|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by animezsuki
on 2005-12-24 21:38:15 |
| I know I am going to die, but let's just enjoy what we have now instead of worrying about the future. Live life cool. Remember, there is only 2 paths in life, Destruction and Eternity. You know where we're headed, but the current is more important. |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
|
ranger, it wasnt till recently that i started to live life the way i wanted to, before i was just who i was told to be, and now i am me. i would have stoped living my way, but then i came here, and met everyone here, you and rin, and as much as i hate to say that now i have some hope, i do, and i thank you for it, you, rin, animeangel, nightmare, and everyone here. i guess im just trying to say that, thanks. eric, you are right, the current is what it is important. some quote says that the destination does not matter, it is the journey, we should enjoy. or something like that.  |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by
 
on 2005-12-25 00:37:42 |
well not exactly revenge i just want to show people theyre wrong. and i guess you can say im mad at peolple coz they keep on destroying nature but they say its for the better even if what they do isnt really helping but rather destroying. it seems like they cant see the beauty of something for what it is and they keep on trying to change it and in the process making things worse. 
|
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
|
i see, well, since its to protect nature, im right there with you (except im not doing much). |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
|
"why work to perfect a dream when you'll just die in the end." Because during life I want as much fun and happiness before I go. Just because I am bound to die doesn't mean I shouldn't work for my dream. I would like to grasp my dream, and enjoy it as much as I can before I die. Why not work towards the perfect dream? If you are gonna live might as make it as enjoyable as possible, if you don't you'll still be living but it will be all the more boring of a life without obtaining your dream. My dream is quite simple, loving girlfriend plz. Why wouldn't I work towards that? If I didn't I'd still die in the end, just alone and unhappy. I contribute to nature, my family owns an orange grove, so we nurture 1000s of trees, is that nature helping or what. Plus all the oranges you can eat, at least during season.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by
on 2005-12-25 07:51:34 (edited 2005-12-25 07:57:52)
|
|
Ranger has two jobs. one as a Tribal-ranger for the Indians and the others as a eco-tour guide. To us protecting Gaia is part of our lives. Neither of us can stand watching developers building everywhere in the desert. They're going to build from one mountain to the other until the lo-desert valley is covered in homes. Eric said, " Remember, there is only 2 paths in life: That's not true. There is also the path of love, peace and harmony. Answer some questions: Ketsuki, Alyssa my garden faerie came with that name and she has lived here for 10 years under the hummingbird feeder. Angel about my wedding. I didn't even know what Ranger and his friends were up to. We were actually married in an American civil ceremony on the AF base and then in an English civil ceremony. That was all I thought my wedding was going to be. For our honeymoon he took two weeks leave and said we were going to go to Florida with Faye and Vlad, friends of his from the base. That's why we were married on base so I could travel as a military wife. When we arrived in Orlando he told me we were going to Disneyworld for our honeymoon and that thrilled me to my very core since I had never been and Disney=faerie tales. On our first morning there he said that he and Vlad had to drive to Homestead AFB and he gave me all the money he had and said to spend the day with Faye, buy what you want and he'd be back that evening about 5:00. I was more than a little shocked and disappointed that he would leave me on the first day of our honeymoon. Faye and I went to get our hair done and asked me if I knew I about the wedding that night. When I asked her whose it was it, she said it was mine and that we had about 10 hours to get ready. I can't even describe how I felt; shock. surprize, wonder... absolutely everything had been arranged right down to my wedding gown, lingere and glass slippers, they were really plastic and very uncomfortable. Faye was my maid-of-honor, Vlad, Ranger's best man and frineds of theirs stationed at Homestead AFB as the Honor guard. Ranger wore a mess dress uniform, the same one he was wearing the night we met. It was then I found out how efficient and relentless military people can be in achieving what they want. Faye told me the entire thing was put together in less than three weeks. She also told me that Ranger pulled a lot of strings and called in a lot of favors to acomplish this. In my mind and heart that's when I was married. The gown and slippers are packed away and I'm going to wear them again on our 25th anniversary when we renew our vows at Disneyland in California. Being more pragmatic about faerie tale weddings, since even dreams and wishes have to be paid for. Ranger eventually told me our wedding cost $8,000US in 1983 dollars. Ranger used all of his savings and sold his car to do it. Even some of his friends help out. That's about 12-15,000 today I guess, the cost of a new car then and today. I have gone to weddings costing a lot more than that. Expensive weddings are not limited to to Hollywood and the rich and famous. Today people go into debt to get married, that's the price of love. I looked at the cost of weddings at Disneyland and their standard packages start at $25,000US for 100 guests, that's not a bad price when you look at the package.. I'm sure they can put together something a lot less expensive for a small intimate ceremony, I shall have to find out. Ketsuki said, " there was to much pain to belive in faerie tales, and dreams." Kotsuo said, ""why work to perfect a dream when you'll just die in the end." That's how I felt when I met Ranger, it's different today. I can believe and make faerie tales and dreams come true. All you have to do is make it happen. Today's faerie godmother is cash and her magic wand is the credit card. Even if you do moderately well you'll have several. That means a castle' Yes, Yes, I know, it's mostly undeveloped dirt with a house one corner in the middle of a harsh hostile desert. I love the desert and even the deserts need a princess or two. Yet inside it's the way we want it, the way I want it to be. I can dress anyway I want and feel how I want to. Last night I was very depressed over Mu and how this is going to change what I had planned for Rangers birthday so I wore a . renaissance gown to feel soft and comfortable then sat next to Ranger. I don't care about the money, Mu had to come home. I also care about Ranger's birthday and now I have to change those plans. Not all dreams and wishes come true and we have had lots of them smashed over the years. Now, should I sit watching TV or do something else? I like doing something else. Everybody here (RL) says I'm different and I live in a dream world, some of you say the same thing. I like being different ad there's nothing wrong with a dream world as long as it doesn't interfere with what you have to do everyday. Once I'm home I don't care what happens outside, I care about what happens here. Anime, faerie tales and dreams have replaced CNN, sitcoms and reality programs. I'm like a lot of you, I would rather stay in. Ranger won't let me. That means I have to logoff. Merry Christmas  I feel very  and full of  since Channukah starts this evening. uncorrected  |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by AnimeAngel27
on 2005-12-25 08:08:14
|
|
KAWAII!! That is so touching what Ranger did to get your fairy tale dream come true!! Even glass slippers to add the finishing touch, that's just so, so AWSOME!! I've never been to the desert but I'd like to imagine what it would be like. I'll bet it's nice though. There's probably so many exotic plants and wildlife that I've only heard of before. My path's are a little scrambled right now, but I'm hoping that one day soon I can sort them out and find the one that leads to love and happiness. As well, last night must have been the night for major depression across the US (or at least here at gendou) (Although I'm still depressed but I'm getting better) I was depressed as well as Rin. I'm so sorry about Mu Rin. I feel for her and I hope that the both of you can overcome this. When's Ranger's b-day? Merry Xmas and Happy Channukah!
"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have any film..." "Friends are the people who know everything about you and still put up with you!" "Nothing in life is free, even death costs us."
|
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by
on 2005-12-26 23:56:32 |
|
I would just like to start by saying that this forum is so full of such love and caring that one can't not be inspired by the people on this forum. they say that a person's life is shaped by the expiriances that they not only exspiriance but share with others. I belive that this forum is how many people have done this. Also said is that many hands make for light work, by sharing your true emotions, and feelings with those arround you you can reduce the weight of those feelings on your self though others. As i have read this thread i too feel as if, just by reading it that many of the pent up emotions that have dwelled in me with no outlet have sprung out like a torrential waterfall. Since I was born my parents have always worught the idea that i could do better. I was always their little child-protege ever pushed to do more and more. I lost my father when i was very young and have very few memories of him, but I still fell sadened when I recall asking my mother why my father wasn't at the kitchen table during dinner. As I would later be told this was the roots of why I am the way I am. A few years after this i changed schools leaving behind the friends I had grown up with. This was to be the cause of my inward turning. After that I never really made any new friends thinking what was the point i would end up losing them anyway. As a result i was incessently teased and harrased by other students for 3 agonizingly long years, adding to my seclusive nature. Also during this time my mother began to work for General Motors in Detroit, we lived in PA. I saw her 1 1/2 days a week including the time we were asleep. During that time i slipped into depression, i locked myself in my room, over ate, and became very ill. With no one to truely support me i began to think about suicide. Although i thought about it i never actually tried about it and as if cyclic it made me more depressed. And as a recurring theme in these posts would seem to indicate you can always com out of whatever hole your in. I belive the only reason i am still siting here writting all this down is that i met someone who truely cared for me, and in an intrieresting side note was the main reason i got into anime. She helped me regain compasion in my life. I whole-heartedly belive that she saved me from my depression, but in a twist of fate we moved away, leaving behind the connection i had just formed. My life at this point again i fell into the deep recesses of self hatred and depression. At my new school i found that there were people like me who just needed some friends to hang out with, and in a turnaround that even hollywood coundn't come up with i found what i had needed the entire time, friends to support me, not just with words but with actions and self conviction that let you know they mean it when thaey say "I'm there for you." I now sit infront of glowing computer screen in the dead of night pouring my heart and soul out into people's caring arms and knowing that even if i die tomarrow i know (and by "know" i mean with my heart and all my being) that there are people out there who care for me, and that is what we all need to find, and no one kowes it more than me. So Rin and Angel and antone else who reads this and says "you know, i think i can connect with what that persons saying," dont just sit there and keep your feelings pent up in your heart pour them out, let others help you, because the many are stronger that the one and there is at least one person who cares about you in this worlrd so let them know and help. *whew* now that i got that off my chest i feel alot better. i know that was a horible cliche ridden piece of work, but you know there had to be reason for cliches or they wouldn't exsists. As i said before i got into anime because of that one girl who showded a little kindness to the loner in the corner and introduced me to anime and without her i wouldn't be posting this or, mabey not even be here a all. To quote Rin "There is also the path of love, peace and harmony," I belive in that too (insert witty animation). I also belive stongly in the movie "pay it foward," so i feel that if i help people the way others have helped me then they can help others, ect. I may still be youg but that dosn't mean that i can't have the wisdom of somone 3 times my age, but at the cost of social skills of a 5 year old. It's getting late so i better wrap this up, to quote the great yogi berra "90% percent of this game is half mental." |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by
on 2005-12-27 05:18:25 |
|
It seems you have been a member here for some time and you are more than welcome to join us. Your life is not so differdnt from many people here and that is what we share in common regardless of age or sex. I personally find it very sastifying that there is a forum like Gendou and there are few, if there are any others, I have found that are like this Gendou. *hugs* Please come visit more often. |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
| That is why I like it here @ gendou! |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by overlordsero
on 2005-12-27 09:18:14
|
|
Thats great dirtyninja, that you know people care for you. No matter what someone some where cares for you. I myself have been down the path of suicide, wanted to many times, tried to 3 times but didnt. I also grew up without a father, kinda. When I was 4 my parents divorced. MY father moved out. I dont know how many times I got to see him. All i remember is that he hardly ever came around to see me and my bro, for years at a time. Then he would disappear again. Currently, all i know is that he is in Kansas with his mom trying to "straighten" out his life. I havnt heard from him in I dont know how long now. I never really think bout it much, my mom raised me, and I had to kinda be the "father" figure a bit for my younger siblings. I always helped out. I did have a step father for a bit....but...thats just not the same. My mom divorced him too. I dont have many friends and my best friend leaves, for the NAVY, the 3rd of jan. And i probly wont see him again before he leaves. We have been friends since teh 6th grade. He was the only friend I kept in touch with and went to their house. So I'll be alone for a bit...and I have 3 weeks of break!! This break is gana suck...but things seem to be going well with her so.... I got sick of being all blah blah blah....so I turned out this way. I am optimistic, funny(I TRY), relaxed, and just a caring person. I like to help people, it makes me happy. I play runescape and I help people on there also with the game. And i swear, everytime I help someone they have to give me something...I DONT WANT ANYTHING. of subject sorta. When people are sad im sad, etc etc etc. I like getttign people to laugh also, it brings me so much joy. heres a funny blog answer I got: "In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. " Thats funny.....hehehe. heres a couple more: "You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you. Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. " oh and this too: "Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it! " Sorry if you want me to edit that stuff please let me know. 
|
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
death pwns everything.  |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
|
Yes death pwns, I wish I were a shinigami. According to FMwoS I can if I commit suicide. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
|
Life is only a temporary thing, while death is enteral...We should never give up on anything
("-_-)=0(#)'3')
I'm so werid (^_^)
(>_<)
Feel the wrath of my feet!
|
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by
on 2005-12-27 13:28:18 |
| Yes...life is temporary! If you believed in God, it is said that your soul will have eternal life!! >_< |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
|
um....im not caltholic, i dont belive in god
("-_-)=0(#)'3')
I'm so werid (^_^)
(>_<)
Feel the wrath of my feet!
|
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
|
Hey Sero, you play runescape too? So do I and my username(as you can guess) is Kotuso. I'm like level 40-45 I dont really remember. Hey what's your username? |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by
on 2005-12-27 21:49:07 |
|
i was looking though my calvin and hobbes collection and i belive i found an interesting quote. Calvin- I don't understand this business about death, if were just going to die whats the point of living? *awkward pause* Hobbes- well there's seafood... Calvin- i don't know why i even talk to you befor dinner you never know how something so inconsequential as a simple comic strip can provide a well needed boost to your morale. |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
|
| Whoa, I thought only I read Calvin and Hobbes. It's funny,isn't it? |
|
Re: Life vs Suicide
Link |
by
on 2005-12-27 22:10:23 |
|
I just got the ultimate collection for Christmas it's great it's like the evangelion of comics in that its funny, has a kid with serious problems, makes you think, and has a religious underpinnings. exept Calvin practice "tension relife" and thers no penguin. |