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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
 DaedalusMachina
on 2006-03-20 18:15:19 (edited 2006-03-20 18:21:29)
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Ninja - I was using the term "riddle" metaphorically as well as literally. I'll have to look at that thread, but I've actually written my own riddles, but I can't find them. Once I do, you'll hear from me. EDIT: Found the notebook at time of edit. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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things sure have changed here. i feel stupid cuz i dont know what anyone is talking about anymore.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Suicide is the way I wanna die. I don't wanna be killed by anything other than me. Not time, not nature, not people, not sickness. I wanna be the one who gets that satisfaction of being the one who kills me. Even if I am an inch from death, I will stab myself in the heart for the satisfaction of killing myself. I didn't sell my mind on ebay, just most of its contents. I am really bad on discussions with the soul. I don't believe in one, nor do I believe we don't have one. So I tend to ignore the concept. Depening on how you define it, I think the soul is something to worry about after your dead. Right now, I just do what a always do and I what I feel is right. If a soul exists, I am sure mine is exactly how I want it to be. I am a man of no faith, however I am not nihilistic either. I just pay attention to the facts, and leave the unexplainable or unprovable for the dead to worry about. What I think is good and bad, other may think differently. I think right and wrong are whatever you think they are, just be prepared for the people who disagree. As for the friendship dissolution thing, I never had a good enough friend to know what it is like. Friends just leave each other, or betray each other if you arent close enough. I don't know what it is like to have a good friend. All I know is that most of the people that I want to kill I once called them my friends. That V for Vendetta movie looks cool, he reminds me of Akabane Kurodo. Of course, I would say Kurodo is a lot cooler though. You can compare.   Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-03-21 14:35:08 |
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@Jomunga: That's an interesting way to look at it. But it does seem a little selfish, and what if your death is less painless than what you were planning to do? Another hypothetical for ya, if you did have a soul, and it felt pain, and you ended up always feeling pain after death, how would you look on the dicisions you made while alive? I'm really more curious than trying to make a point. While I never considered it, I always wondered if it were possible for a logical person to comit suicide. Suicide is resonable when it comes to dire situations at which point, one wouldn't be able to make such a decision for his or her self. That idea never occured to me, but one logical reason would be because someone simply didn't want to live. But that line of thought would be selfish, not logical. I have another question for you Jomunga, if you were never told that you were going to die for certain, when would you take your life and how would you know?  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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im listening to My Chemical Romance's new CD...it came out today...its pritty sweet! well, ill take a stab at that one...as many of you know, i do not really want to live...life sucks. but that isn't reason enought to just die...case in point, im still here...if no one loved me anymore, then i would think about it again...its really hard to go one when it seems their is no one to support you...in my case, quite frequently their isnt...but it seems that Alyssa seems to alwayse call me or message me when i feel like that... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-03-21 18:09:37 |
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Ketsuki, don't feel stupid. Even if you don't undersyand what we're saying that doesn't mean you can't learn from them. When you were a baby you didn't understand others but you still learned. You just have to start with the basics, without a solid foundation you can't build on your knowlege. Jomunga, that's an intresting position you take there. I belive that's the first time I've heard something of that ilk in a long time. Even kotuso takes a position of trying to find things out, he renounces some of the more substantial emotions as "pointless." Nighmare, I'm sure you have a reason for living, like the next MCR CD. I'm also going to get the "Singleman" image on a T-shirt one of these days. As soon as I get enough money for it. After I get a Girlfriend I might have to put it away for a while. And remove SGAG(Single Guys Association of Gendou) from my sig. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
 
on 2006-03-22 03:30:35 |
Today something really bad happened. I'm in my 1st year in highschool(7th grade in other countries) I study in a private catholic school and there are only two days left until vacation. I was happy because I passed every subject and didn't have to take remedial classes. But today we had a demo class for consumers math. I participated and listened well but since the teacher was someone the whole class was unfamiliar with we were a bit shy so most of us didn't participate and we were very silent. After the class the nun, who was also the principal and directress, observing us held the class back and she told us she was very dissapointed that we weren't participating. She got mad at us that she wants us to attend remedial classes for a week! It's not fair! I was participating and my grades are more than good enough to make me pass! Then she said she'll be teaching us herself in math which makes it even worse since it was because we were all shy and silent and not because we didn't know the answers to the easy questions that made her mad at us. She could have at least made us do ativities to help boost our self-confidence and self-esteem instead since it was our lack of those things that upsets her! And now I, as unusual as this sounds to ppol who knows me very well, don't have a plan to get me out of trouble! I almost cried since I was trying so hard not to talk back to the principal/directress and call her names and tell her what exactly is in my mind and how stupid and useless some of the things and policies the school has... I don't know what to do anymore..... 
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-03-22 05:47:56
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Ah, aren't those situations lovely? They give you a chance to get more done ^_~ On a more serious note, it sounds like if you were outgoing or if the principal nun lady dudette was more intuitive, the whole thing would be adverted. However, fret not, for bad things happening to you is good... unless you get too many XD I'd seriously just go to the classes and participate from now on, and learn from this mistake, regardless of who's it was. Just because the principal nun lady dudette could have could have done better doesn't mean she should have; however, you can decide yourself if you wish to do better.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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well thats life...sometimes you can never be good enough for people...like my dad... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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I really don't care how painful the death is, as long as its quick. I would just stab myself in the heart because its easiest. If a soul felt pain? I am one to endure pain. It is possibly I could do evil and not realize it, I would reflect on that. Really the method to logical suicide is getting the idea in your head that life isn't precious. I believe its just there, and I can do whatever what I want with it. That value of ones own life is as much as they believe it is. As for when I am going to take my life. Whenever I feel that I lived enough and its at a convienent time or right after my girlfriend dies, if I get one. I wouldn't commit suicide if my girlfriend didn't die before me. As of now I am too happy to commit suicide, I don't think depression will be back for years. Usually I would sink into depression a couple of times a month, however it hasn't happened for many months. I don't wanna be the last person SGAG. How many members do we have so far? I don't need the words "singleman" on my shirt, people can just look at me and know. Koori, what would happen if you just didn't show up for remedial classes? I hardly go to regular classes, like hell would I go to remedial ones. I did something incredibly stupid today. I went and bought 100 lbs for the bench press. I put 100 lbs on and lifted it 10 times. I though I could just add the rest of the weight, scince I thought I could handle it. I thought I could bench more than I actually could because when I went to the gym once I had a spotter with me and the bench press there also had a safety feature. In the end it weighed 150 lbs, when I push up it seemed alright, but once I took it off and lowered it I realized it was more than I could handle. It took all my effort to get it back on the holder. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-03-22 18:24:59 (edited 2006-03-22 18:31:21)
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koori-chan, I'm known for my taking the side of the teacher. Not having been to a catholic school, I have no idea about what these situations are like. In any case 'tis only a week of classes, a week of class is nothing. Try having three months of track, in which we do latter sprints, and lots of fun stuff like jumping up a flight of stairs and doing speed hurdels. If all else fails (or in actuallity you should do this always) do as Sachiel says. Participate, even if you aren't familiar to the teacher. You never know, you might form a nice freindship with that teacher. Nightmare, if life isn't fun it's not worth livivng. Don't let other people live your life, and don't live their's. Don't worry about anything because you never realy need anything. I don't need to breathe, I would die if I didn't though. That's a little extreame, I don't need to post here, I do because I want to. I need to do my homework, but I enjoy posting. I'd never get anything done if I were to do what I wanted, but at the same time if I did what I needed I would never have any fun. You need to strike a nice ballance with them, but that's hard if not impossible to acomplish. (ahh! the cliche it burns!) Jomunga, as far as i know I was the only one for a while now we might have two. Promote it so we can get more members, we single guys need to band together. Cause the women sure aren't going to. There may also be a woman's auxilary if we gain enough popularity. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-03-22 19:30:21 (edited 2006-03-22 19:35:55)
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To be blunt Jomunga, that sounds ignorant, do you think you could endure hell (or more acurately unending pain)? That ideaology makes suicide more of a conveinience then logical course of action. First off, if you experience depression, then you shouldn't consider suicide. I have witnessed extreme depression first-hand. When a bout of depression ends, you don't just do a complet 180 in whatever amount of time. The truth is it never ends, it might tone down a little, but its always there. My older sister has what doctors call Manic Depression. It can be something that you're born with, but you can also learn it. What's scary about it is it took my mom who is a nurse years to realize what it was. At her worst, she's always pestemestic, and if you confront her, she becomes violent. My point in all this is, Jomunga, a lot of what you said sounds a lot like what my sister would say, and I could swear I heard her voice in that last post. Before you do or say anything, I'm not trying to put you down, that's the last thing I wanna do, but please give my words some thought. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
 SkyAlchemist
on 2006-03-22 20:01:47 |
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I'm sorry I have to say this but, all those mental disorders that people say they have are just lame excuses for whatever their problems are. For me, depression is just another way of saying: "Somebody pay attention to me and now!" I can't believe or I'm not willing to believe that people can feel sad and angry at the same time or sad for no reason. I have gotten in many fights with Mako because of this. She says she's depressed becuase nobody notices her, that nobody loves her,...and some more stuff. I find it incredibly idiotic. One of the things that most caracterize her is the fact that she doesn't care about anybody (or at least she says so). But, if that's true, then what are her problems about? I just don't get it. I have seen this and other problems in other people. And if I were to think they would matter to all those who read this topic, I might actually write it all down. To Jomunga: So you don't seem to matter if you die right now or tomorrow, right? (That's what I understood). From what I have read before, you want to kill yourself but you want it to be painless as possible. According to you, anybody could kill themself just becuase they think "life isn't precious", and you plan to kill yourself once you think it's conviniant. (Tell me if I got an idea wrong) Why does it seem to me that your making excuses to not kill yourself? Heck, it's easy to say: "Life sucks, I don't like it, I'm stabbing myself tomorrow so good-bye everyone" but it is very difficult to actually thrust the knife into your body. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling to kill yourself just to prove I'm wrong or something similar), but, although I try to understand your point of view, I just simply don't get it. There is something in the way you make your statements that make me belive that you just want to create an argument here. Don't get offended by anything I'm writting (actually I hope nobody gets offended), I'm just trying to give out my opinion here even though I don't think I've acomplished that.     |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
DaedalusMachina
on 2006-03-22 20:06:39 (edited 2006-03-22 20:07:55)
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@Ninja - Sign me up for that shit. I ain't gonna wear that damned T-shirt, but sign me up anyway. It's high time I did things differently. Also... I thought I revived the whole "Suicide vs. life" thread, though nobody posted there, there sure are a lot of them here. I deleted a post before, since I thoght that perhaps the whole friendship diffusion thing was over, but now I have offical word that the friendship is ended. To tell the truth, I thought I'd feel much worse than this. ... I feel.... numb, I guess is the word. The whole endeavor was my fault, anyway, my past ways catching up with me before I knew it. I suppose next will be guilt, but I'll probably never feel angry about it. Angry at myself, maybe. Goddamnit... I'd really thought that I had changed. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-03-22 22:28:18
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Sky Alchemist: Yes, that's pretty much depression there. When people are depressed, they feel like no one cares about them, that it's all pointless, that life is a prison, etc., etc... And people won't get out of depression until they realize that people do, in fact, care about them. I and many other people have told Nightmare that if he died we'd be sad, and overtime it soaked through that his life has meaning to us and he rarely says he's gonna cut himself or that he's gonna commit suicide anymore. However... Ketsuki, I don't know how to help... ...And Jomunga... I kinda agree that your points of view sound kinda self centered... XD |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2006-03-23 17:41:51 |
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I've been very busy yet I thought I would drop in here and let you know what's going on. It doesn't seem to be an end to the proglems we are having in the near future. The local district attorney who was in charge of prosecuting Rangers citation has decided to send it to federal court. When we got the notice this morning Ranger almost went through the roof. The reason is the increase of fake police officers, I have no idea what that has to do with it, that's not even the case here. Add to that my brother has written, through Rangers cousin Clarke, he plans to be in the lo-desert arriving on April 1st, which is fitting for a fool. The reason for his visit is to get me to signb some forms. Clarke is going to try to keep him away from our place and if he can't I'll just go visit Rangers sister for a few days. Well see what happens. Fortunately the meds are holding only neither one of us likes the current situation and are just trying to make it until vacation. In the meantime Ranger's doing lectures and teaching trail safety again so that keeps him busy and there's money coming in. Still we shall probably not be back into the tour business untill the end of summer. That's abotu it. I do look in regularly and you noobs who think you can pull a fast one forget it. Love and kisses. Lady Rin  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2006-03-23 19:01:05 |
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Critic, bluntness is often the best way you can tll someone your opinion. Doctoring up an opinion is like deep-frying oreos, not only will it kill you in 5 minutes it's not that good. Manic depression can be a cripling ailment. I have seen a good many people in the middle of a depression atack, it's the kind of thing you see when you live in my life. I'll be the first to admit that my life is a walk in the park compared to others, but I have had many a rough spot on the ski slope of life. Though with each patch I have simply kept on trugging though it knowing that on the other side is nice fresh powder. Skyalchemist, depression can also be used as a defense mechanism. Much like any defense mechanism it is triggered, and responds to, certain stimuli. Most depression is caused by lonliness (the sense of the abscense of being wanted or apreciated) so the idea of depression being a defense mechanism for attention is not far off base. Depression from other ideas such as loss can be derrived from the idea of being alone, and this is not limited to depression many common psychological ailments are derrived from the lack of social contact. In essence the brain needs social contact to both mature and to remain stable. This is one of the many reasons why people dislike being alone or without a comfortable medium to be in. Daealus, As soon as I have the money to buy a shirt I'll be sure to get one for you. All I have now is about $40 in Sheetz cupons(lots of free food, but no money). Also threads have a way of doing that, but they always comeback up every three or four weeks. You don't need me to tell you that you're going through denial, you did that on your own. What you Rin,  You have no idea how long I've been waiting for an occasion to use that picture. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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DaedalusMachina
on 2006-03-23 19:30:49 |
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@DirtyNinja Denial? Perhaps. As far as making new friends, I usually leave that to the fates. Course the fates haven't been to good to me lately, so maybe I should try another tactic. Getting rid of basic cowardice should help, too. Cowardice played a huge role in the problem to begin with. I don't mind trouble, really. Tranquility... doesn't appeal to me. That word reminds me of 'tranquilized' and I hate the idea. You win some, and you lose some, and that's fine by me. Bring on the bad times, I dare them come. About money, tell me about it. I work in a goddamn chicken factory for chrissakes, not to mention traveling 60 miles roundtrip to get there. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Really, I am not gonna take hell into my thought caculations. The whole concept just seems proposterus. I think every thing just happens because of cause and effect. I don't think there exists a person who is evil, only people who do it. It is no ones fault they are evil, so they shouldn't have to go to hell. If such a place exists I wouldn't endure it, I would conquer it and renovate it. I think logically suicide is as natural a death as any other. It just cause and effect that I think this way. I don't have manic depression I can tell you that much. Skyalchemist, don't underestimate mental disorders. The chemical imbalances are more than you think they are. I can assure you that the last thing a depressed person wants is attention. Whenever someone accused me of being depressed I would completely deny it. I am only telling you about my vision on suicide because depression took a vacation. There is alot of types of depression, if they are depressed because of a lack of attention then just give them some more attention. No need to kick depressed people while they are down. I have to agree with Dninja on the lonliness thing though, sometimes you want attention but you aren't getting it from whom you want to get it from. Skyalchemist, you understood completely everything I said about suicide but interpreted it wrong. I ain't dead because life doesn't suck. Right now I love life, life is great right now even without a girlfriend. While typing this post, not once has my smile disappeared. Just to me life is a very casual thing. I live it casually and I will end it casually. I am not offended, because you views are quite insightful. I will make this vow right now. And I NOT break this vow. When I kill myself I promise to be smiling, maybe even laughing. If I am not happy when I am about to kill myself then I won't do it. Vow over. Kinda self-centered? My vision IS completely self-centered. That is a fact. However, everybody has selfish points to them, things they won't give up on or compromise. Its all part of being stubborn. You will notice that most people don't listen to advice, be it good or bad. But if they hear it it can still affect how they act. Anyways enough rambling about that. Noobs? Lol. Thanks for filling us in, I am glad Ranger is back on his feet. Dninja scared me with his pick. I am changing my sig today. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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i just got back form a campout, so ill be brief because im VERY tired... Sachiel made a good point...you guys have helped me... Depression IS a illness, tust me...and being a pessemsit with little to no self-esteem is really hard.. no im going to go before i fall off my chair form exasustion... |