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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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*thumbs up for itachix XD* The story is always about saving the world... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by Ravensender
on 2006-07-17 10:49:40 (edited 2006-07-17 12:49:32)
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If the story isn't about saving the world, it's about saving the galaxy, universe, existence, etc. Items such as antidotes work on party members on the other side of the screen when they're thorwn into the air.
The end of the weekend is something that's inevitable... Like a test. Or the Apocalypse.
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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Whenever you kill s*** you always get s***. Also the more powerfull the creature the less effective the item EXAMPLE: Kill a hellhound to get a fire ring. Kill a semi-omnipitant dragon to get a potion. Kill a baby squirrel to get an omni-weapon.  |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-17 12:51:59 |
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monsters drop money...i've always wondered where these monsters gets so much cash. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-17 18:36:24 (edited 2006-07-17 19:59:29)
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RPG world is dangerous, very dangerous. The folowing household items and everyday objects will try to murder you in RPG world: pots flying swords and guns pogo Sticks treasure chests a giant ring?!? (saga frontier) And somehow, the food chain was thrown out of whack, resulting in murderous, man-hunting: squirels rats cats dogs roaches beetles spiders crabs lobsters eagles giant praying mantisies LOTS of bats And finnaly, I have no explanation for the evil: trees clouds floating heads walls?!? I've seen all these enemies in RPGs. When did the enemies become so lame? I can understand the need for originality, but was in neccessary to have a bloodthirsty lobster? The lesson here? KILL EVERYTHING!!! Spare nothing, even your alarm clock could try to kill you while you sleep... FURTHERMORE Gods declare, the RPG boss music heirarchy! DUH DUH DUHNHNHNH!! Battle normal enemies: Kind of good to good 1st Boss: Kick ass Major boss: Kick ass to the second power Battling an old freind: Either the major boss music or a sad song Final Boss: Completly different level of ass-kicking, or the "seraphim" tunes with angelic choruses, orchastras, and Omen singers And the final boss is either a big monster or an angelic dude. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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Final bosses always seem to have an attack in which the entire solar system is warped out of order/destroyed (ie. Supernova, Great Attractor, Grand Cross, etc). Even when there are attacks that would logically completely obliterate your characters, they come out completely unscathed and with simply a loss in health...hmmm. In many dungeons there are bizaare and enormous creatures that really have no business being there at all and really make you wonder how the hell did they get there in the first place. Once physical attacks become powerful enough, attack magic really becomes an irrelevent waste. There is always a creature in an RPG that is unusually adorable but has an unusual longing to kill you, even for an enemy. (ie. Cactuar, Rainboy Bird, Evil Moogle, etc.) The actual reward for defeating a super boss is almost never worth the effort it took to actually defeat the super boss. There always seems to be an unusually stupid/unnorthodox character in every RPG party (ie. Quinna, Yangus, Cait Sith).
You need a reason to be sad. You don't need a reason to be happy. The secret to happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible.
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-20 01:19:08 |
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on some games,when a character(lv 10) equips a weapon,the damage is prettly low...but when the same character unequips the weapon and attacked with his bare hand,he can do a 4 digit damage... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-22 12:18:44 (edited 2006-07-22 12:19:57)
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STUPID NPCs!!! People in RPG world are so stupid. You ALWAYS meet these stupid NPCs, or non playable characters: The young guy and girl that like each other. Sometimes they need YOUR HELP to hook up. Often times, the guy will just be stalking this girl but can't tell her his real feelings, and since they are NPCs it can't get too dramatic, at least not enough for you to care. In the end, the girl will fall for him as if she had no will of her own. I'm on a mission to save the world! The kids playing a game. It can be "let's-stand-here-staring-at-each-other-all-day-until-a-grown-man-challenges-us-jumprope" or chasing each other for HOURS around the same house all day. The busy person who "has no time for you" even though he doesn't appear to know what he is doing in the first place. The idiot gaurds! These morons are gaurding the most important people in the world and end up falling asleep, or even arguing with each other while teenagers are breaking into the castle! Also, they end up getting their asses kicked by said teenagers. And somehow, all the NPCs look exactly the same all over the entire world, except in a few crazy towns that dared to break the rules. And watch out for NPCs with names or who look incredibly different, this is problaby a future party member or an important person. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by Reichstadt
on 2006-07-23 06:43:20
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Waters from caves, dungeons, mountains etc recovers HP/MP [yuckkkkk......]
"What are you looking at? You like this? This is what you want right? Oh come on...don't lie..Look around, there are lots of unfinished job for you........If I have the authority, I won't abuse it...its just not right and you know it. What? you dont know? I pity you...." -Çß R...
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-26 00:05:34 (edited 2006-07-27 11:11:27)
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Elf women are hot. VERY HOT. What? You dare to question my wisdom? Then observe: SMACK IT REAL GOOD!! The dark elves are always tan too, and even though dark elf men are ugly, the women look like Spanish Porn Stars! And light elf men are all effeminate weirdos, no wonder elven women fall head over heels for any human guy that comes by! And what is with the circlets everyone is wearing? Even Cecil (FF4) had one on! And why do elves hate dwarves all the time (reverse is true too)? It's like RPG racism! Stop the hate, people, and propagate! |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
 the 'papermaster'
on 2006-07-26 00:12:54 |
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WTF?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHHA thats one funny pic, eh? another paradox - in the field screen(liek a town) your character cant jump, but in a FMV scene, theyre pulling off flips liek the 'Matrix' |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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I don't know if that picture is sexy or strange...I'm gonna go with sexy. For some reason, you can steal some of the strongest weapons around from some of the most unusual monsters (unusual in that you wonder why/how the hell they can carry such a weapon in the first place.) On Dragon Quest VIII you can steal a massive war hammer from a rabbit. In a lot of RPGs, if the main villian is human and male, while they may be very evil they tend to look/dress very effeminitely. Some of them I thought were downright transvestites. (Examples: Kuja, Kefka, Sephiroth, Seymour, Doulmagus, Magus) An exception would be Luca Blight from Suikoden II who looked just as baddass and evil as he actually was.
You need a reason to be sad. You don't need a reason to be happy. The secret to happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible.
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-27 21:51:09
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Luca Blight! He made Kefka look like a nice guy! Two words: "Die, pig!" All RPGs worlds are held in balance by 8 stones, or 8 crysatls, or 8 dragons, or 8 swords, or 8 temples, or... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by zparticus27
on 2006-08-12 01:15:44
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most rpg heroes are just ordinary teens that are the strongest bunch in the intire world (squall,cloud etc...)...while some rpg's have you playing as a strong god like hero that can be killed by little insects and worms...(looks at the dbz rpg) also heroes are always weak at the beginning and is a goody-goody that they do errands for morons!hehehehe and how come these bad guys reveal s thier secret plot to captured heroes instead of killing them outright... and towns and cities are only a handful and usually so far that you have to cross mountains and rivers making travel difficult yet npcs travel instantly.(teach me teleport!) summons usually are strong beings but are tamed by a level 10 hero...hehehe and most summon attacks looks so deadly but does puny damage... there's always secrets in "mysterious" caves... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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The hero's true love is almost invariably a spineless girly girl with know will of her own. Just a comment: Have you noticed that the character designers for Final Fantasy have an unexplained fetish for belts and zippers? When I make games 60% of the characters are gonna have cargo clothing as per my strange obsession. |