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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Wait... how did you know there was someone else, I never said that did I?
Mutsumi loves you and kisses you all!!!! Exept for the guys, this mutsumi no kiss guys ^^
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by zparticus27
on 2006-09-17 18:45:19
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| well i her someone else!hahahaha joke... just guess it...i said IF she has someone else meaning if she is in a relationship with someone or has some one else in mind than you...hehehehe just cheer up dude!dont make the same mistake i did...getting all depress al over a girl...hehehe i know it hurt...but life goes on... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Too late
Mutsumi loves you and kisses you all!!!! Exept for the guys, this mutsumi no kiss guys ^^
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-17 19:00:56 |
| Kotuso's back, I missed you here, love squishing and all. While for once I do have to agree with you on this one. Don't waste all your time on one girl, if she routinely turns you away she probably doesn't want to see you as her boyfriend. I know a lot of girls who would never want to see me as their boyfriend. Why? because I'm too nice and carring. We nice guys don't start really atracting girls until theyve had enough of the dangerous guys. That could take a while, but eventually they see that you're a better choice in the long run. After all wouldn't you like to spend your life with the person you love, not just a few months. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by zparticus27
on 2006-09-17 19:10:56
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good one d ninja... that should have happened to me!hehehehe why is that girls find the "bad boys" worth thier time and the "gud guys" as comfort zones hehehehe! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-17 19:43:31 |
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Hahaha, D'Ninja. I see a new face here, Welcome, Mr. Moogle. I haven't been here for like a day or two, but here are some news that happened to me so far this weekend (well today is Sunday). I found a site that has my family members and family tree, which gives proof I'm Japanese. I saw one of my (male) cousins, but nother the other one. I saw my aunt who I might be moving in with after HS and all, you guys know that long long story, but I have to call my aunt, who I met for the first time yesterday so she can give me the contact to Japan and all. Good thing they speak both Viet and English. I would mostly go for the English but it's weird coming from somone other then... my younger sister... When I was at my uncle's, to find out all that info, I was using his way-fururistic-faster computer, then when I got home... you know what everything is would be... it was like a HUGE difference in speed... I didn't get to draw or do my first Japanese lesson (self taught) today, so I do feel down about that. I made my own forum on Friday because I was really bored and it looks ok for now (like the boards, color scheme, and stuff) so here's the link for that: I'm currently working on changing the icons and stuff, and I might make more skins, and I might also change the default one now. To Gendou: There will be no talk about you, this site, or the mods whatsoever, on my site, so I hope I don't get banned here because I love this site, very much, honestly. ^_^ I gotta check some other threads here, then get to bed soon. Hope everyone is well. See ya... 
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by night_link
on 2006-09-17 21:59:12
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Ni Hao everyone! Checking up really quickly before I get back to studying for math exam tomorrow. Linear Algebra, where we take matrixes to the next level... Hey nice to meet you Mr. Moogle. Enjoy your stay here. Well D-Ninja... No more Mr. Nice Guy then! But I guess it differs with the girl's preferance... My routine nowadays is Tuesdays and Thursdays spend some time at school with Lynn. I look forward to those days because I can actually relax a bit and walk around campus with her and not worry about a thing until school hits me again at 4:00... Uhh... 7 classes ain't fun... Back to the world of matrixes... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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im back! me and kotuso think alot alike...we understand alot more that most idiots! (oh and by the way...its good to see someone who can at liest understand Futhark Runes!!! are you wiccan by any chance? or you just like writing differently?) im so pissed because of the kids at school dont take things seruiously when i game after school....and my dice hate me too...  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-18 15:17:38 |
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Can you even go through school without a single day of not being pissed off? That's like, impossible or something close to it... Forget that link to my ex-Forum, I'm currently editing my new forum now. Presented by: Invision Free. I'll post the link later... ... and welcome back you two. ^_^
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-18 15:28:25 |
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..........T.T.......... GAH......-_-;; ......ignore me 
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-18 15:34:36 |
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I've sent all members on my previous forum a link to the new one (still under construction). *Nap Time* ^_^ My mind is really starting to hurt because I read so damn much in school. The only thing I wanna read is my J'books and I have to decrease my "Lazy Factor" soon.
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@Nightmare, the runic in my avatar are of my own personal intrests, not native to me or anything.(I'm from the South U.S.) I've memorized the Runic converted English alphabet almost completely, still memorizing the last 10 runes. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-18 18:49:45 |
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Kai, don't stop being nice or anything like that, you'll just repell them at every turn not just for now. Good luck on your new forum, hope it does well. May you nap for many hours and have sweet dreams of forum management. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by S-a-c-h-i-e-l
on 2006-09-19 19:54:24
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Pardon the interruption kudasai... But Anime Angel hasn't posted here in what feels like ages, and she hasn't replied to my emails making sure she's okay, and the email I just sent to her was sent back saying that her aol account was never used so it was deactivated. Last I knew, she was having to go back to the hospital for more tests and such, because she was sick (again)... Is anyone other than me worried? :s  |
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by night_link
on 2006-09-19 21:52:22
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That is serious Sachiel. But other than just wait, I don't think there's much that can be done. I was wondering similar kinds of situations before I asked members about what would happen to everyone else after time... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Hi everyone I know this is out of no where but I'd thought I'd put this in to help people who are suffering the same problem that I use to have. This is my story of my life this year........ I use to be depressed for 2.5 years cause I didn't have much friends in uni, let alone them talking to me that much, in other words I went through a social stagnation. At the beginning of the year, I just lost all motivation to do things and even felt like giving up on life at times. Luckily I told my parents about my depression and my dad helped me by bringing me to what they called "Toastmasters". What is Toastmasters? It's a social club. You give speeches about whatever you want and the people are really friendly there and try to give you helpful feedback to help improve your speaking. It's a positive environment. Toastmasters really helped improve my confidence in speaking and gave me the confidence to try talking to people once again. Toastmasters is all over the world. http://www.toastmasters.org/ You might not believe this but I recovered from my depression a few months back. I finally decided to leave uni in mid year, cause I didn't like the course I was doing in the first place and I did pretty bad in it as well and well as having some personal problems as well. Never made it pass the first year in uni though T_T. I've decided to go to college or what they called TAFE in Australia and do "I.T.". I wasn't too confident about making friends there as well. But 2 weeks before the start of the semester, I was determine to at least try. I had good peperation. I hanged out with the friends I'd already had and tried talking to my contacts on msn that I'd hardly talk to. I took risk, lots of risk. I'd even planned what I wanted to say on paper by writing it out and try to predict what other people were going to say and how'd they'll respond to it and rehersing it a few times and tried memorising it. Finally, TAFE started, I wasn't too confident when going on, but I tried to look confident, be myself, and took risks. I'd even tried smiling and laughing a lot even at little things. My plan was just to hang out with a small group and kinda tagged along and tried to be involved in there conversation sometimes. After a few days in TAFE, I felt happy and was on a high, almost everyone that I'd talked to talked to me, and people were coming up to me and wanted to engage in conversations with me. I felt really happy and relieved for the first time in 2.5 years. And even started to express emotions naturally which I didn't use to do before. My studies improved a lot, although my course was really easy, we'd just learned about the basics of a computer both hardware and software. Now thinking back a few months ago, I had exceeded all my expectations. Now I'm almost friends with everyone at my course and I do talk heaps with confidence, now even some of my jokes are funny and I made the class laugh a few times. I've even could hang around 2 groups and change around them if I wanted to. The last time that happened was back in year 9 for me a few years back. I'd started to appreciate the little things in life and thats what made me feel happier. Overall I finally feel happier and relieved and still can't believe I've actually gone this far. Though, I might still have problems, at least I'm doing something about it. I don't make that many excuses as I use to. I'm always asking people I trust for help and advice in my problems. It's not being dependent on them, it's just that if you can't find anyway to solve it or unsure about your method you should ask them for advice. I think of it as a learning experience so if the problem happens again I know what to do and I can help people with my experiences as well. So to summarise what I just said: My transition from being depressed to happy and relieved was because: -I went to Toastmasters, they made me feel welcome and it gave me the encouragement to start speaking with confidence again. -I took risks. -I tried showing my emotions more, both happy and sad ones. -I had peperation, 2 weeks prior to the start of my college semester, by hanging out with friends, talking to friends online and trying different stuff. -I'd planning on paper and reherse what I was going to say. -I ask people for help, no shame in that. -I appericate the little things in life and thats what makes me happier. I know this sounds deep and you people are thinking like WTF all of a sudden this guy talks about this stuff. But I'm just trying to pass on my experiences and let people know that there is hope that things can change for the better no matter what. Remember don't make any excuses and always keep trying and don't be embarrassed to ask people for help thats what some of them are there for (e.g. counsellors, people in this forum :) )  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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*Thumbs up. Personaly I have trouble talking to people too. Offline that is. But normally I am not looking for friends either. I do like toast and I may give toastmasters a try if I ever need to improve social skills. But the last thing this world needs is a Jomunga speaking with "confidence" online and offline. College is going pretty smooth for me. I'm not making any friends, but not trying to either. I am outgoing with my appearance, but I am surprisingly quiet and converse akwardly. I like being a loner I guess. I wanna get in and get out of college quickly. So Funsch, are you gonna topple the next hurdle and see if you can ask a girl out? I am rooting 4 ya!  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-21 19:35:36 |
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Ok who ever says the world isn't cyclic isn't looking hard enough. Funsch, you're not the first person to post something like that. I know that I did about pretty much the same stuff. Don't think you're alone in this world at anupoint, because you will always have friends here or anywhere. You never know who thinks of you as a friend until you ask them, or even if you do know never to the extent. Sachiel, Those series of events are not good. I hope she's alright, and isn't too terribly sick. If I remember correctly she was pushed to finnish school on time, so I wonder if the stress from that made her sick. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@JoMunga Why not? It's always cool to see people talk with confidence both online and offline. If people see you talking awkwardly they tend to move away from you. Thats what I use to be like and that was probably one of the reasons why I didn't make much new friends, let alone them talking to me. Jomunga are you really happy with the way things are in your life? When I didn't make much friends and went through depression, I'd always use to run away from my problems by watch anime, play video games, and watching TV to zone out. But I found in the end you can't run away from your problems and it just makes it worse in the end. You see I nearly ended my life cause of this. But luckily I told my parents about my depression and my Dad did something about it. He recommended me to go try out Toastmasters and thats when I grew in confidence. My mentor (yes every new member is assigned to a mentor, whom is an experienced toastmasters) helped me a lot and once I overheard him saying that he was surprise how'd I'd improved so much in a short period of time. That was really flattering what he said :). Well Jomunga as I said in my previous post you should take risk and try different stuff and plan it out on paper and try to predict people's responses and reherse it. You got nothing to lose since you don't really have any friends. Thats how I felt when I transfered to my new college. I didn't really have any friends in uni, so when I went to my new college I just tried different stuff and knew that I'd had nothing to lose cause history showed that I don't have a good record of making friends. So there was no pride lost for me and that gave me the encouragement to try out different stuff and see how it turns out. But I am happy things turned out really good. I'd had exceeded all my expectations and up to today I still can't believe I've gone that far and all I had to do was make a few changes to my social methods. A trick for me was to see my strengths in topics. Mine were Anime, Soccer, video games, power rangers and I tried to talk about them. When there was no conversations my trick was to ask them are you interested in this topic and see how they respond. If yes, then start talking about it. Or another trick is to show your interest by talking about it. E.g. I watched soccer last night. And another trick is to get people to ask you questions. I said I use to go to uni before I'd went to this college. And they'll ask what uni and I'll answer them and then they'll ask what course you did and I'll answer that as well, and I'll also try to add more stuff in by saying stuff about the course that I did, e.g. I said I didn't really like the course cause it was too hard, we did stuff like Laplace, multivariable calculus and I failed a lot, etc. Or just be more direct, like ask are you into "this topic". And the most important topic is about yourself. Talk about yourself like your experiences, your ambitions but try not to bring deep stuff all of a sudden out. If people ask you, you can talk about it if you want to. It lets people get to know you better. I've found a few friends that I can relate to in college cause I'd talked about my experiences and we became more closer than before. But remember if you do talk about your experiences sometimes it may let people know your weakness and they might take advantage of it. But saying that don't let it discourage you. Remember every human has a weakness, well thats what one of my friends in college said. If you need help cause people are bullying you cause of your weakness don't be afraid to go to your counsellor and ask him/her for help, thats what they are there for. Go to my other post here: http://gendou.com/forum/thread.php?thr=13831&ent=295398#295398 It shows how I dealt with what I thought was a bullying experience, see it, it's interesting. Anyways, but mostly people try to emphasise with you and they might understand why your acting the way you are and what you been through and that way they might treat you better and excuse you for the way you act. That way you can talk with more confidence to them cause they won't judge that much on how you talk cause they understood what you've been through. Well Jomunga, it's up to you if you want to take my advice, but at least consider it. As one of my friends in college told me, he'll give me advice but in the end the decision is yours. I'd hope what I say could help you. To summarise what I just said: -Don't run away from your problems, face it head on do something about them that'll pernamently solve it. e.g. ask people for help like some of us or talk to your counsellor about it. -Remember you got nothing to lose so use that as an encouragement to try different stuff out, but plan it on paper before hand and reherse it. -Look at your strengths in your topics and try to bring them out in conversations. -Most importantly talk about yourself and your experiences and you might find friends that can relate to you. If you're open then people might be open to you. But remember some people might take advantage of your weakness, but don't let that discourage you cause they have weaknesses to. Go to my other post here: http://gendou.com/forum/thread.php?thr=13831&ent=295398#295398 It shows how I dealt with what I thought was a bullying experience, see it, it's interesting. -Finally it's up to you if you want to take anyone's advice the decision is yours but at least consider it. Well Jomunga to answer your question earlier, yes I was on a high when I couldn't believe things were turning out good for me in college. I decided to take the next crazy step and ask a girl out on college who was doing my course. Well not really ask her out, but try to be friends with her and get to know her better first. I ask a lot of my friends for advice on how I should approach her. They told me to just listen to her and sound confident. Well I didn't really follow all of there advice. What I did was just try to let her get to know me better first. I said hi my name is such and such and she responded. It didn't go according to plan what i expected her to say. But she actually helped me. She ask the first question like what I did before and then I went on telling her about my uni experiences and my opinions. And in the end I apologise to her saying sorry I talked too much. She said "it was cool". So I did the unthinkable I ask her if she knew about toastmasters and she said no and I explained to her what it was and told her that my confidence in talking grew cause of it and then I told her there was a speech competition going on at the same day and if she would like to hear about it. She said "OK". So I kinda made a fool of myself cause my speech was suppose to be humorous and part of my speech was i tried singing the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers theme which was part of my speech and yes I'm a bad singer and no i'm not going to type the words of the theme out. The rest of the speech was me impersonating different characters. OK my humourous speech was based on the youtube video clip called "The Lost trigun auditions" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO4onFPIMcI. But all I could get out of her was a smile. Well when my speech was over at least she clapped and at least she didn't make fun of me from then on cause of the speech I gave. Well the next two days I tried talking to her whenever I saw her and I found out she lived in the same suburb as me. So after class I ask if she could give me a lift home and she said yes. Woohoo! Anyways we got to know each other a bit better during the ride home. Well I told my friends that gave me advice about what happened and they were pretty please and surprise at my progress. I was talking to one friend and he was the most helpful. He invited me over to my house and gave me lots of advice on how to approach women and he even lent me borrow a book on what you should do to approach women which I didn't read that much cause I'm a lazy person. I'd even brang a notebook to copy what he said. It was a good learning experience. But one thing he told me was to make sure she didn't have a boyfriend. He said the trick was to joke around with her, by saying so you went out with your boyfriend in the weekend. So the day came, I saw the girl I was interested in again and I told her about my weekend and I ask what she did on her weekend. I knew that she could have a boyfriend and I was prepared for anything or so I thought....... I was going to ask her the question but she'd answered it for me. She said she went out with her boyfriend. I was in shock and kinda depressed, I knew it was going to happen but I couldn't stop the way I'd felt. It was like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-v-_HTtzWw. I was like the goalkeeper and I knew where the ball was going but couldn't stop it. So I just said I'd have to go and saying goodbye to her. Man, I was so dissapointed, I didn't know why. I'd expected the worst but yet I felt really upset. So as soon as I got home I told my trusted friends about what happened and how'd they deal with it when it happened to them. One said he worked out like crazy and channeled his anger into execrcising like crazy. So I thought I should channel my anger into playing Pro Evolution Soccer 5 and it worked. I hammered teams by 5+ goals. Finally when I calmed down, I thought maybe she knew I was dissapointed and thought I was crazy about her. Which I wasn't really. So the next day I'd decided to clear things up with her. That was my biggest mistake when I saw her I told her how I felt about her and that we didn't have to talk to each other anymore if she didn't feel comfortable with it. She said it was alright and we could still be friends. But after that we'd hardly talked to each other. She probably felt that I was a bit too direct with her and that was the biggest mistake I made. Well now when I think about it, I don't really seem to care too much about it, cause no one expected me to go this far, let alone know how to talk to people, so i'm happy with my achievements so far in my social life. But what was good was when I went home I told some of my trusted friends about it. And one of them introduced me to another girl that was friends with him for a long time, offline that is. Man she completely blew the girl in my college away. She shared the same interest with me in soccer, she wasn't just interested in it but passionate about it as well, just as I am. She said she was pretty depressed when one of her favourate teams got knocked out on the 2006 World Cup. So we had long conversations and she was a pretty nice person as well :D. Anyways, we're still talking online up to these days. Damn I'm talking uh typing way too much, damn I could write an essay on my life experiences if I wanted to. LOL actually I did it already :P. Anyways I think that answers your question on me trying to approach a girl. It's still a new experience for me, but at least I'm trying different stuff and taking risk. I don't care what the girl thinks of me, if she doens't like stuff about me then I know she's not the one and I'll keep trying. But after a while if I'm still failing which I hope won't happen then I'll sit down and draw up a new plan! So what I learned so far about girls through me experiences: -Don't talk too deep and assume the worst. -Don't try to clear up things, when unneccessary. -Try to find a common interest -Who cares, take risk, and be yourself, if she doesn't like you then she's not the one for you, but after a while if you're still failing which you probably hope won't happen then sit down and draw up a new plan! Anyways, Thanks Jomunga, Sorry if I upset you by some of the stuff I said above, but I'm happy that you'll consider going to Toastmasters, really if I could help me, I don't see why it can't help you as well and good luck in achiveing your goals in the future :D @dbt11 Thanks man! That means a lot to me, I'm glad I can find people like you that I can relate to :) |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-09-22 19:59:33 |
| I've had the same problem with one girl, actually it's not that dissimilar. The only thing is that you have to get over the fact that she has a boyfriend. So she knows how you feel about her, at least she knows right? It would be a lot hardere to even talk to her if you harbored any feelings for secretly. I told the girl how I felt and almost stoped talking to her all-together, that's the worst mistake you can make. Once you tell her how you feel don't start apologizing for it, it makes it look like you don't really feel that way. Keep those lines of communication open and try to say hi to her everyday, eventually she'll be single again; when that happens you'll be the first one she comes to. Sometimes you have to think about the bigger picture, and not just a few weeks down the road. If you truly love her then there is nothing that can change that, just because she has a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't still like her. |