|
Global Warming Solution: Paul Bunyan
Link |
by
on 2006-11-16 23:36:57 (edited 2006-11-17 00:12:57)
|
|
Problem: Each year about 255 million tons of CO2 are released by active volcanos. Solution: Paul Bunyan uses his laser eyes to turn trees into rock and then clogs all the volcanos with them. Problem: China might someday overtake the USA as number one producer of CO2. Solution: Paul Bunyan asks China nicely to use alternative fuel sources. They do what he says since he is 100 feet tall. Problem: SUVs. Solution: Paul Bunyan introduces additional taxation for SUV owners. Problem: Decomposing biological matter releases a lot of CO2. Solution: Paul Bunyan clears the forest of dead brush and fallen trees with a giant rake, then sends it to the Moon, making the moon look kind of disheveled. Problem: Al Gore is scaring people into believing that global warming due to human-produced carbon dioxide emissions will be catastrophic in the extremely short term by drawing unscientific conclusions and making biased analysis of data. The ends do not seem to justify the means. Solution: Paul Bunyan prepares a power-point presentation with the same research but presents it in a more honest and unbiased manner, allowing the viewer to draw their own moral conclusions given all the facts and probabilities. Then he flicks Al Gore all the way to Kazakhstan. Problem: People just aren't ecologically minded enough to do their part to make a difference, in their daily lives or at the poles. Solution: Paul Bunyan appears in a series of public service announcements - along side Scruff McGruff, Smokey The Bear, and Jesus - warning kids to stay in school and off Carbon Dioxide. Problem: Newly industrialized nations turn to coal as a major energy source. Burning coal is inefficient and dirty! Solution: Paul Bunyan turns all the coal in the world into high-grade petroleum by means of the Fischer-Tropsch process. 
|
|
Re: Global Warming Solution: Paul Bunyan
|
|
Paul Bunyan... a genius economist, hard-worker, diligent and 100 feet tall... The ultimate problem solver...  Kneel Before the Great and Benevolent Cow! |
|
Re: Global Warming Solution: Paul Bunyan
Link |
by
on 2006-11-17 00:00:27 (edited 2006-11-17 00:00:51)
|
|
What's the difference between Paul Bunyan and Mr. T? Click here for the answer!
|
|
Re: Global Warming Solution: Paul Bunyan
Link |
by
on 2006-11-23 00:41:12 |
|
Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick CO2 off of the planet
[Quiet dogs know when to be silent]
Sheep & Tiojar's Anime Episodes |
|
Re: Global Warming Solution: Paul Bunyan
Link |
by ... I don't need one
on 2006-11-25 19:48:21 (edited 2006-11-25 20:05:03)
|
|
If there is no CO2, then the plants would die, making the Earth less safe, since we can not turn our waste into glucose (plant sugar) and oxygen. Problem: Gendou-dono is the ultimate person Solution: None, not even Paul Bunyan. He will just take over our lives by emmiting other trash to us* to live lowly. Problem: There is all this energy coming from the Sun that we do not harness Solution: Paul Bunyan makes the solar energy become efficent by providing space power stations at the ring of life. Problem: We do not know the past well enough. People make guesses on historical events. (Including 9/11, The Civil War, Joan of Arc, and a numerous amount of events) Solution: A time machine with the energy that is harnessed with the solar energy that Paul gave us and also his intelligence (with the help of Gendou) will provide a time machine for us. The other thing to do is to delete history as a factual subject, and make it partually factual. Problem: Decomposing biological matter releases a lot of CO2. Solution: Paul rakes the trees, and uses the dead trees to plug up an active volcano. Problem: After the trees are plugging the volcanoes, the trees go up in flames due to autoignition. Solution: Use the flames to cook Paul Bunyan a breakfast. Problem: There are too many idiots in the world. Solution: The idiots die by Paul Bunyan forcing the stupid people to commit suicide (or just kill them, since they are idiots). * JKJK ^_^
... I don't care...
|