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Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by garowthunder
on 2009-08-20 12:27:00
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Well I have been watching anime for a long time and when it comes to the romance genre anime i had mad a conclusion. In japan a kiss is a very serious matter. I'm an asian and I was rised in old chinese manners. But in the western world through what i have seen through media and the world around me, matters like Kissing, sex and love... Sorry for saying it so blunt but though my opinion... the most western people those matters are crap. I mean through what i see on movies and hear from friends you can kiss who the hell you want even thinking about it, sleeping with somerandom person etc, etc. Like the girls in my class has around 7 ex boyfriends and thats way to much of my opinion. It's like after you have broke up with someone you like find a new on two, three days! I would never even think of doing that. In China and Japan even holding hands is a very hard thing... well it's kinda normal in anime though... Just even think about a indirect kiss is... uh. In my family a kiss is a promise of that you always will be by ones side... seems not to others... well how is it for you guys? Are you like my classmates? is my opinion on western people right? plz prove me wrong! You are welcome to call me gay or laugh at me if you want to but I don't care, Asian people don't think like that. |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2009-08-20 13:07:55 |
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It's just a matter of cultural differences, there isn't really any other way to describe it. Different parenting ways, different social outlooks on romance, that kind of thing. Your opinion is correct in a sense, as for the most part that's how things work over here, but it's not always the way it works. Plenty of girls and guys (both in High School and later in life) are more conservative and take their time with romance or building a love relationship, and then there are girls and guys who (as you mentioned) change boyfriends/girlfriends as often as they change their clothes. You can't really make judgments based upon what you see in media however, after all, media is basically what is influencing this behavior in the first place. By using that as a reference you build the wrong impression. Yes, relationships, kissing, sex, love, etc is taken more lightly in the Western world than it is in say Japan and China, but it's just how the cultures have come to be. Neither culture is 'wrong' in its ways (to a certain extend). On the one hand, I think that girls and guys in the Western nations tend to take love for granted and it doesn't mean as much as it used to or in other places. High School is a time for example where you are almost expected to have a girlfriend/boyfriend or to go on dates. On the other hand, I think things such as kissing on the cheek, holding hands, hugging, and so on are just innocent gestures of affection and shouldn't be looked at as being reserved only for serious relationships. I'm not explaining this as well as I would like to.    |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2009-08-20 19:12:55 |
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Calling you gay would be incorrect, but don't categorize "asians" together like that. A lot of asian-americans are like your view on westerners when it comes to love, relationships, and sex. But you're right about asians in Japan, China, Korea, etc. That's very true, for the most part, and I prefer it that way personally. I don't really like "dating", but that'll be a whole different topic for another day. Jon's correct about it being cultural differences, and for the main part, that's basically it. In some nations, a kiss is almost like asking someone to marry you, and of course in America, a kiss can literally mean nothing. It's just different where you're from. I mean I've kissed girls and girls have kissed me and we're just friends, like tap kisses on the cheek and even lips. I know exactly where you're coming from though, but basically from what Jon said, it's just a matter of cultural differences. And yeah Jon, I can't really explain it to my fullest extent as well. XD 
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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Hint: Anime isn't real life.
If each mistake being made is a new one, then progress is being made.
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2009-08-21 05:18:04 |
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a good one. In here, Indonesia, we also have a cultural law that make even holding hands matters and kiss - of course - more than that. But because of globalization some people start doing those as common thing. I am agree with jon, it's maybe only something from western and east cultural different. Haoi:you should say more  |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
 
on 2009-08-24 03:04:28 (edited 2009-08-24 03:05:36)
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Westerners nowadays are so fupped up to media, kissing is just a flattery thing of fun, not seriousness. Even on the silverscreens, actors and actresses have to act out on kissing and sex scenes, even though they don't fancy each other in real life. Over here in Dublin, teenagers always fall into the falling in love thing, but they are just not serious. First they break up, then make up, then break up once the girlfriend got knocked up when she's 14, then make up once the baby is born. Sadly then, forever leaves the girlfriend and the baby when he's out of money to fund the family. What I'm saying is passionate kissing is just a fun flirty thing. I don't like PDA (public display of affection). It's gross and envious to watch. I know you guys are like so together touching hands and butts, sharing saliva while snogging--- ewwwh. If I fall in love, kissing should not be a prime point--- sharing the same interests and be caring towards each other should be true love, at least. Why are you calling yourself gay? xDDD |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2009-08-24 15:13:47 |
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as every one said it depends on the culture of ones place, and maybe depending on the type of kiss its self. yes there are different types of kiss. well some info I heard from my class mates from high school, or was that elementary. can't remember most of the names but I think there are friendly, lovers, flying and french kiss. well I can't say much about those who had multiple partners. probably trial and error. if you don't like that person it would be unlikely you would stay with him/her. though I find it strange that they could just jump in and out of a relation ship that fast. maybe they just don't want to be alone but can't find the right one. @Haoie anime is indeed not real life, but they are at times based on real life with a bit of exaggeration and twisted a little. |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2009-08-24 17:59:02 |
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Unfortunatly you are right about westerners (and this is comming from an american) though not everyone is like that. It is accepted to date as many people as you want especially when your young, kissing is like a hand shake, and sex is the new hug. This is almost encouraged for boys and only slightly frowned upon for girls. I actually belive relationship should be taken seriously. I try not to date a person unless i think its going to last. and that is considered weird for an American teen. 
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2009-08-27 23:08:32 |
One of my professors said that sex is becoming a mere ice breaker. It bothers me because I consider sex and kissing as indicators of a deep relationship between two people, not just stuff done to kill time.  |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2010-01-13 22:52:55 |
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well I wouldn't say a kiss is just a kiss I think it depends on the person who is kissing you to show how much they care or love you but to a few they just do it just to tease you or just to fun just to do something but to a couple of peoples point of view of Kiss "A Kiss is like a Vow" a vow you must never break if you were to stay together for a long time 
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2010-01-13 23:12:13 (edited 2010-01-13 23:12:41)
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well it depends in ur the way of thinking.. some may think of it as malice and others may think of it as a greeting or something.. but for girls, it means a lot to them.. especially the first kiss!!  |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
 
on 2010-02-03 12:34:41 |
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Like everyone above me said...it is a matter of culture and norms established in the country, city of where ever you live. In my case, I was born and raised in Peru, a western country, and I went to a private catholic high school, so to me...having a boyfriend was a BIG DEAL. Kissing in public was a huge no-no and SEX...well...Don't eve say that word... Either way, when I move to the US, I was beyond shocked. Culture here is different , but again it depends on each person, each family. I have friends who are 21, 22 and haven't had a boyfriend yet. No kissing, no nothing. I think you have to keep in mind that for some people kissing anyone is acceptable, sleeping around is acceptable, so I guess we just have to accept the way they think and not judge them based on our own beliefs. Same goes to stereotyping...you said "Asians" but not all Asians will think as you do. I personally, prefer to keep the beliefs I was raised with and so on, but I don't judge or point fingers at the people who differ from my views. I have tons of friends who fit the kind of people you were describing. So...to end my rant...I guess...it is a matter of where you were raised and under what environment, rules and norms you grew up with that will determine the way someone thinks about kissing, dating and having sex. |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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| Social issues aside it is the individual who decides what they are ready to commit to. Some people just are not emotionally open enough to display their affection. While others have a "need" to feel wanted. It's all just a part of growing up. From past experience you gain a new outlook on who you are as a person when you share yourself with someone else. Then again I, myself, did not delve into the frivolity of dating young. Whether or not you are going to be socially scrutinized by the people around you, do not shut off your heart. To listen to your heart is to remain true to yourself and, in the end, that's all that matters. |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2010-02-10 17:38:03 |
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I agree with Pame, it really does depend on your culture. In most American cultures, not all but most, it is generally seen as a big thing when you are able to kiss someone. I live in a rather old-fashion southern town so the formalities of the past are in action. You absolutely do not kiss in public! Although in High School that rule is always broken; I guess the youth feel differently. What I'm getting at is that in my culture kissing is reserved for the people you are on intimate relations with. (By intimate I mean like family, really close friends, or dating)  |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2010-02-11 02:55:36 |
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i think that it really depends on which society uve been raised up. some would tolerate Premarital Sex and the like. here in my place though, people are not so conservative and not so liberated. most of us are somewhere in the middle. i and my friends really freak out when gossips regarding someone losing her "virginity" starts to spread. Its not about being Asian or what, its a matter of the society and the people ur surrounded with. 
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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well, I'm whatcha call an asexual, so that may have something to do with my opinion, but I'm with the group that thinks a kiss is just a kiss. Don't misunderstand me though! Because of that I can't stand promiscuity and PDA's when I see them. Most kids around me at school believe the opposite, that a kiss ties people together, and that it somehow seals the deal, "Whoa, we totally gotta date now that it's official". =I <-- is my face seeing that. Romance and physical contact (more than cuddling) do not mix. Neither should determine the other. Don't let others get to you! Bah, but that's just a weirdo's opinion. |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2010-03-16 00:13:07 |
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I live in the US and have been raised around what you are talking about... people taking relationships too lightly, and not really meaning anything. As I got older the sex started to be included, but it still never meant as much as it should have. It became very casual and not romantic at all. I totally wish it wasnt this way here, but it seems most people dont really even notice. It has become normal, and publicly ok, so noone really says any different. This whole issue has been one of the major reasons for me having such a hard time in relationship. I do share your respect and meaning behind the kiss and beyond, and how much that should mean to a couple. Its a bond far greater than dinner for two, and it should be more carefully shared with someone you deeply care for. Not just a crush. I dont see that happening in the US anytime soon, but it could help a lot of young kids here learn a few things about romance that have been lost for the most part in the states.
"Life's simple. You make choices and you dont look back" "All that matters is knowing what you really want... and going after it"
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by ss4gogeta0
on 2010-03-22 01:53:35 (edited 2010-03-22 01:54:23)
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it breaks my heart seeing people go after women only for sex.... which is why i treat my Ke'arah like a woman should be treated... which i why kissing is more than just a normal thing.. it signifies our deep love for one another  |
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by
on 2010-03-22 05:56:13 |
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Ow... This thread is remind me about a anime that I rated bad, Is everyone have seen School Days (Anime Not the Comic, the comic isn't bad at all) It's very bad anime that view Japan High School into A Place with all bad attitude... >.< This anime so make me irritated...!! for me,, Kiss is very crimson things.. So for me, you must keep them until you meet people who your really love.. No other... The Only One For one people...!!! >o< No more..!! 
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Re: Is a kiss just a kiss?
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by Liesianthes
on 2010-03-30 23:29:09
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@TS for me i don't knw about the others. kiss is kinda sacred for me.. i will only give or accept a kiss if it's truly come from ur or my heart.. if not, sorry not interested i don't care even you are the most famous person in this world.. it's just my prnciple.. i admit in my 20 years of living in this world.. i have nver been kissed by a girl.. it's true.. and about to those persons getting a bf/gf in just a days.. it's still nothing compared to my gf ryt now... ahahaha,.. 40 boyfrnds in just a year... beat that.. she is also a 6th timer.. meaning 6 bf all at once.. and now she's even fooling me.. using her facebook as a dummy just to say her "fake love" to me... but in reality look at her ALL so sweet comments in friendster... i don't knw how many bf she has now in additional to me... but i can't get mad at her.. don't know why.. sorry it went off topic... my deepest apologies...
that's all height="50"
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