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Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by wind-spear5
on 2008-05-28 15:48:59
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| Ok just to let you know respect and honesty are both virtuous, but there have been times when I personally entered a situation when I had to compromise one of these virtues for the other. So in other words there have been times when I wanted to say something to my mother about some of her more negative attributes, but I held back because I wanted to be respectful(I know you would too). So has there been a situation when you felt you were forced to hold back either your respect or honesty to allow the other virtue to prevail, or in other words hold back respect to be honest? Like somebody has bad B.O and you want to tell that person that they should clean themselves and they smell, but you don't want to hurt the person's feelings so do you tell them they smell or do you refrain yourself and remain respectful? |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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| Dude, thats a classical questioning on Ethics (that what to do situation). In all those cases i would go for respect, but thats not a reason for covering the truth. So on a calm moment, i'd tell my mom (of course after considering all the words lol) about the negative aspect as u said, and hoping she wont get really mad about it too. Regarding the friend, its the same situation. However with the friend things might go better than with ur mother, especially because the indirect sayings go unnoticed before most our friends, in the case of our mothers, since she knows us for so long she can tell them right away what we're plotting. |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by
 
on 2008-05-29 10:06:53 (edited 2008-05-29 10:07:17)
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Lol, I hate it when it comes to sitting beside annoying person (does not matter if he/she stinks, loud, or even applying make-up or happy slapping) in the bus. But what the heck I can do? Knock their faces out with "Yo momma" jokes? I rather just respect that annoying person. As long as they don't ask me stupid questions or even annoy me verbally, I'm fine with it. I could just keep on smiling without any means of honesty. Yep, respect people. |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by zparticus27
on 2008-05-29 10:13:55
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um just say it in a honest and respectful way? but we all know this wont work since the other party will either treat is as sarcasm or offensive... guess respect then, but then again...respecting the other person to try to avoid the truth will make things worse... like mr. magical's example of a smelly person...if you respect them and refrain from telling them then they would shrug it off and end up being more humiliated when strangers would tell them that they smell, instead of you,the friend, telling him/her... so its a matter of timing on when to be respectful or honest |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by
on 2008-05-29 19:43:58 |
If someone had bad B.O. I'd give them some deodorant, but in a nice bag. :) 
So I drove into a parking lot one time and saw this person pull into a handicap parking spot. When you think handicap, you think wheelchair and whatever, right? So it just ticked me off when I saw the guy come out of the car perfectly fine. So then I ran him over. |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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Well, speaking of other people, what about you? Maybe somethings you do hurt or annoy others, but they can't say it aloud out of respect. And if they say it, those honest words will hurt you. I used to laugh at my neighbor because he never drew the drapes when he changed but then one day I discovered that my curtains were made of thin fabrics and you could actually see through it! When I realized that, I began to understand why he used to laugh at me! XD So you see? You can be the one being laughed at too!  |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by
on 2008-06-03 07:08:42 |
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lol I guess like Zparticus said, it's a matter of timing. I didn't say being honest is a no-no~ usually it's always the close friends/relatives/collegues/lovers would tell the truth to each other, as long as they trust each other. A stinky boyfriend would buy a deodorant after listening to his fragrant girlfriend--- but not from strangers who suddenly knock him off with "Yo momma" jokes or even some stranger's polite suggestions. Respect people is like looking at a piece of art. Being honest to people is like criticising that piece of art. What I am trying to say is anybody have the right to be (brutally) honest to anyone, no matter how respectful they are. |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by
on 2008-06-20 11:13:31 (edited 2008-06-20 11:20:57)
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um.. rather than comparing these two..why don't we find a solution for it? XD for your problems i have seen,mr. magical~i thought for awhile.. i do not really think that you are confronting honesty just because you respect the people.. how to say um.. Giving example: -your friend and you go to shopping.So he finds a shirt and wears it,asking you if it is nice to him..but seriously..to you..the shirt does not compatible to him but you are having trouble to tell him because you respect him.. you got 2 options: a)say that it is not good and tell him to give up the shirt b)tell him it is very match to him and tell him to buy it both got consequences.. just see how big it is.. a-he might get upset b-if he found out the shirt is not compatible to him.. he get mad of you for not telling him and thought you are not honest with him so..you are getting really trouble..not knowing what to choose.. ^__^ but look carefully..there..there is another answer.. choose the 'C'.. (no? i have not given you the 'c'?)-create it! (what i mean is.. don't just look about 1-sided and think that there is only 2 options to choose.. think of combining them perfectly) back to the topic.. you can't really compare respect and honesty since they are strongly related.. because you respect,that is why you need to be honest.. (you know.. honesty is a type of respect too) about the solution.. you need to use a soft tone and tell him 'your opinion' -tell him about the shirt.. on your point of view -tell him to consider your point of view and think of it -give him comparison.. (so you won't really lose respect and honest..they are both inside..just depend on how you act) so when you are confronting your mother.. try using a different way and say for opinion only.. like 'mom..why don't you try to be.. ' or tell her how you feel for her negative attributes..(In your opinion and not directly insult of her negative attributes) eventually..i believe she would listen to it..(whether she change or not..that's her choice..her decision..but you shall be the one that try to make her understand 'that is bad to her' and thus let her change for herself-a kind of respect and honest too~because you respect her,you honestly tell her how you feel about it,right?) and about how people smell.. um personally i would just ignore it.. because .. it does not really harm me..(right?) but if you really offended so much.. you can try to tell him/her(well.. not directly insult like 'OMG you are so smelly or something like that' maybe more of a formal method.. 'um.. i wish to tell you something.. or do not feel any offense..'(when you both are privately together..) or just present him a perfume or on the other way,you use the perfume to cover his smell(that should get rid of the smell..right?) (isn't it to find a solution better to carry out the whole thing? ^^;;?) |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by
on 2008-06-20 15:27:24 |
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Any opinion can be the honest opinion~! Opinion is just opinion~ can be lies, can be truths, can be in/formal, can be unrealistic whatsoever. Combining the two options won't make any difference, but it sure affects the perception of the person! You're making it more confusing and indecisive. Is it good? Is it bad? Hell, what is it?! |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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oh this question? u know? on of the judges in Miss Indonesia contest gave such this question to one of the contestant n she answered "honesty". but i prefer respect ever since not all ppl can accept someone's honesty. if i can b honest, i really want to punch my civics teacher. but if i do it, or at least i tell her, "maam, i hate u so much. i wanna punch u!" then things r getting worse. so i prefer being respectful. |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by
on 2008-06-21 01:26:58 |
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farboct: opinions are how you look through your perspective.. it is not true or lies.. it is based on how you look.. i do not think i make it confuse and indecisive.. i respect the person to choose the final decision based on what i have given through my opinion an opinion..you make your opinion based on your honesty..and it can't be lie.. if you could see.. you need to think to lie but opinion..you see what you see and tell him/her about it.. it has no TRUE OR FALSE in opinion.. OK?^_^ |
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Re: Virtues: Respect vs Honesty
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by
on 2008-07-11 17:27:23 |
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The way I see it, respect and honesty go closely together. I lie to people I disrespect, might lie to those I'm neutral about and don't lie to those whom I respect. When I talk and act, honesty is a sign that I hold the other in high regard and I consequently hope that they respect me enough to be direct and truthful toward me. |