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what should i do?
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if your boyfriend who's from overseas promised he'll come to visit you... but... the trip took more than a month because he told you he had asthma attack and got stuck everywhere... and a lady... according to the person who informed me about everything of your boyfriend... he is now in the hospital and stuffs... and the lady was just a random stranger who was in the plane with my boyfriend... she followed everywhere my boyfriend goes now... should i believe in their words? i never see any one of the stuffs they told me... should i break up with him...? what should i do? |
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Re: what should i do?
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on 2007-09-14 09:24:35 |
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Well from what I read here, it doesn't sound like they're doing anything wrong. If you have no direct proof, then don't jump the gun just yet. Plus, he had an asthma attack and someone came to help out. If it was a guy, it would've been less suspicious, right? But in this case, it's some "random strange" who is a female (from what I read here). Maybe they just became really close friends since he had a really direct attack and needed someone there for him. You weren't there for him, but this random strange stepped in and gave him a helping hand. How long have you two been going out? And... did the month start now or was this a while ago (or a month ago or so)? 
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Re: what should i do?
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| i never see him or meet him before... we were start dating online a year ago... my mom and my sis found this whole thing suspicious... i'm not sure how to feel or think... |
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Re: what should i do?
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on 2007-09-14 09:59:17 |
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Did you get a chance to talk to him about things while he was on his trip? I can understand why you would feel suspicious, but at the same time don't risk anything. I've had friends that did crazy stuff and broke up without any type of discussion or proof. Misunderstandings are heavy weight in relationships and can break up a couple instantly... How longer until he actually visits? He must really care if he's going all this way just to seee you for the very first time. o^_^o
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Re: what should i do?
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| the problem is... i don't even know if he was on the plane or what... and there's one more crazy thing he did is... he left a note with his passport... (which i dunno whether it could be done or not) that said... if i left him... or broke up with him... and he was on a treatment... he wanted the life maintaining machines being take off... i'm not sure how true his words are... cuz whatever he said... i never see them... cannot prove either... cuz every time he was trying to come... there must be something happened... like his grandmother passed away... his mother accident... his sister fell sick... alot alot reasons given... |
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Re: what should i do?
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on 2007-09-16 02:40:58 |
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Hmm, he started to sound okay until I read the last sentence or so with him saying all those excuses. Well it does sound suspicious to me, but I still can't tell for sure. You can't either... Can you contact him via phone or something? I'm not sure what else you can do here but wait for him to finally arrive.
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Re: what should i do?
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| he wants me to go to him instead... i can't call him through phone... all kind of excuses given when i wanna talk to him through phone... |
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Re: what should i do?
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by
 ガオォォ
on 2007-09-16 03:05:42 (edited 2007-09-16 03:08:32)
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from what i've read here,the guy does sound suspicious..especially the excuses part,but i don't think he is trying to cheat you or anything.. because if he's coming from somewhere else,and he would take the trouble to tell u he's coming,i really don't think he's lying.From my point of view,doing all this stuff is really troublesome,plus if he;'s really sick,u shouldn't decide what to do like break up or w/e 1st.. try asking him to send u a mail,NOT email or w/e,send an actual mail through the post or something,or ask him to show u his photo..or if u got msn,can ask him record voice clips,if he is not lying,he should be able to do this much. oh and about ur mum and sis...these stuff is best not to involve them too much..well i think its kinda personal..i mean for u,plus its u who's dating him,not them.so unless u think u can't handle this type of situations..u can consult their help,but if u feel mature enough,try handling it yourself,trust me,when it gets troublesome,its REALLY irritating for u if ur family members get involved.. EDIT:i FORGOT to give my advices about the going to him part sorry haha! OK,do NOT go to him 1st..like i said,ask him to send u a mail,or something,like a photo,voice clips,etc to proof he is really what he has been telling u..of course,that would test both of ur trust for each other..well if he would go that far as to say to stop the life support stuff thing,he should be able to do this much right?well i think he should.. |
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Re: what should i do?
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| if he wouldn't do those... i mean... those to prove himself not lying or really in somewhere else... i could leave him already...? |
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Re: what should i do?
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by
ガオォォ
on 2007-09-16 03:37:11 |
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OK,if he can't do those little stuff i mentioned..means either he's lying,or...he doesn't have the means to do them yet?-.-seriously..for him to send u a mail..now that i think of it..must give him ur address:s..which is dangerous. OK forget the mail thing,if he can't record a voice clip,or can't even show u his picture,ask him to go take a pic of himself and put it into his computer,he can definitely do this,since he could get his passport and try to fly over to see u,idk,fly swim w/e haha>< srysry jk give him like 2 days or so to get a pic of himself into his comp to show u,if he can't do it immediately,if after the 2 or so days,depending how long u can wait,if he still can't do anything to prove he's not lying,then u can..uh well i have no right to tell u to leave him,u can do what u want at that point i guess,but this is coming from my opinion alone,it's hopeless if all i said he can't do. I mean..u said u have been dating him online from a year ago right?A year! and u don't even know what he looks like?ok well if u think it's ok then it's ok i guess.. |
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Re: what should i do?
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| i know how he looks like... but honestly... thanks for the advices given... and yeah... you are right... solving this kind of things... should not involve family members... they aren't gonna help but mess things up... |
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Re: what should i do?
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on 2007-09-16 16:43:15 |
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heres the best advice i think that will ever come from me: (i say this to everybody) Follow your Heart |
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Re: what should i do?
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on 2007-09-25 00:16:03 |
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Well...not only your heart, your intuitions too. 
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Re: what should i do?
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Well don't doubt him just yet. First off I went to Malaysia to see Honeyko for the first time and spent a month there. We've been dating for about a year too. I am sure you spent plenty of time talking to him online. Usually you can tell what kind of person he is from that. If you have any doubts it should be based off what you have learned about him the past year and not in this sudden instance. And if he says he is sick, it is not unlikely. America is not the land of health. People are rather unhealthy around here. And your first posts @_@ it was everywhere. I could hardly tell whats going on. I say don't panic and be patient. Just talk a lot and see things through slowly and safely. As long as you can keep in contact with him, things should be alright. You should try to get more information on his sickness and what hospital he is staying at. There is always tests of trust to take if you want to. You should have each others address by now. You can possibly share passwords with each other if you can trust each other that much.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: what should i do?
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on 2007-09-25 23:45:28 |
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Well i might be judging this from not personal experience but close friends and even siblings but your little quarrel sounds like he is just egging you on. I mena sickness, family deaths i mean they might be true but are they really why he cant make it to see you i mean if he really loved you he would of been to you already with an inhaler in hand. I am not trying to offend you in any way but due to seeing friends suffer the whole time and almost go crazy from the anxiety their bf and gf have caused them is very saddening. But as people say follow your heart and before you do that weigh out the consequences. Like if i continue with this relationship will this bring me any closer to him, am i making other people suffer cause of my actions and decisions and do i really love him?. Sorry if i sound like a fence jumper but either ways you make the decisions don't bring anyone else in this other than you and him and maybe that girl that follows him see why and how is she following him.  |