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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-12 09:20:08 |
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when the final boss deals a 9999 hp damage to you,you died.but when you deal a 9999hp damage to the boss,he's still standing... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-13 20:16:52 (edited 2006-07-13 20:22:30)
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Shops in RPGs are like the black market for insane clown murderers. The town could also be in the middle of the desert, but instead of selling water and food, they will sell weapons! Not just anyone weapons, but horrible weapons based on everyday items and toys, only fit for murdering clown barbarians, these weapons are up to and including: cards, dice, darts, fans, boomerangs (Breath of Fire), yo-yos (Earthbound), megaphones (FF7), books (FF Tactics), and even rings that can deal damage- for those who want a concealed weapon. So, if these weapons can kill slimes and dragons, they can harm humans easily. Can you imagine a gang of kids in RPG world robbing you at book point, or decapitating you from a distance with their razor boomerang? Presumably, these shops are in business because they are selling their weapons. How long will it be before someone becomes the Yo-yo Strangler? Then RPG government will put a ban on all yo-yo sales, or at least a 5-day waiting period... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-14 07:47:58 |
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in battle,when your character got tackled by a huge monster,he/she wasn't pushed back.but when not in battle,the character got pushed back quite far when a kid bumped on him,or someone opened the door and accidently hits him,or got slapped by someone... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-14 12:43:11 (edited 2006-07-14 12:44:04)
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Worthless? But it can summon a dragon for free! The Gods of RPGs hearby declare: To create a balance in the unstable economy of RPG world, the most powerful equipment in the game will only sell for 1 GP. "It can summon a dragon or the spirits of Camelot, it's embedded with 1000s year old crystals and gemstones, and it even has a cool name (Sceptor of the Final Justice, Goddess Tear Stone, Right of Dragonlords Sword)." And it's one of a kind, but somehow, defying all logic, it's worth less than the minimal wepons that you shelled out with your allowance back before you started this damn journey. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by humblemonkey
on 2006-07-14 13:09:39
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| The Gods of RPGs hearby declare: 50% of all RPG heros will have really bad amnesia, but will still know how to operate their bodies and fight. Note that this does not nessisarily mean they also know how to talk. ;) |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-14 13:26:16
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And if your hero has a sequel, he or she will forget everything they knew before. It's as if whomping their cute girlfreinds since the quest ended has put them back to the level of a weak teenager. But there was no excuse for Yuna, she had no one to whomp! What happened to that Holy magic I got for you, Yunie? |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by humblemonkey
on 2006-07-14 18:05:25
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^ Dont be too sure of that, she got a lot more frisky in the 2nd one... <_< The Gods of RPGs hearby declare: The population of most RPG worlds is extremely small. Most towns will have less than 15 houses, and very few cities owns a (visible) population of over 100. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-15 02:22:54 |
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while in battle,you can only attack when your ATB(or something similar)is full.but outside of battle,especially in a fight scene,you can all attack at once |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by Ravensender
on 2006-07-15 06:54:54
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The Gods of RPGs declare: If someone from the party of legendary heroes dies or leaves, that no more than 3 towns away, will they encounter someone even better with the same moves and abilities. They also declared that even though the heroes are working towards saving the world, every shop is too greedy to not give them supplies for free (not even a discount).
The end of the weekend is something that's inevitable... Like a test. Or the Apocalypse.
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by humblemonkey
on 2006-07-15 09:57:10
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| The Gods of RPGs declare: Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story. |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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You now what? Recent RPGs is getting realistic everday....NOT!! How come the whole party never changes clothes!! If they could, then you just enter the menu choose the clothes and TADA! They changed clothes EVEN when they're currentl in the middle of the town and no one protest them for changing in front of the public! Not to mention RPG characters never take a bath except when it's a part of the scenario. Sure they rest at the inn but we don't know for sure if they als took a bath in the inn, not to mention IS THERE ANY BATHROOMSIN THE INN? |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-15 23:55:45 (edited 2006-07-16 00:04:15)
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The most powerful villain hired...the three stooges? Ever noticed that game villains always hire their crazy two to three lackeys, they are always imcompetent, and end up bumbling the Evil Master's well laid plans, which he was planning for sometimes THOUSANDS of years. And instead of extractng info via Gitmo style torture, they blurt out there plans easily, sometimes right in front of you, without a fight! And one of them will say, "nice going idiot! Da boss is gonna be mad!". And they will be given a second chance! Even more! They usually appear as the skinny guy, the punkish evil chick, and the big guy... You encounter these motherf***ers multiple times and they ALWAYS escape even though they usually drop valuable equipment (another oversight). But at the end they may realize they are on the wrong side, and guess what, decide to back out before you can kill them; but somehow they still do that in a lame way... But sometimes, they can redeem themselves with the "All out" tactic, the last hope for lame RPG characters, where they go all out, and show their "True Power" and real feelings. This can result in insanely cool battles, since you hate them so much. Unfortunatley for "da boss", they didn't do this earlier... However, don't confuse these guys with the "Bad Ass Four", no matter what game, if you have a set of four villains, they will kick ass! They will ussually have some kind of power, like the elements, evil spirit, or well-sparsed techniques for evil balance. Bow down to the power of four, b****! The Gods Declare!! And don't even THINK of f***ing with the Eight Omnipotent Villains! 4 X 2 owns! |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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In the final sequence before the final battle the Big Bad Boss will give an 1-hour-explanation why is he doing all this, that, besides the fact that it alvays contains unfortunate childhood, actually makes sense and logic. But than main character (preferrably with spiky hair) will say : "No, you are wrong!", or : "We'll see that in a fight!" and then the fight starts. When the Main villain dies, he always says something like : "NOOOOOO, I CAN'T BE BEATEN BY THE MERE HUMAN; AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
Beaver - the most dangerous animal known to man!
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-16 07:57:54 |
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characters can jump over tall ledges...but they can't jump over a log... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by i_want_to_flirt_with_drunk_sango
on 2006-07-16 13:09:29 (edited 2006-07-16 13:26:21)
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Characters with magic are usually incredibly stupid in the story, despite weilding powers that defy the cosmic balance and break every law and theory of astrophysics, these magicians are among the most dopey and imcompetent characters, even though their stats say they have the highest intelligence. These "wizards" sneeze and end up teleporting miles away on accident, burning down houses with level one fire spells that could have I bought with my hero's allowance, and even turning into animals on accident! And how can one wizard lose to several knights at a time? Isn't level one fire equal to a flamethrower? And level three appears to have the destructive force of napalm! And with IQ that high, should'nt THEY be leading the party, not the fighter with almost no INT or WIS pts.? Speaking of which, in a paradoxial world of imcompetent magicians, you have to asume that anything magical is screwed up in some way, so the reverse is always true: 1.Insignificant crystals and lady's hair accessories have more power than you can possibly imagine (FF7). 2.Cats are dragons, dragons are cats (Lunar, I think). 3.Trees are smart, smarter than you BY FAR, even though they have no brains (Breath of Fires, Secret of Mana, many other RPGs). |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
on 2006-07-17 07:12:51 |
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(FF reference)whenever you summon a monster,it'll cause a huge explosion that could even destroy a whole country,but somehow...the surrounding areas weren't even scratched.... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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NPCs are always retards, they say the same thing all the time, that's for sure... The magic "thunder" is usually big enough only to strike one enemy while real thunders can stun a bunch of people nearby... Thunders are huge you know... There's always a party of heroes... I've never heard of an RPG which there's only one playable character... |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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There will always be side quests, and only half of the time do they provide you with some worthwile item/weapon.  |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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| I forgot to mention... Secret bosses are usually much much much much much stronger than the last boss... FFX's Penance, anyone?? T_T |
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Re: Shishio's Funny RPG Cliches and Paradoxes!
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by
 イタãƒX
on 2006-07-17 09:56:28 |
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*swats penance off with a flyswatter* ...once you get spells that cure poison and such, you will NEVER need use the recovery item that wouldve cured that same status ailment again [unless youre bored]... |