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I understand that even if a character looks 9, she's really 18 with a growth hormone disorder

I understand that all characters depicted are engaging in consensual acts

I understand that all depicted animals engaging in sexual acts with humans are actually animatronic puppets

I understand that all animatronic puppets seen here are at least 18 years of age

I like big butts and I cannot lie

I have a lovely box of chocolates

I am not, nor have I ever been a member of PETA, MADD, or staff on Dateline's To Catch A Predator

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I am an organ doner

I like cheese

I like cheese-its

I just peed orange soda, David Blaine