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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-21 09:53:15 |
| There's no need to send it in, mate. I could just read it on the go with my mobile. |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-22 06:52:38 |
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Basil: lol la-de-dah! welcome back again ^^ Doomlight: lol sowwy! I take that back ^^ Welcome Sacora and Mokou!!   |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-22 17:26:50 |
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dont worry lol. So Anyways. If you guys want your avatar changed on the main page just post here putting the number that you have on the first page then put the avatar that you want. ~Doomlight 
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-22 18:50:10 |
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wow, what a nice club. I'd like to join the club, i like to write. but unfortunately the novel project that I'm working on right now is in Indonesian. And i don't have any English language story, except my past rp's. can i still join this club?  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-22 19:21:08 |
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hmm. yeah you can join :D. We'll Find someone to translate it if you really want to. Added Rastva to the Members List. ~Doomlight P.S. You can try using google translate. Translate it all then send it to me. Which ill edit and attempt to fix/
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-22 20:20:56 |
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oh, thank you very much. actually the story have reached chapter 16, but the writing progress is on halt because of my studies.. oh, anyway i've tried to use google translate and it's kinda messed up at certain points because the translator can't translate some words... but, I've tried to fix it. can i post it here? the first three paragraph of the prologue is like this Void. Perhaps the only words that are suitable to describe the situation this forest. Although at a glance, it appears fertile land, but land is indeed hard, dry and give a cold snap to the bones. The trees in the forest are big and look solid. Theri roots are also great and swell out of the ground. The leaves are very thick even none of them falls to the ground, but trees appeared sick. Appear to some form of living creature that moves, but still they did not show an impression of life at all. Fog always cover up this place, and the wind seems reluctant to reach this place. Never have a light touch the forest, the sun and the moon never appeared not face even one that stars illuminate the sky forest. Forest, land, trees and all the creature as locked in by time. Where there is no longer a life, but can not be spelled out as a death. Truly cursed land. In one part of the forest, a group of sentient life form showed in the vicinity of a road cut through the forest one step. Unlike other living creature in the forest. They appear 'live' and vibrant. They moved back to the big trees and some tree tops. Then they fall silent and motionless, not too clear what they're doing in the forest. Some of them look like men, but higher and more slender. Their face are long with sharp chin. Their sharp nose and ears are rather long and tapering. Those sentient creature have glowing eyes, with different colors in each individual. They are clearly visible Elf. Organism or a very ancient race, and has a very long age, can even spelled immortal. They come from a large forest which is very far from this forest. Weird, because this time they were in the this cursed forest. i'm pretty sure that kinda messed up. |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-22 21:40:25 (edited 2009-07-23 08:10:30)
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Ok im going to fix it up tonight and lets see what happens. :D Void. Perhaps the only word that is suitable to describe the situation in this forest. Although at a glance, it appears like fertile land, but the land is indeed hard, dry and gives a cold snap to the bones. The trees in the forest are big and solid with there roots also great and swell out of the ground. The leafs are very thick but the leafs never touch the ground, but the trees appear sick. They appear to some form of living creature that moves, but still they did not show an impression of any life at all. The fog always covered up this place, and the wind seems reluctant to reach this place. But in all it's years, never have a light touch the forest. The sun and the moon never appeared, not to face even one star that illuminate the sky above the forest. The forest, the land, the trees and all the other creatures as locked by time in the forest. Where theres is no longer a life, but can not be called out as a death. This is a truly cursed land. In one part of the forest, a group of sentient life forms showed in the vicinity of a road that cut through the forest. Unlike other living creature in the forest. They appeared to be 'live' and vibrant. As they moved back to the big trees and the tree tops, they fell silent and motionless. Unclear to the reasons of them being in this forest. Some of them look like men, but taller and more slender. Their face is long with a sharp chin. Their sharp nose and ears are rather long and tapering(?). These sentiment creatures have glowing eyes, with different colors in each individual. They are clearly visible as an Elf. A very ancient race, and has a very long age that can even be called immortal. They come from a large forest which is very far from this forest. Weird, because this time they were in this cursed forest. ~Doomlight I tried my best here. but i couldnt copy and paste because it wouldn't let me. oh well. Ill look it over again tomorrow and see what other changes i can make. The question mark means i didnt understand it.
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-23 07:39:00 |
@Rastya:I'm also use Indonesian for most things, but I tried to post here w/ English... if you think you don't good enough to translate it ask me, Faiz, Lockey or any other Indonesian if we have time to spend for those translating  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-23 07:52:26 |
sorry for not posting anything here... I have some problems that I need to deal with... especially with my stories....  --> |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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Well, I'm not exactly a writer or anything ^^;; more of a reader actually, I just want to drop by and read some of the stories here.. which are pretty good. @Ras I Lied this afternoon XP I Didnt read it at all rofl okay I'll read them here instead while I'm dropping by... as a bonus I'll correct the 1st paragraph only Void. Perhaps the only words that are suitable to describe the situation this forest. Although at a glance, it appears to be a fertile land, but the land is indeed hard, dry and give cold snapping chill to the bones. The trees in the forest are gigantic and solid. Their roots are also great and swell out of the ground. The leaves are very thick even none of them falls to the ground, but the trees appeared to be sick. It's clearly visible some living creatures are moving about, but still they did not show an impression of life at all. Fog always cover up this place, and the wind seems reluctant to reach this place. Never have a light touch the forest, the sun and the moon never shows not even one the stars that illuminate the sky forest. Forest, land, trees and all the creature seems to be standing still. Where there is no longer a life, nor death. Truly a cursed land. Well, xD Though mine is not very good, hahahahaha... but 16 chapters and each of the chapters are.. uh, how many pages ras? 10-ish something? I Dont have that much time to translate em all XD @Schaz well, he already made those novels since 1 year ago XDD So he didnt intend to post it here or something  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-23 23:16:15 |
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@doomlight: for your thank you very much for your help. actually i also pretty confused with the (?) section "Their sharp nose and ears are rather long and tapering(?)." .. maybe i'll just simplify it to "they have sharp noses and long ears." @Schaz: actually my main problem is my lack of vocab... hmm, but i think ren's is right. i think i'm going to finish it in Indonesian first before translating it. around five years ago, i also have another project and i wrote that in english. but after 4 or five chaps, finally i stopped because i realizes that i'm lacking of vocab to explain what's written in my head. lol @ren: the fruit never falls far from the tree. you sure make the first paragraph translation better than google.... actually, the prologue is about 4 pages. yeah, some chaps are more than 20 pages and some just around 10 pages. and chapter 16 is actually chapter 15, but i decided to divide it because it's too long (over 40).. but you haven't read chapter 8 and above, right? |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-07-25 05:30:13 (edited 2009-07-25 06:41:37)
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Welcome Rastya!! The story's looking good so far! Well done to everybody for working so hard to help Rastya ^^ and yayyy~! Mokona loves elves!!! Well, sometimes it's not a bad thing to keep vocab simple- but i really see what you mean- well, if you can think of a word.. maybe try using an online thesaurus of some kind- it sorta helps you find a better word for the one you want to use.... if that makes sense ^^; E.g [Good] can be: brilliant, great, nice, fantastic etc. Oh and I really like the description going on in the first paragraphs! Btw, nice avvy Rastya! ^^ P.S: Renma- that was a really good effort on your part ^^ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ An Online Tale~ She watched herself getting killed. She stared into the callous killer's stone cold eyes. It was hopeless. She couldn't bring herself to scream. She backed herself up against the icy marble wall, making herself try not to think of what was coming next. Then, silently, the killer drew his knife and advanced towards her. She froze. She couldn't move her legs. She couldn't run. The killer continued to advance towards her. She watched herself getting stabbed, the knife raking through her chest and body, but she could do nothing. Everything went dark. Chanie stomped in frustration and gave a little growl. How can I do this? She repeatedly thought. She let out a long sigh and tried to steady her breathing. She hadn't realised the tension was making her all stiff. Her heart felt like it was caught in her throat. It was beating very quickly. It had been a long time since any computer game had put so much pressure on her. Chanie felt exhilarated, but at the same time annoyed that she had gotten so far, but still managed to get killed by a petty assassin- she felt stupid for falling into his trap. She relaxed in her chair and drank her coffee, which was now all cold, closing her eyes in deep thought. "Quest of Seidon". The name sounded cheesy, so she didn't want to admit to herself, or to Jace, that it was in fact an excellent game. Which meant a lot coming from her and her 11 years of gaming experience. |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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-bows- Am really sorry for this very late introduction. I'm very busy with school stuff so i hardly can reply. Anyhow, i'm Holkers. I'm Malaysian and i read most of interesting books... and also uninteresting books xD I'm 16. And my favorite genre of books would be fantasy and fiction. Well so far this is what i've been writing for the past.. 2 months. xD I've made a few re-write of the first chapter, since Hikky gave me some advice and i would like to have a few suggestion and help on my work. It does sound.. a little bit.. weird and childish. xD oh well here goes nothing. I'm pretty sure this is the first chapter of it. And i'm pretty sure all my grammatical are wrong and... well.. i don't have much education on English at school. Hope someone would mind give me some education. :3 The Next Generation of Jack Frost Chapter 1, Where it begins. Jack Frost was bored in his own “Blizzard†world. Jack, a mythical creature with elflike ears, blue sea coloured spiked hair, the body size of a normal young man with a blue coloured suit with a sharp shape like thunder tie, tuck around his pin-stripe shirt collar. Jack was sitting on the ground covered with pure white snow. He looked up on the air. All kinds shape like snowflakes falling down from the sky, landed on his face. He blinked when the first snowflake fall down and landed on his left eye. He looked around the place, it was empty and not a single soul can be heard, seen around. Jack sighed. The place was cover with snow, white snow. He placed his right hand under his chin and sighed. When he turned his head to his left, he found a stick, took the stick, and drew a small sad face on the ground. Suddenly, he heard a familiar sound; he knew the sound, a voice, a deep voice, because it said “Ho! Ho! Ho!†A small red, car look-a-like figure just appear on the sky. Jack looked up the figure. In a moment, he knew who was visiting him at the time he was bored. The figure landed a few feet away from where Jack sat. A round big man, with a red and white coloured suit came out from the car look-a-like. “Ho! Ho! Ho! How’s are you doing Jack?†boomed the man. “Santa Claus,†hissed Jack. “Ho! Ho! Ho! My visiting surprised you?†said Santa. He walked closer to Jack. “I thought you like the place you just created it!†“It’s been 3 years Santa. You look good,†said Jack. “Oh. Jack, you still haven’t changed, at all.†Smile Santa, a big bright warm smile that Jack hated it so much. “You are a good inspecting person, Santa.†Hissed Jack with a stern look. “What brings you to come to visit my palace?†“Well Jack, checking up how my old bud’ is!†laughed Santa. “I’m no your buddy.†Jack sighed. “I betrayed you last year.†“You did nothing bad, expect you put a fire in my kitchen.†Santa explained. Jack smiled. “Well, Mrs. Claus was teaching me how to cook a fish. She was worried if you live in my world and die. She told me, I might learn how to cook a fish, rather eating nothing but ice.†Santa laughed at this statement. “Well, you don’t seem to eat a fish either!†“What a lonely world is this.†Santa examined the place with his round face. “Why don’t you add something into this lonely world?†suggested Santa. Jack looked around the place. He sighed. “I’m too lazy to take care of them. I need to put recourses, names the villages. It’s too crappy and frustrated work!†“Well I heard the mythical creatures are having a bad time in their own home.†Santa said. “Why don’t you agree to help them out? By sharing your world with them?†“What?! Bringing them into my own world?†boomed Jack. “No way! This is my place! I created it by myself after you throw me out of your world!†Jack had stand straight up. When Santa his reaction, he knew, Jack has a cold heart inside his body. “He would refuse if you try too,†said Mrs. Claus when he suggested that Jack should help the poor mythical creatures. Santa sighed. “Jack, you’re all alone in this world. There’s no excitement in here. Nor can I see that you are having fun with this world either.†Jack shrugged and looked at the ground under him. He’s right. I’m alone and lonely in this world, thought Jack. “At least Jack. At least just, try. Mark as in a year. If you fail to progress the plan, just tell me about it. I will try to put the mythical creatures somewhere else but not in your world.†Santa suggested. Jack thought for a while. I own his old man something, thought Jack. Well, I don’t have any chance to say no. He’s right sometimes. Jack looked at Santa and finally made his decision. “Fine. I’ll try a year. If it fail and it didn’t succeeded, the creatures are out of my world. Do we have a deal here?†Santa nodded and went to hug Jack. “Golly good Jack! Yes, we have a deal here.†“Urgh, released me Santa.†Jack hissed. “Aww, someone doesn’t like Santa’s hug.†Santa said. “I’ll come back after a year to see how it works.†After Santa’s leaving, Jack sat down again in the same spot. Sharing, thought Jack. With the mythical creatures, in my world ... He sighed. For a year. Jack clapped his hand behind his head and soon he would snooze off, in the comfort snow. It wasn’t soon until Jack woke up again. He felt he found an idea to share his world with the mythical creatures. I got it! They can share my world as long as they worship me as their hero! Jack thought. Jack heap up, took the stick, and draw a few maps on the ground. He had named the world “Blizzardâ€; it’s time to share and talk about it with the others about his world. Jack made the “Blizzard†as cold as he like. It was unlike our earth. It took no end and no start. It was a beautiful white world. Sometimes you would think it was pearl all over the ground, but when you smashed the ground, you found out it was soft and comfort for laying down on it. Jack drew an “X†on the ground and begun his planning to share with the others. After drew the “Xâ€, he sat back on the ground. He thinks. What should I name the north? Jack thought. He landed on the ground again, with his hand clapped behind his head. Jack putted the stick inside his mouth and he bites it, as if it was the wheat grass. He looked up at the sky. It took him a day to think up a name. He heap up, took the stick, and write out the name under the “Northâ€. He drew a few mountain shaped and label it as Glacieron Mountain. Then, he putted the stick beside him and he lay down again on the ground. Think up a name for the “Westâ€. It been a week, Jack had named all the four parts. He look on his scrap on the ground, he was smiling. He loved the idea! Now, all he have to do was, where to put the creatures and added more recourses. He added an ice forest on the “East†part, while a long river placed between the “North†to the “Southâ€. Then all he last naming was the forest and the river. Again, he lay down back on the ground. He waved his hand on the air, writing a hidden word. Sometimes, he would wave the hand back and forth, as if he corrected the word repeatedly. It was soon the sketch is been done. Jack then took the sketch to Santa. He didn’t knock before he came into Santa’s office which is inside Santa’s headquarters. Santa at first thought it was just a play, by Jack, which he always did. But when Jack explain everything to Santa, Santa just heap up and shake Jack’s cold hand. “Well done Jack!†said Santa, happily. “I knew you would do it! Even you hate the naming part, eh?†“Yeah, that took me a day to think up,†said Jack. “A day? For a name? Jack, you’re not as stupid as you think you are! Look at these names! It’s fantastic! Mystery ... But still it was your hard work to name all these,†compliment Santa. Jack just shrugged as he did nothing but just designed the world. “Well, Santa you have to wait for a month. I haven’t done any changes in my world yet.†“Ho! Ho! Ho! Jack, take your time! This is not a challenge!†Santa laughed. “Well, if you don’t mind tell the creatures, I would like to help them, only, if they worship me as their hero, rather as their god.†Jack added. “Alright! I’ll spread the news by tomorrow. Go back to your world and work!†Santa laughed again. So, did Jack. He went back to “Blizzardâ€. First, all he need was a lot of rest. He needed more energy to make the “Blizzard†divided into four parts. It takes his whole life to build his own world. After a year, Jack woke up. He was looking very tired, but he reminded himself that he had sleep too long and it’s time to do Santa’s wish. He heap up and went up to the sky. He raised his hand and dropped them, and in the same time, a big ice mountain, just falls from the sky. He smiled and clapped at the scene. “Well, it’s “West†time!†said Jack. This time he clapped his hand twice. The “West†suddenly turned into an ice land. But empty. There he would put a few mammals, for the creatures’ recourses. Then he turned his body in 90 degrees. “It’s time for “Southâ€. Jack blew out a few breathe and suddenly the “South†had formed a big lake. Then he blew more breathe and made a river like shape up to the mountains, hiding. He stopped and catches his breath again before continues to the “East†part. This time he didn’t do anything. He went down to the “East†side. He searched around his left pocket on his pants. After he found a bag, he took it out. Then, with a single whistle the “East†part had been took the shape of a farmer’s field. Jack throw the thing, which was inside the little bag that he had took it out from his left pocket pants. It was a seed. A few seed inside the bag. He threw it around the field, like a mad man dancing around it. Jack went back to the place where he sleeps. He lay down there. Well, time for some rain to come down to fill the lake! Jack thought. And filled the “East†part! Jack was delighted when the rain came down from the sky. All he have to do was sleep again for a year. When he wake up he would tell Santa about it. Meanwhile, before Jack divided his world into four parts, Santa’s headquarters had filled with all the mythical creatures. “Calm down! Calm down! You don’t have to worry a single thing on Jack!†boomed Santa. “It’s been a year, Santa! He promised us that he will share his world with us!†Shout a centaur. “Yeah! My wife is going to have our offspring by this year!†continue by a young face elf man. “Calm down, please!†said Santa. “Jack must be on his work to those things! I’ve seen myself how big the thing is going to be, and it will be enough for all of you! You just need more patience for Jack!†explained Santa. “How long do we have to wait, Santa?†asked a dwarf. Everybody’s eyes were on Santa. Santa couldn’t answer the question. He looked ashamed and idiot in front of his entire friend, the mythical creatures. “Please, let me go visit Jack. Will you wait for my response?†plead Santa. Everybody looked at each other and silence felt the room. “Alright, Santa. We will wait for another year. If Jack isn’t doing anything and he had fooled us, we will have to stay here, with you Santa,†answer by an imp. Santa was relief with the answer. “Alright. Now creatures, you could have my barn. Stay there for a few months, until Jack done his plan. I’ll found out.†Jack yawned and the first thing he would like to look was his world divided into four beautiful parts. It was there, but he haven’t done the village place yet. He felt panicked. Soon he began his work again. This time with a few magical spells, since the creatures would be losing their patience. Santa is going to kill me, thought Jack. After a few long hours of working, he heard a voice. Can’t he change his sentences? Jack hissed. He was looking around the sky searching for the red car with a few deer in front of it, pulling and running. “Ho! Ho! Ho!†said the voice. The car landed in a ‘thud’ sound. Santa came out from his sleigh and walked to Jack. Jack had been standing greeting Santa with a smile. “Well, well ,well. Isn’t it Santa Claus. Aren’t you are holiday right now? Christmas passed isn’t it?†Jack thought for a moment. “Ho! Ho! Ho! Yes, Christmas had passed for almost two years Jack,†said Santa. “Oh, I’m sorry Santa. I lost track of the time while I was working with my world,†said Jack. Santa looked around it and was amazed how Jack managed to do all those thing by himself. He shrugged. “It seems, it’s done,†puzzled Santa. “Ha ha. Not yet, Santa. I’ve seen that face before. The creatures lost their patience, ain’t?†asked Jack. “Yes, they are,†said Santa. “When will you open it for them, Jack? For god sake’s, they are living in my barn!†“Ha ha! Your barn, where you putted your sleigh? Poor thing,†laughed Jack. “Jack, you can laugh, but it’s time to share your world with them,†said Santa. “Alright, alright. Stop the serious face. Let me marked the village’s name first,†said Jack. Jack continued his work. He made an icicle and named the village which had they own village plated. “Censtonshire†He named it. He made a delighted smile and went to Santa’s side. “Well, it’s official open for them,†announced Jack. “You can bring them now.†“Finally, Jack!†said Santa. He sighed and made a funny looking. Jack hold his laughter and was amazed by what Santa had done. In seconds, all the mythical creatures were arrived into “Blizzardâ€. “Welcome to “Blizzard†my dear friend!†boomed Santa. “Yes, welcome,†smiled Jack. Everybody cheered and ran into the village. They choose they own house and place. The scene was beautiful until Santa laughed with his tears in his eyes. Jack just watched the scene and yawned. So far i had all the characters in my mind, only the names are hard to be speak up. and so does the map of the world. So.. any comments and suggestion? xD Rastya: And welcome to the club Rastya! Nice work Rastya! Would love to see more! I've seen Jejechi's work before. Her's was awesome. Hmm.. maybe i should ask her to join in see if anybody agrees with me.. xD lol. Chapter 16?! I only got into .. chapter 1. Mokona: Nice work too! I read so fast and this is better then mine! Well then had to off again. Hope to read more! Anyone has a specific favorite book here?
I claimed someone that I can't remember because photobucket is ended.
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-08-01 11:05:18 (edited 2009-08-01 11:21:48)
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'Tis been a long time since I last dropped by. @Mokona: When they said "good things come in small packages," they might have your story in mind. It's short, yes, but it completely conveys a series of events unfolding, with the protagonist's frustration as its core. Keep it up! @Holkers: Though there are quite a handful of grammatical errors, I really enjoyed your story. It's quite easy to comprehend, yet there is depth in your elements, most notably the imaginative manipulation of characters from myth and folklore. Though you say it's childish, it had immediately become one of my favorites. I look forward to the continuation. For a specific favorite book, I have one - Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six. I am now reading Marx's and Engel's Communist Manifesto on reasons of pure academic curiosity. |
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Basil: Yep. My school doesn't really involves much English education. I'm very fond to folklore and myth characters. I've tried to study them out but couldn't get which is head and the toe. I figure i try a few bits of information in the first chapter. Thanks Basil! It is really childish enough for me. xD I've read to many storybooks rather real fiction. I have to many books and i can't tell which is my least favorites. But overall, I like to read about Sherlock Holmes. Okay guys, this is somehow a new short story i've made in 10 minutes. Which to my surprise it sounds awesome. xD The cake is a lie He sits down, sips his tea and put the cup down on the saucer. He looks back at the screen of the laptop and waits for it to wake up. She comes near to his table and puts his order near to the laptop. She smiles at him and turns away to another table. The laptop starts. He pulls out his thumb drive from his left breast pocket and plugs it into his laptop. A sounds come up indicates that his software is ready to use. He smiles and finishes his tea. He eyes focus on the order. It was a slice of a chocolate cake. He smiles wider and whispers to himself, “Oh my! I could enjoy this cake while this thumb drive ruins that bastard’s laptop!†He reaches the cake and chomps a big mouthful cake without using a proper manner of eating. He looks back at the laptop and pleased himself. The laptop had begun to made noises sound. The thumb drive had gave the laptop a full of evil virus. Within minutes, the laptop went blank. He starts to laugh but consider it again, since his not in his own private workplace. He looks at his watch, whispers to himself again, “Time is running out, I better get going.†He grabs the least small pieces of cake and places it into his mouth. He plugs out the thumb drive and heads for the restroom. She watches him goes to the restroom. He pushes the door of the restroom. She walks to the table and plugs her own thumb drive. He walks to the sink and realizes that he has been poisoned. She smiles. He chokes. She waits while the thumb drive sucks in the entire virus from the laptop. He falls into his knees, coughs out a few small pieces of cake, which he didn’t get enough time to swallow it down. She plugs out once it’s done. He drops to the floor, eyes wide. Within seconds another man comes to the table, where the laptop was still there, innocent as it can be. She comes near to him and puts on a new slice of chocolate cake and refills the cup. “Say, is there anyone sits at my table while I’m on a private call? I can see that this laptop is being touched, Ms. Mountie.†“Nope, no one came and sits here. I’m sorry. I accidently moved the laptop so I can wipe a few drops of tea on your table Mr. Palmer.†“I see. Well then, bon appétit for me!†She walks back to her counter, smiles widely. Serve you right Mr. Doe. You’ve just almost ruin my favorite customer's work. The cake was a lie. And again i'm sure there's more grammatical errors.
I claimed someone that I can't remember because photobucket is ended.
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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*Serves other than that, it's good.  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-08-02 06:38:05 |
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@holkers:very good @Rastya: just tell me if you need any help^^ @All; you will have to wait my storie.... It's harder then I think to translate it |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-08-02 10:14:38 |
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@Holkers Yeah, there are quite a few grammatical errors, but it's only minor; it does nothing to affect the story in any way. But it's quite a read; I enjoy particularly how you contrasted the waitress and the intruder. And one question - have you, in any way, made a reference to Portal? |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-08-02 10:26:14 |
@Holkers - *Thumbs up!* xD  |
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Re: Writers Club/Guild
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on 2009-08-03 13:00:28 |
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Holkers: Great work!!! I liked your first story very much (wait, where have I heard of Jack Frost before?- I sound dumb for asking, don't I? T_T ) ^^ yayy~ Santa!! Keep up the good work!! And your second story was deliciously evil mwhahaha *mmm chocolate cake~ * but i'll never look at cake in the same way again O.o Thanks for your comment on my story by the way! *blushes* aww, it wasn't that good heh. oh wait! I have Basil: Thanks a lot! :) Schaz: don't worry about it mate- take your time! ^^ |