|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
Sorry I haven't been here for a long time, can someone give me a summary of whats going on at the moment.  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 07:05:44 |
|
I never really thought I'd speak of this matter anywhere. But I guess this is much better than drinking myself to a stupor. The history of my heartbreak dates back five years ago. Kaien, the one true love of my life, waltzed into my life and has carved a niche in that clump of muscle in my chest better known as my heart. Kaien is the embodiment of everything I have ever sought for in a man I wanted to be with. He is intelligent, he had a heart, and most importantly, he has the most wonderful sense of humor. We became very close friends. I should have known better than to foster hopes of him loving me in return, but I hoped anyway. It didn't take long for me to discover that he already had a significant other (I never had the habit of prying into his private life). I felt something strange, it is unnameable, but to be sure, it was miserable. To the best of my ability, I avoided Kaien. I always deceive myself into thinking that I have gotten over him, but each time I see him, I realize that I am lying to myself, and that my love for him has grown stronger in his absence. I was ill in bed when he called me to say that he was going to be married the following day. I said I was genuinely happy. Truly, I was, but as soon as I hung up, I wept. I wept like I wasn't going to stop. I tried my best to get over, hoping to turn my head to other things, but in those quiet moments, I would always think of Kaien and my intense affection for him. Last Christmas, he requested for a meeting with me. Reluctantly, I went. I did not want to hurt myself, but I still went on ahead. He wanted to say goodbye to me, for he and his wife was going to move away to a place that would surely make our seeing each other again impossible. His parting gift was a cat plush toy. It was because he referred to me as his little Alice in Wonderland, and he was the Cheshire Cat. I tried my best to hold back the rushing water behind my eyes and told him not to be foolish. "We'd be sure to see each other again, old man!" I said. It didn't sound convincing to me. Neither to him, but maybe he was being nice and went along with my rambling. So I waved goodbye last time as I hopped on the bus. And the cat doll is still in its plastic bag, looking much the same as the day he handed it to me. And tonight, I think of him again. Of course, I have come to terms with the fact that he is happy elsewhere, and I am glad he is. But it can never be discounted that I am sore. I am sure you are familiar with Utada Hikaru's song, "First Love". That best explains my sentiments. I am sure you know what I mean. Who knew loving selflessly could hurt like this... Right. I am terribly sorry for that. :( |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 16:47:46 |
|
If you are depressed, go to this URL!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp-oJhBxn6o You'll feel more peppy in no time. XD  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 17:28:07 |
|
@onichan: BWA HA HA HAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH HA oh god...my stomach... Im never gonna say that im depressed after i saw THAT!  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 17:31:49 |
|
NYAH HAH HAH!!! I KNEW it. XD I love making people feel good. XD |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 17:35:59 |
| Beatrix, It's good to come to terms with a past love, but by no means should you ever forget it. Every relationship, no matter how trivial, affects everyone in a small way. To forget it is to deny it's existence, but it did happen and it did affect people. Now as to whether it did that in a negative or a positive way is up to you to decide. We all have or emotional passports that carry stamps of our past experience on the pages, and it's those stamps that remind us and provide for nostalgia. That passport also is what enables us to move between relationships, and to forget one is comparable to ripping out a page. You remove the stamp, but every time you do you leave a jagged edge and remove room for others. If you keep doing that you'll just be left with a single page to fit all of your life and nothing but a rough edge. Life's a journey; you need to take that passport. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 17:50:22 |
|
@ Beatrix: you know something. There is always a man for you somewhere around the world. heh, you don't know HOW many times people say it. Your experience is not uncommon. For you to have found the "ideal" man was a mere coincidence. But don't forget, he's one in a million others that are like him. Don't feel obligated to just one man. Because if you do, all you're doing is stop living. The fact that you were impacted by a, for lack of a better term, "perfect man" will have dramatic changes in your life. The hard part of this would be to get over him. But, from a good point of view, it's not easy. It causes much suffering, sadness and eventually, the loss of will to live. Trust me on this, I might be a guy, but like a few others not driven by hormonal desires, I just feel old. XD and go to my URL that I mentioned earlier. It'll cheer you up. ^^ Also, you have the power to change destinies. It may not be my place to mention destinies, but you've many men that are like your last lover. The only obstacles that are in your way is time and your desire to let go. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 18:32:11 |
|
Dear Beatrix.. I've been through this feeling before and it makes your heart ache so much. but you've to move on with your life.u dont have to forget him because he is your friend and he wants to see u again. he doesnt know your feelings so keep in your heart.u write what did u feel in a diary then leave all the feelings there.u've to remember that he has a wife but then u dont have to avoid yourself from him.he is your friend and u can make as your bestfriend.ur feelings towards him is a memory.u can keep your memories between u and him but dont think about it so much or else your heart will ache again. life without pain,love,sad,anger and everything, it'll be the most empty 'thing' in this world. love comes with pain yet love comes with happiness.. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by .::[ IZORUE ]::.
on 2007-01-24 19:32:08
|
|
Sad memories are always the one that is hard to erase from your head. Sometimes these sad things keep breaking our spirit down. Beatrix, your experience had almost much similarity to mine, except that the parting with my girl is more tragic. although embarrasing to say this, although i'm a guy, i cried for my ex, with thoughts of suicide going through my head, what am i without her? and then i went to the church to seek help, and the only answer i get from my sadness is only one sentence : god loves you. that single line made me stand up again, my stupidity rushed away. what was i thinking?! crying over spilt milk??? duh... eversince, i found LIFE!!! i shouldn't be crying over a person, i should be crying for the WORLD!!! still, although i still do love my ex, though she hurts me so badly many times over and over again, though she made me cry nights over nights. but what i see from this depressing event is a CHALLENGE being set forth before me. so, take this as a challenge, if you cry, you lose. smile! 
izorue@hotmail.com |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
Hmm the wondrous ex-significant other situation. Such cute boring love. Unless you want to spend the entire next day sucking down the pink exilir of alcoholism aka pepto-bismol then I would suggest against heavy drinking. Anyway through countless hours of "remodeling" the furniture in my room by use of my handy dandy forehead I have happened upon a few things that would help. Although the majority of those things being said by other forum members I am sorry if I steal their thunder. My suggestion above all else is to cry until you have absolutely no more tears for him. Seeing as you're probably already way ahead of me I'm going to skip a bit further down. Scars are hard to heal. Especially ones in the heart. I will not pretend to know how to fix them because like the event that created the wound, it is unique to you. You are going to have to come to terms with it yourself. In the process of coming to terms you are going to happen upon a few life lessons. This is the purpose of your scar. Its pain reminds you of what happened but it also reminds you of the lessons you learned. Do not forget them. These lessons will be what helps you move on and become ready to open your heart to another. Remember that you will never be the person you were ever again. It is useless to live in the past, look back only to remember that this is not where you began. I'll ask you a simple question, "Who are you now?" |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-24 23:52:04 |
|
@Dark unfortunately, YouTube is on scheduled downtime >_< Now I am really intrigued. ~Thanks for all the responses to my post. While it still hurts a lot, I do try to take things in perspective and make the best out of it by wringing out all possible lessons I could learn. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-25 04:14:29 |
|
you're most welcome beatrix we're here for u!! |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
I don't mean to be pushy, but if someone can give me a summary of whats going on maybe I can help out. EDITED: @Beatrix You said: "And tonight, I think of him again. Of course, I have come to terms with the fact that he is happy elsewhere, and I am glad he is." Thats good, it's hard to accept things sometimes, but at least you're partially accepting it and trying to move on. You did all you can and thats good. Love has to work both ways (sorry to bring that up, I know it hurts). I hate the outcome of stuff sometimes, but if I did all I can about it, it makes me feel at least a bit better and not regret not doing anything about it. That way I can at least try to move on knowing that I gave it my all. I'm a believer in GOD, and I feel that I can chose my own destiny, but I let GOD guide me to the right path. Sometimes I feel GOD is telling me that it wasn't meant to be. That way I can slowly try to move on and slowly accept things for the way they are. I know it hurts but at least you gotta think you done all you can, and that way you'll feel better and let GOD guide you to the right path, you're real true love. My friend once told me this phrase, if you're a believer in GOD, then "GOD is with you". I've always remember that phrase and whenever I'm in doubt I always tell myself GOD is with me. I heard once from an 70 year old man (well during that time he was) at my Toastmaster's Social Club (also all over the world!). He told me that "You might not get over it, but at least it's good to talk about it". He's right, whenever I have problems that keep bothering me I talk to people I trust about it a few months ago, I've also posted my problems in this thread and I felt a bit better, and especially when the people in this forum kindly offered there help to me. Thanks guys! :D By the way, I sorta know how you feel, I feel in love once. This might sound weird and embarrassing but with an anime character. Her name was Arcueid Brunestud from the anime Tsukihime. Really, it's only been the first ever anime character I've fallen in love with. I could relate to her somewhat, she's lonely, she's suffered in the past, and is still suffering. I'd also liked her personal characterisitics cause I need someone to be like that to me, she's mostly happy, I'd like her smile, cause it gives a positive vibe, she appreciates little things in life, and that she's strong physically and mentally at her peak (I need someone like that to shield me from the negativity which I'm brought upon in my daily life sometimes. I know I sound like a hypocrite acting like I'm strong and offering help, but I'm not a mentally strong person, thats why sometimes I need someone to shield me from the negativity, but the above methods have worked for me at times and I just want to help people by at least telling them they are successful). She was my ideal woman, but sadly I knew that it was impossible to be with her let alone meet her since she was just a fictional character, and that kinda hurt me when the anime series ended. But at least I thought to myself that she was meant to be with the main character Shiki in the anime, and that made me feel better, that she wants him and not me. I felt lonely and hurt again cause I'm still waiting for my true love, and every night when I'm lying on my bed and I can't sleep, I feel so lonely that I'm not with my true love, but at least I've learn to accept that I can't be with Arceuid. "Somethings you don't get over, you just learn to live with it" -Lucas Kane from the video game Fahrenheit. But I gotta trust in GOD, and let GOD guide me to the right path and hopefully to my true love. Anyways, I know it sounds weird to fall in love with an anime character, but it's cause I could relate to her and her personality is what I wanted. To summarise what I said: ======================== -Congrats on your attempt to recover Beatrix -Love has to work both ways -Even though you fail, by doing all you can you can feel a bit better about yourself at least. -Choose you're own destiny, but let GOD guide you to the right path. -"GOD is with you" -"You might not get over it, but at least it's good to talk about it" to people you trust and that can help you. I hope this can further help you Beatrix, and any others with similar problems. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-25 17:24:26 |
|
Well, Funsch pretty much the only thing going right now is what you've hit upon. That's right now, a little while ago we heard from Wolf, and little before that we had various and sundry applicants of assistance that graced our lovely thread. Beatrix, it's what we do here. We all endeavor to make this little spot on the forums the best it can be. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
OK thanks D-Ninja, I'll try and help others with my experiences whenever I can. Heh! This is like a positive environment, in a negative environment or the other way around. I mean it's good here cause I know and others know we can come here and ask for help when we have problems and there are people like you that are willing to help as much as you can :) All hail the depression thread v3! |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-26 15:26:03 |
|
everyone,the most important thing in my life when I was hurt is SMILE. it may recover my heart a.s.a.p and it can cover anything that happens in your heart.. so,if u feel hurt.wake up and SMILE.. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
I've been having problems with my mentality and consistency. Everytime something bad happens to me, I panic inside and can't seem to recover from it, and I struggle to think properly let alone act like myself without doubting myself and my communication ability. In the past I've been bullied pretty badly and have been social isolated. So everytime something similar bad happens I fear the nightmares might return and this is really affecting me badly. Just a few days ago, I went to my friend's 21st birthday, with high hopes of actually communicating with people. I've started off well, but as the conversations drifted on, I could hardly join in the conversations and I've paniced inside. In the past, I use to be in my friend's tutorial class, but I was left alone, his friends would hardly talk to me. I'm not blaming my friend cause he did talk to me, just his friend's hardly did. You see I went to my friend's 21st birthday to conquer that. But I failed. So that day was a huge blow to me mentally and I'm still recovering from that day as I type this. So my hold point is does anyone have any suggestions how to keep mentally strong and keep up my consistency in communicating with people? Thanks. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
@ Funsch Let's see...well it's either "diffidence" or "pessimism". You don't have confidence in yourself, you think negatively and lose hope easily~ try to realize that, and try to keep up. Whenever bad things happen to you, expect not that it's the end of the world, there will always be something good if you try to do something about it dattebayo~ It's not really your fault you have these kinds of mental problems, you said your past was about you being bullied pretty badly, right~? I have those kinds of experiences too, bullied people especially in schools are one of the most depressed types of people in the world, except if the matters changed and stuff ikimasu dattebayo~ Uck~ Well, I'm not feeling good today, emotionally~ Last night we had our party in the club, my friend's treat since it's her birthday. Lots of mature people dancing on the dance floor (actually, this is my 2nd time doing this) not really by age, but more like teenagers. I'm guessing our group was the youngest inside (about 15-16 years) I got drunk pretty badly, (note I'm ONLY 15~!) and I'm not the type that would fall asleep or just be silent about it--I was going HIGH~ like you know what drunkards do when they drink tebayo~ yeah, that was me. I was not myself, and the worst part is that I just flirted with a Korean girl who is 5-6 years older than me, a LOT taller than me, and yeah--so embarrassing~! I never flirted with anyone I don't know tebayo~  but I just did unconsciously~! Will this affect my priority of being a good guy~? (=3=)  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2007-01-27 16:46:51 |
|
@ Funsch.. just calm down and dont panic.yes,u may be dont know what is happening to urself my suggestions: 1.try to comunicate with urself(talk to urself first but dont laugh alone or else someone might misunderstood about u) 2.try to comunicate with your parents,teachers,siblings 3.read books,watching tv,listen to the radio(it'll help u how to talk and you can have the ideas from there) 4.try to talk with someone that u don't know,it'll help u especially ur confidence..make friends with them. 5.public speaking. ps:i dont know if my tips arent helping u!>_< @ imppy(is it ur name?) are u serious?well,it may not affect ur priority but the girl might be thinkig that u are too small to flirt her(~_~) erm..i just want to tell u that u should be careful after this.dont get drunk again.. hehe |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
Yush~ I get carried away whenever I turn into "drunk-mode" (=3=) Anyway, I really can't control myself on drinking too much~ I don't wanna be like my dad dattebayo~ >_> |