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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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by
 
on 2010-09-02 11:04:12 |
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Yay! SAYURI Welcome to the Club. :D <3 your story~ so much ^^ ANIME19 Cliff Hanger. :D I can't wait for Chapter 2. :) ____ Oh well, we have no classes tomorrow, so I might probably post the 2nd part of Nocturne. :D yay!!!  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-09-02 18:28:07 |
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So I'm not really a member, but I wanted to contribute this. If you've ever read the Scarlet ibis by James Hurst, you can already tell what will happen at the end of this. I remember last year we were given an assignment to write from Doodle's perspective. My teacher found my work really good and decided to keep that as an example piece. However, I didn't get a copy, so I decided to rewrite it, and here it is! The rain began to pour, at first, it was light, but soon, it turned harsh. My brother and I kept running along what seemed to be endless road, yearning for the warmth and comfort of home that existed somewhere in the void of rain. Thunder boomed not too far away, and drowned out the sound of the rain, and our footsteps colliding with the puddles that had formed on the ground. Lightning flashed again, and soon, its friend Thunder was shortly behind it, chasing it like two children playing tag. My heart began to race, and fear began to fill my mind. My brother now was ahead of me by about 20 feet; it seemed like 20 miles. My heart, now filled with dread, and my mind focused on the thought of never returning home, never. I was distracted, and a hole in the ground caught my foot. I toppled over, falling face first into the puddles of water huddled on the ground. My brother just kept on running, like he was unaware that I had collapsed. I called out to him, Brother! Brother, don’t leave me! He didn’t stop. Tears began to fill my eyes, blurring my sight. Thunder boomed in the distance again. The dread was now fully over me. Through the dirty glass of tears, my brother seemed to stop; but he soon kept running. Was it my imagination? Was the fear playing tricks on me? Taunting me; laughing at me that there was some small hope? It didn’t matter… he was gone… off into the shroud of rain, leaving me alone. I crawled under a tree for protection from the harsh rain, much like a mother would shield her child from the rain, giving it warmth. The only difference was that there was no warmth to give. My heart, now beating like snare drum began to burn, not figuratively sleeping, it was burning, like a fire had begun in my chest. My vision was getting even more blurry, the fire seeming to spread through my body the more my heart raced. I coughed violently into my hand. From what I could see, red blotches covered it. The fire now consumed my whole body, and my heart began to beat faster, faster. The pain was immeasurable; the only thing I could think about was my brother… why did he leave me? Why did he abandon me? I coughed again, this time more violently than the last; the red splotches were still there from what I could see. My heart was now beating too fast for itself to handle, and I could tell. Brother… Soon after I uttered those words, my chest felt like it exploded. My body fell limp and bale, the only thing moving on me was the slow, steady stream of blood trickling out of my mouth. My eyes, still filled with water, seemed to stare into the distance, hoping help would arrive. It didn’t matter if it did… it was already too late… 
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-09-03 05:27:21 (edited 2010-09-03 05:29:28)
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Yey! I got my preliminary grades in humanities and I'm happy about it. I felt like sharing it and continue my performance. Before our teacher showed us our grades, she returned our previous quizzes. The essays and poem I thought to be messy had a smiley face on it =) This adds to my joy a while ago. In one of the quizzes, a painting was flashed on the screen and we had the choice to make a poem, letter, drawing or anything with the painting as our basis. Since, the first part of the test was objective type I only had 5 minutes to do my poem and here it goes. Please enjoy and sorry for the shallow way of writing :DD REALITY A breeze woke me up It has an unfamiliar scent into it When I opened my eyes, I saw butterflies But I felt this sudden uneasiness within me The butterflies were not the same as before Their wings were as not colorful as it was I looked down and saw more of them But some were not moving I opened my window and let the butterflies fly freely But there was wild fire and it encircled our home I was so afraid, I ran to the corner and cried I don't know when will this all end My mother woke me up, it was all a nightmare I remembered watching the same thing in television But that may be a sign that it may really happen As for now, I feel relieved I'm gonna do all I can do to help Mother Nature I only write poem when someone asks me to write. That's how I am :DD Ate Lacus: Good for you classes are suspended in the afternoon :DD We with morning schedules still had to attend classes :DD I want rest :PP Be waiting for the other parts of the story :))  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-09-20 11:57:46 |
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@ Lacus- I'm glad you like it! @ Sayuri- Welcome! Alright, I'll read and make comments later, but while I have it here I'm going to type up a short story I wrote. For the WWII one, it probably won't be continued until later this year, when I get inspired by studying WWII stuffs in school. XD So for now, here's another story. This one has 4 parts, and the first 2 are done already. I'll just post the first one for now to see what everyone thinks about it. I think it's a different type of story, but it can be kind of confusing too. The dialogue isn't really dialogue, it's more like thoughts, but not really since it's not thoughts all the time... As I said, it can be confusing. But since I'm making it into parts, all of the parts are pretty short, so it shouldn't be too bad. At least I hope it's not too confusing. XD Anyway, I hope you like it! Into the Mind Part 1 The only thing I remember is darkness. Everything I remember is darkness. My pulse is rushing. My heart is about to burst. Breathing fast and heavily. And the only thing I see is darkness too. Slowly, I remember I have legs, feet, arms, hands. I remember I can walk, and more importantly, how to do so. Put one foot forward, then the other. A pattern; left, right, left, right. With no knowledge of time or place, I keep on walking this repeated pattern. Left, right, left, right. On and on, forever. For infinity. For eternity. I stumble. And I fall. The breath is knocked out of me. There is this feeling, and it is bad. I remember more. It hurts, therefore this is pain. And what do you do for pain? How do you make it go away? Let it heal. An answer in a soft, yet soothing voice. How? Silence engulfs me. No answer. So I stop. I sit up. And wait. Wait for the pain to go away. Yet, as I wait, a conversation occurs in my head. With myself. Who am I? Where am I? Why am I here? These questions run freely through my head. What is this called? Thoughts. Answered again. I try my luck a second time. Where are these thoughts? I think. A pause. Yet I wait. Finally, an answer comes. They are occurring in your head. In your mind.  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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OK! I've doubled checked my spelling and grammar on my story before posting my full first chapter. Here it is. Chapter 2 will be on the way soon. Chapter 1: On the way to Japan It's been about 4 years since I've begun learning Japanese. I got interested in learning it because I like to speak this language to my paternal family. I've been travelling around places such as Europe and Malaysia, but I never thought that Japan was a fascinating country. My first thought when I went to Japan was 'Wow! Japan's nothing like UK or Malaysia! Everything is completely different, people are friendly, but the language looks complicated to learn'. It's the beginning of March. Yuka has finished college, now taking a gap year. She cannot wait to stay in Japan and live with her dad. She has been to Japan a long time ago with her family for a couple of weeks. She told to herself, 'Spending time in Japan for 2 weeks isn't enough. This year, I'm staying there for 6 months'. At home in Harrow (North-West London), Yuka's mum is waiting downstairs patiently to take her to the airport. Mum called, 'Yuka, it's time to go to the airport!' But Yuka ignored her mother as she finished her packing. After packing her suitcase, Yuka had a phone call from her friend. She talked on the phone for more than 5 minutes and keep chatting away. While downstairs, her mum became impatient waiting for her. She shouted, 'Hurry up Yuka! Otherwise, you're going to miss your flight!' Tomoko heard her mother shouting while she was on her laptop. Then Tomoko told mum, 'Mum, just leave her. If she's going to miss her flight, then that's her fault'. After 10 minutes on the phone, Yuka called 'I'm ready now! OK, let's go!' Her mum sighed and thought to herself, 'Finally, she's ready!’ Before they leave, Yuka makes sure that she has everything, especially her passport and her flight ticket. Mum asked 'Have you got everything?' Yuka checked and replied, 'I have everything'. Her mother got worried a bit and asked again, 'Are you sure? 100% positive? Yuka then shouted at her mum, 'YES! I have everything! I'm very positive!' 'Oh ok! I'm only checking, that's all'. Mum told her. 5 minutes before Yuka is off to the airport, her mum warned her, 'If you forgotten something while we're on the car, we're not coming back. Understand?' 'Yes I understand' sighed Yuka. 10 minutes later, her mum and Yuka are in the car driving to London Heathrow, not knowing that Yuka has forgotten her mobile phone. Yuka thought to herself, 'Oh no! I forgot my mobile phone, but I think my dad will give me his other mobile phone, so that's ok. 'Now they arrived at Heathrow Airport. Yuka's mum was sad to see her leave London for 6 months, but she knows that she'll be ok on her trip. Yuka then shouted in the car, 'I forgot my phone!' Mum sighed, and then said, 'I told you. If you forgotten something, we're not coming back'. Seconds later, mum said, 'You'll be ok. Your dad will give you his other phone when you arrive in Japan'. Yuka nodded, and then sighed, 'Yes, I hope so'. 5 minutes outside London Heathrow airport, Yuka is in the airport and checked in. However, she didn't know that her flight was late in the evening due to a big delay. After she checked in, she had a look around outside the immigration. Although she had something for lunch, she decided to buy some sweets on her way during her flight. In the security centre, she was so surprised that there's hardly anyone in that place. Normally, there are lots of people waiting. After getting out of the centre, she couldn't believe what she saw. There are lots of people waiting for their flight. Yuka was very confused what happened. So she asked one of the airport staff. 'Excuse me. Can you please me what happened'? She asked. The male staff replied, 'Some planes caught fire. Because of this, all flights are delayed'. Yuka gasped, 'Oh no! I'm supposed to arrive Fukuoka early in the evening! But now my flight is delayed, what should I do?' She stopped and think for a few minutes. 'Is there an internet cafe nearby?' She asked. 'There's one next to Boots shop. But you have to pay 50p for 30 minutes. Some of them have to play £1 for half an hour' the staff respond. 'Thank you' she said. 'Ah! I should have brought my phone with me!' regretted Yuka in a disappointed voice. But luckily, she has some money for emergencies such as calling her mum, food, drinks and to buy small presents. What Yuka doesn't know, the check-in gave some coupons (about 3) for food and drinks only due to delay. Each coupon is £5 pounds discount. Anything she wants to buy, she doesn't have to pay for it. She put them in her bag with her ticket. Early evening, she calls her mum for letting her know about her flight. After 2 minutes, Yuka went to the closest internet cafe and emailed her dad. It will be easier for her to call him on the phone if she took it with her! After half an hour in the internet cafe, her stomach is empty. Although she has something small for lunch, she wanted to have something to fill her up. She looked around the restaurants and shops, but they looked a little expensive for her. She bought £30 & her credit card with her. She thought to herself, 'these foods look delicious, but expensive. What should I do?' She found a small sandwich shop near her a few minutes later. She looked at all the flavours of sandwiches, but about half of them are pork or beef. She doesn't eat pork & beef at all, so that's not good. 30 seconds later, she has decided what she wants. She wants tuna and sweet corn roll, a packet of Walkers Prawn Cocktail and a bottle of water (about 500ml). This costs her exactly £5. As soon as she took her purse out, one of the food coupons fell off her bag. 'Oh my gosh! I never knew I have this coupon!' Yuka surprised. Now she has it, she gave it to the counter. After paying for her food, she's looking for a place to sit, but they're all full up. However, outside the sandwich shop is a little cafe to sit down. Yuka sat down and started eating. While Yuka is eating her dinner in the cafe, an announcer said, 'We are very sorry for all passengers for waiting. All flights are now running'. Yuka thought to herself while eating, 'Oh good! I can go to Japan after all'. However, she has to wait for her flight for another 20 minutes. 10 minutes later, Yuka has finished eating her dinner. She is now looking for a seat to sit. After 5 minutes, an announcer said, 'Flight to Fukuoka, Japan, go to Gate 17 please in a couple of minute’s time'. 2 minutes later, Yuka walked to Gate 17 as quickly as possible to go to the front of line. When she arrived, there is no one in the line. Yuka was shocked that there wasn't a single person in the line. As she waits outside the door, more than 300 people arrived and waited behind her. Everyone in the line is waiting for the door to open for 2 minutes. For the first 2 minutes, they all were waiting patiently, but it was more than 2 minutes. Everyone especially Yuka became very impatient. After 5 minutes, one of the staff finally opened the doors and apologizes for taking long. After that, everyone rushed to go to the waiting area after passport checking. After 20 minutes, everyone was exhausted after that. 'Phew! That took so long for the staff to open the door' Yuka thought to herself. She took her ticket to the staff and has rechecked her hand luggage before she can sit down. Now she's in the seating area, she needs to find a seat near to the door. She looked everywhere, but seats are nearly full. 2 minutes later, she finally found a seat to sit on. But one of the staff announced the first Class, Business Class, children with assistance and elder people to come in first. As she was about to take her ticket, she dropped her book in front of her. Luckily it's close to the seat that she’s seating, otherwise someone else will take her seat. When Yuka sat down, she checked her ticket before she reads her book. After 3 minutes, the same staff announced, 'Seats from 60-41, go in the plane'. 'I never thought that the first people took time to get the plane' Yuka thought to herself. 5 minutes, the staff then announced, 'Passages with seat 40-21, go in the plane'. This time, it took slightly than Yuka have thought'. After another 5 minutes, the staff announced, 'everyone else from 20, you can now go in the plane'. Yuka checked her ticket before she gets in the plane, she realised that her seat in the front. She took her time to pack her book and get in the plane as she is the last one to get in. She's now in the plane and started looking for her seat. She now found her seat and interestingly, there was no one sitting next to her. Her seat is the edge. That way, she can go to the toilet. In most flights, she always sits next to the window which makes it hard for her to go to the loo. Before her flight begins to take off, she put her hand luggage on her overhead flap, but it was nearly full. However, she managed to put her bags up there.  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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by
 
on 2010-10-06 02:35:59 |
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Ok Guys. I Need to seriously update the first post. So guys, I will update it after class today. ~Doomlight 
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-10-09 13:40:56 |
Hey! Just finished skimming down this page, so well done to: Wizard, Anke, Toyumi, Shae, Schaz, Animestargirl, Haseo and Sayu (did I get everyone?) you have all got amazing writing talent! And in particular I am liking the short stories such as Toyumi's Into the mind and Haseo's Brother ... but I must admit all the stories here are brilliant so everyone please keep submitting!  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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OK! Onto chapter 2. But this is part of the second chapter. Chapter 2:Arriving late to Fukuoka. Inside the plane, Yuka have a book on her lap and started reading while the safety information was on TV. Before her flight starts to take off, she went to the toilet for a few minutes. Luckily the plane doesn't take off in 10 minutes which gives her enough time to go there. She went back to her seat and started reading. But she forgot to put her seatbelt. She stopped, put her seatbelt on and continue reading. After 2 minutes, her flight starts to take off. Although Yuka likes travelling, but travelling alone is something she's not looking forward to, because this is her first time travelling on her own. Her elder sister, Tomoko, however enjoys travelling alone and with friends. But it took longer than 2 minutes, since there was a light delay on the plane. But to keep everyone waiting, one of the staff member started the safety video on. Yuka doesn't know what they are talking about, but lucky for her, there are English subtitles so she can ready while listening to the Korean language. 2 minutes later, the video was finished and the plane started to move. |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-10-11 21:25:38 (edited 2010-10-26 19:16:13)
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Ok. I'm totally lost on where to start updating. New Members I will add. But then if anybody could make like a list on whats missing out would totally help. ~Doomlight Edit: Up to this point. New Members have been accepted. Welcome Wizard and Sayu :D Next up on the updates: Done. On deck: ???
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-11-20 15:00:25 |
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@ Doom- I wouldn't mind making an updated list. It'll probably take about a week or so. I'll PM it to you when it's done. Well, it's been really quiet here... I guess we're all busy with school (Including myself) >.> Anyway, here's the second part of Into the Mind. I kind of forgot where I was originally going with the story, but thankfully I had the Part 2 of the story done. Although Part 3 might take awhile XD Into the Mind Part 2 After I have sat long enough for the pain to go away, I get up again. I continue my pattern of walking; left, right, left, right. I managed to continue walking without stumbling for quite some time. No direction or destination in mind. Memories flood my mind. Now that the basic functions have returned, more of my mind opens up. I remember events. Most are blank and meaningless, until I see one that catches my eye. A girl and a boy. They are on the edge of a cliff, very close to one another. Their mouths touch. Kissing, the answer says, That is called kissing. The boy holds the girl, for a long time, then they get up. They go into some sort of large device. A car, the answer says yet again. The boy and the girl drive away in this car, going faster as they get further away. Stop this, another voice says, much more shrill than the other one. Who are you? My mind asks. It pleads to this voice to bring back the vision, to bring back the memory. What am I, that doesn't matter, the shrill voice replies, Honestly, such a silly question to propose in your situation! Then what's going on? My mind asks, Where am I? The shrill voice laughs, in a mocking manner. It only replies with a single statement. Welcome to the mind. |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-11-22 10:00:19 |
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@Toyumi That would be helpful. Thanks :D -struggles- ~Doomlight
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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by
on 2010-11-24 02:07:01 (edited 2011-04-10 01:57:50)
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I guess I'll join, since writing is my favorite hobby. I'll show you all this for now. It's just a multi-part short-ish story I'm currently kind of working on. (been slow due to laptop issues) Anyways, here it is. Until Death Do Us Part Part One The emptiness has finally gotten to me. Being able to see the four walls of the room was far from a treat for my eyes. I would have been able to accept it if the walls were the least bit enjoyable to look at in the first place. If there was even some light the room would look a lot better, but through the window I could easily tell the sun had hidden itself well behind the dry, dark clouds again for the fifth week in a row. Like every other day, I lie down on my back and let the time pass away. “Are you bored?†The childish voice suddenly snapped me out of my own thoughts. The voice belonged to a young girl. She stared at me with her warm, black eyes as she playfully rocked back and forth with her legs crossed. Her hair only went down to her shoulders and swayed with her movement. It was the same color as mine, solid, natural black, or as I would consider, the color of death. This small girl is not a stranger to me though. Her name is Emili Dett. “No. I’m just a little tired.†I simply replied to her, using the most natural voice I could summon from the depths of my throat. The truth was I was absolutely bored beyond my limits. She immediately skipped across the room towards the window. A second girl sat with her head resting on her arm and stared out through the clean glass. This girl was Emili’s older sister. She was not much different in appearance, other than the fact that she was significantly taller compared to Emili with slightly longer hair. Her hair was tied in the back into a ponytail, but her bangs remained undisturbed as they extended down and ended just before her eyes. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen her with her hair in any other way. She would always have her hair tied in the back, occasionally with as small of a change as slightly shifting it to the side. I remember I once got up extra early in the morning just to see what she would look like with her hair down, but no matter how hard I tried, she was always up before me, sitting by that window, seemingly bored out of her mind. This girl’s name is Natali. “Want to play?†Emili asked her with such a youthful smile stretched across her face. Natali looked down at her, and then back out the window. “Why don’t you play with Gav?†questioned another voice. This one had an opposite sound to Emili’s, but was closely related. This was none other than Emili and Natali’s eldest sister. Although the oldest, she was still quite young. Her name is Ramy. This sister shared similar appearances to the others as well, with the only difference being her hair length, which was significantly longer than the other two, and her eyes, which seemed to always be giving me a cold stare every time she looked at me. It could just be a problem with me, but that’s the way it was. She was slightly taller than Natali, but no normal person would be able to tell so easily. She would always be sitting down on a mattress next to the wall typing something into her laptop. When I say always, I really mean always. It’s almost the same was Natali tying her hair in the back. I had tried to peek onto her screen a few times, but she could always tell when I was coming. Most of the time she just simply switched to one of the basic computer games and pretended she was playing, or locked the computer and said she was going to the bathroom. A few times she actually became violent and forced me away from her. Is her typing really that important to her? I mean, she comes into my room almost every day along with the other two just to do the same thing over and over again. Was that not an even enough trade for seeing what she does all the time? “Emili, give me a second. I just need a minute to rest.†I informed her. Yes, this was in fact my room, or at least the room I was staying in. This is not my home, and these girls are not my family. I would explain how I got into this situation if I could, but my memory fails to assist me. My memories go as far back as a few days after I arrived here. These three were the first people I met. I asked them how I got here, but it seemed like most of them didn’t know a thing about it. Since then, things have been pretty much the same every single day that has passed. “Ready?†yelled Emili point-blank into my face as she squatted next to me. She had barely given me a second to respond before she performed a cannonball dive onto my chest. As light as she was, her weight was still enough to produce a crippling effect to it as she landed. I immediately rolled over and began coughing my brains out. “Hey! You’re supposed to be the water. Water can’t make noise.†She complained as if I was at fault. Once I had resumed breathing again, I rolled over onto my back once again, not caring much for what could have happened if I did. “Let’s play hide and seek.†She suddenly declared. I knew it would end up like every other time, but I willingly nodded in agreement. I covered my eyes with my hands as she quickly snuck out of the room, acting like I was actually going to find her soon. You see, every other time I have played hide and seek with her, it would take me at least an hour to find her. This house wasn’t particularly large or complex at all. The house was a simple two-story family house with a few rooms upstairs and a kitchen downstairs. The kitchen wasn’t the only area down there, but most of the furniture in the house had been removed, so it was difficult to say which room is what. This house didn’t have a lot of places to hide in, but Emili would always find a perfect place to hide. I eventually questioned whether this house had secret rooms or anything else of that manner. Once I had counted to zero, I made my way towards the room door. “Remember, you’re not allowed to go into my parents’ room, or mine.†Ramy reminded me casually as she typed like mad onto her laptop keyboard. I would appreciate it if she even took the effort to look at me when she talked, but that is just how she is. I stepped outside the room and scanned the entire hall. There was not much in the hall aside from six doors. There was one on my right and the other four were to my left on the other side of the hall. The one on my right and the closest one to the stairs was Ramy’s room, one of the two I was forbidden to enter. The four on my left consisted of Emili and Natali’s shared room, the girls’ parents’ room, a single washroom, and a closet, which I assumed was almost entirely empty. Looking at how the rooms were set up, I would get the feeling that their parents had carefully planned it. My room was not at the end of the hall next to the stairs, where I could possibly sneak downstairs and take all that they had without any of them noticing, not that I would do so. The parents’ room was right next to Emili and Natali’s room so they would be able to tell if they were in trouble. Ramy’s room seemed like it was at the end just in case someone, in most cases I’d assume they meant me, was trying to get away for a certain reason. They definitely seemed to have planned it out, knowing that Ramy was a very light sleeper. The only way I knew about that was through experience. It was on a night when I woke up halfway through in need for a simple glass of water. The only place to get safe drinking water was downstairs in the kitchen, so I attempted to quietly make my way down, get a drink, and return to my room to sleep once again. The problem was once I took a single step down the hall towards the stairs, the floor produced an almost too convenient creak. The creak was barely as loud as a mouse whispering, but with the silence I could just barely hear it. Apparently, so could Ramy. The second the floor creaked, her room door flung open and she quickly pinned me down. After a long explanation, she finally let me go for my drink. Ever since that night, I have never gotten up for a glass of water again. “You’re so slow, Gav!†I could hear Emili’s voice coming from downstairs. I carefully stepped down the hall towards the stairs, attempting to possibly sneak up on Emili and give her a good surprise, even though I had no idea where she could be. Once I reached the lower floor, I was instantly drawn towards the window. Although it was not new to me, I would always be drawn to it. Outside the window was an empty street. Nothing but houses stood on this street. There were no bushes, no flowers, and no trees. Nobody bothered to come out, or even had the time to come out and tend to them. The street lights were taken down to reduce power usage, as the city had been forced to run on a limited battery. This is what I have been told. Power normally came from the sun and natural wind, but neither showed their faces. A lucky man would be overjoyed to feel the slightest breeze or the faintest light coming directly from the sun, but that was all a dream now. The city was fortunate enough to get the tiny bit of sunlight it did through all the clouds in the sky. It was not like there was much to power in the first place. The war had come and gone through this city. What was left was all the remaining people had to live with. What a sad story it is. This is what I've been told… Part Two The truth is I never actually found Emili yesterday. I wandered around for what I felt was the longest time ever. I searched everywhere I could possible search. I went through the closet, the entire bathroom, her shared room, and my room twice. I had completely covered the lower floor as well. This included the refrigerator, oven, and all the other possible places a small girl could hide in this nearly empty residence. In the end, she surprised me by jumping out from behind the door of my own room. I had no clue where she had been or how she got there, but I was not one to complain about that. That game is over now and the past will stay the past. Today the three were once again in my room. They had all gotten here before I had the chance to wake up, all in their usual places busy with their usual activities. Ramy was on my mattress again, which she had removed me from while I was deep in my sleep. Natali was by the window sitting on the same chair again. Today she tied her hair with a thin red ribbon. Emili was wandering around, probably looking for something to play with. “Why don’t you play with Gav?†Ramy asked her youngest sister. The sound of her voice as she spoke each of those six words sounded the exact same as it did yesterday. It was almost frightening. “He’s bad at playing hide and seek.†She complained to Ramy, who had stopped typing when she had fallen into conversation with her sister. The room felt too different without the constant sound of her fingers and nails clicking and tapping onto the plastic keys of her laptop keyboard. Chances were, she would ask Emili to play something other than hide and seek with me, and get back to her laptop. “Maybe you need to do something other than hide and seek with Gav.†Her words were as predictable as an old slasher movie. I would like to ask her one day why she would always let her little sister play with an outsider to their family while she instead stares at her seventeen inch LCD laptop screen and types out her tens of millions of words that nobody has the slightest clue are about. “How about hide and seek with Ray-Ray today?†Her unexpected offer caught all of us by surprise, other than Natali of course, who never has any reaction to anything. Natali aside though, this was definitely an outcome I would have thought was impossible. First of all, Ramy offered to play with Emili, which would take her away from her laptop that I have never seen her get off of for any reason other than to eat, which half the time she does next to her laptop in the first place. Secondly, she called herself by the strange nickname Emili had given her quite a while ago. It started back when Emili asked Ramy if she was possibly her brother instead of her sister, due to the fact that Emili thought her name sounded somewhat masculine. However, I have no idea why Emili chose to use the name “Ray-Ray†instead. That name sounded far more masculine, but it felt like it belonged more to the creepy-nicknames-that-strange-guys-would-give-themselves-thinking-it-was-cute category. That is the reason why I could never see Ramy ever using it. I had nothing to think other than that I was dreaming. Only in dreams can the impossible suddenly occur. I closed my eyes as the thuds of their footsteps echoed within the floor under my ear. Only a few seconds passed before I once again heard the tapping noises. I opened my eyes again expecting to see Ramy sitting in front of her laptop once again with her fingers on the keyboard, but I instead saw nothing. Ramy’s laptop was left alone on my mattress. I would have finally got to take a look at her work if it was not for the fact that she had locked it. Even if it was not locked, Ramy was across the room from it, counting down from twenty with her arm covering her eyes. I cared about my safety enough to provoke her violent side out once again like I have done before. “Ready or not, here I come!†she shouted out the room as she left. This was the first time I’ve seen any form of sisterly bond between any of them. It was touching, but at the same time very strange. I rolled onto my mattress and stretched my body out on the spring-filled piece of heaven. It was at that time when I realized that the tapping sound from earlier did not go away. If I still thought Ramy was in the room, I would not have thought about it. I opened my eyes once again and let the weak, cloud-filtered sunlight in through my pupils. I sat up and guided my vision to the point where the sound originated. My heart nearly stopped when I saw the second impossible event of the day. Natali was sitting at the window with her arm perched on the window sill and her head rested above it. Her opposite arm reached across and her hand rested next to the elbow of the arm she rested on. Her four slender fingers were all slowly tapping onto the window sill. “Natali!†I yelled with such power fuelled by my amazement that one could assume I was scolding her. “You’re doing something!†I finished. Her fingers immediately came to a halt as her head turned around to look at me. There was nothing but silence from then on. She turned back to the window and continued gazing outwards, this time without any more tapping. It was almost too different for me to handle. Any regular person would see this as nothing, but I have been living with her for the few months passed now, and not once have I ever seen her do anything aside from sitting, staring, and occasionally turning her head the slightest bit to the side to look at us. “What happened?†Ramy’s asked from the doorway. Her question seemed more like an excuse to enter the room, as once she had finished asking, she immediately walked in with her full attention on her laptop. She first sat against the wall and slowly shoved kicked me away with both of her feet in an alternating pattern until I had gotten annoyed and got off on my own. Once the mattress was clear, she shifted herself a few spaces over until she was face-to-face with her laptop once again. She kept herself to a small corner of the mattress, yet she would always make sure nobody else was on it as well. “Aren’t you supposed to be playing hide and seek?†I asked. I had realized it had only been a minute or maybe even two since she had ventured out in search of Emili. It was possible that she had succumbed to temptation in that short amount of time. It was also possible that she could have been afraid that I might try and tamper with her laptop while she was gone. Just when I thought she was becoming a good sister too. “I found her already.†She spoke, again, as she typed away on her keyboard. My internal organs nearly exploded one by one like a firework show within my body. There was no way she could have found her. I would have to search for an hour or more to just barely find Emili. Even if Ramy could do better than that, there was no way she could have done it in only a minute. “Surprise!†Emili yelled from the door as she jumped in front of it. Surprise? More like absolutely slaughtered into a near death situation due to witnessing such a chain of impossible events occur one after another. “Everyone be quiet for a second.†Ramy suddenly commanded. There was a strange aura filling up inside the room. Ramy had stopped typing. Instead, she stared with immense concentration into her laptop monitor. It was almost like she was in a trance. She did not even notice when Emili and I crept up on both her left and her right to see what she was looking at. Such focus was something only Ramy could achieve. Even Natali would at least turn to see who it was right next to her. “The war may be on the other side, but hell is still with us.†That was the first line of an article that was now on Ramy’s screen. The rest of the article was nothing but multiple hulking paragraphs describing a mass murder. The article describes how every one of the victims was killed, each having been stabbed repeatedly in the chest and lower body in non-fatal locations previous to having a high caliber pistol round tear through their skulls. They described the victims’ backgrounds, most being simple house owners forced to work and help out after the city had been delivered a crippling blow by the hammer of war. Following the unnecessarily descriptive paragraphs was a set of photographs taken at the scene itself. A dark-haired, middle-aged couple were the subjects of the first couple photographs. Their face were blocked from the camera, but I was almost certain I’ve seen them at least once before. Examining the photos it was evident that the couple were indeed married, as their wedding rings were visible. The two held onto one another as their lives were changed forever. What a sad story it is… “…Mom…? Dad…?†The tiny ghost-like whisper of a voice escaped from Ramy’s mouth. This is pretty much all I have completed at the moment. The only reason I posted two parts is because Part One felt more like an introductory part where nothing really happens. Hope you enjoyed it so far.  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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OK. I'm going to continue the story. While the plane is flying, Yuka started to read her book for about half an hour. Then she went to the toilet before the air hostess give her headphones. After 5 minutes, she sat down on her seat and the air hostess gave her the headphones on time. 'Phew! I've got to my seat on time' Yuka thought to herself. It's already 11:00pm in the UK, but Yuka gets to Seoul in the late afternoon. She's hoping that her dad's coming to pick her up. But it's 50/50 chance that either her dad or one of his friend's picking her up or she's going alone to Kurume. |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-11-29 23:03:38 |
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Okay...stupid question: Is it already too late to join? I'm writing several novels and i'm willing to share it to see your responds (and comments). It will take a while to post all chapter, not only it's a long story and it's not in english. So, if i permitted to join, i'll translate it to english (it will be full of grammatical mistake, but feel free to correct it ^__^) So...here's the synopsis of one of my novel: The title is : Mystic Circle Indra Pratama, a young man who because of an incident, turned into a half vampire, forced to work dealing with supernatural problems for the sake of change himself into human. Working under the command of Yudha Prabowo, a 'former' god who protects the city of Yogyakarta, as well as a greedy psychic. Indra often used as bait, or told to deal directly (aka duel) with a variety of supernatural beings, so it is not uncommon Indra seriously hurt or even almost killed. Assisted by Maya Fitria, the girl who was possessed by the God of Fortune, Gembul, a cat, incarnation of the God of Fortune, and Raden Setyo Pamungkas, tiger youkai, Indra and Yudha trying desperately to thwart the plans of Ashura to reopen the gates to their world and invade the human world. (translated using google translation, since i'm such a lazy guy ~___~)   |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-11-30 06:50:03 |
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RED: I don't think it's ever too late to join ^^ but ask Doom. Anyways I really like the sound of your story! I'll help with the grammar as much as possible too, if you want. Animestargirl: Isn't Seoul in Korea? Yay- loving Yuka's adventures at the moment! Komaro: Looks like you're a really talented writer! :) had a quick read through, your grammar looks perfect and the plot looks really good :) keep it up! |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-11-30 07:23:59 |
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bang Red: nothing like too late to join... very indonesian names... and what a translation... lol better do translation urself, google translate is unreliable komaro: what a story, but I haven't done reading it... mokona: red knows how to translate it, he's just lazy  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-11-30 13:17:57 |
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lol Schaz i'll remember that, you watched the new Gundam 00 movie yet? Like your new avvy and siggy set! Got a story in mind, but I'm always too lazy to type anything up and post it :( I'll just hang back and read some more stories on here for now lol- you working on anything Schaz? |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-12-01 02:39:24 |
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@red: It's never too late to join~ ~Doom P.S. Welcome  and
http://i34.tinypic.com/33pad0k.jpg |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2010-12-01 03:58:21 (edited 2010-12-11 23:11:02)
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@Mokona Ahaha....as Schaz said, i'm capable on translating the story into english but i'm very lazy ^___^ It will help a lot if you could help me correcting the grammars >__< @Schaz Ahahahaha.....yeah....machine translation sometimes are terrible.... But since i'm lazy (and didn't have much time) i keep using machine translation with a little editing ^___^ @Doom Whoa...thanks. Now i'll start posting the story Mystic Circle is quite a LONG story. It's 224 pages in A4 paper single space format, and each chapter is about 20 pages long. So bear with it ^___^ I'll separate each chapter into several parts, i dunno if it is forbidden to do double/triple post here. Since some parts are already long enough. Actually, i want to submit this to publisher, but i want to hear people opinions before i submit it. Before i start. I must reminds the readers that i own this story, so please do not attempt to plagiarism any materials in my story. Period. MYSTIC CIRCLE 1st Arc: Girl Possessed by God (part 1) [Yogyakarta, March 14, 2010] Indra Pratama, a 17-year-old young boy walking with a restless feeling. Today he will do something that would change his life. The black-haired-harajuku style young boy walking around his empty classrooms. Currently, the time is 3 pm and most of Harapan high school students had gone home. Only students who have extra-curricular activities are usually still in school at that hour. But Indra did not follow the extra-curricular activities of any kind. Not that he's lazy type or hate to socialize with other people, but because there are other things that made him barely have time to join any organization. "Ugh ..... it felt very tense." Indra muttered to himself as he walked toward the window. He looked toward a group of students who are busy practicing. They are students of football club. Indra looked for a moment his friends who seemed to enjoy their workout. He actually wanted to join. But there is one good reason that prevent him from socializing with other people. Indra is not a human. The young man was a vampire. More precisely, half-vampire. But he's not like vampires portrayed in fictions. He was not afraid to cross, can not turn into bats or mist, not afraid of garlic, do not be afraid of holy water, and will not burn when exposed to sunlight. Although it’s true that vampires do not like to walk in the sun, but it is not because they were afraid of sunlight, but because their eyes are too sensitive to light. So that the sunlight almost blinded the eyes of a vampire. Fortunately as a half-vampire, sunlight is not much affect her eyes. Indra looked at the shadow of him that reflected on the glass. He sighed when he saw his own eyes that are red and have a narrow pupil like a cat. He then sighed again. "Haah .... if only Yudha can turn me back to human being ..." sighed Indra as he turned and looked at the wrist watch. It is already 3:30 pm. It's about time he left. As he walked toward the exit, he took his bag which he put on the front bench. He walk at steady pace, though he actually still feel tense. Normal life of this young man suddenly turned upside-down since 3 months ago. During the school holidays, he was attacked by vampires and of course, as result he himself turned into a vampire. Luckily for Indra. Before he had time to comply with his ferocious appetite and thirst for blood, he met a man named Yudha Pratama. He was helped Indra eliminate his vampire lust for blood and promised to restore Indra back into humans. It's just that the process is already long gone and it would be difficult to find. Therefore, Indra eventually forced to help Yudha in a variety of jobs, while looking for ways to get back into a human. The problem is, all work performed by Yudha are always associated with the supernatural events. Eradicate the evil spirits, purify the home, give magical protection, repel supernatural beings, heal possessed, and so forth. In other words, all kind of works done by a psychic. Yudha itself is a person who is usually referred to as psychic, shaman, exorcist, and so forth. Indra work as Yudha’s assistants and in fact the work was very interesting and challenging. If only Yudha not frequently use Indra as bait to lure supernatural beings. So Indra jobs often ends with catch-me-if-you-can scenes between him and supernatural beings prey. Given this, Indra occasionally became angry at Yudha. He's not an emotional person, but being used as a bait did upset him. He sometimes annoyed at Yudha for his relaxed attitude, selfishness, and cunning mind. But at the same time, Indra should be very grateful to Yudha. If not for him, Indra would have become a ferocious blood-sucking beasts. Right now Indra did not have the lust to suck the blood, which common to vampires, but other physical characteristics remain. Red eyes, long fangs, pointy ears, and his physical abilities which are far better than humans, are a few things still left behind after Yudha try to change him back to being human. While daydreaming, he kept walking toward the parking lot. Getting closer to the school’s parking lot, Indra became increasingly nervous. Her heart was beating faster and faster. Today, Indra will declare his love to a girl who had long been her favorite. This morning, Indra asked her to wait for him after school in the parking lot. Asking her to come after school alone already make Indra’s heart nearly jumped out of his mouth. And it almost happened when the girl says she likes it if he is willing to come. Now Indra was really nervous. School parking lot was deserted and quiet. There was no one there. There's only line of bicycles and motorcycles from the students who are doing extra-curricular activities at school. Finally he decided to wait. Unfortunately, the peace of Indra’s mind seemed to evaporate over time. But Indra’s heart is burning with love. He will not retreat. He is determined to run the plan until the end. As he paced in circles, he’s awaiting for the arrival of a girl named Ulfah Pratiwi. The girl is the girl who had long adored by Indra. Unfortunately, fans of the girl are not only him. He already know that a lot of people had trying to declare their love to the girl, but all were rejected. Indra, of course, aware of it. But he remains determined to declare his love for Ulfah. "Sorry to keep you waiting. Why are you asking me to come here after school this morning?" Indra immediately turned around when he heard the voice of a girl behind him. Now, in front of him stood the girl he adored. Indra heart had stopped for a moment, then beat again with double speed. He panicked. Okay ... calm down .... calm down.... if my heart keep beating this fast ... I might have a heart attack... Indra muttered to himself. He tried to calm himself, though it obviously failed to do. Instead of the more quiet, he was more nervous when Ulfah walked over to him. "Uhm ... ah ... ah .... it .... I am ...." Suddenly Indra so stutter. Being too nervous, he could not even speak properly. Ulfah looked puzzled, but she waited for Indra reaction. Unfortunately, Indra continued to stutter. Ulfah then confused and now visibly impatient. She put her hands on her hips and stared at Indra with a sharp glare. Unfortunately, it makes the brain Indra stopped working. The young man seemed to hear the screeching of gears in his brain that suddenly stopped. "Come on Indra. The sun is start to set, and I want to go home. If you have no business, I'm going home now, "said Ulfah, still looking towards Indra. Indra is still trying to say something, unfortunately he still stuttered. "Ah. Weirdo. Okay, now I’m going home, "said Ulfah while turning and walking away from Indra. "See you tomorrow Indra." Indra suddenly feels as if he was froze on spot. But he could not let this opportunity passing by. He took a deep breath to calm down. Then without thinking, he shouted desperately. "I LIKE YOU!! BE MY LOVER, ULFAAAH!" Indra's call was so powerful that it makes Ulfah stop in place. Indra’s voice also invite unwanted attention of students who apparently still stay in their classroom. From the corner of his eyes, Indra could see that some male and female students sticking out of the window curiously. Ugh ... I'm dead! Now there are too many people who saw the confessions of my love, Indra muttered to himself. He swallowed his saliva. Sweat began to trill. His heart was beating so hard that he felt that his chest will soon explode. Ulfah then slowly turned around. Ulfah movement that turned slowly felt like slow-motion movement in the movies. Whether because Indra was too nervous, or because he unconsciously uses his strength. To be sure, the world around him feels as if it runs more slowly. Then, he heard a few words from Ulfah. The words he'll never forget for the rest of his life. "Sorry. But I've liked someone else. " Indra feels as if he directly struck by lightning. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Wahaha....comments are welcomed ^___^ |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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by
on 2010-12-04 21:38:48 |
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So, the list is going to take longer than I thought it would XD But I'll get it done. It might take a few more weeks though, since I'm going to be a bit busy for awhile. But it will get done. Eventually >.> Anyway, onto comments now. @ Komaro- Your story is very good! I'll be looking forward to the next part of it! @ Red- I read the synopsis and your story looks good! I'll read the first part of it and point out any grammatical errors later. |