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My life problems..................................
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by
on 2011-03-07 08:23:06 |
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Dear humans, I may not have acquitted stories of my suffering to you all...... It's been more than a decade and I am sincerely starting to get sick of it......... It's EXTREMELY long but here's it. (I sincerely believe that the people here are capable of understanding what I have to say) Alright. We all know that whatever happens in life as a child can have extreme complications later in life. When I was young, life didn't really seem so well. I didn't like the people around me. Sadly....... To be frank, I just don't even have the time to write out a message to others begging for help........ The length of the message itself is so long and I just don't have time. I constantly read Psychology on Wikipedia just so that I can solve problems on my own cause I know no one in my proximity knows much -if at all- about Psychology, Philosophy, Religion, Sociology and all sorts of other things. It's as if the only thing in front of me is endless cave......... I just hope that someone can bear with me........... I just can't take it anymore....... I want some changes, I know what changes are to be made but there's no one with profound knowledge or at least well-read in these matters can help me for they're just so few and there's none in my proximity. It's driving me insane.... To think that I would have to bear with my problems for so long is maddening.  |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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on 2011-03-07 14:24:37 |
First off, to seek help here you might want to explain what your "life problem(s)" are first. 
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Re: My life problems..................................
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Yeah without any specifics I'm kind of gimped in the advice department. From what I gather you've identified/recognized some problems you want to fix, you don't have anyone to talk to about these problems, and are just frustrated. Sometimes talking with someone who may not be as versed in a certain subject will help you break it down into its fundamental pieces and, in that process, help you gather a better understanding yourself. So just talk; it's usually the most unlikely people that will offer the best advice. As you said in your post, "you know what changes are to be made" so unless you misspoke, go do it. If there's one thing I hate about life it's complacency so if it is something you truly wish to do then try to accomplish it. Don't fear failure because the wisdom you gain from it is invaluable. In short, I wish you the best of luck so strap your boots on, find your determination, and take responsibility for your own life. |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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on 2011-03-08 01:17:21 (edited 2011-03-08 01:17:54)
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Hi. Alright, I've managed to list down items of interest. 1: My fears are ludicrous (A title I came up during my Biology test just a few hours ago) (1): Fear of the loss of identity I fear that I would lose my identity the more I try to conform to society and its not-so-just laws. (No, not all laws are unjust). Furthermore, Identity is extremely important if you know what I mean...... (2): Fear of forgetting what I know/learned I fear that I would forget the valuable insights in other fields the more I act like a robot and just do whatever the teacher says -such as homework- or whatever other people say or even the society. I good parable would be: 'I do so many things -like most people experience when working or just doing a volcano of homework- until I forgot the things that I previously learned; PARTICULARLY my knowledge regarding psychology or linguistics or history other than the ones being taught in school textbooks and so on.' (3): Fear of being isolated/alone/lonely/abandoned/betrayed. Tis' one I shalt save for later. (When I have free time that is) (4): Fear of being a 'sheep in a flock of sheep' Get it? Tis' one a bit different but related to article one. I JUST DON'T WANNA BE INDOCTRINATED IN THINGS AND LEFT FOR DEAD. I DON'T WANNA BE LIKE A 'ROBOT'/'AUTOMATON' IN LIFE. WORST THING EVER. A good example would be looking at the numerous daily reports of fanatical and absolutely mad 'freaks of humanity'. (I.E the Muslim extremists, their absolutely ludicrous 'Jewish & Western Conspiracy', the -in my opinion- highly heretical and superstitious Wahhabism, the 'Islamic State' concept and so many others. Oh, and especially their almost robot like responses to practically any statement regarding certain things. [Though, not all are like this. No, not all Muslims are like this]) (5): Fear of not living up to others' or personal expectations/personal goals I.E due to the personal obsession of trying to heal my mental and emotional ailments, I fail to do chores/duties/schoolwork yada;yada;yada. I shirk my duties AND IT AIN'T PLEASANT. I REPEAT "IT IS NOT PLEASANT" (Causes large amounts of cognitive dissonance) (6): Fear of death before goals are accomplished I basically fear that I haven't done much good on this planet. I am in constant doubt of what good I did in life. You know, it really does get back at you sometimes. (I mean I DID THREATENED MY PREVIOUS '&' LAST MAID 'WITH A KNIFE') (7): My absolute hatred (war) and fear of ignorance or being ignorant Personally, this is probably one of those things that I just hate the most. You know, just looking at people going about their lives, doing this doing that; following the norms of society and become automatons; not challenging societal, cultural and religious dogma/doctrine; not seeking correct facts; not seeking knowledge in depth, all these things drive me up the roof and is the source of some of my madness. In fact, due to may absolute hatred of being like an automaton and having no sense of individuality, I flounder in my ability to complete tasks PRESCRIBED BY THE SOCIETY/OTHERS. Man, will this ever end. (NO, this does not mean that I hate ditzy people, I just don't like ignorance. Maybe it is because I believe in Salvation and the Afterlife where those who really are endowed with knowledge can pass. This is an EXTREMELY complex matter and would take up some time to explain) (8): Lack of, of absence of 'genuine' intimacy be it physical or emotional The complications are a bit long to describe but here's the thing. I have experienced childhood in distraught, and this means that I just am lacking in it. (No, remember, just because someone has friends and acquaintances doesn't mean that the person even enjoys life with them. Also, just because someone is having fun playing games, reading manga, watching anime also does not mean that the person is happy or joyed.) (9): Envious of 'free' people Now then, WHAT DO I MEAN BY FREE? What I MEANT by free are the people who have 100% full human rights. Especially people in the U.S/Canada. I'm pretty envious. (AND HELL NO AM I GONNA STAY IN COUNTRIES LIKE IRAN, PAKISTAN, NORTH KOREA, CHINA, AFGHANISTAN, IRAQ, SAUDI ARABIA, SUDAN) Some of the consequences: 1): Intellectual arrogance (Or PERCEIVED INTELLECTUAL ARROGANCE BY OTHERS THAT IS) 2): Selfishness born of depressing life experiences; fueled by fear of isolation and loneliness 3): Hypocrisy due to failing to fulfill expectations/goals and breaking promises due to my obsessive quest to solve my life problems. 4): Increasing laziness & lack of motivation for each failure; be it in solving my life problems or fulfilling my obligations In relation to Erik Erikson's 8 stages of life theory: ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erikson%27s_stages_of_psychosocial_development ) Stage 1: Passed normally Stages 2-4: Failed or conditions or goals of stages not satisfied/satisfactory Stage 5-6: Currently experiencing (Stage 6 is now a part of me) Stage 7: Experiencing only particular dilemmas (Not actual stage yet) Stage 8: Dude, I AM NOT 65 YEARS OLD Attachment Style: ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory ) , ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_measures ) , ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults ) Mine? (Fearful-Avoidant) Here's some links: ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory ) , ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_measures ) , ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erikson%27s_stages_of_psychosocial_development ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTJ ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qur%27an_alone ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberal_Islam ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_Hadith ) ( http://www.irshadmanji.com/ ) ( http://ahl-alquran.com/English/main.php ) ( http://www.jihadwatch.org/ ) ( http://liberalislam.net/ ) ( http://www.youtube.com/user/QuranVsHadith#p/c/F80CCB766B1A848F ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depression ) ( http://www.irshadmanji.com/PDFS/ReformistTranslation.pdf ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_Islamism ) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wahhabi ) I REPEAT & I REPEAT AGAIN, you do NOT have to force yourself to help me, accept my views or read what the information on some of the links that are given. I repeat, do no force and I AM NO FORCING you, I am just asking those who want to help to come and help me. |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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Why fear the loss of identity? Indoctrination is a complicated process, that, to work properly, must start start at an early age. It seems that indoctrination at your place has failed making you a supporter of the ideology in power. So you don't need to worry about that. After passing those critical years without being overrun by state indoctrination, you'll only act accordingly if you fear the repression. And in that case, you're not being a critical thoughtless person, just someone that decided to avoid the punishment. About forgetting, you shouldn't worry about that too. If hold dearly those things you learned you won't forget it right away. Experience thought me that the more you like some subject, the more you're able to memorize. So unless something bad happens to, G-d forbids, like some damage at your brain, you'll be fine. |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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on 2011-03-09 07:39:23 |
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Yeah, thanks... For assuring me........... Hmm, when I contemplated on my life just a few hours ago, (Malaysian Time) I managed to 'face' it that I was just too lonely since the beginning...... And, due to the bad things that people do to others and to me, I started to get depressed....... Bigger blows were dealt when I realized that the people around me were quite 'ignorant'. I wonder........ What is it that I need to do to just, you know, make me feel like I do 'have someone'? That is the part that I always fail...... I wonder, it's just that, talking; chatting; posting replies; laughing etc are basic functions that I do everyday but, you know, I just want that social fulfillment; I just want my most fundamental need to be fulfilled. But who? I don't know; I just don't know who...... And, if I did manage to find out/choose who, then what do we do together/I do after that? What?...... These are questions that I just have no answer. |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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on 2011-03-09 13:41:09 |
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Basically most of your problems are "fears". The only solution to that is to tolerate. That's the only ways to fight fears that exist. |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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by
on 2011-03-09 23:02:42 (edited 2011-03-10 14:29:08)
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Well... About your fear of forgetting, it shouldn't, repeat, SHOULDN'T be feared at all. Forgetting is an everyday thing that everybody experiences at all times. The thing about information in your memory is, if you don't use it, you (sort of) lose it. Sounds cliche, but it's true. If you don't use the information there often, you're less likely to be able to recall the information when you need it. I really doubt you'll be contantly using ALL the information you know on a regular bases, so some will fade from time, but it's nothing to be afraid of. This includes everything from basic knowledge to just what you did 24 hours ago. Using it also means thinking about it, so if a memory is more memorable, chances are it'll be easier to recall. Oh and about your knowledge of psychology, philosophy, etc. The way you are using it right now makes me believe that it won't be going far any time soon. =3 About your fear of being alone, what is there to fear? Being by yourself can be a good thing. Coming from a person who really likes himself, (lol) it just a good thing. And besides, there isn't really such a thing as being alone. Isolated maybe, but that barrier that isolates you is amazingly easy to break through. Abandoned and betrayed... Well, those are things you have to expect. You can't control people, so some people will value some things over others and possibly lead to one of those two. You just have to keep an eye out and make sure you reduce the damage done. Yeah, it DOES hurt like hell, but just avoid or man up to the negative side of all of it and you'll be fine. Fear of not living up to others and yourself? Well, first off. Screw others. You don't live YOUR life for THEIR sake. Sure you came from and/or were raised by your parents, but they should live their own life. Parents' expectations are only because they wish the best for you, in a parental way. As for yourself. If you find it difficult to live up to your personal goals, then maybe you should set better goals. I remember there was some method... Uhhh... SMART I think. Just set Specific, Measurable, ATTAINABLE, REALISTIC, and Timed goals. Take in consideration of your situation too. If you're doing poorly in something, don't set a goal for godly just yet. Work up to it. If you set goals and expectations that way, you shouldn't have too much of a problem. If you're a perfectionist, then just try to loosen your expectations a bit. Fear of death before accomplished goals. See above. Just try and think smaller. It might help if you do a bunch of smaller things that make you feel accomplished, rather than grind towards a few huge goals. It puts a lot more pressure on you, which isn't really necessary. And don't think about the things you believe are "bad". May sound cheesy, but stay with the present. If you really care about it a lot. Redeem it. That doesn't mean try to undo or fix it, just balance it out with some "good". About ignorance and such, I personally believe that some people choose to ignore just because they don't want anything that may be unpleasent to them. Sure, they live in this world and are part of it, but they also have a life to live, and some would rather spend as much time out of all of it avoiding unpleasentness, sadness, or stress. It could be considered ignorant, sure, but it could also be considered "smart". Ahh, so much brain-using. xD I'm a little lazy right now, so I'll cut it off here for now.  |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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on 2011-03-09 23:13:08 |
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You really know what to do huh, Komaro-kun..... The more I look at your siggy's the more I start to think that a girl's speaking tuh' me. TEE HEE XD (Well, I guess that's a given since almost everyone here uses an 'idealized' anime/manga version of his/herself) Yeah, come to think of it, you're right. YOU ARE RIGHT :D Hmm, I guess I AM thinking to much huh.......... Gotta loosen up a bit. Perhaps I'll cook for myself THREE pax of instant noodlez. (Ever heard of 'MAGGI' anyone?) |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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on 2011-03-19 00:13:03 |
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Maybe it's a trap. =3 Nah, it's not. Merry and weird "chinese" loli from IS are just awesome. Well if the problem is just over thinking, then it's insanely easy to take care of it. I hope your instant noodles did the job for you. xD |
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Re: My life problems..................................
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| I just want to add that it is okay to have some fear because sometimes fear is the drive that moves us. For example....fear of being alone moves us to find some companions and friends and etc...fear of failure moves us to find some ways to achieved success...so...sometimes it is okay to fear as it is a process in your journey called "Life". |