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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-22 11:15:22 |
Found out today the cost of a procedure to lessen the pain, yep, 10,000$. Now I'm feeling MUCH better about how things are going for me.>.> Maybe I should just kill myself emotionally[Someone I know online actually suggested that. I'm starting to think it's probably my only choice.]    |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by overlordsero
on 2006-11-22 20:42:51
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Well I remember that basically the meds just allow me to hopefully delay the need for me to have another surgery. Cause I will have to have another surgery. Its a given so I hope I have enough by then XD Im already in debt with loans which i will have to start soon and not too mention its gana take $1050 to fix the car. Well Happy thanksgiving to all! XD though its not quite that yet...but i probably not be on tomorrow so yeah XD 
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@ michiyo- i really understand your situation. im not the kind of person to tell people that im not okay when i have my problems. its hard for me to open up to people and sometimes, i'd just rather run away from the problems. and yeah, i dont want them to worry about me. i guess we're idiots sometimes. i am happy almost all the time, but sometimes, i also feel down/sad/empty so suddenly and i dont know why. then, i'll just be alone and cry it all out. then i realized crying wont really help. its just like some temporary relief. what i usually do is find someone who'd listen to my rants, anger and stuff. i also talk about it to people who i really trust, especially to ishi. sometimes i just dont feel like talking about it, but i forced myself to let it all out to him. like, every little things, every details. when you've listened yourself talking about them, you might realize what are the problems actually, how much the problems affect you and how you're gonna solve the problems. this way really helps me feel better. @jonathon, its good that you've accepted your conditions. just enjoy your life then, and make the best out of it. we're all gonna die eventually regardless of sickness or age. sickness do make us sick physically and emotionally, and sometimes we cant cure it. but we can help make ourselves feel better, just do what you want to do. being a little bit selfish is wonderful sometimes. @sero, hey its been a while! havent talked with you lately because im busy with school and stuff. good luck on your car and everything! and happy thanksgiving, even though i dont celebrate it :P  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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I really have no useful advice at all, im just going to agree. When my parents say "fix it" or "learn how" they expect me to magically change just because they told me to. I have no intructions on how to fix it and no ones is teaching me to learn, so what do they expect? Well, they expect me to do it right, but when I obviously don't because I don't know how they get mad at me. Its like telling a person with no cooking skills or knowledge to make Thanksgiving dinner without instructions. Certainly one wouldn't expect them to get it right at all. While I am on the topic, Happy Thankgiving. I know I got plenty to be thankful for. I'd say this would be my most thankful thanksgiving ever. Maybe next years will be even more thankful if Honeyko gets here. That package I sent was a box full of Xmas presents, but I needed a buy a card to go with it. I think the pictures may just be sitting somewhere in the box beneath all the styrofoam peanuts, but I know I forgot to put them with the card in the envelope. It sucks that everything is unaffordable. These days a dollar won't go far and people can't even make enough money to support themselves. Jonathon; you know if you could, killing yourself emotionally may help, but I doubt you can. I tried to just be happy all the time, that didn't work. you really cant change things about yourself so easily. It hard to just change your brain. One can have everything in the world and still be depressed just because their stupid brain makes them so. I envy those who can be happy for no reason. The ones that can smile while doing their school work. Or still be happy when something bad happens. Anyone else encounter the people who are just happy because they seem to have a brain that doesn't produce depression or sadness? Dark; bring a fan to school, and if any kids get out of line then just smack them.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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gobble Gobble GOBBLE death! ---Professor Frink between great food, great folks, and the Thanksgivving day Bondathon on Spike TV, what could we be depressed about? ...supprisingly alot.. to pame, welli have never seen that anime, but i know what your talking about, the ending of Air made me cry, so did Sakiano(i actually only watched that one because someone told me it was one of the most depressing anime's they had ever seen)...but my oppinion is that an anime like that means good writing and good voice acting....thats why i LOVE Sakiano for the awsomely written plotline, and it looked sweet , and the voices were amasing! now i'd love to comment on the rest, but ive got stuff to do... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-23 11:05:07 |
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@Jomunga- Actually when I say kill myself emotionally I don't mean be one way all the time, I mean stop feeling anything from now on. I can do that, on the outside at least havn't tried internally, but it seems it's easier for me to feel nothing than it is to feel happy, warm or whatever. Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point, I may go out and as yuki said live life to it's fullest now, or I may just end up sitting around rotting and waiting for my time to come doing nothing differently than before or even living life less. Hell, I might even die while I'm trying to decide what to do knowing this. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-23 11:14:58 (edited 2006-11-23 11:15:44)
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@Michiyo: I do hope you tell me your probs....i do care for you. Always did for my close friends..... @Sero: you too man....do me a favor and tell me your probs? makes me feel wanted and needed @Jonathon: i know your probs.....T_T if i can help you at all....you promised to tell me....you better not have lied to me man.....plz tell me if there is something i can do 
I prefer being alone so do me a favor and leave me be.... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-23 11:18:30 |
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It does my heart good to see so many people here. Well, allow me to wish all those here a very happy Thanksgiving! Best wishes to all! Celebrate this occasion with a turkey!  I've got a lot of catching up to do...it's the Wii and FF12's fault... Well, see all of you later. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-23 11:18:26 |
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@Moon- Well I already said there isn't much anyone can do, unless you find some magical pixie dust somewhere that makes my life feel perfect and carefree.[Certain illegal substances would have the same effect but only for a short time.XDlol] |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-23 11:52:16 |
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Jomunga, I know a few people like that, but I know they can get very sad when they are alone. It seems that people who you see happy all of the time are often very depressed when they are alone. You can't tell most of the time who those people are, but at some point you just notice it, not sure how but you do. Nightmare, just might go check that out, the trick is finding it... Jonathon, well there is one magical power that can cure even the saddest moods. That being love. I'm not saying that you should go out a marry someone, what I am saying is that you should find a cause for yourself and love that cause. Find some objective in your life and head towards that goal. Giving yourself purpose is the best way to bring your life to fulfillment. Even if you live a very short life, if you live it with purpose it will be that much better. To be remembered is to live forever so as long as you do one thing that affects another person, either directly or indirectly, you will be remembered. It is at that point that age loses bearing, because a person who lives to be 20 can accomplish more than a person who lives to be 80. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-23 13:49:26 (edited 2006-11-23 13:53:14)
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I really have no goal to strive for, nor will I find one in my opinion. I've lived in the same little town for my entire life[Another 5-7 years for the University I want to go to and the job I'm going to train for] so I've seen everything there is to see and done everything there is to do in my tiny little world. I can't afford to travel[Or at least very occasionally] so I'm stuck here for a while, a pretty long while. The only thing coming up soon is me moving into an apartment in the city near my town[For more University stuff]. Loving something won't really solve or help my problem, because it's a something. As for loving someone, well I don't have anyone to love. Yes having a goal to reach for might help, but at the moment there really is no goal to find. There's not enough oppertunities open to me and no place to open them.[The place I used to practice swordplay for example was closed and due to weapon laws in the town I can't practice anywhere else.]. Also, being remembered isn't really up there on my things to do list. It really doesn't matter to me if I'm not remembered, of course I'd be thankful if I was, but it's not really something I'm going to lose sleep over. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by overlordsero
on 2006-11-23 22:28:15 (edited 2006-11-23 22:29:16)
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Well I dont really remember most of my probs and plus they arent that serious. And yeah I may have a higher chance of not waking up in the morning or what not. But I really dont have the time to really think about it and i dont think its that big of a deal though others probly do. Well the whole family on my moms side got together for Thanksgiving, got there at like 12pm. Had lunch a bit later, turkey and phesant and mashed potatoes and corn and etc XD. Then we played and talked then our cousins opened their Bday presents, we celebrate theirs early cause its at there house and its only like a week away. Then cake and pie XD and then more playing and talking until like 10pm. wow...sorry i rambled XD anyways hopefully my car will be done soon probly will get a call tomorrow and oh joy i get to work on BLack Friday <.<
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
 
on 2006-11-23 22:58:29 (edited 2006-11-23 23:00:30)
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Oh Sero me too...I have to work tomorrow...Black Friday!! I hate it...9 HOURS!!!!! Ahhhh... Well right now...I'm mad, sad, frustrated...a mix of emotions... My Dad is so annoying sometimes... I really have problems with him...I mean...It's always his way...He is always right...when obviously he is not...He can get through his mind that I'm not 5 years anymore. He still treats me like a little kid. I hate it! Why can he get it? I'm 19!!!! Not 5!!!! Like if i ask him..can i sleep over at my Bub's house (My best friend). He says No...you have a house...You are not allowed to sleep over at other people's house... WHATEVER!!! Why can't I? Everyone does it!~!! Why can't i? Ohhh you are Peruvian...we have different customs...(THAT'S CRAP!, it's a bunch of BS) Then...today...it was the Thanksgiving dinner...all my family was reunited...and then as always...he gets the great idea of me singing...Like ALWAYS , in the family reunions (To be honest...I'm a little tired of always singing in the parties..I mean...They always make me do it...and the same freaking song..The Bodyguard...I will always love you....ALWAYS!!! I'M SO TIRED OF THAT SONG NOW!) So...i had to go and grab my cd case...but the cds were not there...So i went to check in the radio...and my cds were messed up...Apparently someone was playing with them, so they got scratched. I told my Dad...Look I'm sorry...Can i sing something else? *Noo...you always do this...Oh so you think you are too good to sing for us? You always do this...You are stupid...you alwys lose your cds and blah blah blah... I tried to not make him angry...so i went and burn another cd, only to please him...and what does he do?... He went to his room, closes his door, and says it's too late...he doesn't want to hear me anymore...that i'm a stuck up, stubborn person... I WANTED TO THROW THE DAMN CD AT HIM!!! I'M SO TIRED!!!! I REALLY WANT TO LEAVE THAT ......HOUSE...AND MOVE OUT!!! I'm sure he will explode at me if i mention the idea of moving out...He will go crazy...Who knows...But i just can't wait...I'm counting the days to be out of here...go to Peru and then to Colombia...and rest...rest from my own father! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Hey Pame. I know the feeling. My dad is an ass. Actually though, as of late I really surprised we haven't fought. We usually like throw things at each other and my mom is the ref. I've been close to moving out. All I do is just shut myself in my room, crank the music and study Japanese or play piano or write etc etc.... Had a crappy day at school. Good day at this vollunteer thing. But, soooo tired. Gonna talk with Sero then go to bed *yawns*
woot
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by zparticus27
on 2006-11-24 00:13:10
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hmmm wow people are really getting depressed... @michiyo...hey we may not be that close but always remember you have friends that you can lean on... @pame hmm parental problems...well i usually fight with my dad too and...maybe your dad is just to fond of you to let go...i guess you should talk to your dad right...you dont want your relationship with him to be bitter do you? |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-24 01:39:00 |
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@Michiyo/Chi: Exactly what zparticus says
I prefer being alone so do me a favor and leave me be.... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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just wanted to drop by to say that my second "Date" whent resonably well...ill have to let you know about it. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-24 17:56:36 |
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Thank you guys!!! Zparticus: Talking to my Dad is like talking to a straight wall...He just can't reason...But thank you... Schala/kid: That's what i do...i get inside my room, lock the door and put music...It works uh? |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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on 2006-11-25 17:35:50 |
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Nightmare, glad to hear it. Reasonably usually means there was room for improvement, but at least you didn't get a shoe thrown at you, right. Jonathon, I'm sure there's something for you to devote your life to, it can be as simple as keeping your stuff alphabetized, or something more worthwhile. Just find something that you can have fun doing, but chances you have one. You just say you don't. I'm willing to bet that you care for this forum, am I wrong? You do a good job in the threads I've seen you in so there's no denying that you like this forum, the time you spend here is testament of that. I'm also willing to bet that you will be remembered for many things. You may also have changed someone's life, how's that not being remembered. In my book you just need to stop being so pessimistic about your situation. So what if you could die tomorrow, you've still got today, right. We all could die tomorrow, it's just a matter of accepting our ultimate end and embracing the here and now. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-11-25 19:18:44 (edited 2006-11-25 19:30:27)
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I remember the first depression thread. It's not so much that I am depressed it's that I was injured in an auto accident for the first time in my life. I managed to drive for 20 years without a single scratch to me or any car I have ever owned. It happened driving down the mountain road we call TheHill. I drive it every day and it can be very dangerous especially in the dark or when someone wants to pass you. I'm stuck in bed and can't move very well and everything hurts.  It happened on my way down near the end of the video I have attached for you at You Tube. Ranger took when we drove down one day last summer. That day I was driving down The Hill I don't like being hurt and I now understand all of the pain Ranger has to put up with, only his is all the time. If you live in that kind of pain, I now understand yours as well,  |