|
Post-A-Poem
|
|
Hey everyone. Hows about I make a thread where you can post poetry of your own making and have others (bluntly but kindly) critique it. Ill even start it off with one of my own. Complications If only I could hope to see The sky above or the sea below so I could know eventually that the world was made for me If only I could try to sense the truth behind the garbled words A translation of the text so that even the next piece of evidence can solve all of the nonsense I wish that I could speak to you comforting words for you to hear and to hold dear If I could but only speak true all of the things that you are due  |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
| Nice. |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by
on 2005-11-27 20:46:40 |
|
Interesting idea, your poem is good. Here's one of mine(I made it up of the top of my head. It has a secret message inside too!): Please return soon, Ordinary housewife screams, Kill her, kiss her sounds in my mind, Evolve beyond the norm, Malevolence is underated, Old ways creep through me, Neither side of me resisted. She lay there stiff, Unmoving, Cute in her tranquility. Kill her, kiss her, Such grace... |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
*lost* dont mean to be rude, but i didnt understand them.  |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by
on 2005-11-27 20:56:26 |
|
You see, the poem itself is inconsequential (a guy kills his wife). The first letters of each line spells out my message. |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
ROQ that is awesome. i would have never thought about it. (thats cuz im stupid and slow). its awesome. |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by
on 2005-11-27 21:11:50 |
|
Thank you! Pokemon does suck! Yippeee! :) |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by zparticus27
on 2005-11-27 22:50:36
|
|
umm here's a poem i found from a game i played years ago... Insanity leads to chaos then to solitude... the friutless effort of adding meaning to what is meaningless a lone crimson tear falls to the sea... the echo of the remaining star cries to the infinte vacuum All i could do is send my prayers setting sails on dreams... |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by
on 2005-11-28 06:14:07 |
|
ROQ, you have too much time on your hands. I'm afraid I'm no good at poetry.  |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
im gonna look for this one peom i wrote like a month ago, ill post it when i find it. |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
heres another For Me I want to tell you a story about a cool guy who saw many things out of each deep blue eye He heard many stories people told him their fears they told him their sorrows and things to redden ears the cool guy did listen and gave his advice he liked helping people It made him feel nice the stories kept coming so much through the years that he became overwhelmed and was brought to tears but the cool guy told no one he kept it inside he thought he could handle it and oh how he tried then something happened the guy fell in love all worries were vanquished it felt like help from above he forgot all his worries at least for a while he helped only the girl he used all of his guile but the girl loved another she had said as much so the guy was helpless he could look but not touch the guy was depressed he felt so alone and all of his worries came crashing back home he sat deep in thought on one sleepless night and came to realize he would be all right he could still love the girl while she loved another he would persevere as the big older brother the guy was happy again he had purpose in life he would help others again and get them through strife the cool guy is back feeling fresh and new and you can see peace in his eyes that are blue |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
Here's a haiku that I wrote: Crushed red strawberries, Upon a clean white towel, Let us feast our eyes.
Wise Man says: "Take a dog off its leash and it will wander."
|
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
Every great hero that has ever lived, They lived for one thing and one thing only, They live for themselves, for their pride and glory, That’s what made them survivors That’s what made them a legend...... (Excerpt from Miriel of Concordia) If I fall, I will rise again, If I die, I will revive again, If I Lose I will gain it back I will return.....  |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
josh, i really like your second poem. i know its about you, but it kinda reminds me of what one of my friends says about me. engineer, i love strawberries. *steals the strawberries* |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
|
|
Thank you Ketsuki Heres another one: Madness I feel the pressure inside emotion made physical words will not describe full to the brim overflowing cant stop the swirling in my own head cant stop the thoughts from coming feels like madness discontent with the way things are want to be gone want to be away from this place depression and anger like a stagnant well it makes me sick too many thoughts to sleep trapped in my own mind am I mad has reality deserted me have i gone over the brink too quiet outside roaring inside And for the hell of it Ill make one up off the top o my head... A Haiku For Gendou he sits near his computer filling us with animated joy with wit and wealths of knowlege and since Im feeling creative heres another one Crying tears of crystal crimson staring at the muddied floor trying to forget my secrets |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by
on 2005-11-29 13:50:39 |
|
All of you are very good! Here's one I did for school! Running, stumbling through the darkness, It persued me as I ran. There was no reasoning with it, My pleas fell on deaf ears. Gnashing it's teeth, it came closer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a cave, A final sanctuary. Without hesistation, I entered, panting. Suddenly it was quiet. Farbeit from me to question how the sounds of pursuit had died. I hid there, For an eternity, Not happy, but empty, A gleam of light, Cut through the comforting darkness. I stood slowly, nearly without strength, And peered outside. The warm summer breeze, Caught me unawares, As if the pursuit had never happened... Where had the beast gone? It had been so long... Did it ever exist? I was lost in thought, Dead to the world. The rendering claw came as a shock to me... As my boddy was torn asunder. I wondered how it had happened. How had he snuck up on me? Crimson bathed the cave walls, And as the light faded from my eyes, And my screams died out, I saw neither I nor the creature had a shadow. With a grimace I saw, We were connected at the foot. My shadow... I could never run from him... That's it! Hope you guys like it! It's really dark! I don't know why, I'm a pretty optimistic guy... |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by
on 2005-11-29 15:16:11 |
|
roses are red violets are blue if you dont read the rules its ban time for you! :D 
|
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by :(*):Mangetsu:(*):
on 2005-11-29 16:48:02
|
|
I wrote this but I don't know if it is good. Tears upon my face, burning my skin Unknown emotions, my heart is achening. Cannot find the light in this darkness Using masks to hide what I feel, I’m lost now, can’t find my self, Can’t recognize me Alone... I am a prisoner of my own feelings I can’t scape. I’m living in the darkness I wish I could show my feelings If I had the courage I’ll tell you what I feel But my heart is weak And no words walk out of my mouth Just a silent tear, can you feel me now? The only thing I want to do is hold you tight But when you are near Is hard to breath My heart beats fast There is nothing I can say Nothing I can do If I could only let it flow If I could just say I love you
ç„¡å£ã«ãªã‚‹ã»ã©å¥½ãよ 優ã—ã•ã©ã†ã—ãŸã‚‰è¦‹ãˆã‚‹ã®ï¼Ÿ 抱ãã—ã‚ã¦ã‚‚ã£ã¨å¼·ã æš–ã‹ãªèƒ¸ã‚’ä¿¡ã˜ã‚‹ã‚ˆ ã•ã‚ˆãªã‚‰ã‚½ãƒªãƒ†ã‚£ã‚¢ 明日ã¸â€¦â€¦
|
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by
on 2005-11-29 17:31:45 |
|
@Mangetsu, great poem, dude! Kinda sad, deep, meaningful, with a clever ending! Nice! |
|
Re: Post-A-Poem
Link |
by :(*):Mangetsu:(*):
on 2005-11-29 18:23:14
|
|
Thanks!! ^^
ç„¡å£ã«ãªã‚‹ã»ã©å¥½ãよ 優ã—ã•ã©ã†ã—ãŸã‚‰è¦‹ãˆã‚‹ã®ï¼Ÿ 抱ãã—ã‚ã¦ã‚‚ã£ã¨å¼·ã æš–ã‹ãªèƒ¸ã‚’ä¿¡ã˜ã‚‹ã‚ˆ ã•ã‚ˆãªã‚‰ã‚½ãƒªãƒ†ã‚£ã‚¢ 明日ã¸â€¦â€¦
|