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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-08 09:24:54 |
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I'm thinking about: "How to make a Baby..hmm..."  |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
  
on 2009-05-09 04:24:08 |
WTF! AL.  ---------------------------- "omg...something smells like paksiw...kinda hungry... uhh..my stomachs growlin--WTF AL! LOLOLOL."    |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-09 05:03:23 |
| I'm thinking for an answer to his question. :o |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-09 08:19:27 |
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lol!! What's it Stolie?? lol!! ______________________________________________________________________ I'm thinking about...my homework...what topic i must used for it...hmmm... *Maybe...how to make a baby topic?! lol!!* |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-09 15:38:40 |
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AL LOL wtf ok besides thinking about that. [spilled out exactly how Im thinking it] Thinking about how to escape. Lol I'm beginning to feel sorry for myself. Something I never wanted to do. On the contrary to being treated like shit, the best person I ever knew told me I am his/her favourite person. .__. How am I supposed to accept that? How is it possible that this person I admire holds me in such high regard while I'm being made to feel like the lowliest piece of dirt by some others? I don't mind being alone. I've become used to it really. It's when I'm alone and watching others that I hurt. I like to be helpful but I don't like when people think they can help me with my problems. They can't, and I never asked. Why are you such a freaking liar, lol. Sometimes I want to be mean to you. I know enough about you that I could if I wanted to, you know. I'm sure you could hurt me a lot more without even trying, too. And I don't crave your attention, and I especially don't want to compete for it. I don't care if we talk everyday or not. I don't feel to need to force conversation when it doesn't flow freely between us. I'm fine alone, like I said, and I'll be here if you need me. You. Goddamn. and some others too.. why would you do something just to be "cool", really. Does it feel good to be fake? Shallow feelings of acceptance are very very temporary. Who are you anymore lol? When you keep piling on this persona made up of things you want people to see you as, merely for acceptance, you lose yourself. You really do. And this is the INTERNET. You know I tell myself that a lot. "It's just the internet" I try to pretend I'm detached. But even when I'm away and stuff, I still have friends here. And to be honest, I've met some of the best people in my life on here. and still I allowed myself to be vulnerable enough to get hurt by some of those same people. College is not where I belong at this time in my life. My mind can't focus. I just want to explore new things, and I can't stay concentrated on books and lectures. Being cooped up in such a small and uninteresting environment, I think my mind was being suffocated. and now after having let loose into the REAL WORLD where there are so many things and people and places to look at and touch and talk to and etc, I just cant seem to calm it down. I can make very good grades at SHSU. So thats what Im going to do. I'm hoping in 2 years Ill know what I want to do. If it's something in science I'm gonna return to MIT. If it's something more toward the Arts/Humanities, I'll transfer to UT Austin. You know, when I'm focused, matured and not wasting time anymore. YOU KNOW WHAT I WANNA DO RIGHT NOW???? I want to drop out, runaway to Canada and join a band. I dont care about being famous I just want to play the drums, or maybe even guitar if I get better at it. I want to go to Montreal, get stoned, and play in a f#cking band. I want to make enough money to take care of myself and to go visit my friends. Because that's all that I care about. I've been living off of freaking oatmeal EVERYDAY. and had ONE DAY of free chicken. i have NOODLES save incase I really cant eat oatmeal anymore. because its really starting to make me sick. like im starting to feel nausiated just by looking at the oatmeal. which well, I still have 2 weeks left. and then I can FREAKING RUNAWAY. and go back home, where everyone wants to make me fat again with their stupid texas fat food. I LOVE MEAT OK. but every once in a while and like damn. I like being small really. Its a nice feeling. once im home im not gonna stay still though. my car is getting fixed now and im running away to dallas for a bit, and then to austin. You know I was going to runaway to california too, but the tickets sold out for the f#cking concert in just a few days. what a freaking rip off. I am so pissed. how do i tell her we cant go anymore? I dont understand this whole good luck bad luck thing anymore. Maybe you could just give me all the bad luck first and then hit me with the good luck? :D that would be ideal. but no. Im getting struck with really good and really bad altogether and dunno wtf to think about anything. I'm a very lucky person. A very very very lucky person. Im grateful for my family, friends, and food. and all the good fortune that Ive received. But my life has been hardwork ALWAYS. YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY FREAKING LIFE?!!!!? well im not gonna tell you. it's too long of a story. and Im sure theres a character limit in forum posting. Yesterday I was so hungry. my fawking period. it's like, a tape worm magically appears inside me every time. My period cant keep up with my current diet. and i say diet as in my eating habits. not like "my plans to get skinny". im not eating one bowl of oatmeal a day to get skinny. Im eating one bowl of oatmeal a day to save money. because food is a freaking inconvenience. the money is better spent on my friends, or on stuff like buying a plane ticket home. If I was rich I would buy someone a laptop. then i would buy like plane tickets to malaysia, canada & australia, respectively. just see a few folks. I bet they'll not like me in person. im honestly scared to meet anyone ever again. I'm so awkward. It's odd though, like, adults that I'v had to meet in person for various school things. they always like me o.O and they always say good things about me when they talk to other adults about me. Im really friendly to strangers. In fact I think strangers are the best people in the world. Ive heard several strangers tell me their life stories. just like on a bus or plane ride. Ive talked with a transvestite hooker, i had lunch with a homeless man, i sat next to a model on a plane, people are just really beautiful. they scare me though really. Im very afraid of people, and for all the wrong reasons. Im scared of them like "i dont want them to look at me" so ill cross the street and go down the opposite side walk. or like in the mall it was like dang i dont want them to watch me eat so im gonna sit outside to eat. lol. I'm afraid to be noticed, and yet.. there's like 2 people.. i always want them to notice me. always. i just want them to think of me, even. even if its bad thoughts, I just want to be thought about by them. I just want them to acknowledge me. and one does. She always does. i think sometimes like, I hope I didnt hurt such and such person. and I start thinking about the things ive done and wonder how many times i hurt their feelings. i hope i didnt, but im so stupid. most of the time i dont even think about whether im hurting someone, i just act impulsively and deal with the consequences later. thats basically how i live my life. without much productive planning. I'm sorry if i hurt you, but ill probably do it again. just dont try to take it personally please? there are a few people who stalk my "what are you thinking" and "how do you feel" posts. i dont think any of them would bother reading this huge chunk of nothingness. if YOU read this, yes you. the one person. I just wanted to thank you for always making me feel like a person who's life is worth living. i wish i could return the favor, but i'm much too clumsy to replicate the gesture. there was more but i got lazy. |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by Symerian -
on 2009-05-09 16:01:27 |
I am thinking I need to study Japanese MOAR with MOAR effort. Seriously. I really should. HAve to get over my lazyness. That's what I am thinking, and at teh same time, I think my back hurts, because of this stupid pc chair. crap. Also, I I think I should visit this Forum more often. Thats it.  |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
  
on 2009-05-10 13:32:26 (edited 2009-05-10 13:33:12)
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Here is what I'm thinking. Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May. I'm hungry. I miss my old carefree self. I miss you. I wish I wasn't weird. My pants smell weird. I added little stars to my profile, I wonder if you'll notice. My kitty is soft. I'm hungry still. That lady is really pretty on tv. I wish you would laugh more with me. Lucy in the sky with diamonds. But soft, what light through the yonder window breaks? It is the east, and juliet is the sun. I want to disappear. I want to reappear. I want to be the diamond in the rough. HEhe that reminds me of Aladdin. My pants smell weird. I might change. Sam's paragraph is really huge. How come she won't read my little paragraphs when hers is SO FREAKING BIG hahaha. Am I notable? Brush me away like a paintbrush. Skeleton me~ Skeleton. I get to see star trek today finally. I wish I was worth staying for. I wish I was worth something. Ho hum, ho hum. heigh ho, its off to work I go. TBC. |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-10 21:39:38 |
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I hope my java'll work.. lol |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-11 09:25:14 |
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O_o?! Samme?! I'm thinking about my future now...*sigh* |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-11 17:21:14 |
| HAHAHA. Idiot. |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by Kaida (a.k.a. ShadowYin-Yang)
on 2009-05-11 19:24:39
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I'm thinking about how stupid my dad is.
-Anime/Manga fan(nerd)and proud of it!!!
-I hate school
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-11 19:30:18 |
| wt song i gonna listen next |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-11 20:36:26 |
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I hope my java's menu work.. lol deadline!! D: |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-11 20:55:13 |
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Damn fking cowards. |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-11 20:59:36 |
What the heck happen to my Soda!? 
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-12 01:25:53 |
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"uuggh..my head hurts...are we still leaving...?.. this freewebs are cool. good thing i found about this..i dont know what to do with it though.O.o"" ---------------- AL: are you old enough to think about MAKING a baby?  Sammah: woah! thinking like that might fap your brain. xD |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-12 01:32:55 |
*hmmm i can go for some noodles right now ^_^*  |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-12 13:52:57 |
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Why the hell do I get treated like trash. Yelled at all the time, and freaking questioned everyday. Always with "what am I gonna do with my life and all that junk." And still has the nerve to ask me to help him run errands, translate, and drive someone. GAAAHH!! =__=   |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-12 14:57:03 |
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thinking that I feel bad for meimei :c cause I experienced the same thing when I'm at home.. which I'll be back at in like 2 more weeks >.< thinking about.. this thing where I have really good luck and really bad luck all at once... it's alright. I think I'm lucky no matter what. I'm thinking I'm very glad to have all of the friends I met here on gendou. I hope I don't grow up too much. i hope we don't grow too far apart. |
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Re: What are you thinking right now?
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by
on 2009-05-12 15:08:55 |
| i think im going to throw up ;__; |