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Twins
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on 2008-10-20 07:48:46 |
| My twin sisters just recently got into a huge fight and the oldest one was saying how she wish the other was never born. She(the oldest twin) kept saying how the other wished she could be like her and wished she would just stop trying and that they were always in competition. So my questions is do all twins act and say this at some point in their lives and do you guys think the pressure hurts or helps |
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Re: Twins
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on 2008-10-20 12:32:14 |
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well, i have twin brothers as well. to explain things easier, let's call the older A and the younger B. my brothers had some quarrels before telling each other how they wish that the other wasn't born. but most of the time, the cause of their quarrels are misunderstandings. they never said that B should be like A and vice versa(but they do it in jokes). more often than not, twins wouldn't be like each other, and comparisons often sicken them. competition is what really concerns them, but of course twins are two different people. A may be good at this while B is better at thet. i also have twin classmates in high school, and they are often compared academically. it took a time before the teachers stopped comparing them. obviously, one of them would fare better than the other. weird that the older twin as your sibling wanted for the younger to be like her. anyway, this competition is what makes A curse B to be gone and vice versa. none of them would want to be less than the other. isn't it that the same is true with siblings? at some point of their lives it would hurt them, but the helping part is a case to case basis. it depends on how they receive these comparisons. |
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Re: Twins
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on 2008-10-20 14:35:09 |
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You don't have to be twins to fight and argue. I think it's common with any type relationship. I mean regular brothers and sisters argue/fight, and I have a younger sister so I know pretty well first hand. In the end you're still family. No argument can ever break that bond. 
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Re: Twins
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Ironic. If her sister was never born, she'd never have been born either.
If each mistake being made is a new one, then progress is being made.
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Re: Twins
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on 2008-10-21 02:17:03 (edited 2008-10-21 02:19:06)
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^^^ Ahaehahahaa I hate the twin stereotyping--- just because another twin keeps on quarrelling, he/she is known as the evil twin <_< I met few twins in my life and they were well-behaved and rarely argue/fight. And each does not think similarly. Come on, they are just normal human beings. Twins argue, that's a normal same process of conflict that non-twins faced as well. What's the big deal, anyway? |
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Re: Twins
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on 2008-10-21 06:44:29 |
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Thanks for your help guys/girls But I'll see if I can make myself better understood twin A (the oldest twin) didn't want twin B (the youngest twin) to be like her. Sorry if that's what it sounded like...I wasn't sure how to phrase it so I guess it came out sounding like the oppsite. But the fight they had got so bad that twin A tried to kill herself. She kept yelling about how she hated both me and twin B (although hopefully she really doesn't). So I guess my real questions should be how can we (me and my family) help her though this rough patch. Any helpful feedback would be greatly appreciated. |
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Re: Twins
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on 2008-10-21 10:55:14 (edited 2008-10-21 11:14:12)
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is there by any chance that twin B is using some of twin A's stuff. at our family quarrels starts of someone uses someone else stuff and/or eating someone else food, and also reaching to the point of one wishing that the other one was never born. I actually went to the same phase my self ^_^. Competing about ownership of stuff, though we never had a really big arguments on stuff like why does he/she get better stuff than me.Just on using some one else stuff was the big issue. well after a while we always manage to forget most of those fights, after talking about common stuff like games/music/tv shows and as if those arguments never happened at all. those old arguments will just pop back up again later on if another problems arises. They are more often used as comparison saying you did worst than I am or now we are even. after while were friends again. it just cycles. my sister also did try the slash her wrist thing though if failed probably got scared. In the end she just wanted more attention. And since my parents doesn't stop scolding her if she does some thing wrong, the worst thing she could do right now is go home really late or staying at a friends house. probably the reason why twin A doesn't want twin B to copy her is because she don't want the twin A = twin B. it doesn't have to be where twin A > twin B just that she wants to be recognized as a different person, as twin A and not as like Twin B. also maybe twin B is copying twin A to also get attention. maybe topics about "you are really like your twin" make twin A upset. maybe just avoid comparing them. Edit: These are just my thought though. since my sister problem was just attention. and that the reason why some people tries to copy somebody is more often to be recognized or they Just idolize them. |
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Re: Twins
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on 2008-10-21 12:31:42 (edited 2008-10-21 12:38:08)
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bonta-kun: is there by any chance that twin B is using some of twin A's stuff. Twin A: *looks frustrated, gives angry eyes to Twin B* Twin B: What's wrong? Twin A: You are wearing my lucky drawers again, aren't you? Twin B: Uhhhh *eyes shifting, guilt* That is the same thing happens to all non-twins. ketsueki: But the fight they had got so bad that twin A tried to kill herself. She kept yelling about how she hated both me and twin B (although hopefully she really doesn't). So I guess my real questions should be how can we (me and my family) help her though this rough patch. Any helpful feedback would be greatly appreciated. Absolutely ridiculous. I am ashamed of Twin A's rash behaviour. Why? She is being such a selfish git, assuming that she knows much more than the rest. What's the reward after shouting like a banshee and threatening her own family members by killing herself?!? Seriously, she is being such a selfish twin, she needs to see her ugly self before it's too late. You guys need to be caring (by asking politely what caused her to be angry? What are the factors that created that uncontrollable rage? etc) yet at the same time strict, in order for Twin A to listen to what your honest opinions say about her. Truth and honesty always pays off and she (hopefully) will see herself and change her behaviour to reach maturity. Give her some time to realize. I've been to that stage before, and my god, it gave me a huge slap of reality over what I've done to my family. --- I think twins are special beings, in my opinion. They exist altogether, under the fate of nature or whatever else. Just live on like human beings, they don't need to carry their twin image to the public all the time. Surely people will understand that once one of them informed the people in order for them to be treated equally (i.e. a separate person). They always know, in their hearts, what they are and the things they shared together during the growing up years. |
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Re: Twins
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on 2008-10-21 21:11:11 |
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Sibling rivalry occurs between twins, brothers, sisters, brother/sisters. I don't have any siblings [fortunately] but I see it all the time with friends. Heck sibling rivaly doesn't even have to be between siblings. There is also competition between cousins and friends, like me and my cousin. But the fact that they look the same doesn't help. At least with regular siblings you can tell them apart by appearance. But with I identical twins, I suppose there is that extra effort they make to distinguish themselves from the other twin. Sorta like "look at me, I'm not the same as her." I guess it's not only trying to set themselves up as an individual, but to come out on top and be the best of the two. The feeling of not being able to compete with another isn't fun, I can tell you. But when you can't compare to someone who was literally cut out of the same block, I guess that would be even worse I hope that helps, I'm just stipulating here so...  |
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Re: Twins
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on 2009-01-23 06:38:50 |
| I think that this is a little over due (o_O a little... how long has it been) anyways I just wanted to wait a little while before I posted anything on this topic again. My sisters seems to be doing much better (their getting along) and now they're acting as if nothing has happened(doesn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...). I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who replied with thier opinions and helpful hints. So thanks |
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Re: Twins
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on 2009-01-23 06:42:23 (edited 2009-01-23 06:46:52)
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"and now they're acting as if nothing has happened" happens to our family all of the time. edit: I think its a good thing. |
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Re: Twins
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on 2009-01-23 22:19:31 |
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I have a fraternal twin sister. We don't look a lot like. We have different talents as well. But we get along just fine. Though, sometimes, fighting is not avoidable. It's pretty much normal for siblings. It actually helps, to get to know each other as well. To be honest, I envy most of my twin traits. I love how tall she is and how her hair just flow, but what she didn't have is brain. She's really slow in academic as well in athletic edu. And my skin is much smoother and whiter than hers. I know that she envy me too, but we don't care. We love each other, and we care for each other. We just help each other in things we want to be like. :D gah.  |