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i'm depressed and......
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hello ,i'm depressed , i dont know why but i do know how. i'm kinda nervous since this is my first thread but... whatever i need to write this somewhere! i'll be glad if you share your story or even help me solve mine => so here's my story....... (sorry about my rough writing and bad english) i'm studying in china since last year and i'll be in here for the next 4 years. last year i'm studying chinese and now i'm a new freshman(undergrad prog) i'm indonesian 17y.o but i look EXACTLY like chinese but can't speak chinese really well but i passed the HSK5(new) . i'm shy and my mom say i'm a snobb . i don't like people who is fake and i always being honest. i'm carefree and lazy but i'm a hardworker. blablabla.... my problem is i've been depressed for days, there are alot of reasons why i'm depressed 1. i'm super sad cause it was the 100th day since my dad passed away and nor i remember or feel guilty 2. i don't get along with indonesians since i offended(i think) my roomate (she's indonesian) and she's friend with every single indonesian in my uni , so i have no single friend in the classroom , i always sit alone and no one sit near me, i sometimes sit behind my roomate and her friends but i don't want them to think that i get close to them because i have no friend, so i try to sit elsewhere and the result is no one sit near me (here's when i'm starting to think everyone hates me, but they don't even know me.. =_= ) . the mental pressure that i get in everyclass i'm in is super huge. i want to be friend with others but i have boys trauma (whenever they near i shivers) and everyone already have their own group. 3. i'm lack of self esteem (am i writing this correctly?)i always think i'm an ugly girl cause i'm short (147cm) and fat(54kg) plus ordinary face. because of those things i ended up going late to everyclass (due to i get lost since i don't know where's the classroom etc..) and the most important things is i lost the will power to got to classes, study ,etc. everytime in class i can only think that i am hated , everyone hates me , i'm a freak don't belong here,and at last... the childish me is out. i wanna go back to indonesia where's everyone friendly ,i regret going abroad i missed my friends, and in the break time i go back to my room and cry (30min walk back to the dorm) T.T i'm usually a very positive and strong person ,but this is my dark side. i think i'm very pathetic and stupid, but i can't help it! i just feel it! hope i can get help here, or maybe i just need to tell someone about how i feel life is hard yo... -_- but gotta keep on living and there's still 4 years left My God. hope i won't do anything stupid in the future....
" When you're 10 people call you a prodigy.
When you're 15 they call you a genius. Once you hit 20 you're just an ordinary person " -Free- ~ 2 years left to the path of ordinary ~ |
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Re: i'm depressed and......
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by
on 2013-09-17 07:04:24 |
I don't know how I could help but you could message me and i'll listen to your story :)  |
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Re: i'm depressed and......
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by
on 2013-09-18 23:59:13 |
| message me, we can talk about it |
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Re: i'm depressed and......
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actually the proble is solved after i post this, i think i just need a place to "release" it XDD sorry for the problem, but life is indeed toublesome >.>
" When you're 10 people call you a prodigy.
When you're 15 they call you a genius. Once you hit 20 you're just an ordinary person " -Free- ~ 2 years left to the path of ordinary ~ |
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Re: i'm depressed and......
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by
on 2013-09-27 13:03:00 |
| wow that's quick, anyway i hope u treasure your time with ur friends when u still can.. |