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Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-11-27 12:56:35 (edited 2007-11-27 13:28:59)
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I don't know if this would go in this area but here goes. I've been thinking about the term Slef-destructive when it comes to people cutting themselves and stuff. Whenever pepole talk about cutters they always say "self-destrutive behavior". And I don't think that fits right. Now right off the bat, when I say cuting and cutters I'm not talking about emo kids who cut themselves and try to show it off just so people will ask questions and then they can bitch about their lives to them. I'm talking about cutters like myself who use that to keep to hurting other people or doing much worse things to themselves. This sort of thing should not be called "self-destrutive". It's the only thing that has kept me sane all of these years. Most of the time if I don't.....well honestly I don't know what I would do. I'm not a habitual cutter as in I don't cut all the time or even at a certain time. I normally do it when things start to get real F-d up in my life. I can only speak for myslef but how many other people that do cut, if they were not allowed to do so would do much worse things to themselves or other people? Now things like Binge Drinking, drugs, etc. Those things ARE Self-destrutive. But I don't think cutting should be. Any arguments or comments would be apperciated.  
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-11-27 13:27:28 (edited 2007-11-27 13:29:28)
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Let us use, for the sake of argument, a made up character Sally. Sally has a stressful life: her health and body image are poor, school is difficult for her, her parents have problems and don't treat her will, her friends are shallow and sometimes mean to her, etc. She cuts on herself in attempt to take control of the pain in her life. Getting back to the question: Is cutting destructive? When Sally cuts on herself, her brain is engaging in a learned pattern of self management. Every time she practices this pattern, it becomes more and more automatic. The automatic response to escape reality into body focused activities is not healthy. It leads to attention problems and social isolation. A person who has to escape from difficult problems will be less able to hold a meaningful conversation, because at the first sign of conflict, they withdraw completely. Also, the cutter becomes socially isolated because they rely on themselves instead of others, and learn that rejecting others is the easiest way to deal with conflict. There are many other anecdotal situations in which this learned behavior results in an unhappy individual. Even if cutting leaves no visible scars on the body, the damage done to the brain is tremendous. The human mind is very adaptable. We learn what we practice. If we practice unhelpful skills, watching TV, playing mindless video games, or hating ourselves or other people, we BECOME those things. Luckily, we are given a conscious choice as to what patterns of thinking we will reenforce, and which we will abandon. For example, if we abandon irrational thinking, and reinforce logical thinking, we can do better at math (among other things). Similarly, if we abandon wallowing in self piety, and reinforce a "roll with the punches" attitude, we become a strong person, and have an easier time coping with stress. I am not at all suggesting that this is an easy thing to do. My argument is that his is how things work. Cutting is self-destructive because it is reinforcement of patterns of thinking that we would be best to abandon. Not to mention a waste of perfectly good red blood cells as well as your precious time. 
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by zparticus27
on 2007-11-27 20:54:09
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"Cutting is self-destructive because it is reinforcement of patterns of thinking that we would be best to abandon. Not to mention a waste of perfectly good red blood cells as well as your precious time." well said gendou ^^ really its like a twin edge sword...it helps you yet it hurts you >.< |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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on 2007-11-27 22:28:45 |
I too would have to agree with Mr. Gendou's opinion, albeit i myself probably also have a personality that is congruous to those he described in his post, i however do not partake in any such self-injurious behaviour and would advise you to try to find a less physically harmfull outlet for your escapism, for trying to transcend that mentallity is something that will take years no doubt, but you can start to make gains upon it in small steps.  |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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If you ask me, hurting yourself intentionally describes "self-destructive" pretty much, and that's what you're doing... I understand if it's keeping you from doing worse things, but it doesn't change the fact that it's self-destructive. Say, ever thought of doing something less painful than cutting yourself? Like Gendou said, it's a waste of blood, anyone can tell that it's bad. Maybe you can learn to blame everything on a stone and start cutting it. Who knows? You can actually be a good sculptor (okay, i'm just joking, but it's considerable, no? :D) At least you're not like my friend who cuts himself because the girl he likes already had a bf (this ever happened once when i didn't know him yet)... that day he called me when i'm half asleep and said "dude, i'm gonna kill myself" i said "uh huh" "i'm serious!" "i know" Then he hanged up. The next day he didn't show up. then the day after that i saw him in the hallway, arm full of cuts, and i asked without the slightest feeling of guilt, "still alive?" "yeah, i failed" "too bad" Geez that idiot... Sorry for the rants. Dark Stranger, i wish you good luck in life and that you'd be able to solve your problems, so you won't have to resort to cutting yourself anymore. ps: Please don't become like that friend of mine |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-01 10:55:58 |
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Thanks for the comments. I do understand what you said Gendou, about how it affects the brain but I'd have to disagree with you about how it making you have attetion problems and things like that. But like I said I can only speak for myslef and noone else. I've never used it to I guess "escape reality". Most of the time I just get pissed off at everything and I can't take it out on people or objects cuz 1. I can't just punch the crap outta people. and 2. I shouldn't damage any of my property or my apartment. I've normally just done it to myslef and gotten on with my life. But anyway thanks for the comments and Gendou I'd like to see where you got those staticites about how cutting affects your brain and such.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
 
on 2007-12-06 02:05:35 |
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Cutting can damage your brain, there's nothing to find out about! It's common sense! Your brain cannot function properly due to loss of blood, thus degrading your physical health. Not just that, your thoughts over self-harming puts a lot of pressure to yourself, that also can corrode your mental health. Damaging physical and mental health at the same time = uber destructive. I do read your opinion on cutting that it does not have to be a thing of self-destruction. I do know few friends in my past and they adore the idea of cutting themselves which is not to destroy themselves, but a thing of fetish. Do you see cutting as an interesting activity? After what you said, it keeps you 'sane' for years. I just can't understand that idea. I truly adore one of Gendou's opinion in this thread which is: "if we abandon wallowing in self piety, and reinforce a "roll with the punches" attitude, we become a strong person, and have an easier time coping with stress." Come on, it's better to kick the self-harming habit off you. I know you love your mind, body and soul~ but these harmful acts should not be a thing of justice to adjust your life. |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-06 09:33:28 |
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No I don't see it as interesting. It just keeps me from doing worse things. Like destroying property or hurting other people. And I'm not talking about cutting to where you would actually lose too much blood. I only cut the top of my arms never my wrists or anything like that. It's also not out of slef pity. It's more like rage control so that I can go back to living my life. That's what I mean by keeping me sane. I don't know where i'd be if I didn't do it. Proablly in a worse place.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-07 10:00:31 |
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Ewh, dude. Sorry to say, cutting your arms wherever you find fancy is just degrading and pointless. Rage control?! RAGE CONTROL?!?!?!? PLAY FREAKING FIGHTING or RACING VIDEO GAMES for a change! That lets go of your anger and stress in a positive healthy manner. Don't let St. Anger hang loose around your neck like that. Come on, I really want you to kick that habit off from you, it's really unreal and worrying. And it makes most people to leave you alone and make you to have this impression that nobody appreciates you. There are a lot of interesting hobbies and individual sports that can release anger and stress. A LOT. Painting, writing, RPing, martial arts, play musical instruments etc. |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-08 05:16:39 |
sometimes the wound is less painful than what one is experiencing...a temporary escape from reality. if it'll make you stronger the next time you face the world then okay, but i believe only someone who has great mind control can really do this and not fall into the habit(hence get addicted).   |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-13 08:33:37 |
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@Woots...There is no relese of anger that is non-violent for me. I doesn't work. Playing video games and such work alright when I'm moody and stuff, but when I have to relieve some anger I have to do it in a pysical manner or it's not gonna go anyway. I've punched a hole in a wall and it barely relives anything. Sadly I can't get a punching bag cuz (1. I don't have the room with 3 people living in a 2 bedroom apartment. and (2. There isn't a good place to drill into the ceiling to support it anywhere.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-14 02:34:45 (edited 2007-12-14 02:41:45)
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There are many ways to release that excess anger in you. And releasing anger does not have to be really physical. It sounds risky when you said no non-violent physical activity can release your anger. That's wrong. If it's too physical, there are some chances that you channel not your anger, but you channel yourself to aggression, which relieves nothing of that anger. That'll be madness. And it's better to partake activites outside your home. I can feel that 'these' people who you live together in the same apartment give you some sense that they leave you 'little' space. Do you feel this cramped, welled-up emotions in you all the time everytime you are at home? Go take a walk in the park, or the whole town, whatever that's away from your home for a while. This allows you to think beyond what you used to think. You know, because of the little space you always enclosed in, and you punched a hole on a wall and it gives you no reward, that shows you need more space for yourself. When you walk, this is where you pay attention to what's around you--- distract yourself from your everyday anger--- make observations, whatever (and please don't vandalise things XD and don't buy things! (except when you are hungry or thirsty or you planned what to buy) this leads to materialism, and can cause unusual spending, hence more anger)--- this makes you think more and differently too in a space given to you. A space greater than your home. You can express your anger by writing in a book (sketch book, journal book, any empty books), doesn't have to be a journal, treat it as art--- does not have to be uber awesome, it's your art--- you must see yourself how great your anger can be... that way you think in your view, and hopefully let go of the anger after you finish thinking (or just leave it if difficult. You can look over in some idle time). |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-16 00:18:00 |
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I've always thought of cutting as being both self destructive and self preserving. The definition of self-destruct is "to destroy oneself or itself" (go figure) and cutting falls into that category, no matter the reasons for it. I think it's also self preserving because personally, I do it to not so much to protect others, but to protect another part of myself. I don't cut myself out of self loathing or out of self pity. I do it to keep myself in one piece. Sometimes it feels like either the world is pushing in on me, or trying to tear me apart and in order to keep what's left of my already shaky mental standing, I cut. Just a small bit, never on the wrists or across any main veins or arteries, just deep enough to hurt. The pain clears out my head, gives me something to focus on. I know that it's self destructive, but it's also the only thing I can think to help preserve what's left of my mental health. It's well worth a few inconspicuously placed scars. And about the alternative ways of letting out nervous energy; I meditate, I do yoga and I write, but sometimes those things are not enough. Sometimes in order to feel grounded I need to split some skin and I really don't think there's a problem with that.  |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-17 06:53:09 (edited 2007-12-17 06:55:02)
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@vamp468- What are you actually proving to yourself by cutting yourself? Why? I don't know what sort of blades or any sharp items that can make deep but not serious cuts on your skin but you know, you'll get even worse infections or diseases if you keep it up. Just like I said to Dark Stranger, there's a feeling of little space for yourself. I thought a person is capable in widening their personal space without doing any things that can lead to further health and mental problems. You do yoga, but it's not enough. You write them down, it's still not enough. You feed the steel blade your blood in exchange for your releasing anger and frustration. Now that works. You want to know why? Think this: When you cut yourself, do you find the process quick? Now instead you cut, you meditate: Do you find this process quick or slow? Is Time against you? Do you trust Patience? |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-20 03:08:15 |
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I use jagged knives. Easier then say a razor blade. Put pressure down and a quick slice and that's all there is too it. And time is always against you. Better to get over some proablems with pain the lament about them for longer periods.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-20 09:50:43 |
| Just play video games. Go start a new hobby. I am just tired to talk about this. I ain't controlling your life. |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-22 08:06:49 |
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This is the point I am trying to get across. I have hobbies. I love video games. I love wrestling, I love anime, music, and talking walks. I am a totally nice person, so why do people say I'm so self destructive and things like that. I don't know. I'm not suggeting that everyone should do it. I am just saying that it works for me and why for some reason it hasn't affected my life when all of this other evidivce presented by Gendou says something is horriably wrong with me.
"It's better to be used, then to be useless." |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2007-12-22 08:27:05 |
| As long as you are not endanger yourself on your own, no worries upon us all. I am not saying you are really really really emo, destructive kind of person, and I do believe you are talking the truth anyway. Okay then, fair enough. If it is not for self-destruction, fetishism but a thing to keep sanity. That's your way, you gotta live it by your words, then. |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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@Dark stranger, I think that no matter how many times people tell you cutting is self-destructive, you will not be willing to accept their answer. In regards to common sense, cutting is self-destructive. in terms of logic, cutting damages your bodies various capillaries, veins, arteries, skin tissue, etc. you are subjecting yourself to infections as well. All this without including the reason for cutting. In a sense, for you, cutting will prevent you from doing worse things. It's still destructive to your body. seriously, go to B. dalton's and purchase those $5 anger management kits. never tried one but it would be an excellent outlet for your anger. 
wooo maplestory |
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Re: Cutting: Self-destruction or Self-Preservation?
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by
on 2008-01-17 03:49:52 |
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Y'know people go on about self destructive behaviour, but have they ever considered what that actually means? A guy works twelve hours a day, he hates his life, he works, he eats he sleeps. Everything else deteriorates. But he is so wrapped up in routine and self abuse through over work that he has nothing else. People view him as successful and rich because of his possessions and status in his company. But he is lonely, miserable and depressed. I think that's self destructive. Someone cuts themself because they have excess anger and aggression. Why? Who cares, it doesn't take away the damage that's already been inflicted. The person doesn't care because eventually they come to accept their 'self harm' as a normal day to day thing. I think that's self destructive. A man carries a code of honour. If he ever sees a wrongdoing he corrects it. He is honest, valiant and noble. However, he needs to keep growing stronger to satisfy his moral code. To take down the bad guys he takes on other peoples challenges. They become weaker and he becomes stronger. He actively seeks out often violent confrontations that could potentially kill him. I think that's self destructive. A man lives an honest life. He has two kids, a steady job and loving wife. He doesn't go out of his way to do 'what's right' but he will stand against wrongdoings if it was necessary. One day a man approaches him and begs him for money, he tells the man to leave, threateningly. Two days later he reads in the paper that the man mugged an old lady for as little as the fifty pence in her pocket. The man is guilt ridden, knowing that had he acted he could've done something it eats away at him constantly for the rest of his days. I think that's self destructive. I actively seek out strong people to fight. I am bound to combat for life and I love it. The rush I get from fighting people stronger than myself. Testing my own limits to the brink. I think that's self destructive. All humanity is self destructive. Somewhere along the line. Your forced into situations where stress and 'society' will twist your way of thinking from what should be natural. If you wanna get rid of anger, find out where you can do some good. I mean if you have aggression, try something like weight lifting. Combat sports. I think you haven't pushed yourself to any limits and it's driving you nuts. You need to see how far it can go. Or maybe your afraid that if you let that aggression out that it won't subside because you can't see past the choice of letting it out. I've been there done all that, threw table through windows and become a serious threat to folks around me. But eventually it all goes away; then you get the onset of sorrow and remorse for your actions and eventually over time you'll accept that it's all just a part of you. When that happens it will go away. It'll give up, because you've stopped fighting yourself. Then you'll start to heal and things will look better. I can't say this'll all work out for to be sure, but I had a long and difficult journey to create the man I am today. I have flaws and I'm fine with that, I can deal with it. The wounds are deep and may never quite heal, but I can bear them if the people around me were willing to stick with me. I owe them as much. Oh and on a side note, anger management is infuriating. If you want someone trying to dissect your soul, go ahead. If you wanna squeeze a rubber ball for half an hour to feel calm, go ahead. Personally, I don't go for those quick fixes.  |
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