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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Funsch, just ignore her. If she does something and looks in your direction give her a look that seems to say "You're wasting your time." Revenge? Talking to another girl? Bah, don't waste your time either.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Thxs Jomunnga for you're advice. I'll try and ignore her and you're right, I will give her the "you're wasting your time" look.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@funsch, if i were in your situation, i'd ignore her till she talks to me on her own or i'd try to fix it. like, when she talks with your other friend, try to talk with her. i usually do that when some of my friends had a fight with me and i kinda know how to make people talk back to me in that situation, and so far, it works fine for me. this way, we'll feel like nothing has happened, and we're no longer fighting. silence treatment is sooo annoying, so maybe you should talk with her to solve things between the two of you. and to talk with her like, normally, you'd need to talk with her as friends, so you wont feel awkward or anything. if all of those fails, then ignoring her might be the best option.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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You know it's hard to deal with people through conversation nowadays, modern attitudes are full of physical contacts and cold hearted words coming out of their mouth. Pity those people.  |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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yea, i know what you mean, jomunga, i LOVE to Swords-Dance! dirty dancing was...interesting. but i still liked the slow danceing (even though i had to beg Monica to slow dance with me.) i wish i could dance with a girlfriend....joey and kristen looked so happy toghetther during the slow dance! oh and a quick update on the "rolling the dice"...she canceled the day before we were supposed to meet. i kinda figured it would happen. she said she got into trouble at school. oh well. OH and i went to visit a collage today! U of D rocks! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by eternaltorture
on 2006-09-30 17:11:49
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@Funsch, wow...what a b*tch...lol just tell her that's she wasting her time, or just ignore her....she isn't someone you should waste your time with....xD |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@people's It's not that I'm still after her or something and it's 50/50 that she could be doing it on purpose. But you guys are right, I should just ignore her. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-10-01 19:42:23 |
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Funsch reading that is like reading a transscript of one of the decisions I could've made a while ago. Only difference is that I didn't say anything, I just let it slip. Now I've lost base for a while, but she stills talks to me, albeit not regularly. I'm on her "top 20" friends at myspace so I can't complain too much. I personally think you made, don't get me wrong here, the semi-correct choice. At least at first. The decision to tell her that her comforts were better than yours put you in a position of submission. Bascally you over-did the nice-guy thing. I don't want to sound sexist or anyhting but if you want to remidie any relationship, freinds or otherwise, you have to re-assert yourself as an equal or greater. Based on what you said before I can guess you're against this kind-of approach, but I'm 99% sure that if you ever want to get any recognition as a friend you have to be viewd as an equal. She is feeding off of your over submission, and it apears to you as though she is compleatly ignoring you. Don't ignore her in return, acknowlege her and no matter how ackward you may feel you have to intiate some conversation. If you don't it will only get worse, and eventually you may find yourself fearing any such interactions at which point she will have compleat controll over you. If some of that seems a bit odd it's because I'm trying to type in very cold weather and I can't think straight. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Well I might as well complain here. My tummy hurts... Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@D-Ninja No D-Ninja you're right and you don't sound weird. Yeah I realised I made the biggest mistake by doing something unnecessary. After that situation, I did keep greeting her for a while. Then I thought to myself hey she's not contributing in any of this, so "I couldn't be bother worrying about this all the time and stopped trying to talk to her". I'm not too worry about being her friend, actually I don't feel it's right to try again after a while, it'll be kinda awkward for both of us and no I'm not letting her control me, NO FRIGGIN WAY! And some of the people who posted before were right, I should just ignore her and don't let her get to me too much, can't always worried about her. But if a situation appears where we have to be together e.g. group work, then I might start talking to her again. I guess I'll have to see when's the right time, but till then I'll try not to worry to much about this problem. But thanks D-Ninja for the advice. Btw, it's spring but it feels like summer over her in Australia. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Heh, just another reason to add to my "Romance= " list. If you decide on forgetting about attaining a "Girlfriend" entirely, then you don't have to worry at all when she talks to your friends, nor do ye have ter fall for mind tricks and hormones that tell you to do so. And if any of them friends are actually snickering becuase of that situation, just remember they are under the thumb of her and you are not.^_^ Btw, I try to make light(humor) most negative situations I come into. Ex. I'd probably laugh whenever she ignored you for one of your friends because its so friggen obvious. Of course, that is assuming she is actually commiting the beforementioned, if it turns our she isn't, I'd still find it pretty funny for my own p ersonal reasons. But I must say one thing. "and no I'm not letting her control me, NO FRIGGIN WAY!"-Funsch W007(happy music in background) You are now less like to commit stupid acts in the name of "romance"! *Victory theme* |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-10-02 18:54:56 |
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Somehow I saw this comming, once we get started talking 'bout romance who shows up but kotuso. But for yet another time I do have to aree a bit, forgetting about ataining a "girlfriend" is a logical move, especially if your current intrest is dating someone else... Feels like winter and it's just barely fall here in PA. 'course it's probably really cold in Canada, 'cause that's where the fronts come from this time o' year. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Don't you know? I am an omipresent being who sucks life out of romance at any given time, in any given place.(Most of the time Gendou, however) But seriously, is there any ligitamite reason why romance should not be considered a worn out expired idea in this day and age? We are certainly capable of being independent, can't we all just get along without "getting along?" |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@Kotuso Thanks man for the last comment. LOL those are my kinda jokes with the music. I haven't forgotten about getting a girlfriend. Meeting the other girl that my friend introduce me to was good timing, cause she made me realise that it is still possible for me to get a girlfriend, I just have to find the right person and keep trying. "You can't win the lottery, unless you buy a lotto ticket" - quoted by Former Manchester City Soccer Manager Kevin Keegan. I figure when there's an opportunity I'll try again. @D-Ninja Thanks I feel like I made the right move by not interfering with her current relationship with her boyfriend. @Kotuso, again My opinion to the thing you said about romance is that we need romance otherwise we'll feel lonely, maybe not now, but in the future we'll see people having families and couples being together and you look at yourself and feel jealous because you're all by yourself, and then look back in the past and regret not trying hard enough. As I said before I know it hurts when it doesn't work out, but I try to think of the positives, just like brazilians in soccer (yes I like to compare things to soccer, and I am a passionate soccer fan) you gotta enjoy yourself on the pitch, what I find is that I get excited by what I'm doing and that motivates me to keep going. And be yourself and try to perform at your peak, at least a few times so she knows what you're capable of, and you won't regret not trying things at that time later. If you think things aren't working out, try different stuff out, and if that doesn't work, ask her why she doesn't like you, that way you can find things you need to improve on. But don't change too much just cause you failed with a girl, keep trying the same strategy your comfortable with cause maybe she's not the one for you, until it doesn't work out a few times, hopefully it won't have to come to this, but then you might consider changing/modifying it. Well thats what I think at least and thats what I've been doing so far not just with the girl my friend introduced me to, but also to some of my friends. It seems to be working fine and I haven't come to the stage where I'd had to try something different, hopefully it won't have to go there. To summarise what I said: -Keep trying, enjoy what you're doing, be yourself, perform at your peak a few times to try and impress. -Try different stuff if things aren't working out -Last ditch effort is to ask why she doesn't like you. -Keep trying strategy a few times, and if it still doesn't work change/modify it. -Thats what I think at least. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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by
on 2006-10-03 18:49:34 |
| Funsch, trust me you're wasting your time. if there ever was a polar opposite to a romantic it's kotuso. He's made people cry over his beliefs, trying to convice hm to do anything even remotely related to love is like trying to eat a brick wall, or for you're case stoping a ball from going in the opposite corner from where you're standing. It's not improbible, it's pretty much downright impossible. There are people out there (I may not know who, but they are there) who could get him to do something romantic. Then again... maybe not... |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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im sorry that i havent really been in touch with the issue that has been discussed on my thread...ive been relly busy with other things that are away from the computer. like the Evanescence CD...withc im listening to now that ROCKS! sorry, if someone could give me an "in a nutshell" of the situation, ill try to help! and i get what was said about the "over the top nice guy" approach...it is SOO possible to do it WAY too much! |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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I've already prepared myself for the future, besides in my view, those who are in a "romance" relationship should be the jealous ones. Jealousy is usually defined the same as envy, except that in jealuosy you are overly protective of something you already have. Since I would not have a partner, there would be nothing to be jealous of, and i'm not naturally envious of others, so i'm good on all sides. It also sounds like what you described may be your biggest fear, but don't give it a second thought. You'd be surprised how much us humans can forget and unlearn manually, romance is a foolish, worthless, indecient taught behavior that can be as easily disregarded as the color of the tiles on the floor. Romance is spawned by chemicals in the brain developed over tons of generations, a tough habit to break, but it is proven that romance, heck even love, is not needed to make one happy. In fact, I believe that the happiest man recorded was a lone poor monk who had little luxeries or people to communicate with. Also, there is a man in Antartica who has been working for the U.S. testing global warming effects on the ice for 20 years. Its just him alone, and he was questioned about it, and told the men that he was very happy doing his job. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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@D-Ninja Well at least I tried, I did all I can so I'm happy with my effort, and I said what I wanted to say. "You can't win the lottery, unless you buy a lotto ticket" I mostly try to use that approach. @Nightmare Uh, are you talking about your problem or my problem or some other problem? Just curious thats all. @kotuso I admit I do have a fear of being alone and most people have that same fear. My friend in college told me one thing "Everybody has advantages and weaknesses, and you're not human if you don't have either of them". Anyways, I'm just giving my advice and opinion and in the end the decision is yours and I say that for everybody. I'm happy with my effort since I said what I wanted to say. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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Nightmare, here is the nutshell. Funsch having girl problems, Kotuso hates romance, helpful D-ninja, I rant to Kotuso... Kotuso... ahhhhhh.... He's as lively as ever. Romance is spawned by chemicals in the brain, so is every single thing we do in our lives. Typing out this reply is a series of chemical reactions from my brain to my finger tips. Nothing we do isn't a chemical reaction. Thinking, happiness, movement, breathing, digesting, pain, love, etc are all chemical reactions. I doubt that monk was the happiest, I never took part in that survey. I am sure that the happiest man alive is someone who has a nice chemical imbalance causing him to be super happy all the time. I've seen some pretty happy mentally challenged people. But happiness isn't the only thing to aim for in life. I find pride in all my feelings. I feel my anger is formed from a good reason and my sadness is there to prove my righteousness. Besides, love is no doubt fun. It's not easy to put in words, but with love; happiness is directly linked to your partner. It is alot easier to be happier or sadder when you are in love. It all depends on whether they love you back. With love the simplest things can make one happy. Just seeing one word of text from ones love is enough to make the day shine. Imagine what 2 words of text would do. Then imagine what talking online for hours would do for one! Then what will it be like when one embraces their loved one and kisses them!!!! Happiness spewing out like peeps from a marshmellow factory. Sure one doesn't need love to be happy, but why do things the hard way? Love isn't just the happiness factor, there is also satisfaction in it. I feel like life is at it's fullest when in love. It makes everything feel worthwhile and makes you feel signifigant in the universe. It doubles the amount of life one has to live, because lovers live 2 lives. Who commits more suicides? People in love or lonely people? Kotuso, I wonder if what you dislike is romance or the path to romance. I see why you can feel romance is bad when people fall for one sided loves or get hearts broken, but that isn't romance itself. Romance takes 2 to tango, once at that point I see only love, care, and support. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The Depression Thread V3
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well jomunga, if there is ont thing that i have learned about you in the over a year i have known you....its not to try to use science to argue against you unless you look at all the angles.....but i apploade Kotuso's effort! im going to just shotgun ideas out there cuz i feel i have been neglecting my creation....kinda like Dr. Frankenstine in the end of the book.... happyness like Jomunga is talking about as in the happiest person in the world is kinda like the exact opposite of depression....the chemical imballance is just reversed...too much insted of too little. love can really suck...to me, i am not really searching for love to be happy, im searching for a companion...someone to be with and share things with and provide help for. thats a nice thing about love, the fact that in a good relationship, people give their love a shoulder when they need it most! true lovers in happyness are nice....but love is truly only tested in hardship through pain and sadness. if you can make it through that with someone, you and that person are closer than ever. Romance rocks! and i have no idea what you mean about the difference between jelousy and happyness. the thing is, though, romance is useless if there is no backing behind it. i am pritty good at that part of it because of all the things i have read (im not just blowing my own horn here....alot of people have told me that im a "true romantic") but the fact is that even though im a romantic guy, i still have never had a girlfriend and ill be 18 next month! romance is just like courtship....if there is no genuin love behind it, it falls apart. i agree with what joe says about the suicide comment too...all of the regulars can telll you how bad i WAS...but then it all changed that one night in May when Alyssa told me that even though we were never going to be bf/gf...she still loved me alot. her love stopped me form doing something stupid...its that powerful! yea, love can hurt sometimes...it frequently does...but don't hate it! just be open....sure my experience with love sucked...but i'm so desperate to find that one person that is willing to give me a hand when i'm falling off a perverbial cliff, that i keep looking. i keep looking out of desperation....but at liest im looking! and don't get me wrong, im not THAT desperate to stalk people. i'm just saying that the need to feel that love is enough to keep me going. |