|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
Hey Nightmare, how old are you and the girls at your dance? If they are in high school, why are you talking about values in girls? Yeah they might like the grind-style of dancing (which someone on the net likened it to 'dry sex - sex with clothes on'), but they and you are still high school kids which means u and them ought to have fun and worry about values at home or when you become a full adult. Listen to what GTO said to the vice principal. High school is about having as much fun as possible before you leave, coz once u get into the real world, there will hardly be any time to have fun. I know coz I wasted my highschool life getting depressed over 2 chicks. And losen up, I just dont see how people grinding against each other can be so digusting that you would vomit. I think the problem is that ur parents are too overprotective. Try to let them know that u dont want all that overprotectiveness, you gotta go to the world sometimes and experience wat it's like. I used to be all up tight (is that the right word for it?) when I was in primary school and junior high, but I've learnt to let go of a few things. I'm not saying those things u hold on to now are bad, no by no means, but know that ur ideals aint every1's so let them be. Well, i think u got too much bad experiences and u are goin back to ur shell. I think it's good for you at this time. Just regain ur energy and stuff and while doing that keep observing things around you. See how people relate to each other and stuff and learn from them. Try make at least one new friend, one can lead you to several. I know, coz that's how I got my friends in High school. And just the nite b4, I went to one of my uni friend's welcome back party and met this other guy who is into anime as I am. Which reminds me, dont go for chicks only, look for male friends too (I'm not tellin u to be gay though). |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
well, it took you a while, but you are finally makeing some sence. old man kai: i had you all wrong, im sorry. you really do have some genuin wisdom. fortunatly, Michigan is a rather rural state once you get out of metro Detroit. the rural spaces are 15 minuts away from me, unfortunatly, how am i going to meet girls from the rural areas. Catholic Central is in a rural area...but its an all guys school, most of the guys invite all the city girls to the dance. but i can understand your point! i aslo understand now that i is childish for me to just give up...i suppose i will find someone eventually. Seki: im 16 so yes im a junior in high school. however, "fun" is NOT what high school is about, high school is about getting good grades so that you can get into a good collage. besides, i cannot have "fun" doing something that goes agenst my morals. i havent had fun in a long time. "grinding" as you call it, is disgusting in my book, thats just the way i feel about it! "grinding" and dry sex leads to bigger things, a road that eventually leads to the unerasable sin. a topic i intend to stay well away from! however, one good thing did come out of high school...high school is where i discovered anime. i try my best to make my parents (its mostly mom) to let me go and run my own life...but she WILL NOT let me go. every time i try to break free, she ads more chains. sooner or later, ill break free and find myself in a very cut throught world. i can see it happening, but im powerless to stop it. thats another reason i want to find a grilfriend, so that she can show me things out there. but how can i find her if im chained to this house?  |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
Seki your advice is good but doesn't really apply to me though. The "HEY! I'M A GUY WIF NO CONFIDENCE IN MY OWN ABILITY, I WANT A CHICK TO BE MY GF TO MAKE ME HAPPY." comment is pretty much the oppiste of me. I want to make my girlfriend happy, even if I have to get the crappiest of jobs. I dont want a girl who worries about my income, even though I am rich, I dont say come get me for my money. Plus I dont go for chicks at all, every girl around me is leagues below me. I have never seen a girl that ive had the slightest intrest in. Any girl that comes on to me either wants my cash or is immpressed by my muscles, none even consider personality when searching for boyfriend, most just want sex. Sex is the last thing im worried about. I plan on staying a virgin for my future girlfriend as I would expect of her, if I can get 1, Probably not. I wont just settle for girls under my league.  Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The depression thread
Link |
by night_link
on 2005-08-20 19:29:43
|
|
Ahh, forget it nightmare, like I said even good hearted people make mistakes... I always do, but I'm trying to change my ways. Are you an only child? By what you describe of you're mom, it would seem really unfair especially if you had a sibling that is either treated the same way or much differntly (I mean that in a bad way). I'm not sure if that has anything connection, just curious. Who knows, that might just have some meaning behind your situation. Boy, I rememeber growing up I was really expecting good times at school. I did at times and didn't. Besides what I learned in school, there was another part that teachers do not teach you. That is how to make it in society... at least I don't think they normally do. Out of the many people I met, friends made and lost, remembered and forgotten, I still have one I can reconize as someone who really is willing to help me out through whatever. This person wasn't born in the U.S. and helped me through when I was really down and taught me not to lose myself to my memories and what happens. I love to see the world and whenever my friend tells me of where he grew up, I can't wait until I get out even more. |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
"fun" is NOT what high school is about, high school is about getting good grades so that you can get into a good collage That was the mentality that Onizuka didnt want in his students. Yes, getting good grades is great and all that but what about your own life? Are you satisfied with just trying to get into a good college then into a good job? If so that's ur path. But there must be fun in life too, the way you talk abt things I feel that you are way too serious about things. I was and still am but all my friends have been telling me to lighten up. And these friends are much better than me in terms of grades and in life. I know moral stuff are deteriorating nowadays but that's the trend. You can keep your moral stuff that's honourable but you can either remain aloof from it all or participate in it (but without succumbed by it). "Life is a drama, escept it hurts but you must participate in it" is what I heard once. Are you sure all the girls around you are below average? I think your standards are set to Very High. Yes, I think you being rich might be a problem with getting girls that truely likes you. By the way, have you ever seriously talk to those girls who hit on you? Are you absolutely sure that they are only after you for your money and body? You have money and you said you have a good physique, so what are you complaining about? I look like a weakling and i am plus i'm poor to the point that all my money from work is all finished by end of week. And again, you wanting a girlfriend to make her happy is a wrong view to take. And to want a gf so that she can show you the world out there shows how insecure and dependent you are as a person. HOW can you make a girl happy when you are miserable yourself? You have to be at peace and happy with yourself first. "You havent even got yourself in order and you are trying to mess with other people" is what my parents used to say and i think it applies to you. You watched Evangelion right? what Asuka said to Shinji is right and applies to you and me. "Happy is not something that people can give to you" or something like that. Which is true, happiness you have to find yourself. A gf cant give it to you, you think it does but is it really happiness? be true to yourself. Umm.. you are SIXTEEN for crying out loud, why the heck are getting miserable over not having a gf yet? Do you have to have one right now? there's still like 14 years ahead of you to get a gf which is PLENTY of time. Now, someone like me who is 22 and still no gf is a problem but even that is stupid according to my friends. I set 30yrsold as the limit u see. And you actually have girls HITTING on you! Damn it, what wouldnt I give to have just below average girls hitting on me. You have things so nice set for you and you are MISERABLE about it? |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
Dont get me wrong im sure every one is more depressed than me here. I like my current life right now, my past was hell and I cant hold on to this life style forever because its leading me nowhere. I am 18 not 16 already out of highschool. Senior year was terrific. Not miserable, just cant find purpose in life. 30 years old is my limit too. I know what the girls are like around me. Many of the girls who hit on me have already been to my house in one of my sisters parties. Nightmare, if you were disgusted by the dance at your school, do not come to one of my sisters parties. Those are the worst types of parties with the worst type of people, with the worst type of things going on. I cant refrain from kicking peoples asses during these parties. School was practicaly the same, Ive even gone on probation for smacking a guy in the middle of class. Seki if you want just an average girl friend I will try to give my help. Go to the girlfriend thread I will give you advice, tip, hints. I havent watched GTO yet dont spoil anything 4 me. I plan on dowloading it right after Tokyo Mew Mew is done. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
jomunga: our situations sound rather simmilar, except fot the fact that im not rich or "cute". but you and i face the same problem, 2 guys who want purpose and meaning in there lives. i guess we just have to keep at it! and trust me, your probibly just as depressed ans any of us. Old Man Kai: the answer is yes, i am an only child. and yes, that is probibly part of it. and i have a friend like that too, but she is slowly turning into one of THOES girls and i woory about her constantly. Seki: a small word before i get into your response, Fun is good, but it comes easy...for YOU! for us, its hard to have fun. no matter what we do. remember that! yes, grades are VERY important to me! my father pushes that and i believe him! grades are THE most imortant thing in my life right now, EVERYTHING is below grades. "fun" is something i simply do not have accsess to becuase im always shut up in this house. i know its sad, but its the truth...grades come first, everything else comes second. yes, im 16, yes i'm looking for a girlfriend. if you have a problem with that, then its YOUR problem, not ours! according to you, your not supposed to have a girlfriend to make you happy, make her happy, find happyness, feel loved or find purpous. um...let me ask you something, why do YOU, Seki, want a girlfriend? is it just because your getting older and you feel you should have a woman by now? because thats what your sounding like! and THAT is the worst reason of them all! personally, i feel that to make you happy, make her happy, find happyness, feel loved or find purpous are all perfictly acceptable reasons to want a girlfriend! you clame that we take things too seriously, that we need to "lighten up"? i think you need to wake up from your "fun" and realise the truth that we have realised! the world is not a "fun" place! people like us have the MATTERIAL things we need to live. but we are all missing one curtial piece. we need PURPOUSE! we need to feel LOVED and CARED ABOUT! we seek it openly because we need to feel whole. we LONG for it. we are depressed because we cannot find it. i think you need to take things a little MORE seriously! and soon, that is if you want to find that special girl that is waiting for you...but your to busy having "fun" to notice her. "You have things so nice set for you and you are MISERABLE about it?" your absolutly correct! |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
Oh, I DO take things seriously, too seriously if you ask my friend's opinion. How can it be difficult to have fun? Fun is doin what you enjoy the most. Are you saying u enjoy nothing? you watch anime, there you go u can have fun watching anime. I have my fun going to karaoke. If you ask anyone they probably can tell you where they get their 'fun' from. Each person have his idea of fun. I was just saying that from the way you wrote in your post, you have lost the 'fun' in your life. You had fun when you were younger, surely you must have, or did you lose that child part of you already? If you did lose it, then you need to find it again. And I DIDNT say that you aint supposed to have a gf to find love and return love to your gf, I'm just saying you are right now in no position in getting one. And MY reason for wanting a girlfriend is the same as yours (find love, happiness, etc), every guy who is looking for a gf or a partner have the same reasons but I have realised from my friends what I told you before. That one, I need to have a stable source of income; two, that I need to get my own affairs in order before I get a gf. And yes, part of my reason for wanting a gf is that I'm getting older and should have a woman by now. BUT there is more to it than that. I'm Chinese and we Chinese have placed importance on family. My grandma is almost 100 years old and I dont think she has long to live. It was my wish that not only to get a gf but also to get married so that I might provide my grandma with a great grandson!! I dont think there's anything wrong in trying to fulfull my grandparent's hope of being a great grandmother before she die is there?! Being materialistic is practical in real life that I know, and that I dont need you to tell me. Purpose, it can be found anywhere if you care to look, getting a gf shouldnt be your only purpose. I've said that to my friend once that getting a gf is one of my big purpose in life, and she told me that that view is just wrong. Not just her, everyone i know have been telling me the same thing. Oh, yeah, grades are VERY IMPORTANT. mmm, i totally agree. Let see, good grades gets you into a great college/university, a great uni can get you great degree which gets you great job. The great job gets you lots of money. But during that journey have you realise what you would have missed out? You have lost the enjoyment, 'fun', in being alive. And getting a good grades then a good degree then a great job with great pay then wat? what would you get then? Getting a great paying job comes at a price you know. Let see (i'm kinda quoting from my dad), an average worker (pay that allows you to have some money spare) dont earn much but by the end of the day he or she can just wipe their hands so to speak and go home to rest and spend time with the family. A CEO or some job like that has great pay but at the end of the work days he or she cant rest like his or her workers do. No, people in high ranking jobs have to take their work home wif them. Worrying how things would go, how long will a report to the company would take to be drawn up, and when things comes up they have to go to the office in the most inconvenient hours plus not much time to spend with the family. How can I be so sure or actually, how can my dad be so sure about that? He once worked as department head of TYCO factory in the Hong Kong branch and that's what he have to do, whereas now he's in a job that pays alot less but my dad says that at least now he dont need to take work home wif him. My dad did the best in his studies, quite knowledgeable in fact, but what had it cost him? His social skills. He cant relate to people that are not as sophisticated as he is while his younger brother who works as a pastor is better than he is. He got a degree in engineering and how much does that apply now in his job in the plastic factory where he just shaves off sharp ends in plastic boxes and crates? You know, I also once thought that I wont find my true love if I dont seriously look for her. But sometimes, the more you want something and the more you look and search, the more those things wont come to you. In fact it might get you the opposite, that in trying desperately in getting a gf you might end up still a bachelor when you are an old man. It's probably lame but you can draw a lesson from Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars EP3. He knows that Padme will die and he desperately tries to prevent it to the point he becomes the thing he didnt want to become. And in the end, Padme still died because of him. But what if Anakin didnt try so hard to save Padme? Padme would have lived because Anakin would not have become Darth Vader and would not have broke Padme's heart. If you think about it, you yourself have the same sort of danger, that if you so desperate in getting your wish come true you might end up prevent it from ever happening. Do not be controlled by your emotions, be at peace Do not become too passionate in your quests, be serene And that if you are destined to have something in life, you will eventually get it, and if you are not meant to have it, then no matter how much you look you wont get it. Even if you do, it wont bring happiness. These are eastern wisdoms, take heed and take heart young one. |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
well, seki. the answer is yes, i dont have fun. i have things i enjoy doing...but i can never do them because im stuck in this house all day and i have no money...i like to play cards, but its hard to play Magic or poker with only me. i like to paint Warhammer 40,000 modles, but with no money, i cannot afford paints OR the modles. i like to watch anime, but i can't because school tyakes up so much of my time. i have had this book that ive wanted to read for 2 years! but im only on page 50 after 2 years of school. so yes, i suppose you could say i have lost the "fun" in my life. when i was younger, i had lots of fun. but that part of my life is gone now. school is the only thing that matters. i can understand now why you search for a girlfriend. i had no idea...please forgive me... i can understand what your talking about the high paying jobs leave you no time for your family...but seriously, if i dont have a wife, I WONT HAVE A FAMILY!!! so it wont matter. ill be the first to admite that if that happened, it would be trajic and i will feel unhappy and unfulfilled. but you said "And that if you are destined to have something in life, you will eventually get it" well the opposite is just as true... |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
yeah, i said "And that if you are destined to have something in life, you will eventually get it" but did you read the part afterwards? That was the opposite of this quote, "...and if you are not meant to have it, then no matter how much you look you wont get it. Even if you do, it wont bring happiness". I'm not sure, but are your parents of Asian ethnicity? Because usually your type of parents can be found in most well-to-do Asian families. It's sad for the kid and I really dislike parents who are absolute in that way. Discipling is fine and all but the parents shouldnt interfere in their kid's growing like this. One of the ways a kid can grow is learn to relate to people, find something they like to do, and stuff like that. But being cooped up in a house/prison wont get the kid any of this. Once I asked this chick to come study wif me in the state's library. She at first declined saying that her mum rather have her study in the house coz her mum said it's better to study in the house than at a library. Yeah, most info can be found on the net now but wtf?! the library have tons of info from authoritative authors and is the wrong place to study?! Oh, sure, that's if your own house has a library that matches up with the STATE's Library. My point is that sometimes this protectiveness of the parents are irrational. They justify it so that it seems to be in your own interests but really half the time what parents do just serve their own interests. You know what, you should try again and again and try to convince your parents that what they are doing might be bad for you. Dont chuck at spak, at first that is, and reason wif them first, if once doesnt work, try 4times. THEN if your parents are still being idiots, then start chucking a spak like disobey some of their orders. I know it's bad to encourage tis but it sometimes work. Anyways, you know that actor who play Dr. Doom in FF4? his father used to be the prime minister of Australia and so naturally he wanted his son to study politics. but it wasnt the son's dream and he went to LA to start acting. Point being that despite what your parents want of you, you have to follow your own path. IF your path you want so happens to be same as your parents, fine, go wif it. But if not, forge your own and disregard wht your parents wish. Coz sometimes parents are the biggest hypocrites of them all. They say they do this and that and want this and that from you because it's for your own good, but as I said, half the time they asks things of you for their own good. coz then they can boast to their friends later on saying how their son or daughter went to this and that prestige school and what great degree they have and how much money they earn in their great job. They gave you life so it's natural they want something back, but sometimes the parents become too narrowminded and stifle your chance to grow. |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
well said. in answering your question, no, my parents are polish, not asian. but you are basolutly correct. my parents overprotectiveness is hurting my social life. unfortunatly, my parents cannot be reasond with. they are absolutly deadset on the idea that there way is the best and ONLY way for me to live. they dont like it when i try to break free. so they keep adding more chains (figurativly speeking) pritty soon, they say they will put a lock on my door! i CANNOT live like this!!! how can i be happy when i am stuck in this house? how can i be happy if i cannot talk to anyone? how can i be social when i cannot leave this place? its the sad truth of my existance...hm, and people ask me "Why are you so depressed?" |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
I dont think you cant just talk to your parents and reason with them. If you want to leave the house some time just sneak out. Learn to lie, lieing is very useful, my most used stradegy. Or seriously go berserk and start breaking things in your house and lay down some demands. The more chains that are added, the more you should struggle, if you can over power the chains eventually you will break free. You got alot to gain, little to loose. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The depression thread
Link |
by Chick-yasha
on 2005-08-21 19:42:09
|
|
jomunga you idea sounds good. But if it back fires on you then they might take stuff away if you did that kind of things as you sugested. Like there could be one or more of this happening: no TV; no VHS player; no DVD player; no Play station & other such games; no Comics; no Anime; no Manga; no Books (besides school ones); no Computer; no Telephone; all contact w/ friends go by by; no CD player; no MP3 player; all music go by by; no games; no cards; looked in your room; no snacks; no money at all; no car; no GF; no extra stuff in your room besides school work, bed, outfits they choosen, & a desk of school work; they even might put a person who would desroy stuff in the house & do other suck rebelling in a youth center type schooling! Ever hear of milltary school! That is what 'go berserk' will get you. There is still alot to lose. I know I don't know how you feel b/c I was raised w/ a mom & dad who cares for me & don't luck me in the house & expected all A+ from me. But I do know how it feels to be pick on in school for things you can't control. & having that happen sense before I was even in first grade has taught me many things, one of which is don't treat other like trash just b/c they treat you like trash. B/c they your worst then they are. B/c you know how in feels to be treated like trash. I'm not trying to scream & flame you jomunga, but think about how doing that could come out on both sides. Yes it would be great to get the freedom you want, but if you are online here & can watch anime & do some other things. Just think of how it could be to have everything taken away? B/c breaking stuff is a one way ticket to a youth center & some stricked school for bad teenagers. I have been talking to nightmare online & he told me this before "However, I can never go outside. My mother wont let me. She seems to believe that if I leave the house, ill go get drunk, or stoned, or get a girl pregnant. She seems to forget that I am not one of those kids on TV." & if he did go berserk they he will be just like those kids on tv. So I don't think you idea is the right one to use. But it is great to have somebody try & help another out in a time of need. Sorry nightmare for inserting part of one of your emails you sent me.
Never date a guy stranger than you. If so, make sure he's loaded.
|
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
I agree with you. for the most part dont do what I did. It may have worked for me but if you try it and lose there are pelnaties. This I just recommended to nightmare because his life is already hell and has little to lose. This stradegy is dangerous but if it works the outcome is great. I did this because they tried taking everything away from me, its really a last resort. Jomunga eats your avatars. |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
Oh my... I read all the posts and I suddenly became depressed... is everyone on this thread male? I mean, are you guys for real? I'm quite surprised to find out that not all guys like "sexy" girls... And all the talk about relationships made me curious... My relationship with my parents have always been ok... Guess I'm lucky... My boyfriend and I are not exactly "legal"... Our parents don't know... We've been together for more than 2 years and things aren't always ok between the 2 of us... Life can NEVER be exactly what we want it to be... sneaking out or lying can get you into worse trouble, believe me... 
Angels are falling from heaven |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
I came on this thread, reading from the very beginning, thinking: "Now, this is new. A thread. Just for DEPRESSION." I read more of Nightmare's and other various posts made by others. I still had the same thought in my head: "God, people, TRY and get over it. DO something about it. STOP thinking about what depresses you." ...Needless to say, I semi-think that. I'm someone that most people would count as "depressed". A few of my friends urge me to see a certified psychologist for they fear that I have a "borderline psychosis" personality disorder. I tend to get homicidal and suicidal, and my friends extract jokes from it. "You're such a fireball of hatred, ready to go KILL someone?" "Don't mind her; she's always suicidal." I love my friends, but it's just those parts that really do make me go: "Hmm, yeah. I actually AM ready to go kill someone. I suggest getting your homework done today." Although, I'm a really nice person... deep, deep down. Which brings me to the point that Nightmare and Jomunga were talking about: Today's Teenage Girls. Now, I'm 14, so you are all probably thinking now: "Here we go, another person who doesn't know a single thing." ...I'll deal with that later. Anyways, back to the other teenage girls. They disgust me. They're scum. I hate it that I'm grouped with them. I came from a Catholic school and graduated from a class of 13 girls. About 10 of them are the kindest, funniest girls I'll ever meet. They have such good morals and those are the same girls that have kept me from going over the deep end. So, yes, the "good" girls still exist in this world. I promise. They're all bloody fantastic, and they're like my sisters. But, I really am tired and sick of the whole "slut/whore" girl thing. God, I hate it when my cousins, who are about 6 or 5 years younger than me, show up at family parties in a mini-skirt and halter top. While I'm there in my jeans and custom Weiss Kreuz t-shirt. x) On a random note, I love Weiss Kreuz oh so very much. Anyways, yeah... I really do hate them. ==;;; I'm so happy not too many of my friends aren't like that. They're so modest... As for grades... Meh, my parents are both full Filipino and I'm the youngest of 5 kids. I get enough pressure, if not from my friends. They're always getting great grades and whatnot. Having their parents praise them. I don't blame them; my friends are intelligent. But, having my parents saying to my face that they'd rather have one of my friends as their daughter is just plain... urgh. And then having my mom constantly comparing me to my other cousins. I mean, isn't doing my own laundry, mostly cooking my own food, and applying and registering for high on my own ENOUGH? How can I possibly compare with my straight A's cousin though?! Dear LORD... Yes, my religion is the ONLY thing that's keeping me from going "homicidal" on people. I've been out of contact with my friends the entire summer and the high I'm going to is a place where I know NO ONE. Well, actually, my friend, Brandi, is going. But, I doubt she'd want to hang out with me. But yes, this isn't everything from my pathetic little life. Drawing is my sedative. Anime calms my anger. Anime music is my escape. When you love someone, you want them to love you back. Not get all pissy on you for stupid reasons and then lie to you about cheating on you. Basically, love can suck. For the most part, it's really nice. ~Ookami I'm currently hoping that I won't get pushed outta here. XD |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
long posts... makes me dizzy... @_@
Angels are falling from heaven |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
at least you guys can have some sort of release here in gendou...
Angels are falling from heaven |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
|
Where do you live by the way nightmare? If you cant reason with your parents, perhaps you can talk to your teacher about your parent's overprotectiveness? Your parents probably dont want to listen to you coz they think you are an idiot or something and dont understand jackall but I'm sure they would listen to your teachers, even if they dont change at least your view would be heard. After a while, act all depressive (I mean really depress) since chucking a spak wont work. Try doing this til they have to ask you what's the matter wif you then the time comes to talk to them. But Lucian, some of your stuff are quite right though. Anyways Nightmare, do try to hang in there since you are still quite young, if you are 22 like me and still in your situation then that's a BIG PROBLEM. You know, I'm still depressed 70% of the time. They come and go. So I can understand how those of you here that are quite depress feels. Life is a cake that is full of shit until you find the nice, sweet piece of whateva you like. But once you got that, there rest is shit again til you find the next sweet treasure. But at least once you find the 1st sweet thing then you can savour the taste and remember it as you sift through the rest of the shit til you find the next sweet. |
|
Re: The depression thread
|
| btw, your parents threatening with putting a lock on your door, that's like against human rights, tell your parents that. It's a human right not to be imprisoned without a rational reason. That is by international law can you define if a reason is rational. |