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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
 
on 2010-08-02 14:01:15 |
Awwwww ^////////^ Thanks you guys.  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-08-02 08:00:26 |
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@ Rie- Nice poem, but like what Anke said the grammar is off because of the translator. And your second poem is really good too! @ Koy- Welcome to the club! And I don't know Kenneth Slessor either (Then I don't know too many poets, just my favorite poet, Robert Frost, and Shel Silverstein.) But if that's one of his poems he seems like a good poet! (And instead of typing it, you could just copy and paste it or link to the source of the poem, something like that) XD @ Tifa- Anke's right, your poems are good too!  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-08-02 03:41:39 (edited 2010-08-02 03:44:25)
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very nice i like the nature theme try to incorporate more imagery cos they are very powerful :D some grammatical errors but i can understand :D @Rin: his works are pretty good i have to learn about his stuff at school and its taught me to appreciate poetry he usually talks about the effects of time and his use of imagery is very vivid and sensually evokative. At first some might see him as a bleak poet but i think hes just being realistic and shows that we should enjoy the brief moments of life i think his poems have to read out loud to be appreciated cos he deals with sound very delicately and powerfully i typed Sleep up if you have time, take a look at the others like Out of Time and Elegy in a Botanic Gardens i particularly like those some of his poems are longer so im too lazy to type it up :P ===== Sleep Do you give yourself to me utterly, Body and no-body, flesh and no-flesh, Not as a fugitive, blindly or bitterly, But as a child might, with no other wish? Yes, utterly. Then i shall bear you down my estuary, Carry you and ferry you to burial mysteriously, Take you and receive you, Consume you, engulf you, In the huge cave, my belly, lave you With huger waves continually. And you shall cling and clamber there And slumber there, in that dumb chamber, Beat with my blood's beat, hear my heart move Blindly in bones that ride above you, Delve in my flesh, dissolved and bedded, Through viewless valves embodied so- Till daylight, the expulsion and awakening, The riving and the driving forth, Life with remorseless forceps beckoning- Pangs and betrays of harsh birth. |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by Rie Hirayuki
on 2010-08-02 00:16:03 (edited 2010-08-02 00:17:29)
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@ Anke: thanks for the compliment. I hope my English improved. This is my second poem. I hope you guys like to read it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I do not know. I took a piece of paper and a pen. I tried start to writting. sequence of words which I hope is able to express this feeling I tried to describe it with a mountain. but even the highest mountain ... unable to match the height of this feeling. oceans may be able to describe it. but all the oceans on the face of this earth. unable to reach them this feeling. ah ... this nature may be better able to show it. leaves, singing birds, or morning sun. all kinds of beauty on this earth but still, this feeling more beautiful my pen is still hanging. i don't know what some kind words to write. friends, can you help me? to find words that can express this feeling.. 
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-08-01 19:11:14 |
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@ Koy - Well I'm glad you like the poems! I don't know a poet by that name, what does he write about? @ Tifa - Don't be jealous! Your own poetry is good!  |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-08-01 08:21:11 |
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I must say that reading ovder everyones poems and not just my own is actually very exciting. I love the emotion and the feelings expressed be each and everyone. I must say that I am very impressed and envious at how good some of the others here are. |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-31 21:40:01 |
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thanks! :D do you know the poet Kenneth Slessor btw |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-31 21:38:34 |
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Of course Koy! I'll add you to the front post as soon as I get the chance! Welcome to the club!! |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-31 21:26:46 (edited 2011-09-11 05:07:56)
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im not a good writer so can i wanna b a reader in this club? |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-31 15:55:09 |
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@ Rie - I really like your poem. The grammar is a little off, but that is expected with a google translator. They don't work well with the verb conjugation. I'm sure that your English will improve though, the more you write! So keep up the good work!! |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by Rie Hirayuki
on 2010-07-29 22:07:16 (edited 2010-07-30 01:50:31)
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hi all. This my first poem. I made when I was in junior high school. I hope you all like it. maybe a bit weird. because I only use google translate to translate this poem. >_< my english is so poor. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- the day of me when realized, I cry I put myself in bondage distanced me from my day night has passed but my day did not come the sun shone with a brightness but ... the light is not up to me My Day ... I saw him there I tried to chase but these chains holding me My sun gone passed and went away leave me in my darkness
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-29 13:36:44 |
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@ Hana- Welcome! Like what Anke said, please just read the rules and have a post in the proper format of joining the club. And I like your poem! @ Tifa- It's fine, I know what having writers block is like and I hate it so much. >< Well, I hope you get over your writers block soon! |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-29 07:52:21 |
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well i updated one yet i've had writers block right now so my peotry skill and poetry submission have been lacking. Gomenasai. T-T |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-07-28 17:33:35 |
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@ Hana - I really like your poem!!! It tells the tale of life that we all go though! I'm going to assume it is untitled? Anyway, I'm pretty sure you're a new face here so welcome, but you should have read the rules page. I'm going to let it slide this time though :D Good poem, and welcome to the Poetry Club! |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-28 16:00:36 (edited 2010-07-28 16:00:49)
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well here's mine..it's for a friend thats gone for now.. as you walk along this narrow path you begin to reminisce on days of old such as meeting a new friend then you begin to understand that this isn't the end it's a new begining for all the times we're reborn again and again |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-07-28 14:46:41 |
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@ Toyumi - Awww well thats great then! haha :D |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-28 09:55:27 |
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@ Rie- Welcome to the club! I hope to see some of your poems soon! @ Anke- Nah, not about the romance in Free & Dream, but that's very good guess! (And yeah it is pretty cute ^^) This poem is actually based on a situation that I'm in at the moment... (Writing on true experiences is the easiest I guess, since it was fairly easy to write that poem). |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by
on 2010-07-28 08:26:12 |
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@ Toyumi - Thanks! Your poem is so cute! Is it perhaps about your little romance in Free and Dream? (Which is cute, I must say...) @ Rie - Welcome! I'm glad to see we're still getting new writers!!! I'm excited to read some of your works! |
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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by Rie Hirayuki
on 2010-07-28 00:00:22 (edited 2010-07-28 00:02:47)
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hi, I want to come join here. I want to be a writer. I will write my poems in this forum later. name : rie writer
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Re: Poetry Club v2
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on 2010-07-27 21:17:41 |
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Hm, long time no post (Well not too long but still XD)... @ Anke- 7 Pages sounds like... Alot. XD And your new poem is very good, but like you said it is depressing. Break-ups are very sad (and sometimes bittersweet depending on how you left and such)... Oh well enough with depressing break up talk. It's a good poem! @ Carrot- Hahaha, I miss you too Carrot! And I know what it's like when school is hellish, I hope everything turns out okay in the end! Well, it's been awhile since I posted a new poem, so here's a new one. Laughing and smiling all the same, My life just got that much brighter when you came. True passions that we share, Knowing that there is someone in the world who will care. 'I see.' Is what you tell me. And every time I hear, It is like a soft whisper in my ear. And yet, this is not the case. As I haven't even glimpsed your face. We can only imagine in our mind, And for this reason our love is blind. Just wishing and waiting for that time, When I look into your eyes and you look into mine. And then I'll know everything is as it seems. And this is not in our dreams. |