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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-10-08 23:07:13 |
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@ Anke-sempai - Erkkk..sempai...can't...breathe.... Ahem. Anyway, about the poem... Wow...sempai, that was an impressive analysis, as expected from sempai. But, its not about suicide sempai, that's for sure. I'd never write about suicide, because I don't understand people who would do it, and never will. If I did, then the words would be someone else's word, borrowed of the accounts of others, not mine. So I don't. I always (most of the time) contrast the mood of my stories (or poems) near the end, just to make readers think, not to force the point or conclusion on them, but to have them find it on their own. It also works as a nice device for plot twist, to throw the reader's expectation out the window(in a good way). It can be used to show the good side of negative things, and can reveal the more sinister side of...people. Ahh anyway, what I just explained is my preference in writing style, not describing the poem itself though. In summary, my poems are just strings of words, it's meaning is up to the reader. Technicalities aside, yes, the way you described it is quite accurate. But that last phrase you said, "as a true friend"... Is it really the decision a true friend would make? Maybe, its the other way around? Maybe he's the one who couldn't bear to share the pain? Well, thats a food for thought. I love food for thoughts. Oh noo... why do I always go into info-dumping mode...? @ Toyumi-san - Thanks! I did put a lot of thought into it, it was based on a story I'm making right now. (I see you're writing a novel as well). Well, I'm not writing it yet, I'm busy perfecting the tree diagram for relations of each character and organizations. (Its looking a lot like To Aru Majutsu no Index to me). The story-telling would be Durarara/ Baccano style, that it jumps around from the perspective of each characters, and they all become intertwined towards the end, where a grand finale will take place... Argh... I went into info-dumping nerd mode again! 
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-10-08 09:26:59 |
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@ Wizard - Welcome back *hug* I'm glad to see you're back. I'm not on much now that school has started and my classes are really taking up most of my time. It's too bad, haha. As for your poem when I read it I can't help but think about suicide. Although with the stanza at the end I peer into a different meaning one that is a little closer to my heart. I think you are trying to show someone that there is still good in the world, that there is still beauty in pain, and that life is still worth living. However, they've gone cold and numb to the world around them. No matter how much you pour your heart into them, and show them how to love they just don't get it. Perhaps they even start to blame you for their pain? So you can't handle their constant negativity anymore and finally you have no other option than to just give up and let them continue on in their cold numb state. A decision I find more heart breaking than loosing the friend, simply because you know they will never be happy with or with out you, and as a true friend that is all you really want for them. @ Toyumi - They are kind of lyrical aren't they? Hmmmm no I didn't intend it to be so lyrical but I was sitting behind my X-boyfriend in history staring at the back of his head and remembering how soft his hair was while I wrote it, and I was probably humming 'our' song. :"> I'm a terrible romantic and I pull myself apart because of it.  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-10-07 11:57:09 |
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@ Anke- Thanks! But I know it's gonna be awhile, I hardly have any time to work on it now with school and stuff XD And your poem is really nice! It sounds more like lyrics to me, but it's still nice! (Is it supposed to be lyrics? XD) @ Tifa- I like your poem! It's a lot longer than your other ones, and it's very nice! @ Wizard- That's a great poem! It seems like a lot of thought was put into it, and it definitely has a lot of feeling. As for the discussion topic... Math? No. Never. Poetry and math doesn't mix in my mind. And it never will. I fail with math. And I don't fail with poetry. Again, no. XDDD  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-10-05 23:56:35 (edited 2010-10-06 00:14:46)
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Hello. I have been gone for quite a while. I have went on a journey to enlightenment... Ehh sorry just joking. Hmm where to start...? @ Anke-sempai - Hey sempai!! ~~~ヾ(＾∇＾) Did you miss me? Hmm.... Ah crap, I lost my coming back speech script. （￣ー￣）. I'm dropping by to post a masterpiece(well not really ï½¢(ﾟï¾ï¾Ÿ) ). Let me know what you think okay? Glad to be back! @ Toyumi-san - Ehh...I read the last post I made and your reply on it. My disappearance might seem like because of you complaining （￣ã¸ï¿£ï¼‰. But really its not. Ahaha sorry if it seemed that way. Toyumi-san, you can't stop my creative impulses with your complaints! Muahahaha (￣▽￣)ノ!! (I'll shower you with my poems! Take that..! (,,#ﾟДﾟ)). Glad to be back Toyumi-san! And...to everyone else... Nice job writing your poems! There's a lot since I'm gone...I'll take my time to read them later... ______________________________________________________________ Discussion Topic : Err... Math? I'm not good at math. Anyway, I seem to look at math as something cold and mechanical...I can't use it to convey feelings. So it seems very unlikely I would use math. However...it might be interesting if I write a poem that does sound mechanical...like a robot's point of view ahaha. Hey, this inspired me...maybe I'll do something about it. ___________________________________________________________________ Now, here's my piece: Title: Beyond the Winter Snow You may have failed Again and again as the unforgiving blizzard howls You may have cried Over and over as the merciless snow falls Betrayals, quick and cruel it strikes true Singing your march,symphonies of rage and rue One after another they weight your shoulders Accumulates like nothing else matters They ruthlessly weigh upon you That you stumble in the snow Carrying them from day to night to noon It feels the world just might end soon But is it really? Really that heavy? Stop a while and take a break Take the time to just look back Are the footprints carved there Nothing but suffering made bare? Strain your eyes a little more And you might see the magical score They sing the battles you fought, scars you left Victory or loss matters not The fact that you walked on Tells of how strong you've become Yet, how come you won't take another step? Can you not see what lies beyond? Are you afraid of pain to bear? Isn't that our oath, the shield that you wear? As I have fought battles terrible and bitter The oath, the shield, I need no longer I am not the weak person you once knew And now I can say this to you "If you cannot bear to see this through" "Then this is it for us, we're through" "I cannot walk and fight with you" "Who cannot see beyond the winter snow" _______________________________________ Ehhh its longer that I thought... I want to know what you people might relate this poem with. Later I'll tell you guys the story behind this, but I want to see how you guys make a story from it first!
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
 
on 2010-10-04 11:32:19 (edited 2010-10-04 11:32:39)
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Finally I am able to add somthing new to here. I haven't posted something in a while due to college and other things happening in my life. But nevertheless here it is. ^^ enjoy! I stand alone On my on Reaching for the throne. So close, yet so far Confined inside these Prison Bars. What of my Fate? Am I too late? Does Death have a date? This silent plea Inside of me Is more than it seems. To prove myself and see All that I Can be. I make my move I have nothing left To lose. I will claim my right Even if I must fight My birthright will be in sight.  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-25 17:24:12 |
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@ Rikko - I smiled at your poem! @ Holkers - I like that poem a lot! Haha, it's weird because I don't normally try to relate a poem's description to my personality, unless they were written about me (Chaotic's poem that I still love her for!) but I really have to say that the girl reminds me of myself. @ H - Thanks for understanding, yeah I can understand about the mood and how things can get lost in translation I sometimes have to translate things for a friend and he always says that it doesn't leave the same impression when translated into English. As for you poem... It's dark. It's a good poem, but I can't relate so I'm sorry I can't give any deep input or anything. Thanks for you compliment on my poem :) @ Toyumi - Thanks! Good luck with your novel!!! @ Yuuki - Thanks! A Little too Late Yesterday, you turned around and told me, that there is this voice inside your head. It tells you to turn around, and you say it sounds like me. You imply that it is deeper than that. 'Turn around' apparently means so much more. I think I think I know what you're getting at here, but I hate to tell you, you're a little to late. Boy, oh boy, you're cute. Boy, oh boy, I still love you. But Boy, oh boy, I'm better without you, and boy, oh boy, I got over you last week. Today you act normal, and it's like it was last year. To you I'm just back to being one of the guys, and you leave me at my desk. So do you want me back or not, cause I think I'm lying to myself. Boy, oh boy, I'm not over you just yet. |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-09-25 02:09:03 |
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@Anke ~ Nice poem. I like it :) @Riiko ~ Love the poems :D @All ~ Nice poems, everyone. :D  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-09-23 12:24:36 |
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@ H- Welcome! All of your poems are nice, and I get how you don't want to lose the 'edgy' feeling, but still try to keep it PG-13. @ Riiko- Both of your poems are very nice! I would love to read more of your poetry! @ Holkers- The lyrics are very nice! Although I agree with H and it sounds more like a poem to me as well. XD @ Anke- Very nice poem! It's long, but it's also very good! I love the ending of it too, like what H said it wraps the poem up very nicely. Alright, you probably won't see me post poems here for awhile. I'm working on this massive writing project. And I do mean massive, it's going to be a novel if I ever get it finished. Which, at the rate I'm going, will probably be in two to three years. But I will get it finished! Anyway, I'll still be here, you just won't see any new poems for awhile. XD |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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@Anke: lol sorry about that, but if I changed that one to something softer (eg: effin), it would totally lost the "edgy" feeling the original had. (in the original, I wrote it with hokkien curses and different Indonesian regional dialects, so it's quite difficult to translate that "straight-forwardly radical" feel to English) anyway, nice poem there. At first I was like, "Meh, overly long description?", but the sentimental ending wrapped it up nicely and made me smile, "Brilliant!" @riiko: I REALLY, REALLY love that kind of poem. It cuts away unnecessary English grammar and structure, and quickly goes to the heart of the matter. Short and seemingly abstract, but packs a heavy punch. It is a pleasure to read and feel the metaphor. @holkers: seems more like a poem to me? I like the last part, "like a towel hanging with the hook". It seemed like an "out-of-place" line, but it is very witty After seeing lots of poems here, I think I need to learn more about English poems, since you guys used lots of rhymes and structure (a beautiful finishing touch), which is way different than my style (abstract and radical). (as a side note, in my country, all of the poets don't care about rhymes and structure, we believe in maximizing the use of our poetic license) so here's something that I've posted on the first poetry thread a few years ago. Please spare me, I made this after I had a fight with my ex (which at that time was not my gf yet) -_-;; IGNORANCE THAT KILLS How great this world is To erase “Justice†from the dictionary Far greater am I To etch “I don’t care!†in my heart Impulse and reflexes That came from the brain synapse Have read the book “Forget the World†And consume drugs For just a moment of pleasure Let this earth be destroyed Should I give a damn? Swallow everything in the darkness Digest the world in emptiness Let me die For what purpose am I to stand Just carrying blunders Without effort and spirit God, did You leave a scissor Within my body when You created me? Leaving “Ignorance†That keeps ripping me from the inside Everytime I walk and talk
Gendou City Crossover RP! ~Coming soon~
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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Oh... I typed too fast then. Didn't notice that error over there. It sounds.. like a slow melody. Like the time everything slows down when you visited the beach, on sunset. Math poem. /did it, and don't like it. xD
I claimed someone that I can't remember because photobucket is ended.
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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I don't know about you guys. Is this lyrics or is this a poem? Maybe it's mixed together... So said my brain. You have a brown hair Making your face fair You wear glasses When you needed to read You scream when you're in A fight to defence But one thing I like about you It's when you are listening You have a smile That keeps the sun raise When the jokes reaches you You will laugh like a madman Depends on your mood You probably will not be down But one thing I like about you It's when you are listening Watching you dancing keeps me funky Pusing my problems away into the dustbin Staying inside repeating it over again Seeing how far you are away from me But you never thought of leaving me Like a towel hanging with the hook It's actually a song I'm working on. But it doesn't sounds so song-ish to me. Oh well xD
I claimed someone that I can't remember because photobucket is ended.
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-19 16:20:54 (edited 2010-09-19 16:23:23)
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@ Toyumi - "Earth" is an interesting one, shorter than most of your stuff but still I like it! :D @ Shae - I hope that poem applies to you in real life :D It's always nice when you find someone you can be yourself around and really open up too. I've never been one to hide behind walls, but I know how hard it is to open up because sometime being 'yourself' can really comeback to bite you. @ C - I've read that one before, and it never ceases to amaze me how your poems can always rhyme so well, and convey such a deep meaning. @ Jiekobu - Welcome :D Feel free to post your works here! If you want us to critique a poem just say so in your post. We're all kind and helpful here!!! @ Yuuki - Yey a new reader! Welcome I hope you enjoy our poetry, feel free to jump into conversations whenever you like :D @ H - I know you *ed it out, but I'd like for language to be kept close to PG-13 when possible. Anyway welcome to the club, and thanks for adding your poem! Always There The creaking boards, and musty smell, the silence of the forest all around. The quiet swish of leaves, the soothing patter of raindrops, the cool of winter, and the warmth of summer. The whirring of the fan, the crackling of the heater, the crunch of twigs under my feet. The scolding hot water that spouts from the shower, the freezing cold water that flows from the sink, the malfunctioning fire alarm, the blue glow of the clock. The snores of my father, the tossing of my brother, the sighs of my mother the darkness of night. The overgrown pastures, the purr of countless cats, the barks of numerous dogs, the neighs of horses, and the croaks of frogs. The black berries, the thorn bushes, the trees, the creeks and the ponds. The house on the hill, the hammock out back, the cheese and crackers, the ginger ail and laughs These are the things that were constant in my life, and they will always be there. |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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Aaah poetry, it's been years since the last time I seriously wrote a poem, I don't think I have any creativity left lol nickname: H specialty: stupid poems (sounds great in my mother language, does not work that well in English) would like to be a writer from all the poems here, I can see that you guys are serious writers, with mostly, uh... dark-ish... themes... so here's something I whipped up to brighten the mood beer on my right omnomnomnom mighty nomnomnom "Hi mister, enjoy being pregnant?" The crap talked, wait what? I slapped my confused self, "What the f**k am I doing now?" Lightheaded all of a sudden and the aircon is dead Ah the bowl is empty, should I fill it with piss? Let's take a long walk and return to happy happy Don't give 'it' to me now, I'm partying with mine Recollecting data and memories I've never been like this, swear I'm not eatsleepshiteatsleepshitfapeatshit wait something's wrong Nonono enough of this, the sun is up Thinking of it, we're on holiday, ya? Brain ejaculation, no I mean that Medulasomethingsomething F**K! Does it even matter now?! Allegory, no? Hyperbole rules! Hyperbole rules! Hyperrrrrrrrasdwhdekjf Spare me a few seconds to sober up !!!CRASH!!! My playstation fell I sighed, "I'm F**king Tired" "TL;DR"
Gendou City Crossover RP! ~Coming soon~
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-15 12:59:01 |
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@ Jiekobu- Welcome! You should read the first post to put your joining post in the proper format. But still, welcome! @ Yuuki- Welcome! I see you're a reader. Well, I hope you like the poems here! @ Shae- That's a very nice poem! I love it! @ Chaotic- Another long poem XD But still, it's nice. Very, very depressing, but it's a good poem XDDD |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-15 03:31:10 |
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I would like to join :) Nickname : Yuuki Reader Hosting link : Here |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-13 17:36:06 |
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The poems here are nice x3 I like the simplicity of some, and yet the much lighter tone is something that surprises me.... o-o Uhm I figured I would post one from a not so good day of mine... It's very dark, in a different sense than 'The Vicious Cycle'... so... just a forewarning. Poison Just keep injecting the poison into my veins, Eventually I'll get used to the pains... Forget that I'm sick, pale, and dying... I'm fine, really, just don't mind that I'm lying. So just keep shooting that bane, The drug that drives me insane... The drug to which I'm addicted and can't shake, This addiction to a slow and painful death is something I just can't break. Maybe I'm screwed up or something like it, Maybe I'm suicidal and my wrists are to be slit... Maybe I'm addicted to all the pain this gives, Maybe I like being assured every part of my lives. Each time I run and fall, Each time I'm so weak I can't even crawl... Each time is another reminder that I am still here, That I still live albeit in pain and fear. So just keep injecting me with this slow demise, The end I've long since begun to devise. I see an end, abrupt and full of pain near, This poison in me is beckoning death here. I welcome death with open arms and a smile, Feeling the cold touch and unspeakable pain all the while... Buy I don't mind it, I'm just glad this is the end, Cancel the next injection of poison they were to send... Then suddenly I'm awake again with cold sweat, Mind and body both in a fret... I'm still here: sick, pale and dying... And suddenly all I know is that I'm crying. So send for an extra dosage today, Not much longer do I plan to stay... Call me screwed up, call me suicidal, call me it all... But no matter what just back off, let me fall... Fall prey to the pain, Fall prey to going insane, Fall prey to breaking, Fall prey to crying, dying, screaming and shaking. So send for an extra dosage today, Not much longer do I plan to stay... After I dream of dying once and for all, I want to take that final fall... Albeit I love this pain, this misery and such, I can't stay here forever with this addictive crutch... So send for the final dosage once and for all, I want to take that final fall...  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-13 08:30:22 |
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Hey I would Like to Join I need to better my skills as a poet and this looks like a good place to start 
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-09 10:02:47 (edited 2010-09-09 10:03:04)
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In the start, I don’t want to admit anything Whatever happens, I’ll keep it all within myself I made up my mind to rather hurt myself than to let anyone know I want to appear as the good girl they all think of And hide whatever flaws I have to be what they expected me to be But when the day you arrived came, I let you know then let everyone know my true self I don’t know what happened to me, trusting you that much But you helped me overcome that difficult beginning Everyone accepted me for who I am Now, I believe in you because you’re that important to me Emptiness that covers my entire identity was filled by you I will not let myself down anymore as long as you’re my support Never will I hide anything from everyone I don't really do poems but I just had this urge to write this in a flash :DD Sorry that's only my level of writing for now but I'll certainly do better ones in the near future. JaNee~~ ENJOY :DD By the way, NICE POEMS EVERYONE. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORKS :DD  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-09-09 07:28:07 |
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@ Jo- Another awesome poem! I love how you compare life to a canvas, and all of the references to art! @ Riiko- Very nice poem! It reminds me of a part of a book I recently read too. XD Well, here's a poem I made during Earth Science yesterday, relating to Earth Science too. I don't think it's good, and it's short too, but here it is. And I hope Earth and breath rhyme. XD Rising, rising off the Earth, Up and up off the ground. No more gases, losing all my breath Up so high, ready to explode. But stopped, and then went down. Back to Earth, But then past the ground. Pressure rising in the deep ocean blue. Now I rise, To where I am safe. In this middle ground I got wise, Now on the horizon where I belong. |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-09-09 05:14:57 |
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@Toyumi I really have to spend some time reading through the poems. xp @Anke sama Thanks a lot!! Miss you all too~ :D Here goes my next poem. Actually, i did found out that my poems are mostly related to life.(X.x) Hope you all like this one too.*Do tell me if there is something wrong here and there* :3 Life Is ArtLife Such a simple word Yet it can be so complicated. Can I say life? Somehow like a canvas So plain and empty Other times It looks so dim As dark as the moonless night Cold and lonesome Sad and sorrowful it is. How nice if I could ever Make a change to it Shall I put some colors on it? A little bit of blue so peaceful, A sprinkle of green so serene, And a splat of red so tempting, An artwork, Somehow reminds me of love and joy. How interesting art is Changes as I wanted it to be How I wonder and hope Life is an art Not an empty canvas anymore. Yes! No doubt, I will say Life is my art I will change it as how I wanted it to be. 
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