|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
Dninja, I guess you are still going at it well. I find that very cool. You still love her even though it's so hard on you. Hire an assassin to pick of her boyfriend for you. That'll make her single again. Funsch, I hope things work well with that soccer girl. She may be a better match. As for me, I won't be going to toastmasters anytime soon. I think having friends is sometimes hard. Like online there are people I talked to and we all had fun, but then we don't talk again. Usually I don't have the time or will to keep friends. All I need is my girlfriend and thats all I want too. I am too preoccupied with her to make room for friends. Actually I don't have time for alot of things anymore, haven't watched anime in a long time. Plus have a history of having shitty friends that I want to kill. Forum surfing is a perfect substitute for me, I can log on whenever I want for how long I want. I don't really use MSN messenger to talk to anyone other than my wifie usually. If I feel like talking I will, which is why I am here. If the only thing I would want from offline friends is people who do activities like sports or games etc. Probably the only people who could make me want to talk to them is people who dress in gothic clothing, otherwise I tend to ignore everyone. Basically I am too damn happy to change anything. I only want Honey'ko. I don't want to have friends. PS, You type alot Funsch. Heh heh.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
@dbt11 Nah I'm not that interested in that girl anymore. I feel that these kinda things should be a natural thing, that way both people can feel comfortable when talking and it shouldn't really be forced. I know she could breaked up with her boyfriend, but nah I'm not the kinda person to take advantage of the situation like this. It dosen't feel right for some reason, feels like I'm just being her friend so I can be her girlfriend in the future. The girl in college doesn't really wanna talk to me, and I can't be bothered to try if she's not trying as well. The only thing that ticks me off is when I see her talking to other people especially my friends and completely ignores me. Anyways, the soccer girl made me realise that if I ever liked a girl, I should try to find a common interest with her first, then we might get things going on. @JoMunga Thanks man! But I want to get to know her a lot better before I make my move. Just remember Jomunga you always have us forum guys as your friends and you can talk to us anytime you want :D  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
Hi all!! I'm back, so I just reread all the posts you posted, and your all right so then, I'll try to go on with my life and stay friends with her. And also, she told me that she tried to be with me once, but she just couldn't find feelings for me soooo.... I guess that's how it ends and again thx for all your help, now it's my turn to help peps ^^
Mutsumi loves you and kisses you all!!!! Exept for the guys, this mutsumi no kiss guys ^^
|
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
yea. im trying to learn the translations too...but its not going well because i dont have time....heh... MY HOMECOMMING IS TOMORROW!!! ill let you all know how it goes! also im rolling the dice on a girl that ive known for a while online...were meeting on friday! AND i got accepted to 3 collages!  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2006-09-23 19:26:45 |
|
3 cheers for three colleges, so lets see...carry the 3...add the 4...9 cheers! And a good luck on your rolling of the dice, but just put yourself that even a 2 can't break. May you roll a nat 20. Jomunga, well I wouldn't say that. I don't wnat to kill him, well not yet... I'm happy at the moment letting time take it's course, plus she seems happy with him. He does bring a lot more time to the table, as in "boyfriend" time. I can honestly say that I wouldn't make the best boyfriend right now, maybe in a year but not now. Funsch, don't get me worng here, I'm not out to take advantage of anybody I just want to be there so she doesn't fall as far or hard. Which is why I wait, someday she'll need that shoulder and I intend to be there for it. Mr. Moogle, we do what we can and sometimes a bit more. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
yea, a 20 would be perfict (or 5 10's depeding on weather your playing D&D or WoD) heh or maybe all 6's in warhammer? anywayse im really excited |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
@dbt11 No man you misunderstood what I said, I'm just saying I don't like to wait to pounce on an opportunity, it just doesn't feel right for "me". I didn't say you did anything wrong. @nightmare Woohoo, you're the 2nd D&D fan I found so far :D |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
Make that 3 D&D fans. I'm the biggest D&D fan there is. Am writing my own expension book too
Mutsumi loves you and kisses you all!!!! Exept for the guys, this mutsumi no kiss guys ^^
|
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2006-09-24 18:14:46 |
|
Funsch, I understand. Oh and you can call me D-ninja instaed of dbt11 (that's just my login), but I'm used to being called whatever so it doesn't really matter. You could even call me "you with the name" and I'd get it. I know many a D&D player. One "snaek attacks" me every chance he gets, but fails due to my insane reflex modifier. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
Anyone else ever get the feeling that this world isn't meant for you? That little feeling you get when you're sitting alone and trying to pull your life together. Like something you've uncovered but can't quite grasp. Akin to fleeting feeling of anxiety; so real in that moment and gone the next. It reverbs throughout you mind like a whisper until it unleashes all at once in a torrent of understanding. What's the point of finally living as the person you truely are if there is no place of belonging? *sigh* There is so much within that I'd like to explain but no words with which to use. It's like I'm sitting in limbo. A part of many groups yet shunned by each one. It's a very desperate and lonely feeling. It is not a matter of acceptance. It does not take much to accept what is and move along. It is more to understand what is and know that it will constantly change but remain the same in essence. The concept of self and the its ever evolving definition. We are all such dynamic creatures and our relationships grow and wither based on those dynamics. It dawns on me that at this moment I feel connected to the relationships I have made over the years but they seem hollow and an empty shell of what they once were. Connected in essence but so very different in definition. Would that mean I only have feelings of agape in my life? To be connected to the very essence of a person and to still care even when the differences in definition between both parts are so stark. Why does it feel so desolate? Do I have no feelings of belonging because I am missing eros? So to feel as though we truely belong in this world we must have a balance of eros and agape and to find that within one being is to find true love? So the overbalance of one creates a void which the other needs to fill. This would explain my feelings of isolation and loneliness. But is it too convenient an answer? *sigh* All this has proved is that I know nothing and many more questions must be answered to grasp a full understanding. I need track season to start so I can clear my head. All of my dribble is starting to bother me. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
@wolf I understand how you feel. At times I felt the world wasn't meant for me. I have also been abandoned many times and not giving a sh*t about. I've been bullied pretty badly by almost everyone in my high school year once, the worst thing was some of my friends backstabbed me and started to bully me. I've been through depression for 2.5 years cause I didn't have much friends in uni and those friends hardly talked to me. At times I've felt like giving up on life cause I felt I didn't belong anywhere. I always felt that if I did find happinest, it'll be taken away from me, which it has happened many times. But one thing saved me. I told my parents about my depression. Read my earlier, earlier thread on how I escaped and conquered my depression. Luckily my dad recommended me to a social club called Toastmasters. What is Toastmasters? It's a social club. You give speeches about whatever you want and the people are really friendly there and try to give you helpful feedback to help improve your speaking. It's a positive environment. The people there make you feel welcomed, make you feel like you belong somewhere. Toastmasters really helped improve my confidence in speaking and gave me the confidence to try talking to people once again. Toastmasters is all over the world. http://www.toastmasters.org/ To summarise my earlier, earlier thread I did the following: My transition from being depressed to happy and relieved was because: -I went to Toastmasters, they made me feel welcome and it gave me the encouragement to start speaking with confidence again. -I took risks. -I tried showing my emotions more, both happy and sad ones. -I had peperation, 2 weeks prior to the start of my college semester, by hanging out with friends, talking to friends online and trying different stuff. -I'd planning on paper and reherse what I was going to say. -I ask people for help, no shame in that. -I appericate the little things in life and thats what makes me happier. Also, I think of my problems as my enemies and try to conquer it, rather than wine about it. In other words I stop making excuses and try to conquer it. I know it's hard but when the going gets tough, I run away to rethink my plan and then try again. You gotta keep trying to conquer your problems, not run away and complain all the time. Plus ask for help, some people been through the problem and they might help you solve it. And for people, try to find people that understand how you feel, the thing i did is bring up the problem to people. I know it's a risk, but this is how I did it, for example when people talked about how was your school life, tell them about what really happened, including the bad experiences. People might understand how you feel and tell you stuff like "I know how you feel, cause I've been through that as well". Thats when you can connect with your friends and find friends that understand you and thats how you become closer to them then ever before, then when you have problems you know who to trust and talk to, that way you won't feel lonely anymore cause you got someone that understands you. I know happinest does not last forever and it hurts when you feel very happy and then all of a sudden it's taken away from you. But remember happinest does not last forever, neither does sadness. But one interesting thing I've heard from one of my friends in college: he told me one thing: he's always happy cause, he appreciates everything and he said "I'm not going to let other people affect my life, life's too short for that. I set my main goal and try to achieve it, not matter what. I don't care what people say or think about me, I'm in control of my life". Well he said something along those lines. Damn I'm bad at remembering exact quotes :S. He's right cause you can't let other people affect your life, you gotta be in control of it. If only I could be that way, but I let my emotions get in the way too much sometimes sigh*. But I'm still trying to learn to take things less seriously. Remember also, I'm sorry if I offend it you, but if no one gives a sh*t about you, remember your family will always be there for you no matter what. They might not show it, but it's true, they love you a lot. I also set some main goals of my own in life and that is: -Find my true love, that person she'll understand me, accept me for who I am and will always be there for me. -To help people especially children who are living in poverty in Africa by donating my money to charities. Those are the 2 main goals that give me the will to live and to continue on in life. I got other goals as well but I just listed these main 2. But just remember Wolf, you are welcome somewhere already. In this forum gendou.com. You found people with common interest and some people in this depression thread like me, understands how you feel. You'll always feel welcome here. If the going gets tough you can always come back here cause this is a place where you can feel welcome and you're not alone, you got people that understand how you feel in the world. You just gotta be open about your feelings, but not do it out of nowhere cause that scares people. You will find people that understand you and that way you won't feel alone anymore. And try out toastmasters I think you'll like it. You'll feel like you're welcome there and belong somewhere. To summarise what I said: -Do something about your problems, don't make excuses, take risk and ask for help, no shame in that, there are people that are willing to help you. (e.g. counsellors) -Try to find people that understand you, by being open, but not out of nowhere. Some people have been through similar experiences like you and that way you can find a true friend/s. -Don't take things too seriously, as my friend in college said, he's always happy cause, he appreciates everything and he said "I'm not going to let other people affect my life, life's too short for that. I set my main goal and try to achieve it, not matter what. I don't care what people say or think about me, I'm in control of my life". he's right you can't let other people affect your life, you gotta be in control of it. -You are already welcomed in gendou.com wolf, you found people that understand you and share your interests thats why you're not alone. -Try toastmasters out if you want to belong somewhere and feel welcome. It's a positive environment there. Also, remember wolf if you got problems you can always talk to us about it. It's good that you did that already. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2006-09-25 10:07:03 |
|
Goals are nice but if not automatically making them for yourself then the ones you come up with usualy aren't that good for you. Funsch, I liked that last paragraph you have there. Reminiscent of myself, and before me Sero, and someone before him. I guess the real question is who will you inspire, to write that paragraph next. It's that whole chain-reaction thing. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
yes wold, i know how you feel...things sometimes seem really....nothing. it does make one seem lonely...then there are those moments where everything stops and everything is going at once.....i love how time can sometimes freeze at special moments like that. At my homecomming, there's this kid...his name is Joey and hes one of my really awsome friends. he was dancing with his girlfriend (who was runner up (i think) for homecomming queen)...they were having a great time dancing wild and having a blast. then the last song of the night played...a slow song. monica hates the slow songs, but i made her dance with me anyways! heh anywayse i could see joey and kristen dancing because Monica is a head shorter than i am...it was just so cute how those two danced...she had her head on his shoulder and they just well it seemed like they were like that forever...it was like the perfict scene of love. but yea, homecomming was really cool....i can now officially repeal any gripes i ever had about dancing....now that i've actually danced "dirty" its actually quite fun and i must give props to Monica for finally convincing me to throw away my morals and have fun for once. D&D is pritty fun....when you play, that is....i alwayse DM because i am the only one who knows how to do it....oh well |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
@D-Ninja You said: Goals are nice but if not automatically making them for yourself then the ones you come up with usualy aren't that good for you. Sorry, can you re-interpret that I don't get what you mean. And thxs btw, I hope my post and the others who's post were similar to us will inspire people who have similar problems to us and hopefully it'll give them the courage to try and conquer there problems. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2006-09-26 19:31:28 |
|
No prob. Funsch: Basically if you aren't good at setting goals for yourself (you set them either to high or to low) then you might want to become more proficient at it before you go and base your life on them. Also as you become more proficient at them you begin to make them more automatically than you did before, basically you start planning your day in goals without realizing it. Hope that helped, sometimes I can get a bit ambiguous as I write. Don't worry about when, or even whom you might affect. One never knows the full extent of the lives he or she touches. Nightmare, glad you had fun at your homecomming. Never "dirty danced" before, perhaps I should pick up a bit. Never know when it might come in handy, just like that roll of duct-tape I keep with me. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
I must say I don't think dirty dancing is such a good idea for me. I need plenty of space. Dancing is too similar to fighting. I'd probably kick someone in the head because they were moving too much. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
 
on 2006-09-27 03:24:56 |
Wahha, i dont even know how to dance -__- Havent give a try ever, and im kinda ashamed about it. Gosh, thank to heavens i got alteast good rhythm! but it wont help me really, if i have to dance(!)once for real.. im crying allready for that pain!   |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by
on 2006-09-27 16:59:54 (edited 2006-09-27 17:05:25)
|
|
...........i'm sick of everything..... ......... just ignore me..im kinda nuts right now... 
  |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
Link |
by eternaltorture
on 2006-09-27 17:55:36
|
| @Fa, awww...what happened? |
|
Re: The Depression Thread V3
|
|
@D-Ninja I think I know what you mean, your saying that I should be better at something before setting my goals at life based on that thing. e.g. talk to more girls b4 trying to find a girlfriend right? EDITED @FallenAngel I know how you feel, I kinda get sick of everything, if a lot of bad things happens to me a lot in a short period of time. Check out my post at: http://gendou.com/forum/thread.php?thr=8815&ent=295386#295386 if you want some inspiration on what to do and check out my posts after that as well. I think that might be able to help you. New stuff: Sigh, where do I start, damn I sound like a hypocrite saying this stuff, but here goes....... There's this girl in my college, I was attracted to her once, but I wanted to get to know her better before I made my move. So I started to talk to her and we started to talk to each other. Then one day, I wanted to make sure that she didn't have a boyfriend and guess what she told me she did. I knew this was gonna happen and was prepared for it, but when it did happen I couldn't handle my emotions and kinda got really upset. I think she knew I was upset. . The next day, I wanted to clear things up. That was my friggin mistake cause it was unnecessary. I told her that I was attrached to her and that I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable and that if she didn't want to talk to me I could understand. She said it was ok and we could still be friends. After that we'd stopped talking to each other. Anyways, a few weeks passed and everything seemed ok...... until.........BOOOMMMMMM! All of a sudden she comes hanging around my old group, and starts talking to everyone except me. I kinda felt pissed and left out cause this stuff has happened to me in the pass and it brang back bad memories. Anyways eventually I left the group cause I felt there was no harmony in it for me. But it was kinda a blessing in disguise, cause the new group I met, I was opened to them once and they understood how I felt and we could relate to each other. Anyways, I still she that girl i was interested in everyday, oh did I forget to tell you she's in my class. So I kinda get upset and pissed cause when I see her she talks to my other friends and leaves me hanging. Well I kinda accepted the fact that it was kinda my fault that we stopped talking to each other. Then another few weeks passed, during class the teacher told us to take one and pass on the rest of the handouts, well she was sitting next to me, but there was my friend sitting in front of her. I kinda got nervous cause I didn't know what to do, it was friggin stupid now I come to think of it. I guess I kinda got too paranoid, I thought that if I passed her the handouts, I thought that she'll think I'm on to her again. So I gave it to my friend instead. Anyways, here's the real problem: Now I think she's deliberately trying to piss me off by talking to the other guys whenever she sees me, cause I think it was because I didn't give her the handouts. Like for example, once I was going to my friend to see what he was doing on the computer and she put her hand on his shoulder and stuck her head forward next to his. And another time is that when i was walking down the corridor and I saw her with my friends she nudged my friend and started laughing. Dammit, sigh I keep having problem after problem, but at least I'm determined to solve this one just like the others. Anyways, I dunno what to do, I tried writing out my options on a piece of paper but it doesn't seem to be enough. I don't actually want to confront her and tell her how I feel cause after what happened last time: http://gendou.com/forum/thread.php?thr=13831&ent=295654#295654. I can't ignore the problem cause it'll show that she won, and she kinda knows I'm not that mentally strong. I so wanna do something about this problem, I'm thinking of getting revenge by intimidating her, e.g. let her see me talk to another girl. Is that right? Sigh, I dunno what to do........ Please help me find a solution guys. |