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Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-06-25 03:51:05 |
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Do humans have the capacity to love selflessly? People are always talking and dreaming about their ideal friend/partner etc. For example, some people want a friend who listens, and other people want a friend who'd always be there for them, no matter what. And of course, they say that they'll do the same for that person. Sounds fair, doesn't it? But are they only being a friend to the other person because the other person has fulfilled their expectations/conditions? Would they still continue being a friend to that person if that person were to turn around and do something to hurt them? Also, would you go all out to be a real friend to someone, without expecting that person to return the favour? I apologize if I'm not explaining myself well enough, but basically, we're all meant to care for others, no matter what, right? But when someone turns around and does something to hurt you, suddenly, you have the right to stop being nice to that person, in "self-defense", because if you were to continue being nice to that person, you'd be labelled as "stupid". And why do we feel hurt when someone whom you thought was a friend hurts you? Is it because we expected them to return the friendship? In other words, this is conditional love, isn't it? I'd like to see what the rest of you have to say about this topic(:
"When a person is cursed, two graves are dug."
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2007-06-25 07:41:12
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....Ahh.... I'm loving this thread already :D "...are they only being a friend to the other person because the other person has fulfilled their expectations/conditions?" This is sort of iffy here... For example, the kind of girl I'd consider as my "dream girl" has few major faults. Therefore, if she's not quite like I imagine her to be, she'd have a fault-- Would wanting her to be better count as selfish or loving? That depends on if I'm wanting her to be better, or if I'm wanting her to be the way I want her... And to be frank, I think I'd have feelings of both ^_~ "Also, would you go all out to be a real friend to someone, without expecting that person to return the favour?" All the time; If I give someone a gift in World of Warcraft, and they pay me back, I'll send the cash back with a 10% bonus-- NO ONE gives me stuff unless I ask for it, hohoho. "And why do we feel hurt when someone whom you thought was a friend hurts you? Is it because we expected them to return the friendship?" I can think of fifty different reasons, but they all have their roots in your statement @.@ "I'd like to see what the rest of you have to say about this topic(:" I'd like to see what the rest of you have to say about this topic too :D  |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by zukokyolover
on 2007-06-25 09:33:27
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in my opinion, certain people have the capacity to love unconditionally. i am a relatively kind and thoughtfull person and i will always listen to what my friends have to say, their problems and whatever else without passing judgement unless i see that they desperately need it. however every humanbeing is somewhat self-centered, it is only a natural instinct. yes, friends do have certain expectations...but if they do something to hurt me or my other friends they are gone to me. i would not associate with them unless whatever they did was a complete accident or out of their control. i am a friend to almost everyone i meet. i say..."kill people with kindness" when you kill someone with kindness they cant say anything like "your wrong" because you are right, the person cannot correct, they will look bad in the process. i always am kind to people i know and meet. and i would never ask for anyone to return the favor because one of my best friends is myself. and in my opinion, the only person you can truely depend on is yourself. "I apologize if I'm not explaining myself well enough, but basically, we're all meant to care for others, no matter what, right?" it all depends on what the person does to you. if they appologise and do the same thing again, it would not be healthy to stay with that person anylonger. i think that it would be smart to be kind to a person who wronged you, not stupid. when you are kind and they are not they are in the wrong and you in the right. all they do is make themselves look bad. im not sure how to answer your last question...but i like this topic and i hope alot of people answer!!!! |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-06-25 10:03:36 (edited 2007-06-25 10:05:11)
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If it is indeed possible for a human to express unconditional love in real life, I have not observed such a person yet. That leads me to believe such a relationship occurs no more frequently than one in 1,000 (the approximate number of relationships I have observed well enough to determine there is no unconditional love present). That's right, I applied the scientific method to a question of love! Take that, Helen Fisher! 
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-06-30 01:52:24 |
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no, i do not believe in such a thing as unconditional love....it is really absurd and ridiculous if you think about it And "selfless love" is an oxymoron, love (well hate too, so i guess it would be more accurate to say passion) is the most selfish emotion out there. if i sounded rude at all i apoligise  |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-07-01 17:28:56 |
hmmmm..intersting. I suppose there is such a thing as Unconditional love. But many people have lost that fact there is such a thing. Saying that unconditional love is easy would be untrue. I see these old couples that have been married for 50 years. That alone proves that you can love someone the rest of your life. But I bet they argued and yelled thier share in that realsonship. I don't think people want to put up with the heart ache that love can hand you sometime. But if the two honestly love each other deep down I think it could work. However they need to have a lot in common if that is to work. You can't be different on too many things cuz then you are just fighting agaisnt something that can't be fixed. This is just my view however, I can't say I'm talking out of experience.  
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-07-01 17:49:57 |
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@Honey's Lover: No disresept or anything but how old are you and how long have you been goning out with your bf?
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-07-01 18:24:28 |
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Well not to be mean, but I don't that's enough time to really get to know everything about them. I'm thinking your still in the infatuation stage of the realsonships. That normally wears off after a year or so.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-07-02 22:07:50 (edited 2007-07-03 21:20:10)
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I believe it is possible, but it is an anomaly... EDIT- And, I'm also not sure it's such a good thing... |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-07-03 18:40:59 |
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I believe that it's possible....but highly unlikely. It's just not something you hear much of. I've been friends with people without ever expecting friendship back. It's difficult sometimes though. Having the friendship reciprocated is always nice though. "But are they only being a friend to the other person because the other person has fulfilled their expectations/conditions? Would they still continue being a friend to that person if that person were to turn around and do something to hurt them?" There are many people that are like this. It's only normal to feel that it's necessary to have the other party involved to put forth effort. Such as keeping in contact to remain friends. Many people will stop pursuing a friendship once hurt because they don't want to be made the fool if/when that person hurts them again. Personally, I'll remain friends and give a second chance. I just don't trust them for the most part and that trust needs to be earned back. Although....there are still a few deal-breakers in my book that will result in my never speaking to you again.  |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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Hmmh, i've never seen or heard anything like that i suppose... The closest one might be the love of a parrent towards his/her child, but even that's not always absolute. Wow, even god doesn't love us anymore when we turned against him does he? So unconditional love hardly ever exists... |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by wind-spear5
on 2007-08-02 22:34:13
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People who hold any form of standard can never understand what unconditional love truly is, and also if people were to learn that by holding standards and expectations for other people's personality, and attributes they themselves will never love another unconditionally. Let me give you an example: say I had feelings for a girl right? Now what would be one of the first things going through my mind at that moment of time? Well maybe first and foremost her appearances her hair, eyes, face, and hey body overall(no pun intended of course), and now why am I thinking about her appearance? Because maybe I like my girls to have let's say: dark hair, blue eyes, and nice fit body with curves to compliment her beauty. Now that's physical standard, and I've just getting warmed up. Ok I spoken about physical appearances, and now to move onto the expectations of an individual's personality, and personal beliefs. Now back to my example I was talking about earlier: I know she may not meet my physical expectation of her appearance, but what about her personality? Now some people enjoy the outdoors, and others enjoy sports, music, helping the community, reading, expressing their artistic ability, etc. Now onto personal likes, and dislike: some people love water, and would swim in it everyday if they could, and others would hate it for reasons that is theirs, but now I'm slowly shifting from my example. Now say I would like to have this girl I hold feelings for to be kind, outgoing, and smart, and would also enjoy reading, outdoor activities, and anime(couldn't resist). Now you have your preference for your "dream" girl or guy for those ladies that are taking the time to read this crap. Ok you have your preference and maybe she doesn't meet it, and for the sake of this example she has feelings for you when you don't. She would know what kind of preferences in the opposite gender you hold, and will perhaps try to change herself to meet at least a small number of those preferences. Now maybe this girl is the "perfect one" for you, but maybe she isn't, and how would you truly know? The answer: you won't unless you've taken the time to know her. My point is that people who hold any standard whatsoever will never know what unconditional love is, and I'm not going to say I know what it is because I'm not clear on what it is exactly, and with that I will end my rant. |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-08-03 12:51:05 |
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I agree with you to a point. But I think there is a difference between standerds and just chemistery. It would be very diffecult for me to fall in love with someone who is completly opposite of me. It wouldn't work if you have nothing in common. But as far as setting phyiscal standerds you are correct.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by wind-spear5
on 2007-08-03 13:35:32
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| I'm going to ask for your forgiveness because I had written that rant while my thoughts kept wondering, and also I feel that it is somewhat incomplete. I've been asked by people "what do you look for in a girl?", and I would usually think that why should I limit myself to just a certain type of girl? Now I am surprised that somebody would even understand let alone agree with some key points that I have placed in my post, and I look forward to any other post that might come onto this thread. Dark Stranger: I thank you for reading this rant of mine, and I look forward to seeing what other threads we find each other in, but until then: I bid you farewell. |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
 ガオォォ
on 2007-08-07 05:43:15 |
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I think Unconditional Love is possible.But it also depends on the person. People change over time,have mood swings,and often need to spend some time on their own to think things out.Each and everyone expresses their love for a special person differently,well maybe not each and every one..but to me,unconditional love requires a whole lot of patience,people have faults,that can't be changed in a single day just because you want to change for the person you love. In my opinion,you have to first experience "love" yourself,before you can ask yourself whether you can do whatever it takes,pay whatever price,just to secure this love you have for your partner. It's difficult,but can be done with enough patience. |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by bermudanwarrior
on 2007-08-07 09:10:34 (edited 2007-08-07 09:11:27)
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This is the same as the white hole, it DOES exist, theoretically. Well I think this Unconditional stuff we're talking about, it's more like Unconditional Devotion and Understanding. I HOPE IT DOESN'T EXIST though, because IMO, it usually makes people suffer instead of bringing them happiness. Maybe God's teasing these poor souls, or maybe that's why love's so full of color... |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-08-08 13:12:04 |
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Yeah Twisted. While I personally have not expericanced this kind of love, I wouldn't want to think that it doesn't exist. Plus there is no such thing as a realsonship that never has any problems. There will always be some pain in a realsonship, but its how you both work together because you truly want to be with that other person.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-09-13 04:45:08 |
Hmm.. this is a pretty hard one.. unconditional love means that ur love knows no boundaries.. which can be rather difficult to achieve. But unconditonal love is the best one can ever offer. It is difficult, yet so desirable.. The feeling just seeps into u at the sheer thought of it.. ^^ causing da tingling.. oooo  |
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-09-13 05:12:57 |
maybe ^.^ God does!! hehehehe!! 
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Re: Unconditional love?
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by
on 2007-09-13 07:10:49 |
i agree with vie~haha 
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