen everytime, my friend. The best advice I can give is to leave the subject matter alone. like, if you're around her, just say things like "Hello! How are you?" slightly often, maybe you can find out how she is overall, without poking in to her life and you can keep any subject out of it if you try! :3 But if at any time she starts to tell you about her and the boy together and you dont want to hear it, tell her to stop because that's one of the things that hurts the most, man. "Talk not of wasted affection; Affection never was wasted." 
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
on 2008-12-08 13:01:31 |
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From your post there, I do feel for you, as a guy and we support each other. :D Judging from your situation, things are confusing, and yeah they will leave that toll on your mind. You seem like a sensitive person who values feelings, and I can tell you really think about this girl a lot, which is nice. One thing I felt was questionable was when she tried getting together with you, what twice? To see how things would work out? As a result they didn't, unfortunately, but I think she really did try, but that proves to me you can't force love, because in my book, you can never force it, ever. I think it's only one of those girls you think about for a phase (few weeks, months possibly, etc.). Time will heal this, I hope, since it usually works out that way from my friends who were once in the same shoes you were in, so no worries. I know it's gonna be tough, rough, possibly heart breaking but you might just have to move on. You two are close friends and seem to be best friends at that. Most of the time in relationships that's how things should be, though I've seen it before, getting together with this type of person in your life is damn well possibly. Give it a bit of time, and see where she goes with this guy, though you said she questions their own relationship, maybe it's too early to start finding people to go out with. 
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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Been there, done that. Just got to try and move on, is all I can say.
If each mistake being made is a new one, then progress is being made.
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
on 2008-12-22 22:46:09 |
| Unrequitted love? Now this is a topic I want to tackle.. If you're just in highschool or lower, that's not true love (although there may be some, but it's really 1in a 100 possibility that's it's not just attraction), of course it isn't! After all, what do you know in life? In college, it makes it more possible, and when you grow older, that's when you will experience the real thing, because you will know enogh about it already, but when yo're not yet there, it's just an infatuation and don't get yourself depressed for being dumped, after all, it's not the end of the world.. That's all.. :) |
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
on 2008-12-25 09:38:57 |
Unrequited love is something I know only through the misery of friends. I empathize with your feelings and all I can do is give you hug. *hugs*  |
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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| When something happens it happens for a reason soif you got rejected it was meant to be, she is not the one you will spend your life with, keep looking you will ind her eventually :] |
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
 
on 2009-01-21 06:18:29 |
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alright, hmm.. I'mma say things that would be for the thread starter's case. 1. You loved her, she didn't really, REALLY. Things may had been a little awkward for the both of you at first, and then afterwards she decided to give you a chance since she dun want you to get really hurt because you two are close friends. You said that she rejected you AFTER she came back and tried to start something for the both of you. Well, she didn't really rejected you a second time since it was her who started it. She was still making her mind up whether she wanted to risk all those years of friendship that would only deteriorate just by a single mistake in the relationship you are looking for. In the end, your friendship still remained while she had decided on one fact, though in your part you were already scarred. 2. Of teh After Shock, Bitter~ness, Jealousy So after your final "break-up", you're still harboring feelings for her. Up to the point wherein you took things for another, misunderstanding and exaggerating. Though that only leads to this "guy", technically it was your fault. But in reality, it was a GOOD fault. You made her happy in the sense that since you two are friends, one-side more than friends, you would want the best thing for her. In your case, "the next-best-thing" suits it better. Hmm, I'm assuming you're still on your highschool year? So teh thoughts that you are thinking are really normal. All you need are those people (besides her) that really knows you, they would help clear things up. And regarding your questions I'll try answering them non-biased since I dun really know much: what I had done wrong to deserve this? -Only thing you had done wrong was that you mishandled the problem, in any case... there was something that you ignored that caused this. at what price did I pay for this sacrifice? -You already stated it, her happiness for a PART, only a part, of your happiness. Did I do the right thing? -Once you're back to your rational self, you would be able to reflect almost everything. The worst case scenario there would be IF teh "guy" would do something bad to her. *knocks on wood* Did I bring all this upon myself? -Apparently, YES. Although it wasn't ALL of YOU that took part in here. So you shouldn't burden it all. ------------------ So yeah, that was my some rant regarding teh first post... feel free to correct anything and I would then say my defense regarding it... XD Next post would be on Unrequited Love in general... XD gonna gather all my thoughts first... 
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Re: Unrequited love, why is life so harsh?
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by
on 2009-01-23 14:31:19 |
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Please, dont talk about it. I lived for him. He lived for Victoria-san. My heart tore in to peices! 11 year old is too young to have heart broken!
i'm picturing you naked.
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