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Re: The depression thread
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That's pretty sleazy all right, sturm. I guess you know better than to "help" that guy again tho'. Unless, you dont mind being copied...but I know that I'd mind! And what's up with the stupid teacher? He obviously doesn't give a rat's @55 whether or not his (or her, you didn't say) students learn anything.  |
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Re: The depression thread
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okay, ahm... i have depressing stories i can share! i used to them, so i guess it's not so bad.. i'm not really victimized or anything like that, but some stuff just blows that i think would be good to get off my chest, because it seems pretty safe in here. okay! my mom's a drunk.. and she hits my brother a lot. he's going back to college really soon, and for a while i thought that she would hit me, but i'm not that sure. and if she does, i'm afraid that i'm going to start cutting again, because it was really hard to stop. she acts really weird all the time, and because my dad needs to work all day, that's just how it is... so, yeah! there you go. it's hard to trust people, i think.
nya........... hehe.
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Re: The depression thread
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| Nejigirl, have you and your brother tried to talk to your father about her drinking problem? She needs a reality check. If it keeps going on, something worse might happen. I hope everything will work out |
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Re: The depression thread
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How old is your brother? I think that's important. Is he old enough to stand up for himself? |
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Re: The depression thread
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| oldcrow, her brother is already at college so, I guess he's old enough to stand up for himself |
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Re: The depression thread
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So why does he let his mom hit him? It's kind of strange that a college kid would still let himself be slapped around by his mom...no offense! I just dont really understand the situation. |
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Re: The depression thread
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new people, new problems, new ideas, new advice...i love this site! btw, i woke up with a cold this morning...but on a good note, my friend that lives in Alabama is OK and her home is fine too! YAY! anyway... jomanug: im already a Goth, what more do you want? it makes them uncomfortible, but it doesen't freek them out...so i dont think your plan would work. but i DO plan on spending a week or so at a friends house after my 18th birthday... oldcrow: Thank you for your support, thank ALL of you for your support, it means alot... minnie: Thank you for your support! the reason you sugessted is one of the major reasons why i DIDN'T kill myself. its a VERY good reason! thank you for your impute! sturm : all i can say is that is absolutly stupid! i would go on, but my sore throught is bugging me and im kinda tired...but im sure you can imagen what i want to say! nejigirl: I feel for you...i know how you feel, even though my parents dont physically hit me. ive heard stories of families like yours, and i think that its really sad that some people would do that to there own children. the one thing that i want to stress is PLEASE don't start cutting again!!!!! its horrible! ive seen what it can do to people...people VERY close to me. its ruined there lives. so PLEASE dont start cutting! if it will help, ill pray a rosery for you tomorrow...because...well...i cant even talk...im sorry, just please don't do it...  |
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Re: The depression thread
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whoa, i had no idea people would be this concerned... this stuff is normal, isn't it? well, here are your answers: my brother is 18. he is perfectly capable of standing up for himself, and many times he does fight back, but it usually only makes matters worse. a lot of times they break lamps and put holes in walls and stuff like that, and i think he believes that it's better for my mom to just get it out of her system instead of encouraging it or something... i don't usually get involved, i just shield my ten year old sister... i usually get her out of the house and whatnot. my mom was originally a psychologist, and i think she developed mental problems because of that and the fact that my grandma used to hit her because she had a rocky relationship with my grandfather. they told me that he was dead, but i think he's alive in a mental hospital {i've seen transactions and whatnot, so it's not just a vague belief}. my father and i have discussed her drinking, and we've done things like taking all the alcohol out of the house, but she just buys more. i really want my dad to get a divorce, but then he would be forced to remarry immediately or hire a nanny, because he needs someone to run the household. i cut for several years, on my forearm, upper-legs and my stomach, for many different reasons. i did it because i felt that i needed to punish myself for certain reasons, and that i was guilty of starting many horrible things. although i like to believe that i'm stronger, i can't help but fear that my stresses will cause me to take that kind of action, or something like that. oh, and ahm... nightmare, do people have a problem with you being a goth? because i'm perfectly okay with it, i think that's fine... i don't think i'm exactly like that, though. i'm more of an emo kind of hippie person... i don't talk in my house anymore, it's just better that way... so, yeah.... another thing: i was raised roman catholic, i never had a choice in the matter, and my mother really made me question my faith, especially because of the fact that she's a religion teacher... what kind of religion teacher beats her kid?!? but yeah, i've come to terms with the fact that it's not all about that, and i think i'm sort of agnostic now.... i do believe in a god, and i think it's better not to focus on things like this, because they can't change rather quickly... i try to strengthen myself, and learn to grow and have faith in the things that i feel are beautiful in the world... and i never lose the ability to dream... because without that, i would surely already be dead.
nya........... hehe.
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Re: The depression thread
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All I can say is fuck you guys write so much but that is good thing since you guys have been giving Nightmare good advice. I feel like I am in a psych class w/all this talk of depression. Nightmare you are not the only one w/ feelings of depression. I mean I can so relate to you feeling so depressed because I am bi and into the gothic and metal scene. I am pessimistic and no matter what I do and that is never going to change but I am starting to enjoy life. I mean is that not the gothic outlook towards life seeing life's beauty in all angles! I mean just because you are goth doesn't mean you have to be all into death and what not I mean I know a lot of metal heads and gothics who are not like that (ut don't take it like I am judging you because I am not because who am I to judge rite). They don't believe playing into the goth sterotype. I so agree w/you on the whole chivalry thing I mean it looks like it is out of practice and even though girls say they like that in a guy when they meet them they are such bitches but I know there has to be someone out there who thinks chilvary is hot lol! I know you think your parents are controling but have you thought maybe they are just controling because they care I mean I am not defending them because my parents can be that way too. I mean they still are not really all over me being into the metal scene and they don't even know I am bi and I know that would make them explode. I also know what you are saying about freakin and krunking hope i spelled it rite. Well best wishes in finding happiness in your life. P.S. You think its hard looking for a gf trying looking for someone from either side. Goth pride yeah! |
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Re: The depression thread
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This isnt helpful at all, but dont do cutting. You dont have to punish yorself. The point is stop being mean to your body. Nightmare is right I shoulnt give you ideas.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The depression thread
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of course we are concerned...no human should have to suffer through that...its truly horrible, and it hurts my heart that someone who is so pure (i think) could be subjected to that...its truly sad. im VERY happy to hear that you protect your younger sister the way you do. its very important to protect the innocent ones in a matter like this. You should be proud of yourself! If you care that much about your sister, you are truly a good person...don't ever forget that! Im truly sorry to hear about your mother, believe it or not, its not that uncommon, i hear MANY stories about this kind of thing...my heart hurts every time i hear another... regarding the cutting, you dont need to resort to self mudilation to relieve stress. there are other ways...TALKING to people is a big help. talk to your sister, talk to your brother, talk to your father...TALK TO US!! we can help, trust me, the others helped me. but YOU ARE STONG ENOUGH!!! you just have to have the Will to back it up. i believe in you, nejigirl, you can do it! people are supprisingly acceptive of my Gothic mindset. there are a few that have problems, but i dont care...i am what i am, no one can change that! im proud to be a Goth, im proud to be one of the few chivilrus men remaining on this planet. im proud to be ME! i used to try and fight it, but once i accepted myself for who i am, i am at peace with myself...that is the only thing that matters... and thank you for your acceptance, it means alot! (did you know that the gothic subculture and the "hippie" subculture sprang from the same roots?.......this has been another...useless fact.) God is a big help, trust me! but your attitude is a VERY good one! strengthen yourself, phyesically, emotionally, spirritually. i do it every day, meditation is a GREAT help...but its hard to free your mind. realise that there are many beautiful things in this world! se the beauty in the most unconventional thing. go and sit in a field and just listen and look around, its there. i find beauty in the darkness...but thats me. find a nice, calm place to relax, and just, exist for an hour...its absolutly wonderful! this world is full of beauty, but you must seek it, to find it...Good luck! never, EVER loose your ability to dream...i did once, and i almost killed myself because of it...read a good book, escape into another world. take refuge there... your mind is the one place that only YOU can enter. a sacred place where you can be at peace. never give up! know that someone cares always...even if they are a thousand miles away... |
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Re: The depression thread
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well, while i was typing, i got som more messages...cool! goth: aside from you being bi (im not, by the way...duh) you and i are alot alike! lifes beauty at all angles...an excelent summery! most people look at the good, and shun the bad. we look at everything. the world is NOT an nice place, and there are ALOT of jerks in it. but behind it all, there is still beauty, in the light AND in the darkness. i HATE the steryotypes people out on us, they are SO wrong! but rock on, my Goth brother, rock on! jomunga: dont give her any ideas!!!!! its ALL horrible! just dont do it...there is ALWAYS a better way! |
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Re: The depression thread
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Hmmm... it sounds like you've tried just about everything. Since none of it works, I think that the best thing you can do would be to avoid her as much as possible. Stay over at friend's houses, go for walks, hang out at the local coffee shop, or just stay in your room. If you see that she's drunk, try to stay away from her. You could also try reasoning with her when she's sober, but I bet you already tried that. You should try to do the same with your sister: help her avoid your mother. Good for you for protecting her. And whatever you do, remember that cutting yourself won't do anything to change the situation, except you'll be even more miserable. This isn't your fault and you don't need to punish yourself for anything. The best solution would be for your father to divorce your mother, since she is making everyone miserable, whether intentionally or not. If he has to hire a nanny or maid, then so be it--unless you really can't afford it. But is a nanny or maid really necessary? I would think that you and your sister could volunteer to "manage the household" to at least some extent, especially since you're mother's management is probably not all it could be due to her drinking problem. This might be something to bring up with your father...or not, you're the one with the best grasp of the situation after all, not me. And goth: you're quite right. I talk too dam much. But that has its advantages--since joining this site, my typing has greatly improved, both in speed and technique. (I kid you not!) |
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Re: The depression thread
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Your mom is your dads responsiblity, he should have seen this coming. Any ways talk to your dad about your mom and leave her alone. Your mom really needs some good times. Have your dad get her out of the house and away from the booze once in a while. Your dad needs to take some initiative and force her to take some medication for either her alcohol prob or what not. You can threaten your mom about calling social services about this case, they can legally force your mom out of the house, and force her to take some treatment of some sort. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The depression thread
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Nejigirl: As jomunga said, your father has to take the iniciative and try talking to her as hard as possible to make her let out the booze, and make an ultimatum... if your mother doesn't leave the alcohol, then the family will leave her, she's the one making your family's life miserable. DON'T cut yourself, you have no fault, there is no need for punishment. You will only hurt your body for some mental relief, there are other ways for that. When you start wanting to cut yourself, go out with your friends, talk with them, or watch an anime, have a good time. Just do something to relief your mind and to stop thinking about cutting. Dont punish yourself, you seem to kind to be. About goths, only some of the older people feel a bit uncomfortable around them. In the new generation there aren't many people like that, atleast here, I don't know how it is in north-america. In High School, a friend of mine dressed like a goth and was into metal scene, and was one of the most popular guys at school, and he wasn't even good-looking. |
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Re: The depression thread
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Problems... Homestly, I have so many problems. One of those is the english language...well you see Im not that good in the english at school and one time in our speech class, my teacher almost got angry to me cause I can't speak english right!!! Another are my siblings...I have a sicter and a brother. Both of them always team up against me and the thing is, because they are older against me my parents would go in their side even they are wrong! Another problem is at school. I got many friends but i dont feel that they are true to me. They never gave me a chance to tell my story or listen to my problem. It's good that God is great that I can still survive from all of this problems. But I think i cant take it anymore thats why Im sharing it through the internet...I really love gendou...
smile smile...
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Re: The depression thread
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Don't look for quanity in friends, look for quality. Find people who you think would be good friends and try becoming friends, even if it means ignoring your other friends. It sounds easier than it is, but there is usually a group of friends in every school that suits you. This is how I made my friends in highschool. English language sucks terribly, grammar wise especially. It will only improve with practice and time. Just avoid crappy siblings. I can't help much here because my solution is kick your brothers ass, but that really only applies to people like me. Try getting on your sister's good side. Turn the tables against your brother. I tried using correct grammar to help you with your english, however even a full American like me can't get perfect grammar. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
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Re: The depression thread
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ok what i meant to say is that if my education depends on this teacher who fails to realize that some1 is plagerizing on her own test should i be depressed that i got knocked down from a honor status to join this class when the students dont kno simple divison (junior year) and the teacher fails to realize that was her own exam and not another assiment that hes was coping to begin with. which brings me to another question should we have still not be punished? i mean i am gratreful but she did nothing but give it back and say (in a clueless manner) u can do this after class! and i dont mind being copied off of or make a big deal of it... ok and this is real life and this is areal question of me and my boredom in the class if i kno everything there and i cant talk to ne1 if there all intent on learning the fine arts of division and order of operation. i dont mind the criticism but i havent heard any actual answers and to the person with the cutting problem (no offense whatso ever): i believe that cutting is a malicious thing to do to yourself but if it does help u get through the day then you should find something else that has the same effect emotionally like commenting on my story a couple messages back or filling the void with answers to random forms here or make sandwitches and eat them (that helps me!)
"Empires rise and fall, but evil is eternal"
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Re: The depression thread
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by night_link
on 2005-08-31 14:20:06 (edited 2005-08-31 14:41:32)
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Please... don't hurt yourself nejigirl anymore... and everyone else with depression problems for that matter... I used to have conflicts with my parents that got so bad I really lost control of myself. The arguments were usually about something wrong with me. Sometimes I would go outside and just hit anything until I thought that I might've broken my hand, but it never did. Other times, I'm in one spot where I was just furious but didn't do anything. One time, when no one was around and after maybe the biggest argument I ever had, I ran into the kitchen and took out knife that was sharpened recently and cut across my left arm. I didn't even feel it because all of it happened so fast. The only sounds were my crying, not because of the cut, but of my frustration. It didn't start bleeding immediately but it bleed soon enough. It was my birthday then. Since we really didn't celebrate birthdays, no one noticed it. No one also noticed it becuase it was on the lower part of my arm. I rememeber feeling that after my arm was cut, my right hand was covered in blood. Even though I was confused then, I looked at my blood and asked myself whether this was really what I wanted. It wasn't. The next couple of days, I still had to go to school. I kept 2 band aids on my arm just incase I moved too suddenly and the clot would be disturbed. I kept it clean with alcohol, but it still left a scar. During those couple of days, I already calmed down about the situation and just kept quiet to myself. Times change, for the good part and bad . Whatever sorrow or anger that happens, I have to make sure that it doesn't get to me. Because if it did, I really hurt more than I think and I won't be able to change it. adana, never mind what I said before. I was too rash in reading the comments on the thread. Sorry. And sorry again for my long comment. |
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Re: The depression thread
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yeah... band-aids, long sleeves, whatever... i used to do that drill too. in any event, ahm... yeah... don't have much to say. my friends are incredibly supportive {and my new friends here, thanks to all}, but i go to a private school so they all live like uber-far away. seeing them often will not be an option till i go back to school, which is thankfully soon.... and i know what you mean, nightmare: finding beauty in all aspects of life is something that means a lot to me.... and thanks again from everyone for the advice... my dad says that my mom has had this problem for a long, long time, only now have i noticed it... i guess because i'm older and it's far more apparent.
nya........... hehe.
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