|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-02 20:45:41 |
|
"I'm more responsible than you are. At least I don't get pregnant when I rape someone. May I ask where that came from? I don't find it the least bit funny even if it's supposed to be. Ranger's meeting with the park service turned up a number of interesting things today. Add to that a phone call between him and two of the other guides and PST (Jerry). Basically the guides who have been cited, the park ranger said "Either pay the fine or go to trial, I'm not going to appear". It turns out that PST is the one under investigation and in order to protect himself has been mouthing around that Ranger and Jeff have been giving him a bad name. Jeff and Ranger can both re-apply for permits and they will be processed as soon as possible. They even got an apology over having their previous permits revoked. In the meantime Jerry has divorced himself from three guides effectively putting all three of us out of business. When Ranger called him this evening I listened to a pack of lies being said I couldn,t believe was coming from a person who is supposed to be our friend. Ranger is going to be out of work for at least two months, Jeff longer. That's going to mean a third less money for sometime and that always leads to further problem that can take a long time to recover from. I guess we won't be doing a lot for awhile. Right now he's depressed, angrier than I have seen him for a long time, even angrier than he has been for the last several weeks. I also now realize something, what it is like to be alone while in the same room with him. This is something new, only starting to happen in the past few weeks and now I'm at a loss because I don't know what to do. Neither of us know what to do. Everything shall work itself out only because of the time it takes to process the applications there is going to be noithing for awhile. I dont know how I am going to cope with him being trapped here everyday. I shall do my best. Because if I don't we shall truly fall apart this time. He has tried for the past four years to become the best only to be stabbed by his friend. the last time tis happened he left engineering to becoe a guide. I don't really know right now.  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
|
|
Thing will work out Rin don't worry, about it. Just don't do anything that will put you in too much debt, and try to cope. Anger will eventually fade to sadness, it is then that you have to support the ones that you love who are sad. I am studying emotional behaviors, and characteristics, and I have found that people often feel better if the ones that they care for are not sad, or worry beyond practical reasoning. In other words just relax, and try to comfort the ones that you love, and care for. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by overlordsero
on 2006-02-02 22:46:38
|
|
Hey Ketsuki, I have a crappier memory than YOU!! HAHAHAHA!!! wait a minute...O_O should I be laughing at that!? oh well... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Lady Rin, just hang in there, I am sure things will get better soon ^_^ I let people see the happy me, I rarely show anything else.... even if I am feeling that. So others can feel better and not worry. 
|
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
|
Kay, ah, thats much better than copying and pasting. We all love engrish. Nightmare go around saying "I am romantic!" in Detroit and have a good conversation with the first girl that doesn't laugh at you. Anyways enjoy camping, its becoming a Nightmare tradition to camp. Dninja now alright? Or Cleanninja. I would like a word with the people who disrespect you name. This helpfulness reminds me of the story Momiji read. To helpful for ones own good. It was a good story. Ketsuki, next time you see Kitsu. Keep your cool, I am sure she doesn't at all think what you said to her. Just be kind and reply gently it should be easier on both of you. You still have a very complicated relationship though. Rin, you still have your teaching job right? Is that enough to get by for the next couple of months or is Ranger looking for another job?  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
|
|
heh actually, if i whent around detroit saying i was a romantic, id probibly be shot...i donbt go downtown much...but it is a nice thought, once my parents lighten up a little and let me go places, im just going to be myself and see what happenes...theire might be a girl that does not laugh at me... and camping is with the Boy Scouts..out troop goes every month...i LOVE camping!! Rin, im truly sorry about ranger and the permits and stuff. i would tell you to hold on and everything will be alright...but you already know that. i know that you will hang on...love prevales.. im praying for you both always...just remember your love for each other and show it during these times...warm hugs and gentle kisses...good luck to both of you...keep me apprised of the situation!  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-03 05:27:10 |
|
I do teach and Ranger does have his air force pension/disability. So we will be able topay the base bills. However it does mean no trip to Kelso next weekend and a lot of other things. Mei,we don't have a lot of debt however there's still 2 car payments to be made. We can do this for a short time. The problem is, and you will learn this as yu get older, that it can take a long time to recover after one spouse loses a job so to speak. The money that came in Rangers job is the difference between doing extra things like going out to a nice dinner or theater. It also means if an emergency comes up that needs money to take care of the problem you can find everything you have put away, gone and it can take years to recoup that loss. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-03 08:13:15 |
|
@ @nightmare,to the camp?i was invited to one but i rejected it.too tired to even walk...hope you enjoy yer camping trip^^ @jomunga,hmm sonething's odd about the sign...it's like the trasnlation for it is...haywire?o.O so what does it means not to get muddy on the track? |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-03 15:43:25 |
|
I have made too many mistakes and have been rejected by too many people both online and offtoday. I fought with Ranger and Ky, I fought with Wendy and now I feel I am fighting online at all three forums. I'm very sorry that any of this happened. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-03 18:36:11 |
*hugs all around* 
|
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-03 18:56:18 |
|
No that quote was not funny in the least. As to its source, it came from a google search. When I typed in my name to see if there were others that used it came up as a result. It is because of things like that, which provide me with due process to change my name. I would prefeer to not share anything with people who would say something that repugnant. As far as an alternative call me what you wish just as long as I can tell it's me your talking about, anything should be fine. Rin, don't wory you have commited no mistakes. Don't blame yourself for what others have done to your family. I can imagine the stresses that you can feel at this time. Never forget that even if you fight with everyone you can not destroy what you have been with for many years. Your family will always be there, your stresses will not. Anyone here can say that even if they belive that their faimly hates them, they still accept and love you. These rough time will more than assisist in the furtherance of the strengthening of those bonds. To place an anatomy analogy, when you stress a bone it will, over time, become stroger for it. The same is true of family ties, the more stress a family is subjected to the stronger it will be in the end. However, always keep in mind however that the largest pine will fall while the most modest of palm trees will remain standing. In the keys, where one of brothers live, the palm trees have a habbit of outliving the steel power towers. This is due to the palm trees ability to bend to an extent that would splinter other substances. This is what keeps those who "roll with the punches" in good spirits. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be a pine be a palm. Not just the tree either, be open and willing to accept. Also money should not have a bearing on your life, the world is not a coin-opp ride infront of a store, you don't feed it quarters to keep it going. Monotary systems are worthess(pun intended), they place importance on the value of objects not their worth. I have exspirianced a life in which we had little, so little we didn't have to pay taxes. I'm still here, I don't worry about it, ever. Money is not as important as your life, never let money overpower your sensibility or your love. Too much stress never did anyone any good though, that I know all to well. I suggest you let your emotions out, nothing breaks you down more than pent-up emotion. Again I know it all too well. Watch a movie, a good one at that, try to relax, and keep yourself happy. That should go for eveyone, not just Rin, relaxation is important. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-03 20:31:10 |
|
That's not it. I had big argument with Wendy and she actually told me off today and I called her names. I pretty much the same did the same thing with James and did some things that I perhaps should not have done and now he's angry with me. there's more a fight with Deb and one with Holly and another with Wendy and more. Even Ky and I had an argument today. Ranger disappeared altogether after we had an argument this afternoon that has actually been going on for several days. He grabbed his overnight pack and just stormed out of the house about 4:00. It seems I'm just doing things and fighting with my friends and those I love just to fight. I feel I'm losing their trust somewhere. I don't do that, it's not me and I really feel I'm losing control. I burned dinner tonight and I burned the brownies as well. I think all of this is the result of being betrayed by Jerry this week. We are out of business and for the first tme in years one of us is not working. I have committed a lot of mistakes, against my friends this week, people who I love dearly and for that I feel terrible. I am in a panic over Ranger and don't know what to do other than to sit here and have another glass of wine or two. I still need to eat something and I want chocolate so I'm going to have to do that again. I burned my double boiler last time so I'm going to go clean it now and start over. Wendy and Holly, I'm sorry I called you names. Deb, I'm sorry I broke that glass on purpose in the store this morning. James, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you first. Ky you are my son, you can't do anything wrong. Ranger, I'm sorry for fighting with you please come home I love you. There are others, only they are the most important right now. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by night_link
on 2006-02-03 21:30:20 (edited 2006-02-03 21:31:36)
|
|
Lady Rin, everyone you apologized to understands that you're not the kind of person to tamper with people's trust. For me, sometimes time helps ease arguements. Dunno if that really helps for you. I'm not saying not to worry about Ranger or anything, but like you said about the double boiler: just start over. I think I'm not helping... BTW Jomunga, yeah I found my mistake some time ago thanks for pointing it out. Break time's over. Back to the books for me. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
|
|
As long as your sorry and pay for the glass then all is well. Just don't tell us make sure you tell them. Yes there are numberous crazy engrish translations in japan. When eating at Mcdonalds in japan don't forget to use the...  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-04 04:30:56 |
|
@jomunga,hmm... it should be 'Please let me be used by 3 or 4 people'...it took me a few minutes to understand what it's talking about o.O @lady rin,i'm sure everyone will understand the things you did and forgive you.especially family members^^ today's a bad day for me.i've the cold gain and it's my 12'th one this year.i just wasted 2 boxes of tissue paper and the waste paper basket is overflowing with used tissues....i felt a little better after taking a nap but i'm still having a hard time to breath.seems like my nose is completely blocked >.< |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-04 05:48:26 |
|
He didn't come home last night. I didn't sleep well despite the wine and Xanax and I woke up crying this morning when I saw his side if the bed empty. I'm alone and right now I feel very insecure. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-02-04 11:13:11
|
|
See Rin, your problem is that you depend on others too much. There are two ways to look at this problem, the Tales of Symphonia way and the Peach Girl way. 1: Dwarven Vow: Don't depend on others. Walk on your own two legs. 2: This peach seed will grow into a wonderful tree. However, it needs the ground, sunlight, and water to help it stay alive. Both are important. When you're young, it's totally the peach seed way. However, after you get older, you slowly learn the dwarven vow way, and eventually you should be entirely on it. However, I've noticed you haven't used that Dwarven Vow much at all. If Ranger dies, leaves like he has for a while, or anything like that, you have a complete mental breakdown. This isn't healthy. I'm sot saying to forget about Ranger, but quit leaning on him so much. It's unhealthy for you and Ranger...  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by
on 2006-02-04 12:54:06 (edited 2006-02-04 12:54:45)
|
|
Ranger came home about two hours ago and he is now sleeping. Before he went to bed he apologized for making me worry and that he left because he didn't want to fight with me anymore. Ky would have never found him in the park since he was in Pipes Canyon all night, that is a special place for the two of us. Right now I'm just relieved he's home. Some of my girlfriends came over for awhile this morning including Wendy to make sure I was alright. On the otherside; you are wrong, I don't depend on others, I depend on Ranger and I know how totally dependent on him my life has been since we met. Using cliches he took me in when my life fell apart and has cared and loved me since. I can't help it. *glaring* I am also painfully aware, and thank you for reminding me, that barring an accident to myself he shall pass from this plain before I do. I think I am prepared for that, only I won't know until that time comes. This is different however. He has never done this before. I mean he's stormed out but he's always told me where he would be and he has always answered the radio before. He's never just disappeared for the night without saying at least something about where he would be. I am worn out and have been sitting here watching him sleep and now I'm just trying to keep busy. So maybe a few posts or something. I know what he's going through right now. For the second time in 15 years he has been serioulsy betrayed by friend. We are out of business completely for at least the next 30-60 days and being a tour guide helps to keep him stable. Without the tours he bocomes a madman and that's what has happened. Ranger places great faith in friendship and trust and he has always been very careful on those he allows to become close to him. Jerry was one of those people. Uncorrected |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by overlordsero
on 2006-02-04 13:01:47
|
|
well it is good he is home... I dont feel worried anymore
|
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
Link |
by desertranger
on 2006-02-04 18:29:09
|
|
I made a couple of posts, one in the betrayal thread and the other in relationships redux. Let me see waht next week brings. Roght now Rin is calling me to dinner. Logout, NO TV, lights low and candles wine and a trip to the hot tub after dinner. Rin I really am sorry. I'll make it up to you tonight. :) |
|
Re: The Depression Thread Continued
|
|
im glad that you are back home ranger, im also glad that you and lady rin are not fighting anymore, hopefully it will stay that way(even though i know arguements happen), so neither one of you is worried or angry or hurting. also (i know its a selfish of me) i dont want to see the only persons that have shown to to have a little hope on love fighting, that kinda makes me lose hope, but im really happy that you two arent fighting anymore. ケイ, hope you feel better soon, and that you dont get any more colds i knew that being happy to long was gonna suck, my depression is starting to kick in again, i had to force myself to go to work, although it was a little relaxing to chat with my teacher, i know im gonna be ok, and i will be happy at least for a day after two weeks, im gonna be in NC in two week and i will be albe to see my friend jessie, i havent seen her in a long ass time. im always happy when i see her. i found out something interesting yesterday, my ex still likes me, or as she said still loves me, i feel bad about it. when we were together she was the only one that made me feel confortable, but then she dumpped me, besides the fact that the reasons why she broke up with me were nothing but lies, she didnt even have the heart to tell me herself, i found out through kitsu, and it was kitsu the one who was there to help me get trought with all the anger i had, i still care for my ex, but its over, its not the same as it was before, i told her that, that it didnt matter if i felt somthing or not, cuz things between us had been over for a long time. that she ended it after i had done so fucking much just to be able to be with her. i was told that she cryed on the way home on friday, i felt bad cuz i know it was my fault that she cried, but i was not going to lie to her, i had to be honest. i wish they would all forget about me, forget that i was there at all, to be as if they never met me. i want to get away from everything. death was on my mind all night last night, but im to affraid to go through with it, im not affraid of dying, im affraid that im leaving something important behind. if i was sure that i wasnt leaving anything, i would do it, but im not sure, everytime i want to do it, it feel as if im about to leave something or someone important to me behind. life sucks, nothing i cand do about it, but bottle it up and keep on. |