Re: Post-A-Poem
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Umm... I'm not so sure what the hell that means but I liked it... Here are a few from me, non-emo. Tell us what you think... -To Late (To Abort) 19...18...17 Help me. Help me to fight back Help me figure out my identity. It's the revolution that thing that gives me validity. Living life is hard when you only live to resist. I hope my rebelion labels me an anarchist. I want to prove that I'm alive to write off what I feel inside. You add fuel tomy drive and make me resist so I know I'm alive 4...3...2 I am some ...1. (Untitled) I can't be classified, so now I am the enemy. I have no doubt, I'm hated by society. What's reall overrated is our worship of conformity. I'll try to stand out and you'll try to label me. -Unwell Quater past three I'm alone in my room. Walls padded thick like a rubber lined tomb. I think I'm loosing my mind All this has happened to soon. They say "How do you feel?" I say "I'm not in the mood." Been four years since they locked me away for my own good. At least that's what they say. I know something is wrong, I know I'm not OK, In my padded cell, I'm slowly wasting away. |
Re: Post-A-Poem
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by YoYotheCananbalisticOreo
on 2006-05-09 22:58:35
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here is something i wrote after 2 years of not. please tell me what you think its about! Crazy Salmon Floppin’ like a fish and flippin’ like a twit, Why do you flounder when you see your reflection, Skewed ever so slightly in the surface? Aiming to the stars quick Yet hugging the earthen base, You glow golden bright like an alien in spacious night And in the dark depths of sea’s hidden face. Sometimes you are caught drowning in air But you, dare I say, bite annoyingly yet with grace Wiggling free, thinking with little care, “Silly humans, I won’t be another bag of fish, just dare!†Rarely do you blend in with any other Despite being just as light as most, Assimilation is far from complete when you’re the majority. You’re better mixed with others along the coast. Almost on queue, you disrupt serenity With your sudden reintroduction. Yet, all is well since you’re the crazy salmon.
I could give no less because I could give no more. ~myself
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I don't mind you plagarizing my work Sky, you're my best critic. Actually, The News is about her. I wrote it after I got off the phone with her the other day. She told me she got accepted to a cullinary school in Vermont and would be moving up there after a year. The poem tries to reflect the fact that although I'm pleased she is pursuing that which makes her happy, my own feelings are affected in ways I don't understand. And in case you were wondering, I never display emotions around my friends. I keep them all to myself, sometimes I write about them, but I never show them. That would be a burden. |
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The News has some sort of sad mod in it. It's nice although coming from you it sounds weird. Don't take it as offense, it's just that you don't seem like the type of guy who shows their feelings. Now, I have to ask: Does this in anyway have something to do with HER? In case your wondering why I ask, I think you should know that you are starting to sound as if you cared less. I am going to plagarize it. I could so repeat the last lines to him ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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-Hitchhiking to Babylon I awoke to the smell of the sea. The driver and highway were gone. Left all alone an old dock the sea foam and the gulls who cried their mid-morning song. Along limped a beggar, a stragally stranger all wrinkled and weathered with age. And the look in his eyes seemed far away and yet wise as he stared at the heart of the sun. "The burn heals the pain caused by memories of the rain and the girl with no name I'm cursed to love and disdain for the perfection of her eyes brillinat blue." Spoke he, staring right past me looking to where sea touched the sky. I looked at the beggar and thought aloud "Why hold on to memories that cause pain?" He stared with those eyes saying "I'll tell you why it's proof I was ever alive." "I'll tell you my friend" he spoke once again "That I once searched for Babylon and all of the knowlede and wealth that I found were worht nought when my dreams ran aground. I waiot by the sea at brilliant daylight and wait for the time my dreams will return to me and I set my mind to rights." I turned away back ont the road of my fate and the beggar just stood with his head in the air. I was nearly gone when he said to hold on and asked: "Can ye spare a brother some change?" And though I hate doubling up on Bablyon, I can't double post... -The News What do you call it when you feel like a part of you has died? Why don't I feel happy anymore? This dicontentment tears me apart inside Yet, no tears nor laughter come. I fell rather cold, a hallow clentching in my chest This pain is worse than trivial andI fell I must forget What is this feeling? Like time has slowly struck away my good fortune left my own heart dead with my own dismay Dreams are swiftly shattered hopes give wat to doubt. And all the time I wonder how I'm going to live without seeing you. Knowing your around Hopeing you would stand by me when my life comes falling down. But you have to live your own life unburdened and free. So to show how much I love you, I'll bear this misery. Any commetns are good comments. |
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Well, they are good (My Escape is better than Alone) and they are not as dark as the previous ones. You have just proved that you are indeed a good writter. (Only if you actually wrote them). *Waits for Babylon 3* ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Here's two for ye. And Babylon 3 will be up later tonight. Alone I've got a dead end job, I've got a comrade. I've got a past I want to forget. I've got a friend she calls me a con man though I haven't fooled her yet. I've got a problem, it's a head packed with lies And I've used 'em all I bet. But she knows I have nowhere else to go And she knows how I love her so. And she knows how I want to stay her friend and never stand alone again. -My Escape I had a dream the other night while I was wide awake. I need to get the hell out, Can't you be my escape? I think the real world's slowly closing in I want to have that dream again. It was a chance for me to see you With me by your side and you my get away. I'll try to dream again tonight however long it takes To see you in my dreams and have you help me escape. What'd ye reckon? |
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Let me give you an example of what I mean: -Friendship You have to look for it, but not with your eyes, You have to buy it, but not with money, You have to keep it safe, but from yourself, If you ever find it, consider yourself lucky And, if it's worth it, never let it go. See the difference between yours and mine (besides the quality)? Edit: Atomic heart meltdown is really good. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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-Atomic Heart Meltdown My personal genocide, my red button retreat My number is 265, radiate moral defeat. Old soviet silos and dirty suitcase bombs, A one man Chernobly an Island three miles long Missles form Norht Korea, We drop the bomb It's nuclear winter, society is gone! I love atom bombs, they put the fear of God in me. I love atom bombs, now at night I'm glowing green I love atom bombs, a self fufilling prophecy I love atom bombs and we wiped out humanity. They say the kids got poisoned, 'fore they died The government had reasons, but never explained why. UN bitches we shouldn't have'em any more Then the reactor blew in the plant next door. I love atom bombs, the bane of society I love atom bombs, the government's ignoring me I love atom bombs a self fufilling prophecy I love atom boms so we wipe dout humanity. (pause) I love atom bombs, they put the fear of god in me. I love atom bombs, now at night I'm glowing green. I love atom bombs a self fuffilling prophecy. I love atom bombs and we wiped out HUMANITY! |
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Post it and then I can say if it counts or not. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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I wrote a satrical song about nuclear weapons when Bush was going to declare war on North Korea. Does that count? I'll post it if you say yes. |
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And that's a good thing. Your writings are quiet good actually. I'm not telling you to change your style, I'm telling you to test your writting ability by trying something new. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Look, I can't help it. I'm an existentialist. I see pain and injustice masked by society and write about what I see. Babylon may not be the best example, but Prom Night is like bloody Doctor Suese compared to my other work... |
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Come on, Babylon is not happy. I mean write something that gives hope and illusion and whatever positive thing you can come up with. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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What do youthink Babylon is? For me, that is happy. Or the one I wrote about the sunrise... well, ok. Maybe not that one. By my standards Prom Night is actually light hearted... |
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Okee thanks ^_^
woot
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Wait a minute, SHE's an ex? You know, Doc, maybe it's time for a change of heart. Try to write something happy. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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@Schala It's on the previous page I think, take a look. @Sky Well, that's debatable I guess. I mean eventually she went back inside and I went across the street to the gamers cafe. But yeah. Could be. If I do ever get back together with her though, I won't be able to write any more. What good is art without angst? |
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ooh ohh ohh, I actually have something from my lil sis (well she is actually jsut a very good friend, but she is like a lil sis) This is at the dedication pages kinda of my book. Writing a book is like putting together a puzzle. You know how it will turn out but you don’t know how to get there. Go Roxas' Girl ^_~
woot
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So there is hope with HER after all. Or am I wrong? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |